【10.22】阿猫的作文题

野猫胡同UID: 2453758

2010年10月7日 周四：

独立：

11 环境 The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline and electricity. 070811

综合： TPO11

Sustainable development has been a heat topic lasting for years. The China government has set it as a national policy. Besides, the international communities have also struggled divergent ways to fix out the problem. Although there is still a long journey to go, charging more money for the municipal fees is obviously not a sensible way.

Initially, such energy issues should be solved from the stem instead of focusing on the surface. Of course, instant outcome is bound to show that raising the prices of essential energy may have sort of effects to ease the energy loss, nevertheless it can't be a fabulous method to control the tough issue. It seems that the affluent families will be never afraid of paying more other than deceasing their life quality.

Subsequently, to those who are not able to afford, people with low income may have counteracted on the policy, I mean, the negative emotions to the government. How dare the government ask more for people who cannot even meet his indispensible life demand? As for those, so called environmental friendly affairs is really a tiny pin. Food
or good living condition, there is no doubt that they will pick up food as the first option. Others stuffs, in their mind, what is government's task, has been really out of their reach.

In the end,
other measures can be taken to save the energy consumption. Technology improve, for example, can be a leading solution, however, it is too gigantic a topic for the ordinary to deliberate. Leaning heavily on people's ideology on such tense questions is much more effective. Simply, close the windows when you are air-conditioned or cover the kettle, when you are heating. That is totally enough. Since there is a little conserving in a family, there is more in the whole society.

To sum up, everyone has the right to enjoy a better city and better life. None of them are readily to see the sky covered with dark smog, rivers filled with contaminations, and immersed in a bad smell. Step on the green journey.

JohnnyyUID: 2923505

Sustainable development has been a heat topic(曾经有老师推荐用burning issue) lasting for years. The China government has set it as a national policy. Besides, the international communities have also struggled divergent ways to fix out（fix out不确定有这个意思，去掉out吧） the problem. Although there is still a long journey to go, charging more money for the municipal fees is obviously not a sensible way.
Initially, such energy issues should be solved from the stem（root） instead of focusing on the surface. Of course, an instant outcome is bound to show that raising the prices of essential energy may have（has） sort of effects to ease the energy loss, nevertheless it can't be a fabulous method to control the tough issue. It seems that the affluent families will be（删） never afraid of paying more other than deceasing（decreasing） their life quality.
Subsequently, to those who are not able to afford,（没懂，建议改成affordable） people with low income may have counteracted on（删） the policy, I mean, the negative emotions to the government. How dare the government ask more for people who cannot even meet his indispensible life demand?（顺序似乎不对ask sb for sth） As for those, so called environmental friendly affairs is really a tiny pin. Food
" r1 T/ C: r: _% eor good living condition, there is no doubt that they will pick up food as the first option. Others stuffs, in their mind, what（which） is government's tasks, has（have） been really out of their reach.
第二点有点乱，最好能继续说明不能节约能源的原因
In the end, other measures can be taken to save the energy consumption. Technology improve（improvement）, for example, can be a leading solution, however, it is a too gigantic a（删） topic for the ordinary（形式不对吧） to deliberate. Leaning heavily on people's ideology on such tense questions is much more effective. Simply, close the windows when you are air-conditioned or cover the kettle when you are heating. That is totally enough. Since there is a little conserving（conservation） in a family, there is more in the whole society.
To sum up, everyone has the right to enjoy a better city and a better life. None of them are readily to see the sky covered with dark smog, rivers filled with contaminations, and immersed in a bad smell. Step on the green journey.

总体来说还不错了，第一次改作文呵，不太会改，如果有不对的地方先说sorry了。加油咯

野猫胡同UID: 2453758

Sustainable development has been a heat topic(曾经有老师推荐用burning issue) lasting for years. The China government has set it as a national policy. Besides, the international communities have also s ...
Johnnyy 发表于 2010-10-8 00:05

不好意思嘎。贴的时候太急了，忘记在word上先检查拼写了~

同学说写的太空了~自己改了一版。

Notwithstanding, no one can deny the fact that sustainable development has been increasingly hit worldwide topic, we should be aware of the intensified severed environment. Providing that measures should be taken to fix the problems, a considerable proportion of people assert that there is nothing but charging more money to ease the energy urge. From my perspective, it is obviously not a sensible solution.


