Issue52 恳请大家指教!

天地无用UID：112318

Issue 9: Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony.

Syllabus:
My position: encouraging students to question and criticize does not necessarily harm social harmony.
1: we should distinguish “harmony” and “categorical obedience” (the relationship between harmony and categorical obedience)
2: the purpose of the question was the advancement of society (the relationship between harmony and criticism)
3: education also should prevent student from being cynical

Text:
With the rapid development of our society education becomes one of the key words of our time. In university, students are encouraged to question and criticize. But will this does little to promote social harmony, as the speaker asserts? The answer may be not. Admittedly, all students are encouraged to develop their own valuable powers of observation and independent judgment. I concede that these potential leaders might course the changes and reforms; however, it doesn’t mean harmful, on the contrary, only in this way can we find our limitations and shortages and therefore attain the balance.

At first, the harmony doesn’t base on the categorical obedience. We should distinguish them and realize that harmony means a free and well-organized society, where people can enjoy smooth relationship, human rights, liberty of speech. By this we mean categorical obeying always exists in autarchy, as a crucial contrivance, producing nothing but submission and compromise. To get a full appreciation of what this means we must turn first to some recent examples. An extreme instance is Iraq: in the voting of president at the beginning of this year, Saddam has won the election with 100% votes. By the author’s logic, that should “do more to promote social harmony”, because there is no question and criticism. Is that true? I think the preposterousness of such suppose is clear enough. Absolute supporting without any opponents means entire autarchy.

In addition, the problems of a society should be revealed, but not be hided. The reason is that policy mistake of any government, however good and adequate it may be both as a master or a servant, is to some degree inevitable. For instance, facing up the conflicts between white and black, as we known the U.S. authorities doesn’t do the right way before several decades, so there was a speech published against that by the name of “I have a dream”. During this lecture, the unfair and unjust treatments of black has been demonstrated thoroughly by Martin Luther King, and today we realize that a healthier attitude servers better both for white and black. In this case, demonstration has done more to improve civil rights than any suppression. By this we mean people always respect a nation who admits that he is wrong or ignorant, or even unfair and unjust. To be more precise, what the people cannot forgive is the monopoly’s attempt to keep them doing whatever it ordered without any right to raise doubt, or let alone rejection. For the reason given above, I strongly hold that criticism is the basis for harmony, and the harmonious environment is no substitute for criticism.

On the other side of the coin, in order to promote social harmony, education should also prevent adolescent from being cynical. With the regards to the immature students, what our education should do besides encouraging them is to avoid them of self-righteousness and self-regard. Nor should they be insisting when the idea is proved absurd or call other’s rights under damage. In other words, the individual should compromise his assertion or interests when it comes to the benefit of a group or overall society.

In conclusion, social’s harmony is a process, but not a destiny. So any society, which can find problems and scarcities by itself and revise them rapidly, is just a harmonious one. Yet only through the exercise of question and criticism can we convey human social experience in all its dimensions, and thereby fully understand and appreciate life in a harmonic and progressive environment.

SMMUID：106624

I'm sorry I have to leave soon. But I try to give my idea.

There is  a cause and effect relationship in the topic stetment. You may think over it first. If you think my comments are helpful, I wish I have time to give some comments in the near future.

I'm so sorry about this. But I do have to leave now,

suxieUID：136748

With the rapid development of our society move（？好像语法有错） education becomes one of the key words of our time. In the （最好去掉，并非专指）university, students are encouraged to question and criticize. But will this does（do） little to promote social harmony, as the speaker asserts? The answer may be not. All the students are encouraged to develop their own valuable powers of observation and independent judgment. I concede that these potential leaders might course the changes and reforms（？）; however, it doesn’t mean harmful, on the contrary, only in this way can we（要倒装么，i am not sure） find and revise the limitations and shortages(改成find our limitaitons and revise shortages会不会好一些) and therefore attain the balance.

At first, the harmony doesn’t base on the categorical obeying（obeidence）. We should distinguish them and realize that harmony means a free and well-organized society, where people can enjoy smooth(好像不妥) relationship, human rights, liberty of speech. By this we mean categorical obeying always exists in autarchy, as a crucial contrivance, producing nothing but submission and compromise. To get a full appreciation of what this means we must turn first to some recent examples. An extreme instance is Iraq: in the voting of president at the beginning of this year, Saddam has won the election with 100% votes. By the author’s logic, that should “do more to promote social harmony”（这个逻辑好像有问题，证明否命题错不能说明命题错，应该是证明逆否命题是错的）, because there is no question and criticism. Is that true? I think the preposterousness of such suppose is clear enough. Absolute supporting without any opponents means entire autarchy.

