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[求助] My first independent writing~~求恨改! [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-3-3 21:02:56 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
我的第一篇独立写作,请各位路过的高手帮忙看看,有哪些用法错误,还有哪些地方需要提高的。。不胜感激!句子都比较简单,包容~~

愿奋战在GT上的XDJM都能如愿!

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.



With an advent ofthe industry evolution, the announcement of establishing every sort offactories is issued by companies. Recently, a large factory is supposed to be builtnear our community according to the claim sent by a company, which raise a hit discussion concerning whether to rejectthe announcement. A huge number of people argue that we should not have thefactory built in consideration of environment protection. I, on the contrary,deem that the factory will benefit the neighbors a lot.

The conveniencebrought by the factory is definitely one of the most important benefits. As theconstruction of the factory, many facilities, such as roads and hospitals, willbecome more completed.  Since the factoryneeds large amount of workers for the manufactory, an increasing number ofsupermarkets and entertainments will be established accordingly. Even, therewill be more public transportation means around the community. All of these notonly benefit the workers here, but also the people living there.

The factory alsoincreases the income of the community, both for the government and thecitizens. In the aspect of citizens, the factory and the shops opened offer usa tremendous amount of job opportunities. We maynot have to go a long distance to our company, and have more time to relax athome. A job nearby always saves us a lot of troubles. In the government's sightof view, the taxes that the factory makes are nodoubt considerable amounts which conversely promote the welfare of thecitizens.

The constructionof factory also has some negative aspects. The most serious one is theenvironmental problems. The pollution brought about is a severe issue. Thewaste gas exhausted from the factory takes place of the fresh air around us,the noise disturbs our peaceful live day and night, and the limpid string is nolonger seen passing by the town. People cannot ignore the serious environmentproblems though we benefit from the factory at the same time.

Taking intoaccount all these factors, I argue that it is a wise decision to build afactory near our community, for the merits it brings outweigh the shortcomings.There are some ways for us to overcome the drawbacks of the factory building.Taking water pollution as an example, we can force the factory to build a wastewater cleaning system and control its exhaust by law.  By the efforts we make, the benefits of thefactory will be extended to the maximum.
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My first independent writing~~求恨改!
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