miketry0313的作文贴

miketry0313UID: 2451900

请大家帮忙首先立意是否正确，有没有偏题啊~~谢过了

8.31 独立

Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them

I agree insofar as children have the right to choose their own future. But lacking of experience and thorough understanding easily make them go on the wrong way which is far away from their original goal. To solve this problem, only with the help of parent, the children can only make their own success.

Every child has the right to choose their life. It is wrong for parents to consider their children as a machine which is always controlled by their even if the parents spend much time and money on their children. Actually, bringing up their children is the process to support that they have strong responsibility as parents. Moreover, the parent's choices won't be suitable one. For one thing, parents often familiar with the area where they work, they are interested in and they study. They can't provide useful suggestion in their unfamiliar area. But it is possible that there are differences among parents and their children. That is, their children have their own characteristic which may suitable for other career. In this condition, parent's suggestion may not suitable for their children. For another, things always change. It is hard for parent to keep up the pace with the new world. Most of them tend to reject the new thing and be conformity with the traditional thing. So their suggestion may not adapt for the requirement for the new generation.

However, if the children make their decision all by themselves, it is possible that many mistakes will be made. In the absence of social experience and understanding of the social matter, it is easy for them to make native or unreachable decision. They are unable to evaluate themselves correctly and objectively. In some cases, they will make many goals which they can't reach in a short time. Thus several failures will strike them and make them lower the expectation for them selves. Consequently, they are always the loser in their whole life. Another possibility is that many people can't find their real interest in their young age. Most of children tend to accompany with others such their friends, their classmates when choosing their habit without the relatively introduction. So if it is fail to understand their advantage, it is hard to make them stand out among the competitors and have the incentives to make them work hard.

So though it is wrong for parent to interfere with the process that children choose their own future, the parent can use other way to help student make the right choice. First, it is useful for parent to show themselves habit and interest as a model to the children. If the parents perform enough good and useful, the children will be influenced by the parent's choice and learn from parent's activity to some extent. Second, the parents should always give the suggestion and advisor to children. When children face a big strike, it is good chance for parent to encourage them and provide their own suggestion. In this condition, children also accept advice easily. Third, the parent can also share their experience when they were kids, it is helpful for the children to accumulate the experience and avoid making the same mistakes.

In conclusion, I strongly suggest that the children should have their own space to choose their future. And the help from their parent is also needed to ensure their children choice insightful and useful.

shadowranUID: 2864083

8.31
独立  改

woshixiaozUID: 2889514

没有跑题，
第二段有些重复的内容。
第四段很好，思路清晰，在23之上提出新的观点。
建议23段写的更明了些，重点是4段，重点是你最后一段的conclusion。
另外，句子中的小错误不少，
比如naive而不是native。

miketry0313UID: 2451900

2010年9月1日 周三：/ ^4 @2 r/ o2 L) F* W
独立：

2009.9.11

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should pay more attention to health-care issues than environmental issues.

In my opinion, the environmental issues as important as health-care issues. But in the condition that government has not enough resource to pay attention both issues, the health-care issues should have priority.

It is essential for government to focus on environment issues. In this decade, the pollution of environment is always the heat topic in the world. As for the moral standard, people are members of the nature. The nature provide the basic factor for our living such as air, water and so on. So we have the strong responsibility to feedback our effort to make the environment better even there is nothing to do with the pollution of environment. As the representative of the people, the government should design and recall all people to finish their challenge. When it comes to the society, if the pollution of environment can't be solved, various areas will be endangered. Consider the accident of oil spill in Mexico gulf in the United States, for example. Because it is fail to stop leaking oil, a number of fishmen can' t continue their work and the local government cost a lot of money to pay their loss. Besides, if the accident can’t be solved, 10 types of animal and 3 type of rare animals are expected to be extinct. It will destroy the diversity and the food cycle result in the shortage of medicine and raw material which are taken from local environment.

The health-care issue is of importance to represent the quality of people's life. One of the original goal for people's work hard should be contributed to make their life better and colorful. The government are establish to pursue for maximizing the interest of people. They collect the tax from the common people and should place the immediate and basic problem for happiness of people's life. And whether the people obtain health-care are concerned by people to evaluate the success of government. Always the economic development of society are connected to the health-care issue. An apt illustration of this points involves the Sweden and Norway which are considered as the riches country. Their best health-care reflect the real economic level of the country. So with the development of country, they should focus on the heal-care issue.

