haoanna作文本

caorenboUID: 2548468

9.18的晚了。不好意思。

haoannaUID: 2582245

16# caorenbo
- -
你发错了
还是谢谢你的讲解

haoannaUID: 2582245

923

ba70466UID: 2908017

同学~你的作文我都看了一遍~真的很不错~~啊~
想请问你是怎么想到写这么多东西的呢~我都想不出来有什么好写的。。你是一看到作文题目就能头脑反映出一大堆语句吗。。。
词汇量也很不错~读起来连贯而且新颖活泼~相信一定能拿高分的~~
look up to you!

haoannaUID: 2582245

19# ba70466
其实我是先拿到题目完全想一整遍再写啊
不符合要求的

haoannaUID: 2582245

925
超时太严重了！！
怎么办

miaodiUID: 2613113

批改

rysfUID: 2514937

中秋快乐~~~~

wttyuseUID: 2755832

925批改

norraUID: 2782571

9.25改

21# haoanna

haoannaUID: 2582245

9月28日交

haoannaUID: 2582245

10.2

顺水飘扬UID: 2715101

m10月2日交
08.12.07NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Spending time alone is the best way to relieve stress

The above topic suggests that spending time alone is the best way to relieve stress. For different people hold different views due（duing） to respective angles. It seems a bit rough to reach any absolute consent. Some people show approval of the statement for the reason that main stress often comes from humans' relationship. Obviously, there are other factors rather than relation problems which are unsolved by staying alone. As a consequence, others think the best way is not to stay alone, which is also my inclination. Considering the complexity of this problem I want to think(重复了吧) it in a case-to-case method. In the following analysis, I’d like to reason and give evidences favoring on my consideration.

At head of dealing with our stress, we should primary answer the question: what is the origin of our stress? Anyway, it is not a（an） easy question as we get the first sight, which is contributed by several causes more than human relationship: habits, feelings, actions and so on. Moreover, any of the factors above, which are related to each other in（to） some extent, results（resulting） in stress. Let’s take an example from my experience. The most stress time for me is the day before the deadline for paper. Exhausted as I am typing my paper, I get obviously passive affection for that day, which is full of scary to fail in accomplishing my paper. Nevertheless, according to my discretion, I attain the core root for my strain is merely the paper itself but my delay habit. （此句两个动词，应加个连接词改为从句）This case, which gives me large amounts of inspirations: seizing the original reason of intension is the foundation of solution.

Now, as we've grasped the inner causes for our strain, we should cope with them as the next step. Only by sweeping away the motivation of stress, can we be free from intension. That is what no one can deny. If you have a gloomy mood at viewing events, you can adjust to a positive way. If you have improper action when feel stressful, you can hold back your hands to prevent. In one word, you can make an improvement of yourself to get down some stress sources if you are eager to. As for me, if I do not leave the paper to the last day, I hardly raise fears. Avoidable stresses as I mentioned, which has been exemplified by my own experience, can be removed by own efforts and alternated to a tranquil condition. Take the conclusion as one of my favorite writer once said: we are our master.

At the same time, there are also great quantities of stress that are unavoidable. However, when treating them in an active method, which is the best way to relieve intensions, we find solace. Take traffic jam for instance. The traffic jam, which is unwelcomed stress cause for everyone but in permanently existence, is repeating in our routine life day by day. However, unchangeable as it is, if we watch it in another perspective: a high time to enjoy a radio program as well as a pause to rest my concentrating eyes. By thinking in this way, as far as I am concerned,（这两句留一句就行了） majority of us feel much cozier and less stressful. This case, in some degree, acclaims that our positive attitudes in treating the issues is the best way to receive the stress.
（spending time alone 不等同于negative attitude，所以不能就说positive attitude比stay alone更能relieve stress，这一段的说服力不大）


To make all into a nutshell, for the reasons above which are contracted to each other to support my view profoundly and thus more convincing, I feel comfortable to conclude that the beat way to relieve stress is to cut down avoidable stress causes and take a positive attitude to unchangeable stress rather than spending time alone.

由于水平有限，有些句子我也没怎么读懂。我的建议是每个小段的开头就明确的说出你这段要说的观点，这样使文章清晰明了。还有一些语法上面的错误，希望楼主可以注意一下。有些句子写的还是很不错的~加油~

norraUID: 2782571

我的修改，见笑了。

第五希云捷UID: 2457467

9.28
9月28日交
08.08.08NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All university students should take basic science courses, regardless of their field of concentration.
The above topic points out a fact that many concerns are taken in the statement that whether students should take basic science courses regardless of field of concentration. For different people hold different views due to respective angles, it seems rough to reach any absolute consent. Some people advocate that it really burden students as well as restrain their time devoted into major. Others insist studying basic science is beneficial, which is also my inclination. In the following analysis, I’d like to reason and give evidences favoring on my consideration.

For one thing, an essential cause that can be represented to develop my position is that the basic science assists our daily life to some extent. Let me give you an example. By acquiring the physical character of fire in chemistry class, we obtain deduction, which indicates the sand is more efficient than water to put out the fire, to put out an accidental fire. In this case(改为This case), obviously, shows that in the circumstance of everyday’s (Everyday) life, basic science takes a vital and practical role. Consequencely(改为Consequently), useful as the basic science is applied in our routine day, it is wise to persist that basic science is in demand for university studies(For university studies好像有点不合适吧).

In addition, another cause that need a large amount of concerns, which is not far to seek: variety of our knowledge can decrease our risk in job-hunting. Recently, faced with (直接改为facing就可以了) serious pressure for finding jobs, graduated students take advantages of enormous means to gain extra individual values, which can win the employers’ favor. Anyway, in the same way, the basic science knowledge is also an competitive element when having job interviews, for the reason that your wider scales of mastering knowledge and skills proves your superior learning ability ,especially the utilizable basic science. Moreover, I want to use statistic tools, which probing what we can learn behind the number. A recent survey by Sina.com, the largest portal of Internet, indicates that about 80%graduated students now are occupying in jobs which have no relation with their majors. Thus, wider acquiesces such as basic science can make a higher probability of getting jobs in the future.

Last but absolutely not least, boarding our circles is another advisable reason to choose basic science courses. For students with distinctive personalities from various majors attending the same class, it is quiet easy and nature to encounter unlike people compared to us, which involves not only different backgrounds but also culture diversification. Furthermore, nowadays, a widely accepted idea is that human sources take almost equal importance with personal ability to develop individual career. If I want to demonstrate it with a example, I merely have a more persuasive one than Bill Gates: He met his great friend Paul Allen while taking Algebra classes, and Paul helped Bill found Microsoft Company. As for me, I show support to meet congruous traits with me in basic science classes.

To make all into a nutshell, for all mentioned reasons above which are related with each other to generate a comprehensive and thus more convincing conclusion, we can be comfortable to say that the study of basic science is irreplaceable for use in daily life, guarantee to incline career risk and enlargement of communication circles.
文章的逻辑是很严密的,但是感觉很多词句用得不顺
很多句子看起来很费力.
我感觉文笔会更加重要一些