作文 8.26 skyice1987 第一次写

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8.26 批注 by Fatalerror

(09.02.21 NA) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country?


With the development of globalization, it is important to learn foreign country for us. However, what is the best way of learning foreign country? In my opinion, I suppose that newspapers and magazines can help us know human living, history and culture of foreign country.
(结构清晰 引出话题 设问 提出观点 如果是完全赞同的话
suppose有点保守 应用一些更肯定的词表明态度 如believe)

Firstly, it is newspapers and magazines that is (are) substantial to mass media. (不明白it is句式的目的 没找到it指代的对象 感觉直接用that从句做主句就好 newspapers and magazines are substantial to mass media) It (感觉这里的it和第一句的it是指代同一对象 应该是newspapers and magazines 如果是这样的话 代词应该用复数they 其后的动词也应用复数appear) appears amount of habits of human living (恕我才疏学浅 没看懂human living的含义 这里也许是想说human being). For example, I like read a magazines, called American scientist, which show many new invention (复数inventions 与前面的many保持一致) of living, such as I phone 4 (很时尚的例子 不过注意专有名词的拼写iPhone 4) and new medicine conquering cancer. It (本段的第三个it 同样有些指代模糊 本句表语是inventions复数 但主语是it单数不一致 这里可能是想指代上一句提到的inventions吧) is unique inventions that bring (介词搭配 bring benefit and convenience to the people of the US) benefit and convenience for the living of people of the United States. To me, it (呵呵 发现skyice同学对it情有独钟 本段第四个 而且都出现在句首 这里好像是指代newspapers and magazines 如果这样的话 不如直接用名词 因为相隔太远 用代词会让读者找得很辛苦) broadens my vision and opens my mind. Definitely speaking, I think (感觉这里是想陈述事实而非观点 如果是陈述事实的话 最好不用think 直接说就好了) I learn the foreigner of living through newspapers and magazines.
(本段结构清晰 第一句提出观点 第二句进行解释 第三四句给处例证  第五六句总结 但是论点显得有点泛泛 不够鲜明 第一句提到的核心词mass media 在后面既没有解释也没有胡应 例子很时尚 很吸引眼球 但是与论点之间的联系不够紧密 需要进一步展开 最后两句的总结不错 但是由于论点不够鲜明 显得与论点之间的联系有些疏远)


Secondly, to learn history of foreign (foreign是形容词 不能做介词宾语 应为foreign country), we should read a large amount of book. However, reading book aims to find knowledge what I want to know. This is not to enjoy the amusements which I learn the history occasionally. I can be side of reading newspapers and magazines while go to relax. You can find foreign history which brings you happiness.
(本段通过演绎总结观点 结构很好 很引人入胜 但论点最好在前两句给出 可以使得论点更加明确 万一读者错过了 就太可惜了)

Finally, it is important to us that learn foreign of culture, including language, art, architecture etc. (it再一次的出现在句首 应该是指代全文的写作对象newspapers and magazines吧 也许稍微改动一下会更加简洁 newspapers and magazines are important for us to learn foreign culture, which includes language …) Some people might say that internet can learn about everything, but it is not key to everything. (观点很好 但是learn的主语应该是人 而不应该是internet) Some passages about foreign culture which include prejudice of author cannot reflect the real culture. As a penalization for global people, newspaper and magazines can be fair and true. as for me, we learn foreign language though read their magazines, such as Times, Daily Dairy and Newsweek, they improve my the level of language and known culture of foreign.
(用newspapers and magazines和其他媒体比较 可以很好的说明其fair的优点 但是为什么会有这些优点呢 也许是国家严格的新闻监管 也许是行业完善的流程与审核制度 也许是从业团队的职业素质以及道德修养)


In summary, for knowing human living, history and culture of foreign country, the newspaper and magazines can help us. The more do you read newspaper and magazines, the more you known them.
(最好也能呼应一下best way)

这个题目 可能大多数人都会选择disagree 因为newspaper and magazines在现实生活的确在走下坡路 不断受到新媒体的挑战 例子不胜枚举 skyice勇敢的选择了完全赞同的角度 与众不同 并且可以有理有据的阐明观点 令人赞赏

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1# skyice1987

With the development of globalization, it is important to learn foreign country for us. However, what is the best way of learning foreign country? In my opinion, I suppose think or hold the opinion 会更显观点 that newspaper and magazines can help us know human living用people's life会好些, history and culture of foreign country.. N  g+ i! b* [* {; Y/ V* W 3 E# T' ]9 X" e7 V; T: M5 ]! q Firstly, it is newspaper and magazines that is are substantial to mass media. it appears amount of habits of human living. For example, I like read reading a magazines, called American scientist, which show many new invention of living, such as I phone 4 and new medicine conquering cancer. It is unique inventions that bring benefit and convenience for the living of people of the United States. To me, it broadens my vision and opens my mind. Definitely speaking, I think I learn the foreigner of living foreigners'life会好些 through newspaper and magazines. Secondly, to learn history of foreign foreign 是形容词呢, we should read a large amount of book. However, reading book 主语应该是人哦 aims to find knowledge what I want to know. This is not to enjoy the amusements which I learn the history occasionally. 此句不大对哦 it is not enjoyable to read learn the history occasionally I can be side of reading newspaper and magazines while go while 后是 going to relax. You can find foreign history which brings you happiness. Finally, it is important to us that learn foreign of culture, foreign country's culture including language, art, architecture etc. some people might say that internet can learn about everything, learn 主语是人呢 but it is not key  用 crucial 会好些to everything. Some passages about foreign culture which include prejudice of author cannot reflect the real culture. As a penalization for global people, newspaper and magazines can be fair and true. as for me, we learn foreign language though read 应该是reading 哦their magazines, such as Times, Daily Dairy and Newsweek, they improve my the level of language and known culture of foreign.! x( k$ |  R' w$ a  y$ g1 k; I: ^+ d; P & y# T- f) W# g" t. I. {2 c* T In summary, for knowing human living, history and culture of foreign country, the newspaper and magazines can help us. The more do应该去掉do you read newspaper and magazines, the more you known 应该用know about them. 和我们同组的另位同学的英语作文写得好 值得学习！！