作文练习册。leezhengjiang

yishanchengUID: 2894733

麻烦您也看看我的作文吧！ 谢谢！

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

9月4日交
/ e; ?& ~% ?6 y/ i09.08.01NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life
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When coming to success in life which is the crucial factor, I have come to hear one old Chinese saying that the golden will be gold anywhere. In this assumption, I think if the person has strengths and accomplishments, it would not worry to fail in life. While the influential people acknowledge of what one has got is also important, but it does matter the key issue.

Success is the goal of most of individuals, no matter what kind of job, what kind of occupation and what kind of position one is in, he/she definitely wants to be a successor. As least, success is the standard of the social value in modern communication with whoever else. When you are thought as a successor, you got cut- easy way to most issues in life.

Success is good, maybe we should think more curiously about how to be success. Some brains take the impression of other people, especially the higher state people, the employers, the president maybe, as the most important aspect for one’s success. While this idea sounds to me as the same way as if we want to be learned undergraduates, mostly crucially should we do is to be told by the famous professors. While anyone undergoing campus will understand this is not the key, this is one way out of many others to make oneself known and add confidence in some certain, but never change who you really are in instinct, and of course would help you easily succeed in academy.

It is who you are and what you really do that make you get successful in life, in whatever scope you are, maybe the work field, the academic field, or the education field. I was told when young that nobody had the ability to help certain one out if one would not make a decision to change from oneself. Albeit there maybe sometimes so unfortunate that a long time has floated away the deserved success has no coming as it should be. While maybe we can see an example in noble prize in physics, one famous theory physicist who had found a new method to deal with the universal wave maybe in 1950s, and he did win in last, while it actually took him 30years. “It is worth that much time.” after he got the prize he told the public. Unbelievable, 30years and one prize. While it utterly implicate us one truth that you are gold, you will be bright sooner or later, and the more time it takes, the more successful it will be. So don’t be sad about contemporary failure because of nobody appreciates what you have done.

Success tastes sweet, and everybody enjoys it. So to take a right attitude towards it is to depend on oneself to be successful, but never hope too much waiting others to elevate you.


Time: 33
Words: 517

Yeah, I am a little successful now.

llljjjlllUID: 2745282

hehe 改好啦

fd笑笑UID: 2791669

32# lizhengjiang
9月4日交# v% I+ o# J5 K. e1 j9 G+ x
/ e; ?& ~% ?6 y/ i09.08.01NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life
; f; L4 t8 f9 t9 b! B  \6 e1 E" f* u  w* U9 S
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: Z- n. v' d' w  k
When coming to success in life which is the crucial factor, I have come to hear one old Chinese saying that the golden will be gold anywhere. In this assumption, I think if the person has strengths and accomplishments, it would not (there is no need to )worry to fail in life. While the influential people acknowledge of what one has got is also important, but it does matter the key issue.
* G# z- Q' l# A( d
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Success is the goal of most of
individuals, no matter what kind of job, what kind of occupation（这两句重复了） and what kind of position one is in, he/she definitely wants to be a successor（这是继承者的意思，你是不是要表达成功人士？successful person,这个是最平常的表达，你要是觉得这个不好，可以查查准确的是怎么说的。）. As least, success is the standard of the social value in modern communication with whoever else. When you are thought as a successor, you got cut- easy way to most issues in life.
+ `% ]" O3 L7 v; t. u3 ^' C

