大五男之作文帖

superchaosUID：2863434

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?  Some people think making sure that others (influential people or potential employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments can help you succeed, if you do not do this, you won’t have a successful life.2 v* H% {* Q. }! r+ a4 q

The majority of people tend to have a favorable attitude that a good understanding of one's strengths and accomplishments would help him or her succeed. In my point of view, it is necessary to making sure that others know about your strength. I will try to demonstrate my point in the following paragraphs.* |) `2 _9 g* C( X

To begin with, having a better understanding of the strengths would help the team members work together effectively and efficiently. With the division of labor, innovations or achievement cannot be made by single person like years before any more. And everybody has his or her merits and faults. Kobe and Yao Ming, as we all know, both are excellent basketball players. If we have no idea about what their strengths and accomplishments is, we may exchange their position. Can you imagine what would happen? I believe that that exchange would lead both two excellent basketball players to a bad career. So, only if we can make sure that others know about their mates' strengths, could we make best use of the advantages and bypass the disadvantages and hence lead to a successful life.

What's more, making sure the others be aware of the accomplishments also is significant. From the accomplishments, we can get much information about a team member, such as proficiency, work quality, and responsibility, and so on. All of these would help us a lot to make a good plan to better schedule the project intensity. I learned that from my internship at ***. At the beginning of the internship, I was very eager to the new tasks. I worked hard but missed the expectation at last. Then, my mentor warned me that I was too aggressive from the information about my accomplishments, and advised me to make a change. Thanks to these advises, I got the excellent intern award at last./ ^2 r: f# g" p/ z: f1 K
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Last but not least, in most case, a better awareness of the strengths and accomplishments would bring some bonus, like advancement, interview opportunities and so on. As we all know, a good resume, which highlights the strengths and accomplishments would get more interview opportunities than other plain ones; a specialist in the particular area, also would get a high payment and position for his well-known strengths and accomplishments. What’s more, the understanding of strengths and accomplishments from influential people is the most important criterion for performance review. In one word, a successful people usually are expressive to inform others the strength and achievement.

In sum, I agree that improving the awareness of strengths and accomplishments is crucial to a success life for most people. A good understanding of person's strengths and accomplishments would contribute a better teamwork, a better plan, and several bonuses. So, with the rapid developing society, people should pay more attention to highlight their strengths and achievements.

不是我不认真改..是实在没什么好改的,惭愧~楼主写的真好！词汇/句式/语法运用的很好...学习了！
不过..我感觉有点跑题?按照我的理解,是不是需要提一下people who are the influential and potential employers??我的意思是似乎题目想让我们写的是make sure those people comprehend what you get, rather than how the emphasis of the strengths ifluences team members?当然它们的重要性要提,但是是不是更应该强调与那些influential的关联,以及因此带来的benefits?
呃~~本人水平也有限……或许你这么理解才是对的,如果说的不对恳请指正~~~(:

LuYZhUID：2684421

Last but not least是口语词~ 不要当书面语用~

swolf54UID：2421931

改在这，有些偏题啊

louisa427UID：2458920

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?  Some people think making sure that others (influential people or potential employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments can help you succeed, if you do not do this, you won’t have a successful life.

The majority of people tend to have a favorable attitude that a good understanding of one's strengths and accomplishments would help him or her succeed. In my point of view, it is necessary to making sure that others know about your strength. I will try to demonstrate my point in the following paragraphs.& d$ C$ s. D+ ^# {* |+ h8 p
' e7 K' `9 L, p) F6 t; r" e3 m4 U% D

To begin with, having a better understanding of the strengths would help the team members work together effectively and efficiently. With the division of labor, innovations or achievement cannot be made by single person like years before any more. And everybody has his or her merits and faults. Kobe and Yao Ming, as we all know, both are excellent basketball players. If we have no idea about what their strengths and accomplishments is, we may exchange their position. Can you imagine what would happen? I believe that that exchange would lead both two excellent basketball players to bad careers. So, only if we can make sure that others know about their mates' strengths, could we make best use of the advantages and bypass the disadvantages and hence lead to a successful life.

What's more, making sure the others be aware of the accomplishments also is significant. From the accomplishments, we can get much information about a team member, such as proficiency, work quality, and responsibility, and so on. All of these would help us a lot to make a good plan to better schedule the project intensity. I learned that from my internship at ***. At the beginning of the internship, I was very eager to work on new tasks. I worked hard but missed the expectation at that time. Then, my mentor warned me that I was too aggressive from the information about my accomplishments, and advised me to make a change. Thanks to these advises, I got the excellent intern award at last.

