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发表于 2011-4-12 14:51:44
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Agree or disagree: In a cooperation of team, the people who cannot accept criticize wouldn’t be successful. 观点:同意。
让步段:有一个支持的理由:其他人不一定总是正确的,说不定那个人是正确的,开辟了一条新的道路并由此成功。
主体段:1.在团队中不接受批评意味着不懂得团队合作,然而正是团队合作是个人的力量得以强大,增加成功的机会。
2.不接受批评同时也代表着内心的狭隘和自私,心胸狭隘和自私的人是不会取得成功的。
Within the decade, with(as) the rapid advancement of the society, a growing number of people are considering cooperating and starting their own career, accompany with the process of the teamwork, they may find some disagreements and can hardly continue the work(省略后更简洁). Some of them hold the opinion that in the cooperation, the individuals who is not willing to accept critique from others have no chance to be successful, which from my perspective, is totally considerable and deliberate.
Admittedly, there may be one strong point that can support the opposite notion, that is, everyone is not perfect, and no one can promise that he will never do something wrong, maybe the people who are criticized in the group hold the proper opinion while others not.
In this way, they won’t be affected by other person, and have the probability to achieve their goals. However, I believe the merits of my attitude are far more than this.
一开头就admittedly是很不合适的,(这不是GRE的专门为难考生的论文,GRE的论文之所以这样是为了为难考生),而楼主这样做只会混淆评分者的视线,这样的布局很让人不舒服,弄不清楚的立场
To begin with, in a team work, the meaning of rejecting others’ critique is that the person doesn’t comprehend the cooperation. Nevertheless, it is the compact collaboration that leads to the strengthening of one single person’s ability and thus to obtain success. The closer the team combines, the greater the possibility to succeed is(省略), and accepting critiques modestly will definitely build up the relationship of the team. For example, it is reported that the winner of the 2010 Top Science Honor in China is a professor (who) was assisted by several undergraduates he cultivated, before they worked in company with the professor they had all made contribution to science more or less, yet they never felt unwilling to the critiques of the professor, and consequently, the honor and achievement they obtained was far more significant than this.(这里总结的一句话不太会写,以前写过被别人批了- 求指点)我觉得还好呀
What’s more, it seems like a gold opportunity for people being criticized to realize and spot their drawbacks. Generally speaking, refusing critiques means one’s narrow mind and the selfishness. Without any doubt, making progress so as to acquire accomplishment is almost impossible if they cannot take adequate attitude towards others’ critiques. (逻辑```1被人批评可以帮助我们发现错误2不接受批评意味着思想狭隘和自私3不接受别人批评的人不会有进步
这里的第二句跟前后都没有关系,而你也没有论述这样定义性的话语,可以删掉了这句)For instance, one of the principles of Lincoln who is known as a great president in the American history, is to accept his opponent’s critiques and transfer opponents to proponents through the method. In a sense, the American government resembles the team work, and the people who are capable of taking advice from others will benefit tremendously from this approach.
In sum, rather than refusing other’s critiques, it is accepting critiques that can lead the way to success for people, and I strongly agree with the statement. |
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