keaishu 托福写作 练习专用贴

keaishuUID：2213233

512 独立+综合 都在这一个doc文档里。。麻烦下载用修订帮我改。。。

qfaithUID：2657846

5.12 综合独立已改好 16# keaishu

曾小贤_UID：2980487

http://u.115.com/file/aq8q1aey

还要多积累把。。观点组织方面。。语法方面。。句型。。多练。加油。

keaishuUID：2213233

谢谢修改的同学

综合+独立

tidus_xuanUID：172013

5.19 独立 改好了

EMP_CHENGUID：2762848

5月19日

鱼.小白UID：2754339

综合tpo9
The speaker pointed out that the passage indicated the bad impact caused by using oil fuel to power the automobile. However, the speaker did not agree that the passage took it as granted that fuel-cell engine is an applicable way to solve the problem.  

The passage mentioned that the material used by the fuel-cell engine is easily to be obtained. However, the speaker indicated that the fuel-cell needs hydrogen in a pure liquid form, which needs a very cold temperature which is hard to be achieved. Frankly speaking, the availability of the resource used by the fuel-cell is low.

The speaker also point out that using the fuel-cell engine to solve the pollution problem is not possible. Although the combustion in the car will not produce harmful byproduct, the process which is carried out in the factory to produce the liquid form of hydrogen needs a lot of energy and will cause considerable pollution.

Moreover, the passage claimed that the fuel-cell engines will become cheaper and cheaper and soon to be at an affordable price for the customers. In fact, the speaker concluded that a kind of heavy and valuable metal is needed to build the fuel-cell and there is no alternate way. This is very costly and will not be practical in a near future.


独立
People would be happier if they had fewer possessions? Agree or not?

Nowadays in this fast pace society, more and more people find that though they make more and more money, they become more and more anxious and upset. Is it true that the more money will cause more worries? I do not think so. It is definitely that people will get happier if they have more possessions.

Not only can our life be with money, but also with no money. ( cannot understand your meaning here). We can use the money to get a lot of things to be done. If you are a football fan you can fly to South Africa or Brazil for the World Cup final, which will bring you a lot of joys. If you are mania(crazy about??) at music you can travel to Vienna to enjoy a wonderful show by the pianist Langlang. Definitely we need much money to enrich our life and entertainment. Fewer possessions may lead you to struggle with the survival and fight for the bread, none of the business with happiness( donot understand, you need rewrite this sentence).

What is more, money can bring us the proud and respect. It is not correct to adorn money but many people still evaluate their success by using the possession they have. Then more possessions mean higher achievement and give more pride to its owner, who will feel satisfied. Besides that, others who hold the same creed(belief) will respect the rich people, and make the possessors much happier( not very clear, you’d better rewrite it). And futhermore, the rich people can do something about the charity, such as Bill Gates and Buffett donated their fortune, hence it will further increase their happiness.
Although some one will doubt my point of view and ask why they feel more and more pressure when they even gain more? My opinion is that people always have their worries and anxieties no matter they are rich or poor. But people expect to have less worry if they are getting more and more possession. The contrast leads to a kind of feeling that they have more worries. Also, the ambitions increase with the possessions will add extra burden that causes anxiety. Therefore, with the growing fortune, people need to learn how to be satisfied and spend the money wisely to gain more happiness.

鱼.小白UID：2754339

resend it because the highlighted words are not shown

鱼.小白UID：2754339

see here.

keaishuUID：2213233

5.23 综合TPO13 + 独立 多做几种工作再决定长期事业

独立有点超时了。。今天开始慢慢渗透模板。

hypnosis@1122UID：2904175

楼主写作功底强大，几乎没什么问题，小弟向楼主学习了

鱼.小白UID：2754339

here it is.

鱼.小白UID：2754339

here it is