jiroushiren 的作文作业

jiroushirenUID: 2890685

Currently, some people may hold the opinion that Government should more support art museum and music performance than recreational facilities, such as swimming pool or play ground. But others have a negative attitude. As far as I concerned, I disagree that art museum and music performance than recreational facilities. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.

One of the primary causes is that people have to hand with more works and have to face more pressure everyday than before. So they need recreational facilities to relax after a hard work day. Ask some friends to swim or play basketball in the play ground are might the perfect ways for relaxing. We are not only bring some fun from excises, but also attain a health body. Then we would pay more attention into our business and get a strong feeling in the work.

But there is a further more subtle point we must consider. Art museum and music performance as the elegant things are not all the people would like them, but swimming pool or play ground as the recreational facilities the common people would like them. When you walk into a n art museum or a music performance, you need have a heart that has deep love for art, then you will find out the beauty from art. Besides ,if you want to get relaxing from recreational facilities, you need nothing and just do it .Then you will enjoy it.

What is more, the government will spend more money on art museum than pool swimming pool. An art museum needs a large enough room for visitors and safe facilities of arts. Also requires some guides of art for the visitors But build a swimming pool is easier and cost less than that.

Recognizing the fact that people need more time to relax, we can advice government more support recreational facilities than art museum and music performance.

haoannaUID: 2582245

Currently,some people may hold the opinion that Government should more support art museumand music performance
than recreational facilities
such as swimming pool or play ground. Butothers have a negative（是想说opposite么？） attitude. As far as Iconcerned, I disagree that art museum and music performance
thanrecreational facilities.（差动词） Myarguments for this point are listed as follows.
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One of the primary causes is that people have to hand with more works and haveto face more pressure everyday than before. So they need recreationalfacilities to relax after a hard work day. Asking somefriends to swim or play basketball in the play ground are(删去) might be the perfectway for relaxing. We are not only bring some fun from excises（exercises？）, but also attain ahealth body. Then we would pay more attention into(to)
ourbusiness and get a strong feeling in the work.(意义我没看懂)

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But there is a further more subtle point we must consider. Art museum and musicperformance as the elegant things are not appetited by all thepeople(原句主语不一致), butswimming pool or play ground as the recreational facilities can be favoredby the common people(同上一句). When youwalk into an art museum or a music performance, you need have a heart that hasdeep love for art, then you will find out the beauty from（of） art. Besides ,if youwant to get relaxing from recreational facilities, you need nothing and just do it
.Then youwill enjoy it.（意义不太清晰）


What is more,the government will spend more money on art museum than pool swimming pool. Anart museum needs a large enough room for visitors ,safe facilities of artsand alsorequires some guides of art for the visitors .But building a swimmingpool is easier and cost less than that.
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Recognizing the fact that people need more time to relax（前文没这观点？）, we can advicegovernment more
to support recreational facilities rather than art museum andmusic performance.
语法自己要检查啊。句子表述不清自己也可以检查出来的。连接词单调了。

至于句式变换、换词我也做得很差，没资格说了。


1.Modern people are stressed and need to relax by recreation.

haoannaUID: 2582245

To stop this serioustrending, rising locations
for virtual communication should be set up to remindpeople of the importance of thinking and get charged in knowledge.
你帮我改得这句，我觉得Locations should be set up是主句，但是确实歧义了。不知怎么改好。

风起云落UID: 2833888

改好了~谢谢你的点评哈~

jiroushirenUID: 2890685

       Currently, some may hold the opinion that having jobs with low paying salary and being high secure is better than jobs with high salary but being easy to lost. But others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, I prefer to have a job with low paying salary and being high secure My arguments for this point are listed as follows.
       One of the primary causes is that a huge number of people lost their jobs due to the economic crisis. When they stay at home and send their resumes to new company, the helpless, scare , anxiety would around with them. At that moment, they aspirated only a job no matter how much the boss will pay them . They just want have something to do and do not stay at home . A job with high secure is satisfying their needs and they don not want to lose the job forever.
       But there is a further more subtle point we must consider when the employee feel secure about their jobs, they will be more loyal to the company. In their eyes , the company is a big family ,the other employees are their brothers and sisters and they are a part of the company. Under the easy atmosphere , they will work harder and pay more attention on their jobs . The results are employees bring more profits to the company and they feel satisfying with their company and their jobs.
        What is more , when we compare with the two kind of jobs . We found that the employee whose jobs with high salary will be easier to lose their jobs. Due to the jobs with high salary are every people wanted. So the competition of the jobs is more aggressive   and   competitive . The  employee  of  the job  have to  face more  pressure  and  have to work harder than others ,ensuring  they will not lose the job. As you know, too much pressure is unhealthy to our bodies. When we compare money with healthy, money is tiny and useless.
         In a word, taking into account of all these factors, we may reach the conclusion that the most important thing is the employee satisfy to their jobs . So jobs with low paying salary and being high secure is better than jobs with high salary but being easy to lost.