1.
Initially, it may be not an alarm bell for the wealthy, who are willing to pay more money in order to pursue/forge high living quality. In contrast to the wage they could earn, it seems an insignificant sum of money for them to spend on the municipal fees, such as water, gas and electricity. If you are a golden collar, struggling every day in the cunning commercial world, how can you spare your precise time on the details? Maybe you can even rarely notice it. In other words, despite the expenditure, since their life style, they are supposed to prefer a vehicle to a bike.

2.
Subsequently, people with low income have no capacity to spare money on the utilities. Generally speaking, if I am the one can only profit $400 per monthly, I would like to spend every penny on the edge. Certainly, it can be a disaster for me, in case I had to expend much higher proportion of my consumption on the fee, which has been relatively a burden. Therefore, I should turn to the supermarket, which offers much cheaper food, reduce the frequency on going out for dinner and be wary on my job.

3.
Finally, there must be more sound steps to take other than surging in the currency world. For example, the companies, who has taken a large piece of cake on the energy market, should introduce regenerative energy, such as energy produced by wind, water and tide, instead of nonrenewable energy like charcoals and oil, which also lead to a serious environmental issue. Meanwhile, people themselves can do some easy job to compensate the loss as well. Simply, close the window, when the room is air-conditioned. Everyone is able to reach it.

To sum up, although it receives instant feedback on conserving the energy, prices increasing fails to solve the problem from the stem. It helps to stimulate people, but hardly evoking people’s deliberation on the protection of the resources. there is still a long way to go.

taotaodekuaile8UID: 2843043

用了很多托福单词，写得有些太泛了...想写的东西太深刻反而不好掌握
表达上很流畅
欢迎回批~~~~

bearjeanUID: 2825915

我觉得改完的很好诶！！！还是有点点语病，像“Maybe you can even rarely notice it”，我觉得直接说“maybe you rarely notice it”就可以了...

野猫胡同UID: 2453758

米你的链接。。

野猫胡同UID: 2453758

2010年10月7日 周四：
独立：
11 环境 The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline and electricity. 070811

Notwithstanding, no one can deny the fact that sustainable development has been increasingly hit/burning worldwide topic, we should not ignore the intensified severe environment. Providing that measures should be taken to fix the problems, a considerable proportion of people assert that charging more sums of money for the fees can ease the current urge. From my perspective, it is obviously not a sensible solution.

Since the society consists of people from all works of life, and then an agreement proposed by a government or an institution may demonstrate divergent discussion.

As for the wealthy, on one hand, it may not be an alarm bell for them, for the reason that they are willing to magnify the part of money in order to purse high life quality. In contrast to the wage they earn, the municipal fees, such as water, gas and electricity, is an insignificant expense. If you are a golden collar, struggling in the competitive/cunning commercial market/circle/field/world, how can you spare your precise time on such detail affairs? You may rarely notice it. In other words, despite the expenditure, since their statue in the society,
they are inclined to be catered to by a fancy vehicle with massive emission.

Nevertheless, people with comparatively low income, on the other hand, are not able to burden/survive in the minute outlay fluctuation over the utilities . If you profit only $400 per month, certainly would you like to distribute every penny on the edge. However, such "effective" way is bound to render that you have to turn to the supermarket, who offers cheaper food, to reduce the frequency to go out for dinner and to be wary on your job, which means you have to, unfairly, transfer this amount of money to
the incoming bills/other commodities.

In case, there could be sounder step to take other than surging in the currency ocean. For one thing, companies, who have taken a large piece of cake on the energy market, should introduce regenerative energy, such as power supplied by tide, wind and water, instead of continuously consuming nonrenewable raw materials, for instance, more efforts in the mining field. For another thing, people can do easy job to compensate the loss as well. Simply, commuting to the citycenter is the way, i assume, everyone can reach.

literally, , although it receives instant feedback, the strategy like price-raising, believably, fails to solve the problem from the stem. It goes without saying it does do help to stimulate people’s awareness, yet hardly does it evokes people’s deliberation on the protection of the resource.

