yankee11233作文贴

yankee11233UID: 2764801

按要求建个作文贴，本来想好好润色的，可惜学校电脑打不开docx,如有大神可以忍住不吐就欣赏一下吧

yankee11233UID: 2764801

Good people, good end

According to me, doubtlessly, movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people should be punished. Making a good people have a good end can please the author, meaning time, it can also help the government establish a good conception that what is good and what is bad, and what these kinds of person finally will get. Moreover, a positive films and televisions can be more popular, for it companies, making these films and televisions, can get profit on them.



Firstly, a film and televisions showing audience good people are being rewarded please the audience. Most of audiences have understanding that if some one do good for others, then whatever she would suffer in the middle, finally, she must get good repeat. What is more, the good people in the films and televisions are usually liked or adored by audiences. So, being a filmmaker, she should realize the purpose of films is to please the audiences by giving them they want, a good people they like have a good end.



Secondly, none denies medium as films and televisions will practice as a teacher in behaviors. According above, films and televisions having good inclusions can establish the correct conscience about what we should do in the society, and if we do in this way, what will we get in the end. These films can build a conception, to be a good people, and then to be rewarded the good result, in our subconscious. If this conception is in everyone mind, people will wonder the good, and desert the bad.



Thirdly, as profitable companies, in making films and televisions, they should make a positive films and televisions like a good person is rewarded good to make most advantage in profit. In common sense, evil films or negative films are not allowed to sell, and the result, doubtlessly, is the film companies can not make money from this kind of films. What is more, most audiences also do not like these films, for that they perhaps would not buy them.



The films including good people are rewarded, and bad people are punished, have so many advantage. Films and televisions in this kind seem very necessary and meaningful for audience, for society, and for film making company.

zsy2912371UID: 2852365

2# yankee11233

According to me, doubtlessly, movies and televisions should always show audience（改为复数）good people are being rewarded and bad people should be punished. Making a good people have a good end can please the author（这里不是愉悦作者吧，audience）, meaning（mean） time, it can also help the government establish a good conception that what is good and what is bad, and what these kinds of person finally will get. Moreover, a（不要）positive films and televisions can be more popular, for it companies, making these films and televisions, can（不要） get profit on them.8 h6 a/ \% }# w0 b; q) e6 A$ N" ?
0 g7 m/ @4 a$ T8 d& _( U& z


Firstly, a film（films） and televisions showing audience good people are being rewarded please the audience（s）. Most of audiences have understanding （understood）that if some one do good for others, then（despite） whatever she would suffer in the middle, finally, she must get good repeat. What is more, the good people in the films and televisions are usually liked or adored by audiences. So, being a filmmaker, she should realize the purpose of films is to please the audiences by giving them they want, a good people they like have a good end.! n9 D) p( x7 U( d- m; I, i5 B
4 [2 P& U; Q/ M6 T& R) u; b
3 r2 ^; ~  S0 x! s4 D

Secondly, none denies medium as films and televisions will practice as a teacher in behaviors. According above, films and televisions having good inclusions can establish the correct conscience about what we should do in the society, and if we do in this way, what will we get in the end. These films can build a conception, to be a good people, and then to be rewarded the （of a）good result, in our subconscious. If this conception is in everyone mind, people will wonder the good, and desert the bad." U2 p, R7 g! h
; Z, S8 b% j' o5 Z, _0 i4 E5 F

Thirdly, as profitable companies, in making films and televisions, they should make a positive films and televisions like a good person is rewarded good to make most advantage in profit. In common sense, evil films or negative films are not allowed to sell, and the result, doubtlessly, is the film companies can not make money from this kind of films. What is more, most audiences also do not like these films, for that they perhaps would not buy them.
: a) U8 Q+ E9 F2 [) {9 j
The films including good people are rewarded, and bad people are punished, have so many advantage. Films and televisions in this kind seem very necessary and meaningful for audience, for society, and for film making company.

