tarena1230的作文本

tarena1230UID: 2772259

题目：Newspapers and magazines are the best way of learning about a foreign country?

字数：429          用时：01:10:00          日期：2010-8-18 11:54:44


Some, holding this belief that the most efficient and effective way to research and study a foreign country is reading something on newspapers and magazines, claim that people always get information by some publishments and transmit to others. I concede this opinion. Nonetheless, as for me, internet can also obtain news of foreign countries, even more businesslikely.

Initially, one issue which encourages me to hold this opinion is that the internet becomes the most extensive and massive method to communicate and gain messages. With the booming development of economy and society, the age of information explosion is coming. What's more, traditional publications have already failed to reach and fit people's requirement in this quick rhythm period.  A survey reported by the Department of Sociology at Manchester University suggested that 37.6% people have the habit of reading newspaper every day. It is a 35.8% decrease, compared with 20 years ago. The internet displaces the newspapers and magazines incontrovertibly.

An additional factor involves this recognition that the information on the internet is more objective than the one in magazines and newspapers because of the government regulation. As is known to all, in order to manage a country to develop smoothly and fluently, every government would filter some news which they do not wish their citizens to know. Despite the essentiality and necessity of the control, some individuals, who intend to mine the deeper truth about some occurred abroad, lose the chances and conditions. However, the internet looks like much more open. people can get almost all the information and exchange their ideas to any persons if they like. In addition, due to the immatureness of Internet technologies, people are able to exploit an advantage to acquire information they need and interested.

Admittedly, public publication has a kind of unmatched authority in order to guarantee the correctness and availability of the essays in these publications. For example, the origin of the data in a essay of a magazine can be warranted as true as die for the responsibility of legislation, which can enhance our confidence about the essay's persuasion. Similarly, the objectivity and outness of the viewpoint of an essay can uttermostly and maximumly pledged. Compared to the information of Internet, the publications have attempted to remain neutral and impersonal in an argument of an occurrence.

From all the evidence mentioned above, it is not difficult to assert this summary that despite the authoritative aspect of magazines and newspapers, the newly medias such as internet and the strictly measure of control by the government weaken the paper medias advantages and necessity of existence.

cocomilkyUID: 2886394

题目：Newspapers and magazines are the best way of learning about a foreign country?
【Some, holding this（the） belief that the most efficient and（去掉） effective way to research and（去掉） study(know/get familiar with) culture of a foreign country is reading（to read） something on newspapers and magazines, claim that people always get information by some publishments and transmit to others.】1 I concede this opinion. Nonetheless, as for me, internet can（去掉） also obtain news of foreign countries, even more businesslikely.+ b+ F) h. y) `. r0 U9 a  G

1.句子太长,主谓隔太远，难理解，ETS不喜欢这种句子，他会理解为病句。最好改为分句。还有，A&B用法最好不要用意思完全一样的词
2.第一段结尾需要重点体现internet是最好的

NInitially, one issue which encourages me to hold this opinion is that the internet becomes the most extensive and massive method to communicate and gain（get） messages. With the booming development of economy and society, the age of information explosion is coming. What's more, traditional publications have already failed to reach and fit people's requirement in this quick rhythm period.  A survey reported by the Department of Sociology at Manchester University suggested that 37.6% people have the habit of reading newspaper every day. It is a 35.8% decrease, compared with 20 years ago. The internet displaces the newspapers and magazines incontrovertibly.

观点是在说网络的信息量大，但是例子确实说明读报和杂志的人变少了。例子没有说服力


An additional factor involves this recognition that the information on the internet is more objective than the one in magazines and newspapers because of（is） the government regulation. As is known to all, in order to manage a country to develop smoothly and fluently, every government would filter some news which they do not wish their citizens to know. Despite the essentiality and necessity of the control, some individuals, who intend to mine the deeper truth about some occurred abroad, lose the chances and conditions. However, the internet looks like much more open. people can get almost all the information and exchange their ideas to any persons if they like. In addition, due to the immatureness of Internet technologies, people are able to exploit an advantage to acquire information they need and interested in.