0 V7 t8 i# l7 g5 y. Y" \Success is good, maybe we should think more curiously about how to be success. Some brains take the impression of other people, especially the higher state people, the employers, the president maybe, as the most important aspect for one’s success. While this idea sounds to me as the same way as if we want to be learned undergraduates（为什么用被动呢？）, mostly crucially should we do is to be told by the famous professors. While anyone undergoing campus will understand this is not the key, this is one way out of many others to make oneself known and add confidence in some certain, but never change who you really are in instinct, and of course would help you easily succeed in academy.
: \0 s& Q  m8 X: c( Z: d8 L) N# \
/ ~) l: i: f5 m- ^1 t6 {0 K
It is who you are and what you really do that make you get successful in life, in whatever scope you are, maybe the work field, the academic field, or the education field. I was told when young that nobody had the ability to help certain one out if one would not make a decision to change from oneself. Albeit there maybe sometimes so unfortunate that a long time has floated away the deserved success has no coming as it should be. While maybe we can see an example in noble prize in physics, one famous theory physicist who had found a new method to deal with the universal wave maybe in 1950s, and he did win in last, while it actually took him 30years. “It is worth that much time.” after he got the prize he told the public. Unbelievable, 30years and one prize. While it utterly implicate us one truth that you are gold, you will be bright sooner or later, and the more time it takes, the more successful it will be. So don’t be sad about contemporary failure because of nobody appreciates what you have done.
  u1 }; k5 s6 ~0 W$ c, e# Y! n
6 ?8 d% q& V! p& e5 N6 o
Success tastes sweet, and everybody enjoys it. So to take a right attitude towards it is to depend on oneself to be successful, but never hope too much waiting others to elevate you. 0 G. C( K6 g9 m# Y

& L5 [5 ~2 T" w- r7 c8 x3 q

) @/ }% o( r1 \6 f3 K, \Time: 33( Q) e0 C0 V8 N& D
Words: 517+ g' ?+ q2 k- S6 k  _' z+ x  v; ^# p! M

6 @! P# q+ P6 G& PYeah, I am a little successful now.(
我觉得第二段写的多余了，这段并没有说到文章的中心上，你中心是要论述known by others 和 being successful的关系。后两段还是很好的。
最后一段写的很好

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

2009.9.11NA  agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life

Not long time along there published a movie the transformers, which tells a virtual story that can never happen in today’s logic. Before any analysis about whether this movie teaches us something about real life, one thing for sure is the transformers transmits around the world in few days, becoming one of the hottest new film on the list. This is just one out of many films whose backgrounds and the scenes are both far away, actually beyond today’s reality. However anyone who has watched those has a sense of being learned, including me.

In narrowly speaking, movies reflect opinions about real life, maybe the unique life habit under a certain culture. In fact, most movies in TV and the internet belongs to this narrowed kind of movies, to reveal the customs in one society by using the stories about the average’ s life issues, such as education, job, food, marriage, hosing, and the list will go on. For the mass, what they can attain from watching such movies is perhaps merely enforcing the life experience which they have learned during the grown-up and from the everyday’s communication with people and matters.

For one thing, I assume such watching’s has little meaning since the stories telling in the movies just happened or will happen on ourselves or nearby us. I don’t find a good reason to redo things, especially watching character’s life on screen and living a similar life in reality, which sounds like living a life like playing a play. Where is the fun of perspective life in this way?

From an eye of general art, we can see movies as the imagination of between virtual and real life. Actually, a good film should exceed the real life, in which can the film bring us meaningful thoughts about ourselves and the environment we are in, especially the prosperity and crucial problems human beings are facing now. let’s look back on the transformers, which scene maybe happen 100 years later on our world, and in which initially we experience the traditional value of hero, but more significantly we have really faced a future communication issue referred to how to deal with robot beings, how to trust alien beings, and even how to maintain the universe peaceful.

As the instinct core of movies is the art expression, which derived from the real life, but always go beyond real life. In this case, we have practically learned more from the virtual scene in movies.

天天在外面，电脑太不方便了。。

ing315UID: 2870197

Not long time along there published a movie the transformers, which tells a virtual story that can never happen in today’s logic. Before any analysis about whether this movie teaches us something about real life, one thing for sure is the transformers transmits around the world in few days, becoming one of the hottest new film(这个表达。。。T好象也没有什么很热辣的场面吧呵呵~。可以用TOP10替换) on the list. This is just one out of many filmswhose （whose只能用来指人,which）backgrounds and the scenes are both far away, actually beyond today’s （redundancy）reality. However anyone who has watched those has a sense of being learned(不是特别地道), including me. (开头写的充实又自然，如果把重点转移到 MERIT会更好。开头结构最好是全文结构的浓缩)[

In（redundancy） narrowly speaking, movies reflect opinions about real life,  maybe the unique life habit under a certain culture. In fact, most movies in TV and the internet belongs to this narrowed kind of movies, to reveal (revealing) the customs in one society by using the stories about the average’ s life issues, such as education, job, food, marriage, hosing, and the list will go on. For the mass, what they can attain from watching such movies is perhaps merely enforcing (enriching?) the life experience which they have learned during the grown-up and from the everyday’s communication with people and matters.  