总体来说还不错
前两个理由想的很不错的
第三个感觉跟第一个有一部分重叠的感觉
注意下语法错误
PS:欢迎回改~

yankee11233UID: 2764801

Do you agree or disagree? Sports teach people lessons about life.

  To my way of thinking, sports play an important role in our lives. All in all, it makes up our health, and teaches us lessons about life in many fields. For instead, sports help build up our good timbers, make us realize the meaning of friendship, and tell us how important to us with a good health.
   
   A good timber, that is fortitude character, eager to winning, is primary for us to make our careers in our lives time. In addition, sports can help us to build up these characters. Likely, in the sport games, we know a rule that if I insist, and winner must be mine. Meanwhile, with the sport game, we construct a conscience what is never give up. Furthermore, in the sports, we can get ecstatic from the conclusions that we are the winners, and after we learn the funny to win, we eager to win again to taste this feeling one more time.

   What’s more, sports also can help us realize what the friendship means to us. In the sports, we can find many sport events playing with one more persons, such are basketball, baseball and forth on. In these events, we try our best to reach the win with our teammates, during this procedure, we must trust our friends. In the end, we promote our friendship. Also, we can make new friend in the sports by playing with together, no matter she is teammate or opponent.

   Finally, from the sports, we can learn what a good health is important. In the sports, we train our body, and make them more health and strong. With these changes, we can easily find a good body can make us more efficient in working. As well as, a good health is a base for us to get through the hard times, or very busy but with many opportunities times, and make them down finally.

   Sport is an important teacher in our lives time. She can teach us we should insist in what we want, try our best to get win, and never ever give up. Sport is a link that links us and our friends. Sport is a vehicle, making us easier get what we are favor in, and taking us towards the land of dreams.

zhouchlcyUID: 2847817

改好了

凼凼55667UID: 2904147

Do you agree or disagree? Sports teach people lessons about life.

  To my way of thinking, sports play an important role in our lives. All in all, it(前面sports是复数，所以这里用they更好) makes up（词组用得不准确，改成build up更好） our health, and teaches us lessons about life in many fields. For instead（？）, sports help build up our good timbers, make us realize the meaning of friendship, and tell us how important to us with a good health.(tell us 后面应该跟一个结构完整的从句。可以改成 how important it is to be healthy)

   A good timber（用词不当）, that (which)  is fortitude character, eager to winning（win）, is primary for us to make our careers in our lives(life) time. In addition, sports can help us to build up these characters. Likely, in the sport games, we know a rule that if I insist, and winner must be mine(me). Meanwhile, with the sport game, we construct a conscience what is never give up.(表达不够地道)  Furthermore, in the sports, we can get ecstatic from the conclusions that we are the winners, and after we learn the funny(fun) to win, we(are) eager to win again to taste this feeling one more time.

   What’s more, sports also can help us(to) realize what the friendship means to us. In the sports, we can find many sport events playing with one more persons, such are basketball, baseball and forth on. In these events, we try our best to reach the(去掉) win with our teammates, （句号） during this procedure, we must trust our friends. In the end, we promote our friendship. Also, we can make new friend in the sports by playing with（去掉with） together, no matter she is teammate or opponent.

   Finally, from the sports, we can learn what a good health is important（表达不地道）. In the sports, we train our body, and make them more health and strong. With these changes, we can easily find a good body can make us more efficient in working. As well as（as well as前后一定要连接事物，不能单独放出来做连词）, a good health is a base（basic） for us to get through the hard times, or very busy but with many opportunities times, and make them down finally.