: Y6 F7 q' V2 O; x
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Admittedly, public publication has a kind of unmatched authority in order to guarantee the correctness and availability of the essays in these publications. For example, the origin of the data in a（an） essay of a magazine can be warranted as true as die（？） for the responsibility of legislation, which can enhance our confidence about the essay's persuasion. Similarly, the objectivity and outness of the viewpoint of an essay can uttermostly and maximumly pledged. Compared to the information of Internet, the publications have attempted to remain neutral and impersonal in an argument of an occurrence.


From all the evidence mentioned above, it is not difficult to assert this（the） summary that despite the authoritative aspect of magazines and newspapers, the newly medias such as internet and the strictly measure of control by the government weaken the paper medias advantages and necessity of existence.

1.最后一段只是说报纸和杂志被削弱，并没有说网络是最好的
而第一段有说网络比报纸和杂志好
有点矛盾
2.第二段的例子没有说服力，需要找一个符合观点的例子
3.题目中有提到learning about a foreign country
但是在文中却没有被重点描述，这点需要考虑
4.以上纯属个人意见，欢迎拍砖:)

naqi2010UID: 2878960

这是下一次的作业 楼主交早了！

S酱UID: 2883188

Some, holding this belief that the most efficient and effective way to research and study a foreign country is reading something on newspapers and magazines, 建议主语不要这么冗长claim that people always get information by some publishments and transmit to others. I concede this opinion. Nonetheless, as for me, internet can also obtain主语是互联网，互联网会获得知识比较奇怪啊 news of foreign countries, even more businesslikely.

Initially, one issue which encourages me to hold this opinion is that the internet becomes the most extensive and massive
method to communicate and gain
messages. With the booming development of economy and society这俩个方面放一起很奇怪, the age（换成era如何？） of information explosion is coming. What's more, traditional publications have already failed to reach and fit（meet） people's requirement in this quick rhythm 查查英文有这么用的没…快节奏？period.  A survey reported by the Department of Sociology at Manchester University suggested that 37.6% people have the habit of reading newspaper every day. It is a 35.8% decrease, compared with 20 years ago. The internet displaces the newspapers and magazines incontrovertibly.*

An additional factor involves this recognition that the information on the internet is more objective than the onethat in magazines and newspapers because of the government regulation. As is known to all, in order to manage a country to develop smoothly and fluently很chinglish的感觉， every government would filter some news which they do not wish their citizens to know. Despite the essentiality and necessitynecesary of the control, some individuals, who intend to mine the deeper truth about some occurred abroad, lose the chances and conditions. However, the internet looks like much more open. people can get almost all the information and exchange their ideas to any persons
这个有点不切实际
if they like. In addition, due to the immatureness of Internet technologies, people are able to exploit an advantage to acquire information they need and interested.

Admittedly, public publication has a kind of unmatched authoritychinglish的感觉 in order to guarantee the correctness and availability of the essays in these publications. For example, the origin of the data in a essay of a magazine can be warranted as true as die for the responsibility of legislationdie是啥意思呃我没大懂－ －, which can enhance our confidence about the essay's persuasion. Similarly, the objectivity and outness of the viewpoint of an essay can uttermostly and maximumly pledged. Compared to the information of Internet, the publications have attempted to remain neutral and impersonal in an argument of an occurrence.

From all the evidence mentioned above, it is not difficult to assert this summary that despite the authoritative aspect of magazines and newspapers, the newly medias such as internet and the strictly measure of control by the government weaken the paper medias advantages and necessity of existence.这么长句子做that的重句太长了……而且that宾语重句里面可以嵌套despite让步状语重句么？＝ ＝…

个人意见仅供参考：说实话有些句子我没看懂，汗，重句挺多挺好的，但是具体结构再明晰化点好，有的用词和搭配再斟酌下为好…

FannieHsuUID: 2861996

改好了~

tarena1230UID: 2772259

题目：a job with a more vocation time but a low salary is better than a high salary but less vocation time?
字数：463          用时：01:02:45          日期：2010-8-28 21:34:48


Some, holding their opinion that finding a job with a high salary following the less vocation time is a wise and rational choice, claim that this kind of jobs can lead us to a smooth life. I concede this opinion. Nonetheless, as for me, vocation time is more significant than others.

