作文练习册。leezhengjiang

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

Do media pay too much attention to the private life of famous person
Brainstorm: what’s the background?

How it influence?

What should be the right orientation?

On the noticeable positions of television, newspapers, magazines and websites, do always occupy something good or bad related to famous people, especially about the common faces, such as artistes, sportsman/sportswomen, or businessmen/businesswomen. Without a doubt, media does really pay much attention to the famous person. And I can not agree with it any more.

To make oneself known, in much extent equals to be successful. As to the mass, while who are not that much appealing to lots of other people, it’s no bad to learn about famous people’s success or just their private life, which in reality refer little to the achievement of their career. While the need to be well-known in itself is no wrong, and even helps people to live an efficient life. Unfortunately, such an internal psychological need is utilized by the media to hype about their value, which actually is superficial, and far away from the classic way to be successful, that way requires a lot of painstaking progress.


No matter what time is changing, the only way to be successful is to go through hard-working. Never ever can we just analyze and copy famous people’ private life to be really successors. In fact, certain things about some a singer divorce with another famous filmmaker have nothing to do with the universal value of success, and media should never pack one whole page to tell people such trifling things. Further to say, we are even strangers to these charters, it’s absurd to devote enthusiasm into their private life about who are couples, and who are singles.

The media really do much about the unreasonable ads about famous people; however most people really enjoy it. There must be some good reasons. As I said before, most of us nowadays are addicted to discovery a shortcut to make well-known, since the traditional method asks for painstaking, and no one would enjoy it. So before mass understand the right only orientation, the media plays as a popular leader, telling the mass the “right orientation”. However, the media obviously does not take the responsibility to orient right. The success of common face can not result from one-day-work; the media seldom tell stories before some certain one became common face, where the truth of success roots.

Being well-known is needy for everyone, while before we pursue it; never should we forget about the right method. And what media tells us should take seriously.

每天一篇，希望有所提高。也希望路过的朋友，帮帮看看。谢谢。。

yeyelovenimoUID: 2774843

15# lizhengjiang
   Focused on the speaker’s opinion for a while, I am amazed by the relationship between job and career as most of young people today as well, who never think seriously about the future career before. While from my personal knowledge, if I have to make a decision, I am pro to support the idea that before stepping into one’s ultimate career, most of our young people should firstly go to try several different jobs. (赞一个开头~)
   As for career, it is a serious topic, which in my eyes, determines how smoothly our life will orient.（语法问题哦，可以改成: Career, which is a serious topic in my eyes, determines…另外觉得orient怪怪的，是不是用proceed好一点？） At least, a good career, fitted to one’s interest and ability, is the prerequirement（应该是precondition） for success in the future. Never ever should anyone encounter his career without painstaking. Finding a wonderful career sounds some kind of like finding a perfect man/woman to marry. Before meeting Mr. Right, we have to go through hardship, only from which can we find out what’s we really longing for, and what’s the internal mind asking for. The same condition as it goes to career. Before taking a long term career, we should try several jobs to help us find where our real interest does lie（去掉does)
   While there exists some other people, who severely criticize this pre-behavior before marriage or career（整个句子都是从句，没有主句耶）. As they have experienced（宾语）, the preparation is unnecessary, even（even不是连词, 加个and吧） reflects young people’s lack of responsibility. The often examples（common example）we can get is marriage. Maybe a one-year lover relationship just breaks up for a third one （这句话有点中文啊）; and as to job-hunter, when we find a better job, we easily cast the old one. In both situations, someone is happy but someone sad. But is it directly related to irresponsibility, namely the happy one possesses no responsibility? While the fact is choice is bilateral. Responsibility does not do mean making another choice is innomal(immoral), and that we should stick on the one person or the one job from zero to end. Changing a girlfriend/boyfriend or a job is no wrong and understandable.
   At last, in the very minor occasion does the opponents  make sense, that is if there is some (a) outstanding young person, who goes far beyond the average, and has a well-planned life schedule about his career.(数的一致) No doubt, several pre-jobs are unnecessary. However, as I have underscored it is just the minor case. Most of today’s young people does not be outstanding that much. So we need try several jobs before taking a long term career.
   Life is always not straight forward; seldom of us step into paradise only one stride and it is the tortuous matter in life that makes life more meaning.  so try jobs, then pursue the career.

开头不错哦，值得学习~~~
1整篇文章的倒装看的我头晕眼花….可以适量减少些吧，语法错误较多~
2全文的example就只有marrige
3有些词汇，结构使用的不恰当
4文章分正反两面，但是有一部分的内容是重复的

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

谢谢诶 17# yeyelovenimo

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

8月26日交
: U: \0 l; h! i: }/ h. P/ I$ e4 `" X(09.02.21 NA) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country？

These days each and every country has spent some money and energy to learn about the other country, since the world is becoming smaller and smaller, the connection is becoming closer and closer. Through which way to learn about the foreign country, different people has different preference. However, I can hardly agree with the idea that the newspapers and magazines are the best ways, even if they do help.

