norra的独立写作作文贴

njuslsUID: 2757819

Nowadays it is wildly widely hold opinion that our education system should be fixed in china ,especially for the universities . Increasing numbers of people think that students in the universities should take basic science courses weather they major in science or the majors related to this. As to me , I strongly convinced this statement ,due to that it can enlarge students’ knowledge areas, improve their abilities of thinking and made them can easily communicated with students who majored in science.(时态有点混乱） make them more easily to commnicate with students who major in science.
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0 |( l. ?' W+ ]% h; D. ^, k    To begin with ,students ,easpecially those who major in humanity or social science ,should take more basic science courses ,because it will let them  get to know more knowledges knowledge of math ,physics ,chemistry or some relative courses. Many great minds of the humanity or social science all（有点矛盾，去了吧） have the knowledge background of science. & e) A8 T$ l3 I6 e$ g6 ^! P

% _/ A' g' r% i2 C# v6 `    Furthermore, student who do not concentrate on science study some courses of science can  improve their abilities of thinking, one of my roommates ,who major in literature, have take some classes from the statistics ,and the thinking method surprised him , and inprire inspired him to composed compose some new poets.
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     In the end , if you want to communicated with the students who majored majoring in science, you had better got some basic knowledge of their major, or the communicate may face up to some obstacles because their majors were very hard to understand. It is hard to image that you can discuss some experiments which they take condunt if you do not know what is hypohsis or data collecting and the result discussion what the hypothesis is, how the date have been collected, and what the discussion result is.
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5 i* |5 q- C3 A+ u3 |    To sum up, students should take some basic science courses regardless of their field of concentration, that which can let them learn more knowledge , change their way of thinking and prove assist them to communicate with students studying science and engneering more easily. Of course ,that not means it does not mean they should take many other courses and give up their major courses ,If that influences their major course study ,they should think twice about that.

主谓一致和时态问题需要多注意呀
另外不要刻意地套句型，有的时候句子有点支离破碎
还有论点要再充实一下啊 感觉每个论点的展开不够透彻，言之无物
第一次改作文 包涵！！

norraUID: 2782571

10月2日交
08.12.07NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Spending time alone is the best way to relieve stress

    The increasing stress is a kind of spreading virus in modern times. Most of the people would be influenced by it . Some students failed in the final term exams , some staffs punished by the boss ,and some parents bothered by their kids , all of them can feel the stress. Then how to ,relive it ?As to me , I strongly agree that we should spending some time alone to relive it. Due to that can make us clam down , give us a relax and let us have time for future preparation.

    Firstly, many people who got some pressure prefer spending time alone can let them, feel safe and comfortable .One of my best friend have told me that when he is alone ,he  would feel extremely clam. Secondly ,when they are alone ,they can have a sleep or do something they want to do ,such as cooking or set in the safe watch TV show ,that will make them relax. In the end ,if people who have stress can be let alone .They would have more time to remind the lessons they have been thought , and find some ways for the future. they might can design a plan for the coming days and full prepare for it , and they might have a new success , come out form the shadows of the stress.

    May be some one will argue that if we got pressure ,we’d better find some friends to have a conversation ,that can relieve the stress. Therefore, I would give a doubt on that .Chatting with friends take a lot of time and waste a lot of energy . Moreover ,we need to find the right fiend to told them our troubles ,or we may be sneered.

      To sum up ,people need to be alone when they got stress, on account that will make them clam ,give them time to relax and prepare for the future.

顺水飘扬UID: 2715101

10月2日交
: o$ B  b  M+ f1 W# N08.12.07NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Spending time alone is the best way to relieve stress" n4 o! c# c5 Q% x4 {5 n* C

' R6 A2 l) X$ w' N& s    The increasing stress is a kind of spreading virus in modern times. Most of the people would be influenced by it . Some students failed in the final term exams , some staffs punished by the boss ,and some parents bothered by their kids , all of them can feel the stress. Then how to ,relive it ?As to me , I strongly agree that we should spending some time alone to relive it. Due to that can make us clam down , give us a relax and let us have time for future preparation.
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0 P  f# S& L; C$ E    Firstly, many people who got some pressure prefer spending time alone can let them, feel safe and comfortable .One of my best friend（friends） have（has）
told me that when he is alone ,he  would feel extremely clam（再加一句说明这样可以帮助他缓解压力）. Secondly ,when they are alone ,they can have a sleep or do something （whatever）they want to do ,such as cooking or set（setting） in the safe（sofa？） watch（watching） TV show ,that（which） will make them relax. In the end ,if people who have stress can be let alone .They would have more time to remind the lessons they have been thought , and find some ways for the future. they might can（重复了） design a plan for the coming days and full prepare for it , and they might have a new success , come （coming）out form（of） the shadows of the stress.
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    May be some one will argue that if we got pressure ,we’d better find some friends to have a conversation ,that can relieve the stress. Therefore, I would give a doubt on that .Chatting with friends take a lot of time and waste a lot of energy . Moreover ,we need to find the right fiend to told them（去掉） our troubles ,or we may be sneered. 4 n) ?. r- X& E+ |; u5 m
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      To sum up ,people need to be alone when they got stress, on account that will make them clam ,give them time to relax and prepare for the future.