However, government sometimes has limit resource and can’t place equal effort in both issues. Thus I suggest that the health-care should be considered as the priority. For one thing, with the high quality health-care system, people have the confidence for the government and don’t worry about their daily life. It gives impetus for them to work hard and produce more. And government’s fund will increase accompany with the increase of economic. Once the positive cycle has been formed, government have additional resource to deal with the environment problems. For another, dislike the health-care issues, the government can call other organization such as NGO and IEPOA for help to solve the emergency problem. In this way, the government will save much money and effort to conquer the immediate problem and people’s life can be secured.

In conclusion, though it is important both health care and environment issues, the government should focus more on health care in the condition that there are only limit resouces.

miketry0313UID: 2451900

9.1 综合

TPO 14

The passage says that the salvage logging benefit forest and economy a lot. However, the lecturer doesn’t agree this point. She claims that salvage logging will damage the forest in the long run and its benefit is still questionable.

First, the location of dead tree may not a suitable place for growing of new tree even if removing the old tree will provide more places. The salvage logging is a rapidly process. During this process, the soil in the location of dead tree can’t absorb enough nutrients to maintain the growing of new tree. Thus new tree probably can’t grow in this location. So this contradicts the reading passage.

Second, the lecturer argues against that salvage logging helps minimize the dangers of insect infestation mentioned in the reading passage. For one thing, there is no evidence to show that the dead trees will bring about the large number of insect infestation. For another, even if the rotting wood provide habitat for spruce bark beetle, it won’t make big damage for the forest because there are large number of spruce bark beetle which live in many healthy forest. Moreover, some insect will help to establish a healthy forest with birds.

Third, the economic benefits is small which caused by salvage logging. As for the industries, the process is very expensive to remove dead tree with helicopter or other tool. The cost of industries will increase. As for the additional jobs, it only provide temporary job and the employers are always trained and skilled outsider rather than local residents. So it do little help to create jobs for local resident. Thus this point refutes the point in the reading passage.

longxue26UID: 2687755

4# miketry0313

如果下次楼主能传附件上来就太感激涕零了

longxue26UID: 2687755

4# miketry0313

In my opinion, the environmental issues as important as health-care issues. But in the condition that government has not enough resource to pay attention both issues, the health-care issues should have priority.  
作业开头选择的是 health-care
It is essential for government to focus on environment issues. In this decade, the pollution of environment is always the heat <hot>topic in the world. As for the moral standard这里要说什么呢? 从道德角度来看? 这么说有点硬的感觉, people are members of the nature. The nature provide the basic factor for our living such as air, water and so on. So we have the strong responsibility to feedback our effort to make the environment better even there is nothing to do with the pollution of environment. As the representative of the people, the government should design and recall all people to finish their challenge这句有点迷惑人. When it comes to the society, if the pollution of environment can't be solved, various areas will be endangered. Consider the accident of oil spill in Mexico gulf in the United States, for example. Because it is fail to stop leaking oil, a number of fishmen can' t continue their work and the local government cost a lot of money to pay their loss. Besides, if the accident can’t be solved, 10 types of animal and 3 type of rare animals are expected to be extinct. It will destroy the diversity and the food cycle result in the shortage of medicine and raw material which are taken from local environment.
1.您这段讲的是 环境保护很重要
2.但是没说 跟保健比较 谁更重要
3.环境保护的讨论部分, 例子讲的是对自然的影响 而没有说对人类健康的影响 我觉得还是跟健康联系一下比较好 而不是单纯的经济影响