In addition, the problems of a society should be revealed, but not be hided. The reason is that policy mistake of any government, however good and adequate it may be both as a master or a servant, is to some degree inevitable. For instance, facing up the conflicts between white and black, as we known the U.S. authorities doesn’t do the right way before several decades ago, so there was a speech published against that by the name of “I have a dream”. During this lecture, the unfair and unjust treatments of black has been demonstrated thoroughly by Martin Luther King, and today we realize that a healthier attitude servers better both for white and black. In that, demonstration has done more to improve civil rights than any suppression. By this we mean people always respect a nation who admits that he is wrong or ignorant, or even unfair and unjust. What the people cannot forgive is the monopoly’s attempt to keep them doing whatever it ordered without any right to raise doubt, or let alone rejection. For the reason given above, I strongly hold that（？） criticism is the basis for harmony, and the harmonious environment is no substitute for criticism.

At the other side of the coin（好像没见过这样用）, in order to promote social harmony, education should also prevent adolescent from being cynical. With the regards to the immature students, what our education should do besides encouraging them is to avoid them of self-righteousness and self-regard. Nor should they be insisting when the idea is proved absurd or call other’s rights under damage. In other word（s）, the individual should compromise his assertion or interests when it comes to the benefit of a group or overall society.

In conclusion, social’s harmony is a process, but not a destiny. So any society, which can find problems and scarcities by itself and revise them rapidly, is just a harmonious one. Yet only through the exercise of question and criticism can we convey human social experience in all its dimensions, and thereby fully understand and appreciate life in a harmonic and progressive environment.

结构比较清楚，但是语法有些错误
个人觉得例子的阐述还是不够清晰

lily_changUID：50566

觉的这样有进步吗？我怀疑。毕竟改的人又不是ETS。标准不一样。

SMMUID：106624

是啊，能有ETS或外教批改最好。虽然每篇都注明请自己思考，但在提自己的经验、看法时没想到这些。如果有些误导（我敢自言没有存心误导别人），真诚表示抱歉。还是忙自己的东西好了。

天地无用UID：112318

当然有进步啊,要不应该怎样?自己闷头写作文?有这么一个地方大家可以把自己的作文放上来,也能看看别人的作文都是怎么写的,斑竹和各位高人功德无量啊!
我们课的外教怕死跑回美国去了,现在还没回来,除了管我要论文算期末考试以外怎么发e-mail都不回信,破鬼子,关键时候真考不住!!
感谢所有帮我修改,以及关注过我的帖子的朋友们,谢谢!

努力修改ing...

paisleyUID：64183

最初由 lily_chang 发布
[B]觉的这样有进步吗？我怀疑。毕竟改的人又不是ETS。标准不一样。 [/B]

是啊。不过，能有人修改修改，总比没有人帮助好。再说即便改得不合ETS口味，至少还是能有些提高吧。语法错误、遣词造句、结构和立意，等等。

也许效果有限，但是总比没有好吧？

天地无用UID：112318

最初由 suxie 发布
[B]By the author’s logic, that should “do more to promote social harmony”（这个逻辑好像有问题，证明否命题错不能说明命题错，应该是证明逆否命题是错的）, because there is no question and criticism. Is that true? I think the preposterousness of such suppose is clear enough. Absolute supporting without any opponents means entire autarchy.

[/B]

关于这个举例论证我的逻辑是这样的:
原作者命题是:
质疑和批评是对社会的和谐不利的力量
那么这个命题的逆否命题是:
对社会有利的力量就不是质疑和批评

关于这个逆否命题的批判我是在下一段进行的:
谁说对社会有利的力量就不是批评,你看人家马丁路德金的演讲,对社会多有力阿,而且多批评阿

这是后话,在这一段我主要像进行的工作是论证什么叫和谐,我想说的是伊拉克那样所谓的全民一心不存在批评(我实在不敢说文化大革命中的盲目崇拜)不叫和谐.

tomatoeggsUID：82073

Issue 9: Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony.

My position: encouraging students to question and criticize does not necessarily harm social harmony.