Initially, one issue which encourages me to hold this opinion is that our life can be enriched if more vocation time is provided. With the booming development of the economy, the citizens have less and less leisure time, which is replaced by extending work and pressure. So, the people, if they can choose, would choose a job with more holidays, although the salary is a little low but it is enough. They are able to do some readings, do some sports, and everything they like. More importantly, the affection from family members could be enhanced within one's feelings. Therefore, their children have more time to be accompanied and guarded by parents, who have had almost no time to be near their children.

An additional factor involves that recognition that some individuals can engage in some shops to increase their incomes, such as a flower shop, ice-cream shop and so on. Undoubtedly, it is very possible that the salary of a job with less vocation time maybe is less. Moreover, people always have higher energy and a more responsible attitude when they totally work for themselves. Similarly, instead of opening a shop, some individuals prefer to stay at home to research some new technology, and it might be to have some inventions. For example, Mr. Liu, a famous worker in YiWu, chooses a relative sinecure, and spends all the spare time to research theory of sound, finally invent a instrument named Vuvuzelas, which is the most famous tools in the World Cup of South Africa.

Admittedly, a higher salary has much attraction to the majority. The incomes are the flag that how much value a person creates in the society. A survey reported by the department of the Sociology in Manchester University suggests that 85.03% people argue that the crucial point they choose a job is the salary. It is 11.22% increase, compared with 10 years ago. This survey indicates that the most people firstly concern that what and how much they gain, which is understandable. With a deeply pressure, all the people should and must pay much attention to what their work can exchange, especially after they get married. Whether they afford their children is the primary focus of attention.

From all the evidence mentioned above, it is not difficult to assert this summary that despite high profit of the job with less vocation, more leisure time could color our life and encourage and promote us to stick to our dream and interests

185726666UID: 2686686

Some, holding their opinion that finding a job with a high salary following the less vocation time is a wise and rational choice, claim that this kind of jobs can lead us to a smooth life. I concede this opinion. Nonetheless, as for me, vocation time is more significant than others.* F+ l! r0 v' I  O

Initially, one issue which encourages me to hold this opinion is that our life can be enriched if more vocation time is provided. With the booming development of the economy, the citizens have less and less leisure time, which is replaced by extending work and pressure. So, the people, if they can choose, would choose a job with more holidays, although the salary is a little low but it is enough. They are able to do some readings, do some sports, and everything they like. More importantly, the affection from family members could be enhanced within one's feelings. Therefore, their children have more time to be accompanied and guarded by parents, who have had almost no time to be near their children.)near用在这种地方是否有些不妥 B/ e* j# Q8 [8 C+ `
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An additional factor involves that recognition that some individuals can engage in some shops to increase their incomes, such as a flower shop, ice-cream shop and so on. Undoubtedly, it is very possible that the salary of a job with less vocation time maybe is less. Moreover,是否应该用however 否则逻辑点承接不搭 people always have higher energy and a more responsible attitude when they totally work for themselves. Similarly, instead of opening a shop, some individuals prefer to stay at home to research some new technology, and it might be to have some inventions.这句话表达奇怪 For example, Mr. Liu, a famous worker in YiWu, chooses a relative sinecure, and spends all the spare time to research theory of sound, 加 and 会好些finally invent a instrument named Vuvuzelas, which is the most famous tools in the World Cup of South Africa.

Admittedly, a higher salary has much attraction to the majority. The incomes are the flag that how much value a person creates in the society. A survey reported by the department of the Sociology in Manchester University suggests that 85.03% people argue that the crucial point they choose a job is the salary. It is 11.22% increase, compared with 10 years ago. This survey indicates that the most people firstly concern that what and how much they gain, which is understandable. With a deeply pressure, all the people should and must pay much attention to what their work can exchange, especially after they get married. Whether they afford their children is the primary focus of attention.' w此段的论据不够明确啊. K& U; S& \2 j' }
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From all the evidence mentioned above, it is not difficult to assert this summary that despite high profit of the job with less vocation, more leisure time could color our life and encourage and promote us to stick to our dream and interests encourage 和 promote 两个动词连用有些中国化了

185726666UID: 2686686

以上纯属个人意见 欢迎拍砖！

tarena1230UID: 2772259

题目：younger school children should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history, and language.

