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[求助] xlvieri作文贴 新手发 0912考 求达人细讲 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-8-29 22:02:44 |显示全部楼层
离考试没几天了,现在对作文自己挺没有信心的,想看看各位达人的意见。
题目挺简单的: Should high school students wear school uniforms? 30秒正规完成,但是感觉做的不好,字里行间的逻辑存在问题,条理可能有些缺陷,希望各位大大指正,小弟离考试不远了……

Uniforms, first applied in the religious field, have acted as a symbol of orders and effects. School came up with uniforms alone with education spreading to every home in the western world. Through time flying, a doubt has come to attract everyone's attention that whether chool students, imprisoned in uniforms for centuries, have possibility to escape from this old-style production. Commonly thinking, it really comes to the point that school students wear their own clothes instead.

Applied as the first reason, school uniforms has used to look neat and in order which services as a method to modify the atmosphere to a highly managed situation. Whereas, looking over the current trendency again, it seems easy to conclude that a nowadays school, which has become a more independent place for studying, doesn't require such method to limit creation from active students in campus. When school uniforms murder the freedom of students in creating and thinking, there exists a potential harm that will accompany with kids for a whole life.

In another consideration, high school uniforms are always well crafted with highly selective materials, which requires too much as a result. The extra cost becomes quite a heavy burden for families with low incomes when their kids are asked for more spending on several uniforms, which prove to be not in need. In additional, the cost of keeping a good-looking uniform is not a little deal to satisfy. What makes it worse that if schools set goal for making uniforms luxury to purchase, it turns into a more serious situation which not only focus on finance but also on mortal problems.

Since school uniforms meet the day to retire, schools should take a more careful attitude to reconsider the future of school wearing. It's not an issue just presenting outside, which affects so many factors instead, but a topic about development of a new generation.

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发表于 2010-8-30 22:10:52 |显示全部楼层
今天练得一篇,There is an opinion that,the traditional schools can not be replaced by online schools. Agree or disagree?
没写结尾,会不会扣分呀?

It is not as such a fashion style of study via Internet as what was in the last century, which attracted millions of students so greatly by the unique ideas and new teaching methods. After the cultists promoting the benefits of online school, it turn into a cold point that the public reconsiders this issue and eventually casts preference back to traditional school. With several obvious points, traditional schools swallow back students who miss their direction in the mess of network.

Firstly it states that traditional schools keep the original relationship between teachers and students in a close distance, in which not only knowledge transport occurs but also a special emotional education takes place at same time. Through thousands of years with the form of face-to-face knowledge teaching, this group work makes it reliable that this relationship has been adjusted to demands from society with a great variety of patches to satisfy the tendency. Therefore, the updates in the education reform offer access for students to acquire the power of knowledge with the most excellent style to fit this period in order to catch up with this running time.

More education ideas burst out while the basis of education remains firmly, which is the result of the careful and considerate investigations into the problems that have been commonly existed along the history of studying and teaching. Of all the flaws in the students' growing process, one seems so apparent that no parents owning plenty of experience and wisdom can deny, and this big shortcoming is called self-discipline. It is revealed with no reservation that children, a master who can not control every physical and mental thing, has no hope for study that all counts on themselves. In additional, the objects are not designed for students' favor, which create the hate of study accelerating taking kids away from books instead. As a result, teachers also play a role of guiding and watching as well. Though it is not perfect to perform, it works at all.

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发表于 2010-8-30 23:02:32 |显示全部楼层
It is not as such a fashion style of study via Internet as what was in the last century, which attracted millions of students so greatly by the unique ideas and new teaching methods.主语呢?After the cultists promoting the benefits of online school, it turn into a cold point that the public reconsiders this issue and eventually casts preference back to traditional school。还是主语呢,谓语呢?

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发表于 2010-8-31 00:37:23 |显示全部楼层
3# wei1

好像第一个是缺了个主语,可能自己把自己绕进去了== 不过第二句的谓语是怎么了?求细节

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发表于 2010-8-31 18:39:17 |显示全部楼层
今天的作文
Study by your self or a teacher teaches you ? explain


To a large extent, learning is regarded a long-term task, routinely lasting the whole life. Accounting for this situation, education varies in several stages, in which teachers and students take flexible roles along the whole process. In other words, no one tells the statement whether it is better to have a teacher all the time or not.

At the very beginning of education to kids, self-dependence seems too thin to rely on. In the cradle of human growth, children, curious about everything around, are so vulnerable that they can't deny the lure outside, which easily remove students' concentration on study away to other more pleasant activities. There attracts no blame to young kids for their original dynamics for searching. Moreover, if used in proper methods, children benefit a lot from this. That's what a good teacher performs. Teachers, bestowed the duty for raising up the future of both the society and humankind, take advantages of every resource available to inspire children's desire to absorb what mostly are good for their growth and later development. As another consideration, educators has no chance to company their students forever. They also contribute to leading children a way to further specific research alone, which means that teachers should learn how to drop their kids' hands as well.

