fletch新托福作文贴

ProsUID: 2945841

1111的独立。

fletch revised by Pros.doc (24 KB, 下载次数: 10)

2010-11-13 19:07:58 上传

下载次数: 10

fletchUID: 2671788

fletch 11月13日交
A lower-paying job with shorter hours that would give you more vacation time is better than a high-paying job that would give you less vacation time?

Along with the steady resurgence of our global economy, people start againt to show their concern about choosing jobs. Still, long before the economic crisis, there is a long-time controversy as to whether people should choose jobs with high payment but longer working hours or jobs with low income but longer resting hours. Some people argue that they prefer to work less in order to enjoy their life better, while for my part, I firmly assert that we should rest less but gain more.

Initially, opting a job with good payment can really bring us a large number of benefits. Specifically, it really helps us deal with our practical living problems. Nowadays in China, people are suffering from many serious problems, among which there are two typical ones: the first one is that the price of daily food that people live on is rising higher and higher. According to a survey reported on the Internet, in Guangzhou, in November, the price of garlic and ginger has rised up to 20yuan and 18yuan per kilogram, increasing 95.8% and 89.5% compared with the price of those last year this moment. Another is that people can hardly afford to buy a house, even a very small house. People who just start to work usually earn less than 2000yuan per month, while the regualr price of housing per square meter in Beijing is about 20000yuan. That is to say if these people donot get a raise on their salary, they have to work at 30 years to find a very small house as their home, regardless of the rapid increasing tendency in price of houses now. Therefore, taking our living and housing into consideration a job with great income is now regarded as indispensable.

Furthermore, although when people choose to work with good income, they have to give up much of their resting time as a compensation, if they arrange their left time well, they can still live very happily. After getting a busy job, they may hardly dinner with their family every day, but they can manage to have meals with one or two times a week. Besides, by doing that, they will know more about how significant family bonding is to them. The high-paying job may keep them work day and night. However, people are able to find at least two chances to travel around and release their pressure a year. I think if they make full use of these chances. That’s enough. Moreover, most of them are young, after making great efforts and being successful, they can enjoy more free time in their later life without worring about money.

All in all, from the discussion presented above, I firmly contend that people shoud hunt for a good-paying job with less vacation instead of a job with low income but more free time, when they take all the practical factors and their future happiness into consideration.

FannieHsuUID: 2861996

改好了，希望及时回改，谢谢

fletchUID: 2671788

By Fletch 11月16日交
Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country.

Along with the rapid growth of our technology and economy, people start to shift their focus from avoiding starving to know more about the country they live in or they appreciate. Among various ways of achieving this goal, people are trapped in a long-term controversy as to whether visiting museum is the best way to get acquainted with a country. Some individuals argue that going to museums is solely the best way to accomplish their aim, while, from my point of view, touring museums is a wise choice but not the wisest one.

Admittedly, as we all know, museums are wonderful place where people will know a lot about a country and enjoy its diverse culture, impressive history and rich arts. British Museum, which is maybe the largest one in this world, provides visitors all-round about but only British but also the world culture and arts. Visitors to the museum are all amazed by the magnificence of culture and history of UK. If one wants to comprehend the development of the science and industry in USA, he could tour the Museum of Science and Industry located in Chicago, in the Unites States, where a detailed scientific progression of this country is presented widely. However, so far, all this we know through being in a museum is something regarding the past. How about something updating?

Supposing that people want to know what has occured recently in a country, reading newspaper s and magazines is a sensible option. Reading New York Times, we know that Barack Obama was elected as the 44th president of the United States, the first African American president; the London Times told us David Cameron came to the office in 2010 as one of the youngest Prime Ministers in the history of Britain; also China Daily reported that World Expo had just completed its mission in 2010, in Shanghai, after the 2008 Beijing Olymplic Games. Provided that people expect to know ordinary people’s real life, the majority of the country, they could go to visit their home, talk to them, even stay with them for several days. An old saying goes: “one who fails to reach the Great Wall is not a hero ”. Therefore,  if people do not pay a visit to the local people they may hardly understanding what they are interested in, how they live and why they are so different. Besides watching TV and surfing the Internet are other great choices for a person to acquaint himself with a country, which is more time-saving, less money-consuming, and more rapid.

In consequence, as has been discussed above, although we find many merits of visiting museums in order to know a country, it is not unnatural that reading newspaper and magazines, visiting local family, watching TV and surfing the Internet are equally significant options to apprehend a country.