Consider what newspapers and magazines bring about, the news mostly related to politics, while maybe a little with international issues, like global warming, short for foil and such things, the stories referred to some aspects of fashion in the special country, and lastly also the most easily neglected part, the advertisements. No more than the three can we learn from newspapers and magazines. So do the three utterly tell us about a certain country? If so, I am afraid a lot of employees will lose their jobs in many other cultural communication institutions, such as TV, films, writers association, and even the country’s museum. While it does not happen right now and actually it will not happen in the future.

About a country, in my eyes, the most worthy to learn is the culture, which is related to the common people’s lifestyle, their attitudes towards the national and international issues, and their ideas about the relationship between the natural environment and our human. Culture is something deposited for a long history, and reflected the most highlighted wisdom and the value system of a people. Absolutely culture never possesses contemporary fashions or immediate topics, which is packed with newspapers or magazines. To better communicate, we need to better understand the difference. It is the culture that determines whether we truly penetrate the essential of the country and aware the difference. For example, before Chinese students leave for the USA, they should learn from books and the stories of experienced people about the American most emphasized value of an efficient time management, which can be tough to learn from newspapers or magazines as I can see it.

As I said in the beginning, newspapers and magazines do help sometimes, since if we enjoy spending a whole morning to read page by page, then we can acknowledge a simple aspect of the common life happening on the interested country. For instance, maybe after 3 hours reading, we know that rarely the people meals with chopsticks. So it is a way to learn, but how could this be said the best way?

Learning from each other is a dual-win tactics nowadays. The first step always begins from learning about the other country’s culture, and there are some methods useful, while the best is never the newspapers and magazines.

utdreamerUID: 2793080

19# lizhengjiang
帮你改好了，可能有些话说的严重了点，请别介意啊，我们追求的是进步嘛~~我们共同进步

killacatUID: 2310961

8月24日交-（09.01.23 NA） Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career
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% V# K+ t7 O4 D, H  L+ yFocused on the speaker’s opinion for a while, I am amazed by the relationship between job and career as most of young people today as well, who never think seriously about the future career before. While from my personal knowledge, if I have to make a decision, I am pro to support the idea that before stepping into one’s ultimate career, most of our young people should firstly go to try several different jobs.
7 q5 h( o# H( d% {0 [, s: r& B+ c* y
As for career, it is a serious topic, which in my eyes, determines how smoothly our life will orient. At least, a good career, fitted to one’s interest and ability, is the prerequirement for success in the future. Never ever should anyone encounter his career without painstaking. Finding a wonderful career sounds some kind of like finding a perfect man/woman to marry. Before meeting Mr./Ms. Right, we have to go through hardship, only from which can we find out what’s we really longing for, and what’s the internal mind asking for. The same condition as it goes to career. Before taking a long term career, we should try several jobs to help us find where our real interest does lie.: B# Q( O/ b4 }: f7 t+ K0 e
4 T2 P- k( W: W
While there exists the other people, who severely criticize this pre-behavior before marriage or career.(是不是把while换成however） As they have experienced, the preparation is unnecessary, even（有点晕。。） reflects young people’s lack of responsibility. The often examples we can get as to marriage, maybe a one-year lover relationship just breaks up for a third one; and as to job-hunter, when we find a better job, we easily cast the old one. In both situations, someone is happy but someone sad. But is it directly related to irresponsibility, that the happy one possesses no responsibility? While the fact is choice is bilateral. Responsibility does not do mean making another choice is innomal, and that we should stick on the one person or the one job from zero to end. Changing a girlfriend/boyfriend or a job is no wrong and understandable.
; t4 v, g5 ~1 M% g+ [, h
4 p  s3 i' i* d5 K& M$ EAt last, in the very minor occasion does the opponents  make sense, that is if there is some outstanding young person, who goes far beyond the average, and has a well-planned life schedule about their career. No doubt, several pre-jobs are unnecessary. However, as I have underscored it is just the minor case. Most of today’s young people does not be outstanding that much. So we need try several jobs before taking a long term career.$ \9 o% a7 c  \3 t8 [( I" C
# h7 C* ~6 o2 h& H+ }
Life is always not straight forward; seldom of us step into paradise only one stride and it is the tortuous matter in life that makes life more meaning.  so try jobs, then pursue the career.