   Sport is an important teacher in our lives time. She（they） can teach us we should insist in what we want, try our best to get（去掉get） win, and never ever give up. Sport is a link that links us and our friends. Sport is a vehicle, making us easier get what we are favor in, and taking us towards the land of dreams.（结尾的修辞用得不错，学习了）

优点：文章结构清晰，论述具有层次，语言比较活泼。
不足：1，文章有些句子太中式化了，这在考场上会造成评委阅读困难。
全文句子以we做主语的占了90%，剩下的大多数都以sports做主语。这种缺乏变化的写法仅在toefl机器阅卷可能就会被发现，从而影响得分。
2，文章中词汇用得不准确，有较多语法错误，也有用词意思不符合文章。建议作者平时积累一些词汇，多加练习。
3，缺乏例证和反面论证。第二段和第三段的论证与life联系不够紧密，又偏题倾向。

欢迎回批~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1155361-1-1.html  8楼

yankee11233UID: 2764801

08.12.07NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Spending time alone is the best way to relieve stress

  It is understanderable for anyone who suffers from terrible stress at some time. As for me, I am in favor of relieving my stress by spending time with my friends. There are three general reasons, spending time alone can not help us relieve stress but enhence our stress; what's more, it is healthy to reduce stress by talk with our friend; and playing with other people sometimes is a pretty good method to relieves stress.

  At the first place, suffering from stress by oneself is not advised , and it only can make people with more stress. It is accepted widely, experts maitain, that stress is source of many mental disease. If we take into account many case of suiciding, people who kill himself may have a terrible stress and spend time alone to make him less stress.The reason people has stress is he or she has not ability to go through the mental obtacles, so it is impossible for them to relieve their stress what they have not been able to deal with by spending time alone.

  In the second place, talking with other people is indentified which is a quite good method to relieve the stress. Sometimes, the reason of we suffer stress is just we can not find out person we can communicate with freely.Nowaday, there is growing tendency for many people to go to the pysological clinic to talk with pysetologist. By what, they find it, obviously, is useful to relieve the stress and find out what the source of stress is and deal with.Also, we can talk with our friends, families by open our heart to them in order to reduce the stress feeling.

  Finally, sometims there is no denying the fact that playing, including playing games, going shopping and going to the KTV and so forth, is an absolute prety way to relieve the stress. Many experts point out that game which includs more than one person is helpful for gamer to communicate with each other, in the same time, the masks what the people usually wear in the daily life could be took off, so that they have opportunities to share their stress and reduce it by free talking.

  From what has been discuss above, I may safely draw the conclusion that the best way to reduce the stress is that sharing time with others, and open to the heart to receive others. Only in this way, people can finally get rid of the trouble what the stress makes.

ttuuttuuUID: 2299729

08.12.07NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Spending time alone is the best way to relieve stress
: K7 p3 ?& D

It is understanderable for anyone who suffers from terrible stress at some time. As for me, I am in favor of relieving my stress by spending time with my friends. There are three general reasons, spending time alone can not help us relieve stress but enhence our stress; what's more, it is healthy to reduce stress by talk with our friend; and playing with other people sometimes is a pretty good method to relieves stress.* e8 ]; \8 E% D- {7 [+ y
* e3 H. w, f, R4 ~

At the first place, suffering from stress by oneself is not advised , and it only can make people with more stress. It is accepted widely, experts maitain, that stress is source of many mental disease. If we take into account many case of suiciding, people who kill himself may have a terrible stress and spend time alone to make him less stress. The reason people has stress is he or she has not ability to go through the mental obtacles, so it is impossible for them to relieve their stress what they have not been able to deal with by spending time alone.


In the second place, talking with other people is indentified which is a quite good method to relieve the stress. Sometimes, the reason of we suffer stress is just we can not find out person we can communicate with freely. Nowaday, there is growing tendency for many people to go to the pysological clinic to talk with pysetologist. By what, they find it, obviously, is useful to relieve the stress and find out what the source of stress is and deal with. Also, we can talk with our friends, families by open our heart to them in order to reduce the stress feeling.




Finally, sometims there is no denying the fact that playing, including playing games, going shopping and going to the KTV and so forth, is an absolute prety way to relieve the stress. Many experts point out that game which includs more than one person is helpful for gamer to communicate with each other, in the same time, the masks what the people usually wear in the daily life could be took off, so that they have opportunities to share their stress and reduce it by free talking.