The health-care issue is of importance to represent the quality of people's life. One of the original goal<+s>for people's work hard should be contributed to make their life better and colorful. The government are establish to pursue for maximizing the interest of people. They collect the tax from the common people and should place the immediate and basic problem for happiness of people's life. And whether the people obtain health-care are concerned by people to evaluate the success of government. Always the economic development of society are connected to the health-care issue. An apt illustration of this points involves the Sweden and Norway which are considered as the riches country. Their best health-care reflect the real economic level of the country. So with the development of country, they should focus on the heal-care issue.-
1.您这段讲的是 health-care对人类很重要
2.可, 瑞士和挪威的例子只是说 这些国家的health-care系统很发达 没有和前面的重要性有什么联系性论述
3.没有与环境问题的对比总结
However, government sometimes has limit resource and can’t place equal effort in both issues. Thus I suggest that the health-care should be considered as the priority. For one thing, with the high quality health-care system, people have the confidence for the government and don’t worry about their daily life. It gives impetus for them to work hard and produce more. And government’s fund will increase accompany with the increase of economic. Once the positive cycle has been formed, government have additional resource to deal with the environment problems. For another, dislike the health-care issues, the government can call other organization such as NGO and IEPOA 观点蛮好的for help to solve the emergency problem. In this way, the government will save much money and effort to conquer the immediate problem and people’s life can be secured.
这段您终于开始分出孰对孰错了

In conclusion, though it is important both health care and environment issues, the government should focus more on health care in the condition that there are only limit resouces.

我觉得作者的语言还是很丰富的 思维也很灵活
但是 我觉得您的文章结构 和中心意思都比较模糊 有点无章的感觉
也许我理解错了 您别介意

longxue26UID: 2687755

The passage says that the salvage logging benefit forest and economy a lot. However, the lecturer doesn’t agree this point. She claims that salvage logging will damage the forest in the long run and its benefit is still questionable.

First, the location of dead tree may not a suitable place for growing of new tree even if removing the old tree will provide more places. The salvage logging is a rapidly process. During this process, the soil in the location of dead tree can’t absorb enough nutrients to maintain the growing of new tree. Thus new tree probably can’t grow in this location. So this contradicts the reading passage.


Second, the lecturer argues against that salvage logging helps minimize the dangers of insect infestation mentioned in the reading passage. For one thing, there is no evidence to show that the dead trees will bring about the large number of insect infestation. For another, even if the rotting wood provide habitat for spruce bark beetle, it won’t make big damage for the forest because there are <is吧>large number of spruce bark beetle which live in many healthy forest. Moreover, some insect will help to establish a healthy forest with birds.


Third, the economic benefits is small which caused by salvage logging. As for the industries, the process is very expensive to remove dead tree with helicopter or other tool. The cost of industries will increase. As for the additional jobs, it only provide temporary job and the employers are always trained and skilled outsider rather than local residents. So it do little help to create jobs for local resident. Thus this point refutes the point in the reading passage.

写得好!

白菜学英语UID: 2731720

改好啦~ mike.doc (29 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2010-9-2 10:30:21 上传

下载次数: 5

yozujUID: 2736441

The passage says that the salvage logging benefit（s） forest and economy a lot. However, the lecturer doesn’t agree (with) this point. She claims that salvage logging will damage the forest in the long run and its benefit(s) is(are) still questionable.

First, the location of dead tree may not a suitable place for growing of new tree even if removing the old tree will provide more places.(? 你再听听材料吧 我觉得它的意思是decay会供给更多的营养给土地，) The salvage logging is a rapidly process. During this process, the soil in the location of dead tree can’t absorb enough nutrients to maintain the growing of new tree. Thus new tree probably can’t grow in this location. So this contradicts the reading passage.$ Z7 E$ s7 A" b7 A; H5 O

Second, the lecturer argues against that salvage logging helps minimize the dangers of insect infestation mentioned in the reading passage. For one thing, there is no evidence to show that the dead trees will bring about the large number of insect infestation. For another, even if the rotting wood provide habitat for spruce bark beetle, it won’t make big damage for the forest because there are large number of spruce bark beetle which live in many healthy forest. Moreover, some insect will help to establish a healthy forest with birds.
Third, the economic benefits is small which caused by salvage logging. As for the industries, the process is very expensive to remove dead tree with helicopter or other tool. The cost of industries will increase. As for the additional jobs, it only provide temporary job and the employers are always trained and skilled outsider rather than local residents. So it do little help to create jobs for local resident. Thus this point refutes the point in the reading passage.
后面两点概括得不错

miketry0313UID: 2451900

9.2 独立

政府应该建电影院、音乐厅还是娱乐设施？

stoptalkingUID: 2807919

改完了

miketry0313UID: 2451900

9.3 独立

稳定的低收入的工作还是不稳定的高收入工作？

bearseuUID: 2873933

修改好了，欢迎交流