自己改的第四版。>< 求高人~

野猫胡同UID: 2453758

2010年10月8日 周五:

独立

12 技术与进步 Has Technology made children less creative than they were in the past 080504

Recent research has demonstrated that as happy as the children in the 21th century to have divergent entertainment, but they, in the meanwhile, are deprived of the creation with the arrival of the novel technology. Children are supposed to immersed in the brilliant world when they are growing up other than being intruded by the concrete technology. Literally, I am fully for the conclusion.

To begin with, in contrast to their parents, kids have lost the interest to make toys by themselves, for the reason that it is an easy approach for them to purchase anything they are in want of in the Toy Store. For instant, the burning film, Harry Potter, drives me mad. I would like to suit myself with such stuffs like magic sticks, glasses and boots. It takes me only 30 minutes to go magic house in the city to be their owner.

Subsequently, the young have more focuses on the electronic devices like PSP, iPods and, of course, laptops, one of the significant of them. You cannot deny the fact that those high-tech devices do help to render us an easy and comfortable life, however, those have attracted children's attention at home. They are restricted in such a limited place, maybe just a table, that hardly can they assimilate the latest information in the reality.

Meanwhile, the stubborn technology fails to teach them the way to get along with other, which could be a golden star for one to survive in the jungle. Despite it is the innovation that combines the intelligence of considerable people, the technology cannot enhance the kid's communication skills. Such personal contact can merely learn in the daily life.

As a matter of fact, the burgeoning newly technology is not so good as the literal imagination. The children should go outside, and pick up the lesson of creativity in the natural world.

补自己昨天的~><! ...时差啊时差~

野猫胡同UID: 2453758

2010年10月9日 周六：独立：3 k B/ t- m9 l8 ~' H4 t 13 广告媒体 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is a waste of time and money because customers already know what they want.（预测题） 07.12.08 CN It goes without say that the advertisement can successfully call attention to the service or the product you want to sell. It covers such strategies like marketing, media, money and message. In accordance to the recent research, a considerable proportion of people, however, assert if advertising really plays it its role? Or another approach to time and money consumption. From my perspective, I fully stand for the majority. Admittedly, advertisement has it positive effects. It fills in the gap between the customers and producers and, therefore, bridge the relationship between that of products, which means these promotion has left impression the variable customer who, rarely to be satisfied, always swift to the novel products. Once the cunning company enhances the frequency of the advertising appearance, people may directly rush to the store and bring the item home with no hesitation because of the curiosity towards the perfect descriptions in the advertisement. However, although , thanks to its effect, updating product information is available from door to door, it does have its limitation, for the reason, that the tough customers are inclined to be more interested in the various characteristic of the advertisement rather than the product itself. For instance, it is commonsense for the company to adopt a fabulous young lady as its brand speaker. In the short film, the beauty is dancing on the beach, wearing bikini and showing off her perfect figure. I suppose the most young man would be attracted, but no one would notice the shampoo the advertisement want to promote. There is no doubt that the advertising depicts a picturesque frame of work, some factors of which, unfortunately, distracts people from the key point. Despite the interest of the product, whether the customer would put those items into their basket is another thing. Of course, the destination of the cunning company tricks, advertising, is to persuade the customers to pay for their merchandise. Other commercial tactics, like target customers, the name and the slogan of the products, the media to release, even the position on the shelf, have interaction on the quantity of sale. When I go to the supermarket, normally I would like to choose the chocolate whose packing is colorful and which I can easy to reach. I mean, I hate bowing to the floor and pick up the one on the ground floor. I think most people would like to get the something parallel to their eye level. So, the advertisement fails to tell all.

S酱UID: 2883188

8# 野猫胡同

12 技术与进步 Has Technology made children less creative than they were in the past 080504

Recent research has demonstrated that as happy as the children in the 21th century to have divergent entertainment貌似没看见重句的谓语在哪里～, but they, in the meanwhile, are deprived of the creation with the arrival of the novel technology. Children are supposed to immersed in the brilliant world when they are growing up other than being intruded by the concrete technology. Literally, I am fully for the conclusion.

