作文练习

tzzxp16UID: 2677282

September 7, 2010
Parents help determined the future of their children or children allow to make their own choices.

As we all know, parents play an indispensable role in their children’s life. Nevertheless, it has long been argued whether parents should intervene the decision-making of their children or stay away as an outsider. My opinion concerns the question can be interpreted as parents can help children make better choices, meanwhile according to the time the role of parents in their children’s life changes.

In the first period, parents work as an agent to make the total decision for their children because the latter are too young to obtain the capacity of judgement. For example, a 4-year-old kid cannot decide which kindergarten he or she is going to attend, children at this age lack the ability of evaluating the education quality of an institution. Thus it is necessary for parents to step in and make the proper choice for the children.

In the second period, parents work as a consultant to provide advices if necessary. A child can never learn how to survive in the society if parents constantly make decisions for him/her. For example, a cousin of mine was too dependent on his parents, once left home for college far away, without parents telling him what to eat or what to wear, he did not know how to take care of the daily life of his own. Thus in this period the main purpose is to cultivate children’s ability of independence.

In the third period, parents work as a listener to understanding the thoughts of their children. Once children can explore the world alone, there are many difficulties they may encounter. Due to the proliferation of information at present, no single person can offer answers to all puzzles, thus it is normal while problems left unresolved. So under the circumstance it is important for parents to encourage children trying their best to overcome difficulties by expressing understanding and support.

In conclusion, the role of parents changes sequently, whether the role as an agent, a consultant or a listener is in accordance with the need of children while growing up. With the careful consideration from parents, the ultimate aim is to develop the capacity of children as strong and independent individuals.

思遥UID: 2865808

总体语法问题没有啥问题 句式词汇用的都不错 这点像你学习哈。。。

但是提一个建议是 每个段落增加几句和题目有关的 不然感觉有点偏题了

总体很好 赞一个！！！！！我都不知道怎么改了

米爆爆UID: 2892134

As we all know, parents play an indispensable role in their children’s life. Nevertheless, it has long been argued whether parents should intervene the decision-making of their children or stay away as an outsider. stay away as an outsider这句有点过了。我觉得不要说得那么绝对。My opinion concerns the question can be interpreted as parents can help children make better choices, meanwhile according to the time the role of parents in their children’s life changes.开头段写的非常好。

In the first period, parents work as an agent to make the total decision for their children because the latter are too young to obtain the capacity of judgement. For example, a 4-year-old kid cannot decide which kindergarten he or she is going to attend, children at this age lack the ability of evaluating the education quality of an institution. Thus it is necessary for parents to step in and make the proper choice for the children.! H+ |3 y# r5 B* G
  b/ D# a# y3 F5 U8 n4 d8 j
In the second period, parents work as a consultant to provide advices if necessary. A child can never learn how to survive in the society if parents constantly make decisions for him/her. For example, a cousin of mine was too dependent on his parents, once left home for college far away, without parents telling him what to eat or what to wear, he did not know how to take care of the daily life of his own. Thus in this period the main purpose is to cultivate children’s ability of independence.( c, c9 ^! B5 R/ A6 T& ^

In the third period, parents work as a listener to understanding the thoughts of their children. Once children can explore the world alone, there are many difficulties they may encounter. Due to the proliferation of information at present, no single person can offer answers to all puzzles, thus it is normal while problems left unresolved. So under the circumstance it is important for parents to encourage children trying their best to overcome difficulties by expressing understanding and support.9 H8 \# o) A, F5 r% v/ o: Q
# B2 o* ^6 P2 P9 t4 i% \
In conclusion, the role of parents changes sequently, whether the role as an agent, a consultant or a listener is in accordance with the need of children while growing up. With the careful consideration from parents, the ultimate aim is to develop the capacity of children as strong and independent individuals.

对于你的用词和句式。无可挑剔。good。真的挑不出刺。但是同意楼上。感觉偏题。