字数：417         用时：00:54:30          日期：2010-8-31 23:04:03


Some, holding that the pupils are at best to spend leisure time to learn some extra courses, claim it contributes to enhance the children's qualities and enlarge their eyesight. I concede this opinion. Nevertheless, as for me, children should have a enjoyable and joyful childhood without deeply pressure and any extended study.

Initially, one issue which encourages me to hold this opinion is that nowadays most children study the courses at school in using up the great mass of energy, which has no enough energy to handle some extended courses such as art and music. With the booming development of the economy and society, people would work and live with heavy pressure, so children have to study all the time, especially in their leisure time in order to attend a better college. Although the pupils does not know, or not realize this situation, the parents would tell them and be strict with them to do everyday assignment, even they will give some extra assignment about math, physics, chemistry, and so on. Based on their parents' attitude, it is impossible to have time to learn the courses like art and music.

An additional factor involves this recognition that not all the children are interested in the art and music, and let alone go to learn. As is known to all, for the parents, it sins that forcing someone to do what he does not like to do and the object is their children. A survey reported by the department of the Sociology at Manchester University suggests that 88.4% children (ages five to nine) like to go outside to play balls and sun. It is only 1.2% increase, compared with 15 years ago. This survey indicates that children theirselves are not willing to stay inside a classroom to be teached by teachers, and they prefer to embraces the nature world. This is the children's nature and instinct.

Admittedly, the art and music class are of great help to the children if time is allowed. After all, to study knowledge is not harmful and the art and music can promote them to understand some theory about science. Additionally, having a skill and specialty can help to get a job with higher salary, when they enter the society and start to find a job.

From all the evidence mentioned above, it is not difficult to assert this summary that despite the contribution of a job, the art and music courses fail to increase the importance and necessity in children's curriculum planning.

日落沙发UID: 2764889

发到你邮箱里了。

tarena1230UID: 2772259

题目：students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities
字数：352          用时：00:45:00          日期：2010-9-3 16:30:21


Some, holding this belief that adolescents at school ought to not have part-time jobs, claim that they are supposed to concentrate their time on study exclusively. I concede this opinion. Nevertheless, as for me, part-time jobs can benefit these students from the aspects of enriching their working experience and improving their independent ability.

Initially, one issue which encourages me to hold this opinion is that the practical course can enhance the prospect of students' employment. The students majoring in the practical courses as computer engineering or interpretation are more competitive in job hunting. Over 100 studies carried out in the ten major cities of the UK over the past decades have revealed that these students can achieve a high employment rate(78.65%). To the contrary, those who are equipped with such as academic knowledge as philosophy, linguistics or economics have few job opportunities, and it turns out that they have to take jobs below their abilities.

An additional factor involves this recognition that part-time jobs can partly weaken the dependence of parents in economics. With the booming development of society, toilsome work and high pressure of living haunt all the people. The incomings of work in all life cannot afford an apartment. However, if children can ease economical burden at this situation by the way of earning in the part-time jobs as alimony or pocket money, it is very lucky that parents can have a rest instead of doing some extended work. Moreover, the experience of works could tells them to know the hardness and difficulty of living in the society, which can alarm a wake-up call to him or her that inspires and encourages him(her) to make great effort to study in university.

Admittedly, it is a dangerous situation that taking a part-time job without any choose and judgment. More importantly, the little consciousness of legislation becomes an unstable factor.  Sometimes we only work for the black heart boss for free for the reason that there is no contract between us, even in danger. This kind of misfortune would shake our confidence and insistence of the independence away home, which attacks us much more, compared with the snatched wealth by working and the life-threatening. So it should be cautious and careful whether going out to work or staying at college in the students’ era.

From the evidence mentioned above, it is not difficult to assert this summary that the advantages overweigh the disadvantages for the students to take part-time jobs during their college lives. Despite the dangerous circumstance of the part-time jobs, the flames of the part-time jobs which can help young adults increase the competition of interview and alert them to be of independence and self-reliance.