For one thing, I assume such watching’s has little meaning since the stories telling in the movies just happened or will happen on ourselves or nearby us. I don’t find a good reason to redo things, especially watching character’s life on screen and living a similar life in reality, which sounds like living a life like playing a play. Where is the fun of perspective life in this way?(…..总论点是夸它就不要在中间说这么长的坏话吧，呵呵。要说可以放到最后，略微的ADMITTEDLY一下表示客观)

From an eye of general art, we can see movies as the imagination of between virtual and real life. Actually, a good film should exceed the real life, in which can the film bring us meaningful thoughts about ourselves and the environment we are in, especially the prosperity and crucial problems human beings are facing now. let’s look back on the transformers, which scene maybe happen 100 years later on our world, and in which initially we experience the traditional value of hero, but more significantly we have really faced a future communication issue referred to how to deal with robot beings, how to trust alien beings, and even how to maintain the universe peaceful.(peacefully)

As the instinct core of movies is the art expression, which derived from the real life, but always go beyond real life. In this case, we have practically learned more from the virtual scene in movies.

很好的一篇文章，有一些小小的错误
学了不少东西呢~~

:）

littleecho33UID: 2876349

2009.9.11NA  agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life Not long time along there published a movie the transformers（T）, which tells a virtual story that can never happen in today’s logic. Before any analysis about whether this movie teaches us something about real life, one thing for sure is the transformers transmits around the world in few days, becoming one of the hottest new film on the list(top office box 是描述排行榜一种说法). This is just one out of many films whose backgrounds and the scenes are both far away, actually beyond today’s reality. However anyone who has watched those has a sense of being learned, including me. （the start is good, however is also somewhat opaque）&（） |: `7 }* R! a% L; @ 6 F2 A. d4 R6 G. K+ Q (In 删~)narrowly speaking, movies reflect opinions about real life, maybe the unique life habit under a certain culture. In fact, most movies in TV and the internet belongs to this narrowed kind of movies, to reveal the customs in one society by using the stories about the average’ s life issues, such as education, job, food, marriage, hosing, and the list will go on. For the mass, what they can attain from watching such movies is perhaps merely enforcing the life experience which they have learned during the grown-up and from the everyday’s communication with people and matters. 5 ?. w6 j0 z) ?; a5 L3 e . X9 {0 x/ Z! @$ A9 B$ g( Q For one thing, I assume such watching’s has little meaning（make nonsense） since the stories telling(told) in the movies just happened or will happen on ourselves or nearby us. I don’t find a good reason to redo things, especially watching character’s life on screen and living a similar life in reality, which sounds like living a life like playing a play. Where is the fun of perspective life in this way? , D6 i1 ^; t5 N" R5 v/ Z! y ' X  [* d) b# G. h& _$ }! |From an eye of general art, we can see movies as the imagination of between virtual(the word is good!) and real life. Actually, a good film should(can) exceed the real life, in which can the film bring us meaningful thoughts about ourselves and the environment we are in, especially the prosperity and crucial problems human beings are facing now. let’s look back on the transformers, which(whose) scene maybe happen 100 years later on our world, and in which initially we experience the traditional value of hero, but more significantly we have really faced a future communication issue referred to how to deal with robot beings, how to trust alien beings, and even how to maintain the universe peaceful. 3 d1 }9 N2 t$ d$ b+ `7 C4 U1 W ; K' K" y$ z- ?As the instinct core of movies is the art expression, which derived from (good!)the real life, but always go beyond real life. In this case, we have practically learned more from the virtual scene in movies. ' A2 z5 x+ J* d- S9 \. j ( k( k3 n/ _+ V& p" N0 [天天在外面，电脑太不方便了。。 some of the words and expressions are great for us to learn. however, as Toefl writing, you neen't think that far away because you essay seems too thoughtful and in too deeper analysis.

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

9.11
纪念日贴

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

yeah,, 哈哈，我真是有些控制不住，写issue的感觉吧。
非常感谢你的建议，我现在正在慢慢改正。。


37# littleecho33

cqx83UID: 2671579

楼主语言比我好多了,向你学习!