From what has been discuss above, I may safely draw the conclusion that the best way to reduce the stress is that sharing time with others, and open to the heart to receive others. Only in this way, people can finally get rid of the trouble what the stress makes.

typo太多 還有一些文法上的錯誤
但整體還可以  建議 可以放點個人親身例子去讓自己的論點更有說服力

yankee11233UID: 2764801

8# ttuuttuu 呀！传上去的居然是初稿··非常感谢改我的作文···不过我有个问题，我看很多教材好像一般都需要三个typo，你认为呢？

yankee11233UID: 2764801

As a Chinese old saying goes, people always has unpleased things during his most of time, and what should they do when they fail decides what we will get finally. In my view, I sit aside about remaining happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success. There are common reasons, we should not fear failure and find out the reasons lead us to fail only we can face the failure bravely, meanwhile, it would be a perfect time for us to become more strong in our heart, and with the precondition above, we would be able to get more success in our lifetime.

   It is widely accepted that failure is mother of success. We ought to face to our failure directly. By doing that, the points what bring failure to us would find. For instance, in the early nineteen century, in the Europe, French army was unpeery in a period, that it defeated the Unit army for many times. The general of Unit army, however, did not give up, he study the strategies the French used and finally find out the reasons what make him fail. In the end, he defeated the Empire of French. Meantime, there are also same kind of samples around the world.

   In the second place, the failure provides a prefect chance to exam our souls to make them become much stronger. At the same time, people who fail also have a test discussing them whether they would be able to achieve success in the end. Some people may give up when face to the failure without enough bravely, and they failure completely, never get the chance to achieve the success. There are some persons, meanwhile, who still keep happy and optimistic when they get lose. For instance, Dengxiaoping, the Chinese leader, never avowed that he fail completely in many times when he was defeated in the political activities. With these characters what he kept, he finally became the Chinese leader, and realized the plan what he made for China development.
   From what has been discussed above, I may safely draw the conclusion that to keep happy and optimistic in the failure would be able to help us find out the main reasons produce us failure and exam our quality of soul. Success, however, would not give us these valuable things, except happy and contented. All in all, to be a people who want to do a lot of great things in his lifetime, what thought he or she must keep is never be negative when fail, and never be arrogant when succeed.

yankee11233UID: 2764801

10.5 作文

Nowadays, there is not any period that the advertising has the more influence in our eating habits than other time advertising used be. As for me, however, I can not agree that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits. There are common reasons, first, I do not think advertising has such great influences can effect people's eating habits; second, advertising do not have to spread the unhealthy messages; third, the steps what we are living with, is possible main cause unhealthy eating habits, not advertising.

  In the first place, even though the view that the industry of advertising has much developed than any period in history with the media is being hold by many people，there is little evidence showing that advertising has such great influence can effect the people eating habits. For instance, every normal person who has the ability to make discussion can not be effected easily, except that he regards it suited for him sublimely. What's more, when come to advertising, most of people have unpleasant associated with it, and defend them. This view what the audiences keep must weak the affection advertising have.

  In the second place, there is no denying the fact that advertising did not must bring unhealthy messages to audiences. Meanwhile, as I can get, advertising even teaches people to hold healthy eating habits, such public-spirided ads. For instance, some advertising tell people should not eating irregular which will provide them highly risk of getting the diseases. Even some commercial ads also teach people how to keep healthy eating habits, just like some ads about medical ads.

  In the third place, I hold the opinion that the fast step of the modern people lives may plays the most main role of making people have unhealthy eating habits. Nowadays, the fast step of living make many people would not be able to get enough to time to eating, which bring them about irregular eating. For instance, the employees who work in the electronic companies can not the regular eating time for they must supervise the proceed of electronic power.

  From what has been discussed above, I can safely draw the conclusion that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits. Meanwhile, the fast step of the modern lives and the advanced in the modern society and industry play the most main role in unhealthy eating habits people get.

wttyuseUID: 2755832

修改1007