Julia 的作文贴

juliagoUID: 2912431

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology makes people's lives simpler in turn to make people's lives more complicated.



With the advancement of technology our life today has changed a lot, some people claims that we could hardly to live without the modern technology, however
I firmly convincing that Technology make people's lives simpler in the mean time could make our life more complicated.

First, the technology do contribute to a more convenient life, for example we can get a instance response from others by using the telephone when we need some help and we can go somewhere far away which the people in the past could hardly imagine in a short time by take the transportation vehicles such as the airplane, train and automobile, as well as the invention of household machine say the wash machines and the microwave oven which can reduce tremendous time that people spend in the chores, besides the advent of the computer even
throw our human beings into a information epoch.

The technology do brings about incredibly improvement for our mankind as I mentioned above, however, everything has its drawbacks it sometime could make our life more complicated since manipulate these machines requires us to learn some rules or even a skill which could costs a lots of time, a telling example is the car, in order to drive it, we have to go the training center to learn both abstract knowledge or laws and to practice driving skills for a period of time. Another example is the computer, definitely, we have to practice typing and read relevant books to learn how to use some software for instance the Microsoft Word and PowerPoint before we can use it efficiently to do our work or study.

In conclusion, every coin has two sides, however, we could try to modify some technologies and lessen their shortcomings as we possible to make them facilitate our life in most extent.

hycqyUID: 2819662

帮着顶一下~

gamyUID: 2748678

改好了
加油！

lhywinUID: 2754801

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology makes people's lives simpler in turn to make people's lives more complicated.

With the advancement of technology our life today has changed a lot, some people claims that we could hardly to live without the modern technology, however
I firmly convincing（这里应该是谓语动词吧，用convince, convincing是adj ，且这里最好不要用convince,因为它是使役动词，楼主可以查下字典）that Technology makes people's lives simpler in the mean time（楼主表示的是同时的意思吧，那用at the meantime） could makes our life more complicated.
Firstly, the technology does contribute to a more convenient life, for example, we can get a instance(是否为instant?) response from others by using the telephone when we need some help and we can go somewhere far away which the people in the past could hardly imagine in a short time by take the transportation vehicles such as the airplane, the train and the automobile, as well as the invention of household machine.(个人觉得到这里就应该为一句了) say the wash machines(machine)and the microwave oven which can reduce tremendous time that people spend in the chores, besides the advent of the computer even9 @8 M, Y7 n; I4 throw our human beings into a information epoch（原文这整个一段就用了一句话来写，太复杂难懂了，后面这句应该改改）.
The technology does brings about incredibly(adv不能修饰名词，应该为incredible) improvement for our（去掉） mankind as I mentioned above,.(应该分句了) However, everything has its drawbacks it（，which） sometimes could makes our life more complicated since manipulate these machines requires us to learn some rules or even a skill which could costs a lots of time, a telling example is the car, in order to drive it, we have to go (to)the training center to learn both abstract knowledge or（并列关系用and） laws，and to practice driving skills for a period of time. Another example is the computer, definitely, we have to practice typing and read relevant books to learn how to use some software for instance the Microsoft Word and PowerPoint before we can use it efficiently to do our work or study.  

In conclusion, every coin has two sides, however, we could try to modify some technologies and lessen their shortcomings as we possible to make them facilitate our life in most extent.（建议后面一段多写点，而且最好将文章分为5段来写会比较好）

lhywinUID: 2754801

就是一些个人浅见，有哪里改得不对的地方望请指出～:)大家一起学习交流

juliagoUID: 2912431

1,11 号作业

We met numerous problems in our daily life and work and we get a plenty of advices too, some from people around us, others from our peers. Some people think that older people's suggestions are more valuable since the older are more mature than us thus they can provide a rational idea. However, I think that the advice from the people who are same old as us are, in some cases, more valuable and practical than the one from the older people.

First, people who are the same age as us can fully understand our circumstances and our feelings , consequently, they could provide a more acceptable advice, for example while I was a middle school student, I had an argument with one of my friends which upset me deeply, so I come back home and told this to my grandpa and he think it just a piece of cake compare to the more important things in life," Darling, you needn't worry about this, is no big deal", however, I was such a naive girl at that time that I could not understand what he means thus his words simply make no difference for me to deal with this problems, and I was still unhappy and convinced that if my friends do not like anymore then who could like me in  school.

Though the older people may have a lot of experiences, sometimes they might not have the same experiences with us since the world have changed a lot in the past few decades , thus some of their advice which base on the situations of the past may not work now. a telling example is when I prepare my Toefl test, my uncle tell me that "memorizing words and phrases" are the first priority during the test preparation, however, my classmate told me that do not work in the internet-based test, and in addition to memorizing words we are required to practice our oral speaking and listening, and only by practically improve our ability can we do a decent job in the test.

In conclusion, older people truly have some precious experience and knowledge which they can shall and guide us, however, this do not means that their advice are always better than the suggestion from the people at our same age.

juliagoUID: 2912431

5# lhywin

恩, 好啊！

gamyUID: 2748678

改好了~抱歉晚了

冬咚宝UID: 2956480

已改好，谢谢你对我作文的建议，一起努力吧~~~↖(^ω^)↗

juliagoUID: 2912431

1月12号

The teacher should be paid according to how well students perform.