S酱UID: 2883188

12# fletch

Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country.1 y& r# G/ Q! n+ X% y6 ]$ g9 c
. [4 Q. ]9 {( m& [$ N5 o# F
Along with the rapid growth of our technology and economy, people start to shift their focus from avoiding starving to knowing
more about the country they live in or they appreciate.(个人觉得对饥饿的关注转移到想了解其他国家没有关联，就是从任何逻辑上面都联系不到一起的感觉，于是建议换个别的) Among various ways of achieving this goal, people are trapped in a long-term controversy as to whether visiting museum is the best way to get acquainted with a country. Some individuals argue that going to museums is solely the best way to accomplish their aim, while, from my point of view, touring museums is a wise choice but not the wisest one.) B5 B" `2 A; ]) p  Y

Admittedly, as we all know, museums are wonderful place where people will know（could learn/gain） a lot about a country and enjoy its diverse culture, impressive history and rich arts. British Museum, which is maybe the largest one in this world, provides visitors all-round about but only British but also(???) the world culture and arts. Visitors to the museum are all amazed by the magnificence of the culture and history of UK. If one wants to comprehend the development of the science and industry in USA, he could tour the Museum of Science and Industry located in Chicago, in the Unites States, where a detailed scientific progression of this country is presented widely. However, so far, all this we know through being(这个成分有点不大理解) in a museum is something regarding the past. How about something updating?

Supposing that people want to know what has occured recently in a country, reading newspapers and magazines is a sensible option. Reading New York Times, we know that Barack Obama was elected as the 44th president of the United States, the first African American president; the London Times told us David Cameron came to the office in 2010 as one of the youngest Prime Ministers in the history of Britain; also China Daily reported that World Expo had just completed its mission in 2010, in Shanghai, after the 2008 Beijing Olymplic Games. Provided（这个也没懂为啥这么用，为啥是过去式？） that people expect to know ordinary people’s real life, the majority of the country, they could go to visit their home, and talk to them, or even stay with them for several days（注意连词，不然动词都需要ing）. An old saying goes: “one who fails to reach the Great Wall is not a hero ”. Therefore,  if people do not pay a visit to the local people they may hardly understanding(understand) what they are interested in, how they live and why they are so different. Besides watching TV and surfing the Internet are other great choices for a person to acquaint himself with a country, which is more time-saving, less money-consuming, and more rapid.9 c4 X' K! F% z6 q* H6 ?) e

In consequence, as has been discussed above, although we find many merits of visiting museums in order to know a country, it is not unnatural that reading newspaper and magazines, visiting local family, watching TV and surfing the Internet are equally significant options to apprehend a country.

整体来说写的不错，用词用句都比较地道，但是有的句子感觉有点太刻意为之的感觉，有点别扭～

fletchUID: 2671788

By fletch
11月18日交.
it is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends!

Back to the ancient time, people had already started to worry about new changes occuring in their life, which might bring them a great number of benefits, but meanwhile force them to quit plenty of good things they cherish. Nowadays, as people frequently think about moving to new cities, even foreign countries, from which they might acquire lots of convenience, the worry of losing their current friends make them in a dilemma. As to me, I advocate that people should be encouraged to move to a new place, when it is essential.

In the first place, it is obvious that being in a new environment provides people a good chance to forget many unpleasant things, refresh themselves and start to fight from a new beginning. Shiyuzhu, a very famous Chinese businessman is a case in point. He once ran a rather successful company in Shenzhen, guangzhou, called Giant group corporation selling health products. However, his hasty management after short-term success resulted in his huge debt after the bankruptcy of his “Giant”. After one year silence, they started his new business in shanghai, a place far away from Shenzhen. With new passion and his old friends’ support, who had already been his co-workers in Shenzhen, he became a new business “Giant” and paid off all his debts. Moving to Shanghai really be very helpful to him.

Additionally, arriving at a new place means that people will meet many new friends. Supposing a family move from Beijing to Chongqing, the father and mother can make plenty of friends from strangers meeting in a party, neighbors living nearby, colleagues working in the same company. their kid is very easy to become friends with their children neighbors, their classmates, and their game-playing companions. People can hardly be alone as long as they show their friendliness to others.

Finally, although there is the risk of losing some friends when people change their living place, their true friends will never quit them. Besides they are still able to keep their friendship by contacting with each other in many ways. In their spare time, they can chat through QQ, and send E-mail to talk about new things happened around them. They can also choose to call each other or send short message when the festivals come. If they really expect to see their friends, they can invite friends to visit their new home sometimes. Through all the things mentioned above, their friendship will be strengthened instead of being weakened.

