yanxin19的独立作文+综合作文贴

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yanxin19UID: 2254573

9月26独立写作
hould government support more art museums and music performance than relaxing facilities, such as swimming pool or playground? This topic refers to a choice of a government fund between cultivation high level virtue and enjoying quick entertainment. In my view, high level entertainment merits support from government, and the need is further immediate than reactive facilities.

To begin with, the need of support is more immediate for high lever entertainment than reactive facilities. Swimming pools and play ground, and cinema are all commercial organizations based on customers of all age. The revenue of reactive facilities is more than that of a high level entertainment. I admit that a ticket for them is cheaper, but they get income every day without paying for maintain art works or paying musicians for music performance. Take play ground to make a contrast, it can be lent every single day. The only input is lighting at night.

Secondly, high level merit, deserve merits support from government. Art, such as painting and music, is a gift in spiritual fields. National museum and galleries preserve art works. These works are signal of a nation. In Forbidden City museum, numerous of clocks and clay artifacts in Ming and Qing Dynasty are kept. Conserving them helps recording and enlighten the human's spiritual world. However, preserving a painting on paper is complicated and expansive. Without supporting by government, preserving for long time is impossible. To avoid decay of precious works, art is worth support from government.

Admittedly, simple entertainment makes people happy and relax. It is plausible for modern people get fun from easy channel. However, over emphasis on that entertainment is harmful. For people merely like playing, eating and gambling, entertainment means nothing but killing time.

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Nowadays haunting a job is difficult under the circumstance of global economical crisis. I think determining a precise option of career. The option lies on finding a stable salary with relatively low salary or finding relatively high salary work but easy to lose. In my opinion, considering I am going to haunt a job in companies, I prefer the later. Two reasons are discussed as follows.

Firstly, in companies, especially in marketing ones on which I focus, the work of a new comer is studying. That means accumulation of working ability and experience. Only if a staff acquired kind of ability both in major and in working trifles, developing in career is possible. Contrarily, a staff merely considers secure always overlook study from their boss and colleagues. I want to study knowledge quickly after finding a job, and therefore I choose work in high salary but easy to lose.

(At the beginning, listing a series of pursuits of looking for a good job, it can be regard as the prerequisite or background. However, when it comes to the “contrarily”, I do not think it would be the contradiction)

Secondly, changing a job is frequent and common in current society in my country. A secure work always leads to unchanged personal relationship. Corruption and bureaucracy follow. But if a person has his or her unique point or special virtue, he or she deserves a certain level of salary. A job change from one company to another never challenges the interest of a qualified person. In addition, certification exists in major professions in most nations. They ensure quality of an individual in a career. In US, for instance, a clinical psychologist needs a certification granted by American Psychology Association (APA). The association grants three level of certification from entrance lever to tenure level in hierarchy. The level of certification proves a psychologist’s working ability and deserved salary level-no matter where he or she works.   

Admittedly, a high secure position has some merits, such as less pressure and more vacations. For example, my mother is a public servant, she has three days vacation per week and a half-month annual vacation I spent half of my summer holiday with her every year(using the annual vacation). We enjoyed great time due to her stable work. However, competition is everywhere currently, even for those who have got "secure" works.

(I can understand the secure works also have sorts of pressures, however, I think in this paragraph, you want to claim two topic “a high secure position has some merits” but “competition is everywhere currently, even for those who have got "secure" works”. However, the example can just support the former. )


To sum up, I prefer high salary but relatively unstable work than “secure” work considering mainly on my own experience.
(375 words)


作者的作文功底实在了得，佩服！
语言方面基本没有问题，小问一下（haunt 还是 hunt？）

这篇文章本身真的不好论证，要兼顾到四个方面“high-salary”“stable”“low-salary”“unstable”，感觉作者的意图应该是就工作的目的谈论“salary”，就自身经历谈论“stability”。不过感觉上论证的真的不够有力，逻辑性不强，比如第四段的让步，最后的一句however真的很突兀，下面没有任何证明这句的语言，建议这段让步放在第二段的位置，还会好些。

以上为个人的愚见，如有评论不当的地方请作者原谅。

欢迎作者的批改。 O(∩_∩)O谢谢