Last but not least, in most case, a better awareness of the strengths and accomplishments would bring some bonus, like advancement, interview opportunities and so on. As we all know, a good resume, which highlights the strengths and accomplishments would get more interview opportunities than other plain ones; a specialist in the particular area, also would get a high payment and position for his well-known strengths and accomplishments. What’s more, the understanding of strengths and accomplishments from influential people is the most important criterion for performance review. In one word, a successful people usually are expressive to inform others the strength and achievement.

In sum, I agree that improving the awareness of strengths and accomplishments is crucial to a success life for most people. A good understanding of person's strengths and accomplishments would contribute a better teamwork, a better plan, and several bonuses. So, with the rapid developing society, people should pay more attention to highlight their strengths and achievements.: ^/ K- z( v0 p  p- o4 \
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大的语法毛病没有，感觉应该在精炼点，有些道理性的语句重复的次数不要太多为好，我也感觉有点在跑题和将要跑题的边缘，我也说不清，就我的作文昨天还和说我chinglish的那哥们还说了半天，他说我跑了，我自己看不出来，当局者迷吧，加油！

jjooyyUID：2704028

8# cellkey
Who should make choices for the children, parents orchildren? The majority of people tend to have a favorable attitude that itshould be the children to determine their destinies. When this problem comes tome, I agree with that point. And I will try to demonstrate my point in thefollowing paragraphs.这段有点废话。。。. A$ z+ Z3 I! i0 B6 l

To begin with, a considerable number of parents cannot catch up with the latesttrend and knowledge, and hence, it is highly possible that their choices forchildren are not as suitable as children's. With the rapid developing societytoday, what we are experiencing is quite different with my parents' experience.Take my experience as an example, I usually make choices by myself, such aschoosing my university, selecting computer science as my major, continuing afurther study abroad, and so on. My parents, who have limited educations intheir lives, are the traditional farmers in China. Since my childhood后面应该用完成时, theytold me that I should choose my way by myself if I want a different life, andtheir experience would help me little in the future. I believe that what is happeningto me is happening to many people in the world. In one word, it is hard formost parents to make the best choices for their children, even with the deepestlove.


/ tWhat's more, we are different with my parents. We may have different dreams,habits, and even the criteria of choosing spouse. Regardless of children'spreference, many parents are trying to continue their dreams on their children.As a result, millions of children are imposed to learn many skills感觉不太合适。。, likeplaying piano, drawing, dancing, etc. However, when these children grow up,most of them give up choosing these skills as their careers. In this way,parents' decisions have bad 不见得 bad effects on children's lives. In addition, thetradition in ancient China, that children should follow their parents’ ideaseven in the case of finding his wife, also ruined numerous children's lives.这句话不能论证什么 要么放中间 要么不要

lFinally, children should learn to make choices by themselves. Since all theparents would be old and died（die 也太不婉转了！） in the future, it is crucial for all the childrento learn living independently. But, if all the things are determined byparents, an obvious result is that these young people eventually lose theability of independent thinking. Without that, it is hard for children to earntheir successes in the future.  What is worse is that children maylose the confidence and executive ability in their future for the absence ofthis ability.

In conclusion, children should determine their fates by themselves.
其实挺不错的 除了开头有点啰嗦

jjooyyUID：2704028

1.
limited educations.不对 可以试试who are little educated
3 可以加 This phenomena is not uncommon来转
3 d) l7 P, I1 l) G. l' O9 p6 \9 jWe are different with my parents in dreams, habits, and even the criteria of choosing spouse.
In one word, it is hard for most parents to makethe best choices for their children, even with the deepest love. 同上，后面那个加了个补充状语，但是不知道怎么改，求指教" X"
这个问题不理解。。

我的独立还是没改好 明天来交吧。。
对你的问题 大致是这样的想法 有问题 可以讨论

lengningjiUID：2774905

Finally, a good environmental condition also is crucial for the sustainable development. Beautiful scenery, blue sky and clean water will attract more tourists coming to China, and will improve local tourism. For example, due to environment degradation, whatever an attractive city(???), Tianjin, now has become a dirty place that many people complain. What's more, the money from the good environmental condition would invest on the urgent problems like health-care issues.

您文章写的很好啊，这一点我没看明白，其它的实在是说不出什么问题~

调理很清晰，说理也很明白，用词也很好~

by lengningji

lengningjiUID：2774905

14# cellkey

呵呵 没关系的~我昨天也有些事情，作文都没写完~

谢谢评改~