With the following development of study skill and attitude, students grow into formation of self-study searching for tools required without assistance from the public. That's the symbol of grown-up. Students, in this process, find themselves lost in the dark, which is treated as natural reaction. Struggling to survive and escape from it is the challenge everyone meets and overcomes. This fear in horrible powerless circumstance forges people's iron mind against ignorance, which offers courage to overtake the active role in study instead of study for several goals to reach. It's just what learning occurs and human's wisdom continues to grow.

Analysis the process mentioned above, the public is aware of the demands students really ask for. To adjust to satisfy the true needs to construct a wonderful lasting society, the teacher's role changes to achieve the max profit, even they may be requested to disappear.

对了,一般good的作文最好是多少字呀?我一般是按350考量的,但是论坛的强人们天天说400,500的,我觉得我的心理承受能力没那么强呀……我30分钟最高也就370呀……

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发表于 2010-9-2 20:01:01 |显示全部楼层
昨天出去办事,没想到帖子就消失了……

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发表于 2010-9-2 20:58:09 |显示全部楼层
今天的,Parents are children's best teacher, Agree or Disagree?
There's no doubt that the first relationship which you first gain is the one with your parents. Through the time shared with parents, every boy and girl hides no secret in father's eyes and mother's ear. Someone, based upon that, comes up with an opinion that the best teachers are the couple who raises you up. However, there are several areas noted that parents, familiar though they may be, lacks the abilities for best educators.

At first glance, parents, in most cases, love their kids too much to correctly judge the disadvantages sleeping in their sons and daughters. Children are born with problems. Several problems appear to influence youngsters during growth, which harm not only themselves but also their friends as well. To be frank, parents actually know these, but they do tolerate these rather than ask their honey babies to change with fierce words. Love routinely assists children to grow happily while mistakes company with them as well. Admittedly, parents, considered in this section, are not well-behaved enough to make justice and equality.

A propensity seems significant telling that parents, commonly without specific training, fail to reach the standard to act a suitable role in teaching. In terms of the fact supported by a wise variety of evidences, parents are likely to guide their next generation to a way similar to their own experience, which makes education easier and more practical. To this point, children, to a large extent, lose their independence for selecting their individual career and are forced or led to be another mirror of their family. What's more, through the twenty or thirty years passed away,  no one denies that a vast majority of changes have taken place. This makes the old way out of date. The teenager receive no option but to figure a plan and fight forward alone. To be exact, even some pieces of advice from their dear mums and dads become horrible traps waiting on the way. Consequently, parents fail to upgrade their suggestion with little effort to sacrifice.

As a conclusion of what is presented above, parents are not best teachers for their children. In other hand, parents, despite the view that they can not reserve the best, still plays an essential role in younger generation.
In reality, children have no access to taking all of the teacher's bitter words for potential progress in physical and emotional part. At this time, parents show their value as the best wingman instead.
今天人品竟然好到写了400,希望考T时也能这么流畅。

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发表于 2010-9-4 23:59:13 |显示全部楼层
今天的,external appearances are important clues of people
The older generation always has a similar suggestion that only the time can tell the truth about a person inside. Routinely, it is right to judge someone in long period, the appearance , whatever, is still an important  factor for investigation on him. Several points firmly support it without reservation.

At first glance, external appearance means an attitude. The attitude, carefully prepared and designed, is represented with motivation to show the hunger for admiring. The public always fears that everything is decided by the first impression, which can be a fake to cheat other's good opinion or further benefit. However, if no external appearances are prepared, it only deliver a situation that there is nothing in advance for any challenges or duties, and it makes things worse to select and make right comments. Admittedly, external appearances are needed for the display of purposes and ambitions.

To follow this point, some more analysis turn to be focused on the society. In consideration of the high pace of life style among cities, the time seems so precious that every second is required to save. In terms of that, another significant view appears to be supported that external appearances are implicated as a method for effective measures and selection. Despite the fact that a tough problem remains with results occurred in a test on surface, it really helps human being deal with several difficulties in short-term. Something, necessary or available for such a thin time table, is able to tolerate the unfamiliar condition that is not the main concern. What is more, nowadays society promotes the administrating science based on profit and common operation. Based upon such background, strangers are also reliable due to the common goal and total benefit. This theory of common interests ignores the skeptical environment and sketches an unusual network. In this way, everyone can trust each other though masks are still on their faces.

In additional to all analysis above, it seems possible to conclude that external appearances act as perfect clues for deeply understanding others. Accounting for all the benefit, we really get used to trust our first impression with our instinct. It aspires a more efficient work pace and a better consideration in career.

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RE: xlvieri作文贴 新手发 0912考 求达人细讲 [修改]

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