论据不是很有说服力，最好举出两个详细的例子分两段写。要想说stay alone是最好的方式，就要说出这个方式它的优势，别的方式替代不了它的地方。同一个问题，stay alone 就能缓解压力，而其他方式不能帮助缓解压力，应该举些这样的例子。
有些词和句子的结构写的也不是很准备~~再接再厉 加油

norraUID: 2782571

谢谢你的认真修改：）


18# 顺水飘扬

haoannaUID: 2582245

已改

norraUID: 2782571

10月5日交

  09.01.17 NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

    In a famous book which name is a Tale of Two Cities ,the author Charles Dickens  wrote "It was the best of times ,it was the worst of times." As to me ,it is neither best times nor worst times, it is just the advertising's times. Advertisements like a kind of spreading virus, most people have been influenced by it .When  come to its results , an increasing number of people  concerned that whether it is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits .In view of the power of advertising , I fully agree with the statement that it is the most important cause.

   
     Without advertising ,the children would not lured by the color appearance of the snacks. Without advertising ,the children would not learn the kids in the TV advertisements),eat too much differentcandies and other fast foods, so that they can eat more dinner. Without advertising , these children would not to ask more extra money to buy those rubbish foods.

      As I just mentioned above, the advertisements insert into the TV programs and websites, provide virous kinds of colorful snacks, cadies or other faster foods,and tell them it is taste by show them some happy kids. This absolutely  is a kind of lay. Most of the foods they offered have very high calories.The chilren eat them ,then do not want any dinner, and ask more money to purchase them.Hence ,the unhealthy eating habits formed.This is a disaster.Effective measures shoul be taken to stop this.

      In conclusion , the fast spreading advertisng provide some snacks, cadies and other faster foods ,and tey their best to attrct the children's attention ,in order to sell those high calorie foods to them.Lead them formed som unhealthy eating habits. There is no denying , we need to say :advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

jcf2008UID: 2681015

In a famous book which name is a Tale of Two Cities, the author Charles Dickens wrote "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." As to me, it is neither best times nor worst times, it is just the advertising's times. Advertisements like a kind of spreading virus, most people have been influenced by it. (Like a spreading virus, advertisements have influenced many people greatly.)When come to its results, an increasing number of people concerned (that) whether it is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits .In view of the power of advertising, I fully agree with the statement that it is the most important cause.


Without advertising, the children would not lured by the color appearance of the snacks. Without advertising, the children would not learn(中式英语了~) the kids in the TV advertisements, eat too much different candies and other fast foods, so that they can eat more dinner. Without advertising, these children would not to ask more extra money to buy those rubbish foods.* @6 R' v9 l  s7 S/ x

As I just mentioned above, the advertisements insert into the TV programs and websites, provide various kinds of colorful snacks, cadies or other faster foods, and tell them(指代不清) it is taste by show them some happy kids. This absolutely is a kind of lay. Most of the foods they offered have very high calories. The children eat them, then do not want any dinner, and ask more money to purchase them. Hence, the unhealthy eating habits formed. This is a disaster. Effective measures should be taken to stop this.

In conclusion, the fast spreading advertising provide some snacks, cadies and other faster foods, and tey their best to attrct the children's attention, in order to sell those high calorie foods to them. Lead them formed som unhealthy eating habits. There is no denying, we need to say: advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.
文章句式和用词较单一，例子有些绝对。有些拼写错误和单复数要注意下，还有论证不太有说服力。还需要加油哈~

ttuuttuuUID: 2299729

09.01.17 NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits./ d' I6 D/ d0 m

In a famous book which name is a Tale of Two Cities ,the author Charles Dickens  wrote "It was the best of times ,it was the worst of times." As to me, it is neither best times nor worst times, it is just the advertising's times. Advertisements like a kind of spreading virus, most people have been influenced by it .When  come to its results , an increasing number of people  concerned that whether it is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits .In view of the power of advertising , I fully agree with the statement that it is the most important cause.' Z& ^! Y' C2 F+ t6 ?
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Without advertising ,the children would not lured by the color appearance of the snacks. Without advertising ,the children would not learn the kids in the TV advertisements),eat too much differentcandies and other fast foods, so that they can eat more dinner. Without advertising , these children would not to ask more extra money to buy those rubbish foods.