写得很哲理啊，遣词用句都不错，尤其是词汇的运用，还有一些精炼而不俗套的句型，不过感觉好像文笔写着写着就飘起来了，让我把握不住啊，有些晕。。。

PS：不好意思前两天突然有些事情，没能及时批改，请见谅啊~

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

8月28日交
6 G) j( Z/ A4 ~# P5 I（09.02.27NA）Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

Why do people need or actually demand for a job? Well, it is job that brings us bread. In a perfect situation, most of us dream ourselves are the most efficient money-makers, which refers to such kind of a job that it possesses a long vacation time and a high salary. In fact, that is what I admire, neither a job with more vacation time but a low salary or one with a high salary but less vacation time.

Life is the cycle of ups and downs following interchanges between a leisure time and a busy time. Nobody will be glad or at least pro emotionally to live a no-vacation life, in which the cycle of life is unbalanced, seriously lacking of relax and which easily lead to physical illness. For example, once I incessantly stayed for 10 days in the labortory, where I got my food, my sleeping, and mainly my study, in reality, I almost never leave the lab for anything, like exercising, shopping, and even going to my dormitory. Finally I had done my work, when I said goodbye to the lab returning to the real world, I even can not walk in the sunshine, which hurts my eyes and made me feel as if I was surrounding by the crowd of screaming bees. So in my future career, a long time job or job with little vacation will be not suited for me.

On the other hand, job with a long vacation but a law salary would not be a happy thing either. When peers around have smart cars, comfortable houses, and sweet girlfriends. However, I have neither of them, there will be no good reason to happy myself for a long vacation, maybe during which
what I can do is staying in the small department ,watching the little television, and drinking the cheap beers. Definitely, that is the worst future I would like to happen at least. Money is not that good to help everything, but it is the necessity that helps people to create a better life. Actually only with a big money can one enjoy a longer and more pleasure vacation.

As I said in the beginning, I admire a job with a high salary and a long vacation that sounds a little difficult, I have to admit. While it is the ultimate goal I really work for everyday, and I believe people who stick on their dreams, will make it happen.



越写越不满意了。 没有突破，就没有成就

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

谢谢la。。呵呵 21# killacat

snowdjUID: 163707

diamond_dream【13页/122楼】     snowdj      lizhengjiang(水木龙助)
8月28日交8 D3 f9 P* f/ U; t4 e
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.+ H7 L: I8 N( u+ J, W
, s: `8 @3 S$ V* q- ^$ t
Why do people need or actually demand for a job? Well, it is job that brings us bread. In a perfect situation, most of us dream ourselves are the most efficient money-makers, which refers to such kind of a job that it possesses a long vacation time and a high salary. In fact, that is what I admire, neither a job with more vacation time but a low salary or one with a high salary but less vacation time.

Life is the cycle of ups and downs（好词） following interchanges between a leisure time and a busy time. Nobody will be glad or at least pro emotionally to live a no-vacation life, in which the cycle of life is unbalanced, seriously lacking of relax（是不是要变成名词） and which easily lead to physical illness. For example, once I incessantly stayed for 10 days in the laboratory（？？）, where I got my food, my sleeping, and mainly my study, in reality, I almost never leave the lab for anything, like exercising, shopping, and even going to my dormitory. Finally I had done my work, when I said goodbye to the lab returning to the real world, I even can not walk in the sunshine, which hurts my eyes and made me feel as if I was surrounding by the crowd of screaming bees. So in my future career, a long time job or job with little vacation will be not suited for me.

On the other hand, job with a long vacation but a low salary would not be a happy thing either. When peers around have smart cars, comfortable houses, and sweet girlfriends. However, I have neither of them, there will be no good reason to happy myself for a long vacation, maybe during which2 j- c" p- b6 T7 Z! I5 {( n1 e0 l# w？？？
what I can do is staying in the small department ,watching the little television, and drinking the cheap beers. Definitely, that is the worst future I would like to happen at least. Money is not that good to help everything, but it is the necessity that helps people to create a better life. Actually only with a big money can one enjoy a longer and more pleasure vacation. （这个因果有点怪，一个人喝啤酒，也不错啦，也pleasure）

As I said in the beginning, I admire a job with a high salary and a long vacation that sounds a little difficult, I have to admit. While it is the ultimate goal I really work for everyday, and I believe people who stick on their dreams, will make it happen.0 ~2 O# {* _! I& L
呵呵，采取中立的态度，有点难。毕竟可能性小，而且要说原来两个观点不对的地方，也麻烦。不过，能写这么长，我也佩服了。我也学了不少东西。谢谢

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

8.31 这个月最后一篇。。
只是这个话题好陌生，都无从下笔
最近自己在忙什么呢？ 竟然迟交作业了，，汗汗。。

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

9.2 感到顺心的一篇，呵呵，希望最近的努力没有浪费。

keep fighting till dawn, til brighting.

