argument119，模仿sample1写的。真心的想问些问题。内附问题。

ada90UID: 3013310

题目：ARGUMENT119 - The following is a letter to the editor of the Waymarsh Times.

"Traffic problems here in Waymarsh are obviously reaching record levels. While just three months ago it would take me 15 minutes to get to work, it now takes closer to 25. Waymarsh should follow the example of our neighboring city Gearsville. Last year, Gearsville implemented a policy that rewards people who share rides to work with coupons for free gas. Pollution levels in Gearsville have dropped since the policy was implemented, and several friends who live in Gearsville tell me that their trip to work is quicker than it used to be. With the terrible traffic and high pollution in Waymarsh, we must implement a policy similar to Gearsville's."
字数：434
用时：1:05:26

日期：2011-3-8








The argument is not well-reasoned ,though it is well-presented . The letter recommends that in order to resolve the problem about terrible traffic and high pollution they should follow the policy that was implement in last year by their neighboring city Gearsville ,and built a similar policy, which seems it can change the circumstance of traffic and pollution , with coupons for free gas.（只是描述了argument没有写主要逻辑错，这样要不要紧？其实是照着 sample 1写的.）

However ,the writer of the letter are failing to consider other possible alternatives to the different situation of traffic and pollution in two cities. Such alternative may include the fact that the pollution levels dropping in Gearsville may（用这个may到底好不好？因为想是自己支持的所以如果MAY的话会不会消弱自己的观点啊） just for the enough destroyed original circumstance of their city and last year their government directly took action for those factories which pollute the air .Actually on that time
they also implemented the policy of free gas. Yet this policy do not have much effect on what problem exsitence in Gearsville. In addition , as to Waymarsh ,they may do not have a terrible environment
problem of some heavy manufacture or even just slight pollution of water , the argument not give sufficient evidence to prove Waymarsh straggled in high pollution , thus ,there is no efficiency to build any similar policy with Gearsville for solving water pollution in Waymarsh.


Such alternatives about the traffic in Gearsville and Waymarsh composed that even assumption that the policy of free gas could relieve the traffic jam in Gearsville , it base on the fact that this policy decrease the rate of utilization of car . But the number of private car or automobile in Waymarsh are so few that the similar policy fail down in here. In addition ,although the writer of the letter stated that he/she had taken more time to get to work on the road than three months ago, the fact was that the road which he/she have to cross on the way to work is rebuilt and will be better after that time .

Even the assumption that the policy of free gas could lead a well-being traffic and environment ,the writer fails to consider that the policy have utilized in last
year . Maybe that time the flow of cars was too huge to convey in Gearsville for a world party ,the policy absolutely address the issue . Similar with Gearsville, Waymarsh may have some big party or some other reason enhancing the flow of cars
in last year and those heavy flow lead
the so many trouble spots on their road or highway
.For that matter, last year the similar policy resolve the same problem but in this year
free gas cannot repair those road which is
the main reason
for traffic .

In conlusion ,the reasoning behind decreasing depravative level of traffic and environment in Waymarsh back to its original seems logical as presented above since the citizens are acting in their own best inerests and want to have a well-being life. however ,before any final decisions are made about
the improving the traffic and environment in Waymarsh the citizens and offices should evaluate all possible alternatives and cause for the traffic and environmental problem over this year as compared to Gearsville（结尾完全是模仿sample1了）

这个是我本来想的提纲
1.


没有足够的事实证明W的环境很危险，W的交通很差劲。
2.
W不能和G相比去解决，1两城情况不同 污染的方面情况不同。2 traffic方面情况不同。
3.
就算可以相比去解决，去年不能解决今年。



主要揭核心错，就是类比错。然后把其他的错误放到类比错里面。模仿sample1
但是现在写出来我也不知道我体现自己的这个想法了没。。形式上貌似是体现了。
这个是第一篇动手写的argument 。 希望各位能指错啊。随便什么都可以。用词方面我现在就这个水平有待提高。当然还有句型。
主要希望大家能帮忙看下结构和思想的问题。