As I just mentioned above, the advertisements insert into the TV programs and websites, provide virous kinds of colorful snacks, cadies or other faster foods, and tell them it is taste by show them some happy kids. This absolutely is a kind of lay. Most of the foods they offered have very high calories. The chilren eat them, then do not want any dinner, and ask more money to purchase them. Hence ,the unhealthy eating habits formed. This is a disaster. Effective measures shoul be taken to stop this.6 S3 ]& ~; _+ B& e  i7 b
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      In conclusion , the fast spreading advertisng provide some snacks, cadies and other faster foods ,and tey their best to attrct the children's attention ,in order to sell those high calorie foods to them. Lead them formed som unhealthy eating habits. There is no denying, we need to say :advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

Typo多了點，開頭與結論句都寫的不錯，
建議 練習三點寫法

norraUID: 2782571

10月7日作文，见附件，求重批。

葛佳UID: 2725332

10月7日交
09.03.21NA    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To remain happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success

   Nowadays an increasing number of people are beginning to concern a problem: We have to meet some failures in our daily life, and some times we gain success. Hence what is more important? To remain happy and optimistic when we fail or achieving success?  In my standpoint of view , to remain happy and optimistic is more essential than achieving success, on account of that on the one hand we have to face up to some failure ,and we must not to be beaten down by them ,on the other hand ,we can thought a lesson and learn more life experiences from the failures.

    In one aspect, most of the people would meet a great amount of failures, may be 【Maybe】much more than their getting success. So it is more crucial for us to remain happy and optimistic. Couldn’t just think about that before Edison invented the lights drive by electric he has failed nearly thousands of times? Couldn’t we just, based on our ration, get to know that if we remain in unhappy and can not recover from the failure, our life will become a messy and meaningless? Couldn’t we just consider that if we can not face the challenge, our beloved parents and dear friends will get a heart broken? So we need to know this, and try to be mentally strong.[ 排比句用的好，但是有点长， 不让一读懂]

   In the other aspect, if we achieved a success, we might become proud and do not want learn more. But if we failed, we might pause for a while and learn many things from it. As for me ,I failed in the exam ,then I got to know where is my shortcomings of my study., and what kind of knowledge I have to learn in the future. I find my failure in history exam is due to that I just memory the historic issues and pay little attention to study some theories. So I might get a chance to perfect my knowledge structure and improve my ability of learning. 【加上总结这段的句子】
     
In conclusion , the failures is a kind of tough things often take place in our life, learn to deal with it in a positive way will benefit us, and from the failure we can learn more experiences. Consequently To remain happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success。

总体写的不错。

asamsunUID: 2884772

改好了，呵呵～

norraUID: 2782571

10月12日交

09.03.29 do you agree or disagree, students will not use printed books anymore.

    Nowadays increasing number of news are beginning pay attention to the fact that with the developing of the electric teaching equipments, such as computers , the printed books will gradually replaced by them. Students may will not use printed books anymore.

   As for me, I fully agree that statement, due to following reasons: firstly, the use of computers is becoming more and more popular; secondly, the price of electronic teaching equipments is lowering down and becoming smaller; thirdly, the use computers for teaching is more convenient.

   To begin with, computers are becoming more and more popular .In the universities, nearly every student have got a computer. It is a common phenomenon that the teachers give their assignments on the internet, when the students finished their homework, they also upload to the internet for teacher's checking. When they feel tired, they watch films and play games on the computer. So they need computers everyday.


  Furthermore, the price of computers is lower enough for nearly most of the families to afford, and become smaller too, with the development of the technology, they will becoming more lower in the future. In the past, books still been used by the teachers and students due to that computers are too expensive and heavy. Hence, nowadays, those computers’ price is lower enough for ordinary people and the invention of laptop made us can easily carry it everywhere.

  In the end, teachers and students find that when use computers to teach is more convenient. Many contents of the books have been transferred into electronic resources, easy for checking and references. For example, in the days I just use books for study, if I want to check some research topics ,I have to go to the library and check it in hundreds of books, but now I have a computer ,then if I want check something ,I just need login the electronic library of my universities and type into some words. Then the results come out and showed on the screen. Students can use computers to show multi-media assignments such as PPT and video, that will made their assignment more wonderful.

  In conclusion, on account that computers becoming more and more popular, both the price and the weight of it lowering down, and they are more convenient. Students will not use printed books anymore.

norraUID: 2782571

11.13,求重拍

norraUID: 2782571

11.18,求重拍