Education is an increasing hot topic that we talk about today, and we all eager for a more advanced and effective education system which would definitely bring us a bright future. Recently, there are some people generated that we should pay the teacher according to how well students perform, for the reason that this may encourage them to improve their method of teaching and put more effort in their job, however, I do not believe this would eventually work out, and I have the following reasons:

On one hand ,it is not fair for the teacher, since the student from the  different  class are not  the same, they background, their academic ability, and their knowledge foundation may varied, thus we cannot judge a teacher’s input by how well their students are. for example if a teacher teaches a class that their grade are the worst in the school, surly he/she may has to spend extra time in order to get the same salary as the teacher who teaches the best class, and it is actually  a more difficult thing to help student who always do a bad job to get a decent grade. Moreover, a good teacher can never be measured by their student's grade, they should not only should have a excellent skill of teaching but also required an admirable personality thus they can set a good example to their student, for example they should be humanitarian and patient, and this significant aspect could only be estimate through student's comments rather than their practical academic records.

On the other hand, as for the student, it may cause a too competitive atmosphere and add extra burden on them. the reason is quite plain, the high pay may evoke teacher to push their students to work hard, they probably leave more homework, prolong the class time even may require their student to take some extra relevant courses, and all this will undeniably reduce the student's free time to relax themselves and do something they enjoy which are indispensible for their healthy growing.

In a nutshell, it is ridiculous to evaluate a teacher through student's grade and regard it as a standard for a teacher's pay.

great与众不同UID: 2558121

已修改

juliagoUID: 2912431

1月13日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

Some people think that the first priority for a student in school is to study, and they convince that a student should invest nearly all their time into their school work, however, I do not agree with this kind of conventional opinion, instead, I believe  relate well to other people is more important than studying hard in school. And I have following reasons:

First, to relate well to other people for example the teacher will benefit and serve as a catalyst for the improvement of our study. Take myself as an example: In the first year of my college, I met my math teacher who so humane and nice and I was fond of her at the first sight, after the class, I asked her email address and began to write to her frequently tell she about how we felt at the class, what I learned and what I still did not understand, needless to say, we became friends and we often play tennis to together and I even went to her home during the festivals. I began to devote more time to my math which was used to be my worst subject for the sake of her, and guess what? I did a decent in the final exam which surprised my parents so much that they even send me a new tennis racket!

Moreover, a good interpersonal relationship is an information resource which sometime plays an important role both in our study and work. The reason is quite obvious, since you have a large group of friend and they can provide you a plenty of information when your gays get together which sometimes can do you a big favor. A telling example is my uncle, when he graduated from his graduate school he decides to find a job, however, it was not easy because of his major-Chinese traditional literature, and two month past, he still could not find one, when he is about to give up, he got a phone call from one of his friends, told him that one publishing company is need of an literature reviewer, he went to here at once and got that job. We can see from this that how important a information is at a certain specific time of our life since sometimes what we need is just a chance , and a good interpersonal web is a valuable source of information.

In conclusion, relating well with other people lay a solid foundation not only for our good academic performance but also our future career!

fengyanhongUID: 2941762

抱歉今天很忙这时候才给你改 不好意思
Education is an increasing hot topic that we talk about today, and we all eager for a more advanced and effective education system which would definitely bring us a bright future. Recently, there are some people generated that we should pay the teacher according to how well students perform, for the reason that this may encourage them to improve their method of teaching and put more effort in their job, however, I do not believe this would eventually work out, and I have the following reasons:" I  W# {; O( N% P
- S/ F6 D0 x. s' A6 O
On （the）one hand ,it is not fair for the teacher, since the student from the  different  class are not  the same, they（their） background, （their省略） academic ability, and （their省略） knowledge foundation may varied, thus we cannot judge a teacher’s input by how well their students are. for example if a teacher teaches a class that their grade are the worst in the school, surly he/she may has to spend extra time in order to get the same salary as the teacher who teaches the best class, and it is actually  a more difficult thing to help student who always do a bad job to get a decent grade.（很有说服力） Moreover, a good teacher can never be measured by their student's grade, they should not only （should前面有了） have a excellent skill of teaching but also （be）required an admirable personality thus they can set a good example to their student, for example they should be humanitarian and patient, and this significant aspect could only be estimate through student's comments rather than their practical academic records.

On the other hand, as for the student, it may cause a too competitive atmosphere and add extra burden on them. the reason is quite plain, the high pay may evoke teacher to push their students to work hard, they probably leave more homework, prolong the class time even may require their student to take some extra relevant courses, and all this will undeniably reduce the student's free time to relax themselves and do something they enjoy which are indispensible for their healthy growing.
& v$ s9 e* d( Z6 P
In a nutshell, it is ridiculous to evaluate a teacher through student's grade and regard it as a standard for a teacher's pay.

语句很流畅，说理很清晰
结构方面也算是明确，但还有提升空间。
比如as for the student，最好在前面或后面有对应的写as for teachers。如果没有的话建议不用这个句式结构。On the one hand和 on the other hand 不是任意两个原因就能组合在一起的，最好这两个原因之间有对应，或者把这样的对应显式的指出。建议你可以：
把第二段分成两段，整体叙述部分扩充为3段。
On the one hand, as for the teacher。写你第二段moreover之前的部分。
On the other hand, as for the student。写你第三段的内容。
Besides，老师不该以学生成绩衡量。写你第二段moreover之后的部分。

冬咚宝UID: 2956480

1.13已改好，见附件~