yishanchengUID: 2894733

9月2日交& k% U& B1 b5 d9 L1 M/ a0 `
09.06.12NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.
写得好
可修改
建议
不明确
In most societies, such as, China, Japan, or the USA (最好改为American, 少用缩写), the first assignment for the young adults is attaining knowledge（可用increasing knowledge is the first assignment for the young adults, 外文中物做主语比较好）. The more knowledge, and the better future(这个句式挺好，但是and 删去，改为 The more knowledge the better future we can get).
So many people acclaim that students in universities should do nothing but studying; while a serious biased conspicuously exposes here that studying is maybe the main method to reach knowledge, which does not mean other ways to work on it do not survive. In campus we often see information about part-time jobs; it is really a second way to help students to get some lessons.（观点没表明，可加 I disagree with the statement.）

Knowledge is the key list we students live for. So we should have a very clear concept of knowledge（knowledge太重复了）, as the English dictionary explains that knowledge is the experience in special part of jobs. Studying in lab with tutors is of course one kind of experience, then (and) taking a part-time job without questions is also called an experience, maybe not that much crucial than studying, but that’s not for sure. Actually, a few most great people, such as Bill Gates, Dell whose names both are worldwide in the domain of information technology, have not finished their study experience but get the part-time job into their career, and finally make noteworthy difference.(例子好，不过有些小词因斟酌)

For knowledge reasons, part-time jobs do contribution, but in a nontraditional way, which is far away from common sense about learning knowledge, but which underscores experience knowledge, which in my perspective is more advanced than the traditional learning process.（意思是基本表达出来啦，但不明确） Part-time jobs tell us mostly about new understandings of what we thought we had learned fully; new ideas which we can never find in textbooks but only reach from the job items; and the new communication with guys different from scholars who we may be tired of meeting everyday at campus surroundings.
（excellent）

While there are still some opponents who suppose taking part-time jobs is a waste of time, and (but) that is wrong. It is not a simple yes or no question; it depends on what we consider upon part-time jobs, in which I mean that if one can take a good scheduler that good represents no conflicting with studying time, then taking a part-time job practically increases the efficient of time using, even more, people will find the balance between long studying time and an easy working time with some fresh new guys. While the bad thing is if someone focuses on part-time job too much, it is really a wasting since the first thing in university is studying. But I think school should have good ideas to deal with few of such students. (这段再改改)

Attaining knowledge is mainly about studying, but we should never limited on studying since knowledge in itself is beyond studying, actually we can learning a lot from the experience of part-time jobs if we have a responsibility on our scheduler at campus.
文章总的来说不错，但是要多注意表达明确，小词，多练，祝你成功！

185726666UID: 2686686

25# lizhengjiang
有些句子不太通畅 可以多看点满分作文

lanzhi_gjyUID: 2717147

改好了，请查收

zjlkg2005UID: 2825578

09.05.30NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

Art is seen/regarded as a recreation by most people, such as pop music, films(用单数就好), and graffiti. In school, art teachers are some certain poorly since no parents think their children should spend time on music class or painting class. On the opposite, science, math, history and English is ranked the best intense classes. While I have to claim that the function of art should not be valued by parents, who have experienced so deeply about society that they can not find the forte of art classes.

It is not clever to be an expert in sole one area, and it is necessary to learn from many a field to truly understand the mystery of nature. For example, Albert Einstein, the greatest theory physicist in last century, who is the discoverer of Relativity law, has varied interests besides the math and physics. He loved (注意时态前后不一致)music a lot and in leisure time he would enjoy a piece of violin song（Violin tune）. Maybe it is true that the center of his life depends on study of physics, while life is never constrained by the main time of studying, actually if a person barely know to face all algebra symbols and equations day to night, but take no other interest, life is monotonous and uncompleted. So art is the piece to make life complete.

When schools deny children the opportunities to study art, music, and other creative outlets （这个词合适吗）they are denying the children the opportunity to develop in all areas. No matter what parents’ viewpoint is, art education is inalienable for the young students’ whole-being. Art teaching people to create puts（？） as the same weight as history teaching people to behave wisely, language teaching people to express coherently, and math/science teaching people to think prudently. Besides, never forget the renaissance men when coming to art（？不明白）, who are utterly the pedigrees of all sorts of modern science subjects.

In history, art connects so close to language/math/science. So should now young students do never been deprived the choice to contact with（我查字典了contact好像当名词时用with ,当动词主要是contact people） art. And it is the first job for school leader to balance the investment between art and other subjects.



好多地方觉得用词欠妥，没有全指出，可能是我水平有限，认识错误。反正楼主注意一下。还有感觉结构有些混乱，不够清晰。比如那段艺术使人如何数学使人如何（很像培根论读书 呵呵）放的位置太突兀，和爱因斯坦放一起如何？总之有个清晰的构思，毕竟是不到400字的短文，不能太意识流。