1: we should distinguish “harmony” and “categorical obeying” (the relationship between harmony and categorical obeying)
2: the purpose of the question was the advancement of society (the relationship between harmony and criticism)
3: education also should prevent student from being cynical

With the rapid development of our society move（这个move 纯属多余。） education becomes one of the key words of our time. In the university, students are encouraged to question and criticize. But will this does little to promote social harmony, as the speaker asserts? The answer may be not. All the students are encouraged to develop their own valuable powers of observation and independent judgment. I concede that these potential leaders might course（改为cause） the changes and reforms; however, it doesn’t mean harmful, on the contrary, only in this way can we find and revise the limitations and shortages and therefore attain the balance. 第一段写的不错的。不过建议语气再强烈一点。

At first, the harmony doesn’t base on the categorical obeying. We should distinguish them and realize that harmony means a free and well-organized society, where people can enjoy smooth（没有这样的表达的） relationship, human rights, liberty of speech. By this we mean categorical obeying always exists in autarchy这一点有点主观了，很多人都会驳斥你的, as a crucial contrivance, producing nothing but submission and compromise. To get a full appreciation of what this means we must turn first to some recent examples. An extreme（也没有这样的表达，考虑typical） instance is Iraq: in the voting of president at the beginning of this year, Saddam has won the election with 100% votes. By the author’s logic, that should “do more to promote social harmony”, because there is no question and criticism. Is that true? I think the preposterousness of such suppose is clear enough. Absolute supporting without any opponents means entire autarchy. 我觉得你这一段还缺些什么：想想这种集权统治就代表着harmony吗？未必，这是宗所周知的。因为民主和法治（不同于专制）是相辅相成的，没有绝对的任何一方。在这一段里，你还忽略了这种独裁与education的联系。

In addition, the problems of a society should be revealed, but not be hided（考虑but not to be hidden inside the bottom）. The reason is that policy mistake of any government, however good and adequate（mistakes怎么可能是good的呢？应该这么说,however benign and rational the intentions may be） it may be both as a master or a servant, is to some degree inevitable. For instance, facing up the conflicts between white and black, as we known （这个多余）the U.S. authorities doesn’t do the right way before several decades ago, so there was a speech published against that by the name of “I have a dream”. During this lecture, the unfair and unjust treatments of black has been demonstrated thoroughly by Martin Luther King, and today we realize that a healthier attitude servers better both for white and black. In that, demonstration has done more to improve civil rights than any suppression. By this we mean people always respect a nation who admits that he is wrong or ignorant, or even unfair and unjust. What the people cannot forgive is the monopoly’s attempt to keep them doing whatever it ordered without any right to raise doubt, or let alone rejection. For the reason given above, I strongly hold that criticism is the basis for harmony, and the harmonious environment is no substitute for criticism. 这一段的例子举的好，但是总体而言，语言太过松散，有点罗嗦。 你一直在陈述criticism 的好处，那么就一直说下去，别又突然扯到monopoly了，虽然你会说，我这是比较，但有否想过思维的顺畅性？在最后一句里，建议就criticism再说说它的贡献之类，从而引出education在其中扮演的角色，这样就符合思绪了。

At the other side of the coin, in order to promote social harmony, education should also prevent adolescent from being cynical. With the regards to the immature students, what our education should do besides encouraging them is to avoid them of self-righteousness and self-regard. Nor should they be insisting when the idea is proved absurd or call other’s rights under damage. In other word, the individual should compromise his assertion or interests when it comes to the benefit of a group or overall society. 你这一段主要是申述不能走极端，但可否再具体一点。

In conclusion, social’s harmony is a process, but not a destiny. So any society, which can find problems and scarcities by itself and revise them rapidly, is just a harmonious one. Yet only through the exercise of question and criticism can we convey human social experience in all its dimensions, and thereby fully understand and appreciate life in a harmonic and progressive environment.

关于criticism的例子，历史上著名的例子很多很多呀，这也是社会进步的中流砥柱，如Galileo之类，还有我们精华版里每日一星里的几个名人。

paisleyUID：64183

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthre ... +should+distinguish

paisleyUID：64183

蛋蛋你可以用高级搜索的嘛。我帮你搜索出来了，原文如上。呵呵，顺便把你的标题也改了。不介意吧？

tomatoeggsUID：82073

谢谢paisley，但是我不清楚究竟是输入哪个？

paisleyUID：64183

随便找一个关键词，不要很大众化的那种，免得搜索结果出来一大堆。

天地无用UID：112318

谢谢哈，我会努力修改的。

说到举例子。。。我是有意识的避开了伽利略，爱因斯坦。我觉得criticism的题目写他们的会非常多，我文笔本来就不是很好，例子再跟大多数人一样，就别混了。

每日一星！嗯，谢谢斑竹JJ的提醒，说是话以前我每篇都看，而且都存下来了，但是属于看过就忘的那种，看来得有意的背一些了...