8.26作业

utdreamerUID: 2793080

今天第一次加入小组，完成了第一篇处女作，请耐心修改！

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

呵呵，你好。已经修改完毕。。

utdreamerUID: 2793080

2# lizhengjiang
非常感谢你的点评，豁然开朗。意识到自己的主体段存在的问题。继续努力！
PS，能否建议一些牛人的此类牛文给我看呢？发个链接给我吧，多谢~~

utdreamerUID: 2793080

8.28的作业

ke_heatherUID: 2681472

参考一下吧 :handshake

utdreamerUID: 2793080

5# ke_heather
多谢耐心指正，我需要努力~~

longxue26UID: 2687755

4# utdreamer

实在是抱歉  我这几天家里有事儿 上网也不方便 脑子也乱哄哄的

utdreamerUID: 2793080

拍吧，拍吧，大家都来拍吧。谢谢了昂

littleecho33UID: 2876349

9.2 by utdreamer
09.06.12NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.

When it comes to the point that whether the university student should take a part-time job during the study(delete ‘the’), there are always two voices.(two voices contradict each other.) A great number of people strongly hold the opinion that students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities, because they think the high priority for the students is study(ing) while not other things(good expression!), taking part-time jobs is(are) time-wasting and has nothing positive but affecting students’ study. On the other hand, there is an increasing number of people keep absolutely opposite side. They believe students should take part-time jobs in their spare time. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree the latter perspective. There are a couple of reasons as following(as a start, it is too tedious)

In the first place, students can acquire knowledge that cannot be obtained from books by(through) taking part-time jobs, and also the students can apply their expertise into the part-time jobs. It is obvious that the end of study is not how much you can learn, while how can you transfer them into practice. In addition, students can accumulate work experiences which will be pretty helpful for their future jobs, and during the part-time job period, they need to communicate with different people, this can help them learn the interpersonal skills, which can enable them to survive in the future career field.  

In the second place, by doing part-time jobs, the students can also earn some money except all the advantages mentioned above.(all the advantages不好，毕竟前面只说了一个优势嘛~some money except that previous advantage) As a matter of fact, money is useful in many purposes. With the money, students can buy necessities which they have been expecting for a long time, such as a pretty nice jacket, a set of books, and a laptop and so on（good!）. They do not need to ask for (excessive)money from parents if they have a method(access) to earn(ing) money by themselves. Furthermore, the most meaningful way to spend the money is using that for further study, which can enhance their specialized knowledge and abilities, and all these will make them stand out in the job market.(furthermore有点偏题).

In addition, although taking part-time job will occupy some time of the students, which should be used to study or communicate with friends, well, if the students can (organize time 删)schedule properly, this will not be a problem.

Although I admit（admittedly）, in (a)certain extent, there are some disadvantages of taking part-time jobs, it can be ignored when compared with the advantages it brings about.(however, advantages enormously outweigh those ignorable weaknesses.) From part-time jobs, students can (not only earn money to make life a little affluent but also) get experience, acquire knowledge (that cannot be obtained from books删 形成三个并列短语 有气势点 个人观点 哈~~ and) master interpersonal skills. (thus, )In my opinion, ( I sheerly support that )students should take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.
Comment: 打工毕竟挣钱第一，我觉得第二个观点应该放在第一位，获得经验啦之类的应该是后面的。还是有很多好的表达和句式，值得我们学习。

luolnUID: 2689004

9.2 独立写作

修改完成

utdreamerUID: 2793080

9# littleecho33 你的意见提得简直是太好了，非常感谢啊， 我们共同进步~~~~

shufescUID: 2616499

不好意思改迟了~~

utdreamerUID: 2793080

9.4作业，再拍~~~

utdreamerUID: 2793080

综合写作，希望有人帮我拍拍~~~

utdreamerUID: 2793080

接着发