In consequence, as has been presented previously, although moving to a new place may make bring people some inconvence in their friendship, when taking all the benefits it produces, I strongly contend that if necessary, moving is a wise choice.

TidesUID: 2869998

好了。

fletchUID: 2671788

11月20日交 By Fletch
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

When it comes to whether a government shoud allocate more money in young children education or on higher education, people from different background hold divergent opinions. Some people deem that young children education are supposed to be put in the first place, while others stand on the opposite side. From my perspective, how the government spend their taxation on education should be based on their own reality, instead of following the mainstream.

In the first place, it is admitted that underdeveloped countries should focus their budget on the young chidren education. The majority of people among underdeveloped countries, such as Sudan, Kenya, can neither write nor read well due to the low level primary and secondary education. Their pressing and urgent task is to make sure that their next generation will not be literate in order to avoid following the same disastrous road. Besides, the government can even put some of the adults eager to learn into their local primary schools and provide them another chance to study. Gradually these countries will become more successful along with the development of their primary education.

Additionally, it is obvious that developing countries should promote both their young children education and higher education. Education in China is a case in point. On the one side, China has been investing a great deal of money in its compulsary education including total 9-year-long primary education and junior high school education, with the result of 99.7% children getting the chance of studying in schools in 2009 shown by a survey online. On the other side, the increasing number of Chinese senior high graducates is receiving the opportunities to study in universities or colleges. The wise education policy really contributes a lot to the current rapid growth of China’s economy.

Eventually, it is very natural that developed countries like USA and UK should put more focus on the higher education. That is because countries like the States have already founded a well-developed primary and secondary education system. Therefore, their children do not need to worry about losing the chances of going to schools. Instead, universities need money more urgently to do researches and develop new technologies, which are the main driving power the countries’ development.

All in all, as has been presented above, due to diverse background different countries should have different budget focus on the development of their education system for better success. One thing is for sure that education is key to boost the growth of a country, and all of them ought to allocate more and more money in it.

942wadeUID: 2948617

11月20日交 By Fletch
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

When it comes to （感觉加上question会比较好一些）whether a government shoud（should） allocate more money in（前后介词不一致） young children education or on higher education, people from different background（复数吧） hold divergent opinions. Some people deem that young children education are supposed to be put in the first place, while others stand on the opposite side. From my perspective, how the government spend their taxation on education should be based on their own reality, instead of following the mainstream.% g7 C& V/ S$ d& _; R7 X3 U, V/ W
$ u- v( t' c2 o$ B8 `
In the first place, it is admitted that underdeveloped countries should focus their budget on the young chidren（children） education. The majority of people among underdeveloped countries, such as Sudan, Kenya, can neither write nor read well due to the low level primary and secondary education. Their pressing and urgent（两个词意思重复，可以改成重要和紧迫） task is to make sure that their next generation will not（逻辑有问题了） be literate in order to avoid following the same disastrous road. Besides, the government can even put some of the adults eager to learn into their local primary schools and provide them （with）another chance to study. Gradually these countries will become more successful along with the development of their primary education.
Additionally, it is obvious that developing countries should promote both their young children education and higher education. Education in China is a case in point. On the one side, China has been investing a great deal of money in（on） its compulsary（compulsory） education including total 9-year-long primary education and junior high school education, with the result of 99.7% children getting the chance of studying（to study） in schools in 2009 shown by a survey online. On the other side, the increasing number of Chinese senior high graducates（graduates） is （感觉应该用复数，我也不是很清楚）receiving the opportunities to study in universities or colleges. The wise education policy really contributes a lot to the current rapid growth of China’s economy.（这段大部分再说中国初高等教育的反战现状，而没有说投钱的问题）
% z4 y# Y: Z7 n; K0 F5 C
Eventually, it is very natural that developed countries like USA and UK should put more focus on the higher education. That is because countries like the States（the United States） have already founded a well-developed primary and secondary education system. Therefore, their children do not need to worry about losing the chances of going to schools. Instead, universities need money more urgently to do researches and develop new technologies, which are the main driving power the countries’ development.
1 @- [, b; \5 ]% C1 R. q$ G) A# K
All in all, as has been presented above, due to diverse background different countries should have different budget focus on the development of their education system for better success. One thing is for sure that education is （the）key to boost （boosting）the growth of a country, and all of them（them指代不明） ought to allocate more and more money in（on） it.
楼主文章写得很好，思路新颖，遣词丰富。希望您有机会能帮我修改。谢谢！！https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1184361-1-1.html

fletchUID: 2671788

谢谢哈，修改得很仔细！

menglishuixiangUID: 2875988

哇，写这么多，是计时的吧，真厉害~~