issue151

天地无用UID: 112318

断断续续的练习Issue大概十篇了吧, 刚开始觉得非常生涩, 然后越写越顺, 心情也随之变好, 但是我写到十篇左右的时候,也就是最近的两篇,突然觉得下笔没的可写, 有一种思路枯竭的感觉. 以前是有想法不知道该怎么写出来, 现在是不知道该写什么. 嗯, 保持练习吧. 这次是传媒类, Issue 151, SUN Yuan 83, 请指教!

Topic: High-speed electronic communications media, such as electronic mail and television, tend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication.

Syllabus: my position: electronic communications have obvious advantages over traditional way of communications.
1: it is seems that electronic communications plays a more and more significant role in our daily life.
2: on the other side of the coin, it cannot replace traditional ways of communication, such as face-to-face interaction.

Text:
Do high-speed electronic communications media, such as electronic mail and television; tend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication, as the author’s asserts? I think the preposterousness of such a suggestion is clear enough: it seems like the author unfairly exaggerates the disadvantages of electronic communications. By this I mean although high-speed electronic communications media can perform most functions that traditional media have provided, they have obvious advantages over tradition ways. To get a full understanding of what this means we must turn first to some recent human inventions.

First of all, let us get down to fundamentals and agree that the e-mail and telephone has replaced the traditional letter as the first choice of our telecommunications. In this case, empirical evidence supporting this position is overwhelming, yet one need look no father than the personal computer in his study or telephone hangs up on the wall of his living room. Why is this so? It seems that e-mail and telephone is more vivid and economic and high-speed than traditional letters. While the author claims e-mail tend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication, however, if one examines the ways of both sides, it becomes evidence that it is the e-mail which is just meaningful and thoughtful. For instance, I can attach a picture of me or a short piece of movie of my recent living in my e-mail to Mom, although we are apart from, I can display myself to her with all dimensions of media, but how can I do those during a letter by two piece of paper? For the reasons given above, I firmly hold that e-mail has no trend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication.

But when it comes to the other side of the coin, electronic communications media also have many disadvantages so that it cannot replace every traditional ways such as face-to-face talking. To be more precise, shortages and scarcities of e-transmit are the same clear as the strong points of it: it cannot provide social or collective activities of human beings. That is to say high-speed electronic communications media sometimes tend to create passive, isolated and indifferent communicators, preventing people from effective face-to-face interaction. Furthermore, e-transmit depends on network and electric system so much, in other words, if the service of network or electronic power has something wrong, all communications base on it will cease, even collapsed.

In conclusion, with the rapid development of science, the ways of communication have reached a stage at which we can transmit our information by electronic way. Although the author’s claim is not entirely without support, it runs contrary to common sense and everyday human experience. By this I concede that sometimes electronic communications have a few of disadvantages over traditional way of communications; however, as a recent development of internet technology, their positive functions hold more lasting significance.

paisleyUID: 64183

Topic: High-speed electronic communications media, such as electronic mail and television, tend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication.


Text:
Do high-speed electronic communications media, such as electronic mail and television; tend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication, as the author’s asserts? I think the preposterousness of such a suggestion is clear enough: it seems like the author unfairly exaggerates the disadvantages of electronic communications. By this I mean although high-speed electronic communications media can perform most functions that traditional media have provided, they have obvious advantages over tradition ways.(这句话看起来是你的中心句了，但是是否和题目中的prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication.有足够的关联呢?) To get a full understanding of what this means we must turn first to some recent human inventions.

First of all, let us get down to fundamentals and agree that the e-mail and telephone has replaced the traditional letter as the first choice of our telecommunications. In this case, empirical evidence supporting this position is overwhelming, yet one need look no father(拼写错误，应是farther,而且在表示抽象意义时,最好用further) than the personal computer in his study or telephone hangs up on the wall of his living room. Why is this (最好用it) so? It seems that e-mail and telephone is more vivid and economic(我记得是economical表示”经济省钱”) and high-speed(不如用swift) than traditional letters. While the author claims e-mail(少s,否则后面应该是tends) tend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication, however, if one examines the ways of both sides, it becomes evidence that it is the e-mail which(前面用it is的强调句式,后面应是that而不是which) is just meaningful and thoughtful. For instance, I can attach a picture of me or a short piece of movie of my recent living in my e-mail to Mom, although we are apart from, I can display myself to her with all dimensions of media, but how can I do those during a letter by two piece of paper? For the reasons given above, I firmly hold that e-mail has no trend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication. (感觉这个例子不是很有说服力,你只能证明EMAIL这些形式更丰富更活泼，却不能证明它们更有意义,更富思想性)