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

9.16+ 9.18

sorry too much, my dear friends, i have not written several days now

recently i have focused on applying for non-examed graduation program, so

while i am wonder would it be the right choice,

haha, god knows the answer, i don't care that much now

but, however, no matter what's the situation now, i have got one goal to achieve this time, to defeat IBT, to reach 100+

haha, i have say so ,,,,,,

凼凼55667UID: 2904147

9月18日交08.12.05NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life

Life is that prograss in which we undergo amounts of activities like learing, eating, travelling, sleeping, and doing sports. sports is one part of our life from the logic and scientific perspecitve（没必要说的这么复杂吧！！）, there is no doubt we can learn lessons about life from sports doing. Of course, the most significant ones are about the life itself, then the teamwork and also the attitude cofronting difficulties.（teamwork, cofronting difficulties 不能和life 分离开来说，life不是包含这些么）

At the threshold, let me talk (非书面语)about what the sports tell me about the distinctive life, the human body and the human soil. Sports may be stemmed from the acient （拼错）prehistory times if you agree with me （非书面语）that the first hunting activities taking place in our ancesters’ daily life can be called a kind of sport. Actually, hunting is a sport, in a modern definition of sports. so what this activities tell us about life? while in the eye of historical amtuer（amatuer）, it is sports that offter us the power to improve ourselves in both the physical and the intelligence, since only doing sports can we robost our muscles and during sports we must deal with emergencies, which ask for a smarter brain, then we human once as a minority in the African Plant got evlove during the competetion against the most dangerous preyers, like lions, tigers, and snakes. Doing sports is a right choice to help people become more stronger and more delicate, that is one lesson about life what I got from sports.

On the second, since sports in modern times does not often remind people of the historical meanings in evolusion. I have to make some more obvious lessons to illustrate the good things sports have done on me. It is about the teamwork, of course which is only one presentation among many other life konwledges we can achieve in sports. my favorite extraclass acitivity is playing basketball with my friends. For example,  if we want to play high（中式表达啊）, which means we all have the opportunities to show our best, we need compromision, we need passion, and mostly we need understanding even every single movement of our teamplayers（自己造词？）, such as a stop, a jump, a rotation and so the forth which always indicate the others to take some kind of measure right now. operating groups in a simtanious step is the best situation we can fulfill, and during sports I learn it.
（作者的亲身体验使文章内容丰富不少，但是只举自己的例子有点说服力不够。不如把这段人称改一下，改成描述篮球运动本身，会好一些）
Last but not least, it is about the life attitude we can learn from sports, espeically when we are in front of great difficulities. In basketball playing, I always tell myself to be stuff even the guy before me is such powerful in the first eyes, while I  never will give in.
（在作文中出现两次篮球的例子，让人感觉思路不够开阔。换一个体育项目写吧，我觉得你肯定也能写好的）

Life is like a race, and it is sports that teach us how to race quickly and never being behind others.

Words: 463
Time: 30 (时间不够了，最后两段只有四分钟)
优点：1，句式富于变化，三段开头的承上启下句很赞。
         2,文章总体思路清晰。
不足：1，有很多拼写错误， word都有提示。
2第二段论述的展开得有点过了，可能作者想得太复杂了。个人认为从历史上来讲sports的对人类生存的意义，不容易与阅卷官达成共识，而且有点跑题。可以找一些简单的观点来写，可以参考一下别人的作文。
3，造句需更加严谨。一二段长句太多，而且有语法错误，逻辑有些混乱。
4，论证有点头重脚轻，这样的文章在考场上是拿不到好成绩的。写作合理安排时间也是很重要的。

我也写了这篇，希望楼主回批~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1155361-1-1.html

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

没有状态，后天就考了。

呵呵，伤心我的Money 又让老美骗走了。

langtianrinuanUID: 2810236

lee-9.23.doc (28 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2010-9-25 21:14:32 上传

下载次数: 2

明天就上考场了是么？
建议不太太执着于漂亮的句子，词汇，能把自己观点写清楚明白是最重要的。
祝好运。
说得不妥当的，多多见谅啊。