To begin with, in contrast to their parents, kids have lost the interest to make toys by themselves, for the reason that it is an easy approach for them to purchase anything they are in want of in the Toy Store. For instant, the burning film, Harry Potter, drives me mad. I would like to suit myself with such stuffs like magic sticks, glasses and boots. It takes me only 30 minutes to go magic house in the city to be their owner.不自己做玩具和商店能买到玩具，貌似和创造力没联系起来～觉得可以先说之前自己做玩具提升创造力之类的

Subsequently, the young have more focuses on the electronic devices like PSP, iPods and, of course, laptops, one of the most significant of them. You cannot deny the fact that those high-tech devices do help to render us an easy and comfortable life, however, those have attracted children's attention at home. They are restricted in such a limited place, maybe just a table, that hardly can they assimilate the latest information in the reality.

Meanwhile, the stubborn technology fails to teach them (our children)the way to get along with other, which could be a golden star for one to survive in the jungle. Despite it is the innovation that combines the intelligence of considerable people(觉得这句因果关系有点奇怪，是现有了idea lead to innovation 而不是一个创新主动去把其他ideas结合起来), the technology cannot enhance the kid's communication skills. Such personal contact can merely learn in the daily life.觉得还是和孩子联系少，而且先说技术不能教育孩子去和别人沟通，因此对孩子创造力有影响，觉得逻辑有点不够顺～

As a matter of fact, the burgeoning newly technology is not so good as the literal imagination. The children should go outside, and pick up the lesson of creativity in the natural world.

话说我之前不知道原来是一组的呵呵，谢谢你的修改，于是赶快回改来了

语言和用词都非常好，觉得对单词的理解很好也用的不错，但是例子和论述方式需要加强点～

野猫胡同UID: 2453758

10# S酱

0 0.我朋友帮我看作文。。总结下来。。说。。好像出问题的是我的写作。。不是英语。。
话说。。这个应该怎么提高呀。。去破题么~？

S酱UID: 2883188

11# 野猫胡同

对啊～就是参考阅读文章，先提出一个观点围绕着它写～怎么正反举例和引用名人的话来证明它～就是论述方式啦－ －

JohnnyyUID: 2923505

It goes without say that the advertisement can successfully call attention to the service or the product you want to sell. It covers such strategies like marketing, media, money and message(为啥money也是策略？). In accordance to the recent research, a considerable proportion of people, however, assert that if advertising really plays it its role? Or another approach to time and money consumption（这句好像有点问题） From my perspective, I fully stand for the majority. Admittedly, advertisement has it positive effects. It fills in the gap between the customers and producers and, therefore, bridge the relationship between(在什么之间建立联系？后面好像没说清楚，) that of products, which means these promotion has left impression the variable customer who, rarely to be satisfied, always swift to the novel products. Once the cunning company enhances the frequency of the advertising appearance, people may directly rush to the store and bring the item home with no hesitation because of the curiosity towards the perfect descriptions in the advertisement. However, although ,（这两个在一起有别扭，把However删掉简洁些）thanks to its effect, updating product information is available from door to door, it does have its limitation, for the reason, that the tough（是想说什么型的顾客呢？） customers are inclined to be more interested in the various characteristic of（which） the advertisement publicizes rather than the product itself. For instance, it is commonsense for the company to adopt a fabulous young lady as its brand speaker. In the short film, the beauty is dancing on the beach, wearing bikini and showing off her perfect figure. I suppose the most of young man would be attracted, but no one would notice the shampoo the（which）the advertisement want to promote. There is no doubt that the advertising depicts a picturesque frame of work, some factors of which, unfortunately, distracts people from the key point. Despite the interest of the product is promoted, whether the customer would put those items into their basket is another thing. Of course, the destination of the cunning company tricks, advertising, is to persuade the customers to pay for their merchandise. Other commercial tactics, like target customers, the name and the slogan of the products, the media to release, even the position on the shelf, have an interaction on the quantity of sale. When I go to the supermarket, normally I would like to choose the chocolate whose packing is colorful and which I can easy to reach. I mean, I hate bowing to the floor and pick up the one on the ground floor. I think most people would like to get the something parallel to their eye level. So, the advertisement fails to tell all.
词句都用的不错呢。最好能分分段，最后在把观点总结一下这样就更清晰了
前一部分说的有点长了，导致后半部分说缺点的时候不够充分。（一开始没看到你的链接。。迟到了~）