But when it comes to the other side of the coin, electronic communications media also have many disadvantages so that it cannot replace every traditional ways such as face-to-face talking. To be more precise, shortages and scarcities of e-transmit are the same clear as the strong points of it: it cannot provide social or collective activities of human beings. That is to say high-speed electronic communications media sometimes tend to create passive, isolated and indifferent communicators, preventing people from effective face-to-face interaction. Furthermore, e-transmit depends on network and electric system so much, in other words, if the service of network or electronic power has something wrong, all communications base on it will cease, even collapsed. (为什么不如面对面得交谈就不好了呢?这里应该联系题目的 meaningful and thoughtful.这两个是关键词)

In conclusion, with the rapid development of science, the ways of communication have reached a stage at which we can transmit our information by electronic way. Although the author’s claim is not entirely without support, it runs contrary to common sense and everyday human experience. By this I concede that sometimes electronic communications have a few of disadvantages over traditional way of communications; however, as a recent development of internet technology, their positive functions hold more lasting significance.


首先，和你同感, 我也有过一段时间非常郁闷，写不出东西来，看到ISSUE就头痛，不想再碰了。不过这是平台期,过去了就好了。加油。

问题我基本上在文章里说了。就是你避重就轻,没有对两个关键词进行论述, 在比较优劣时, 只是从其他方面着手. 可能是这两个价值比较难以定义也难以掌握吧, 不过也不能比开呀。建议你再网深里想一想

语言方面足够好了

天地无用UID: 112318

诶呀,斑竹JJ说我"好"了...感动ing...@_@

我写的时候也意识到了写得有点浅薄,不过真的是下笔不知道该写什么,拿到题目脑子里一片空白...还是看了孙元的作文书上的提纲才依葫芦画瓢的正反写了两点...看来以后得重点练习些提纲了,要是到考试的时候脑子还空白就死翘翘了...

我觉得咱们的作文版上关于题目立意的讨论都非常好,我看了觉得帮助很大,也希望更多的朋友能留下自己的意见!

treesUID: 82785

我现在也已经丧失写整篇文章的能力了。只能半篇半篇。。。。：（

加油加油吧

天地无用UID: 112318

诶,trees说到这里...不是说好一起写孙元的押题么...结果使我写完了你还说你的只有半篇...晃点我啊...

treesUID: 82785

哎，不信我贴了这一半你看看。。。。我准备按照这个思路重新写。。。


High-speed electronic communications media, such as electronic mail and television, tend to prevent meaningful and thoughtful communication.
传酶类


新事物代替就事物是一种趋势。
新事物有很多优点
但并未完全取代

Following the expeditious development of science and technology, some new communication methods, especially the high-speed electronic one, come into the life of most of people from the twenty-century. Some people enjoy these new ways while others complain that the traditional one has been impacted and be used less and less. In my opinion, the high-speed electronic communications media, which should be encouraged to widely utilize, effects other styles but not to prevent.

The first reason to support my opinion is that the new object insteading of the old one is a tendency in this world. The development of objects has its own regulation. And the history tells us most last things contain the formers’ benefits and usually have more advantage than them, such as the Capitalism is much better than the primitive society. As the same, the high-speed electronic communications media reserves the connected function and brings to more superiority.

Firstly, the high-speed electronic one has much quicker speed on transmitting the information. It brings the efficiency to keep up with the steps of the industrial world. The broadcast stations as VOA (voice of America), BBC (British broadcast c.) and so on convey the message from all of the world on time everyday rather than the used method which hand down one by one. And the electronic mail should send a letter or a contract to the destination in the other side of the earth in one minute instead of several days and more by ship or train.

Secondly, the economy is another advantage of high-speed electronic media. Take an example, writing an electronic mail only uses to pay for the electricity fee, the hire price of international net and part of another charge.
到这里的123就完全按照T作文了。闷

treesUID: 82785

有一个问题呢。就是这里到底television e-mail是一个什么地位。是不是可以装作没有他们；还是要作为主要的例子；还是主要的阐述对象（如果这样，我就只会按照现在写的思路写了）

天地无用UID: 112318

欢迎欢迎
:)
我看看哈...~

treesUID: 82785

看PASLEY JJ给天地改的我发现了一个问题。我刚看题目的时候没有很明白meaningful and thoughtful在这里是做什么用的，于是就去看了看所谓的翻译。然后就忽略了meaningful and thoughtful。：（