[读ISSUE例文]题目中带细节或例子的文章，别有一番滋味~

treesUID: 82785

issue116"With the growth of global networks in such areas as economics and communication, there is no doubt that every aspect of society - including education, politics, the arts and the sciences - will benefit greatly from international influences."
从前一直在提一个问题，题目中有细节或者例子的文章是不是要忽略那些细节，如as ,including, such as等等。看了这篇文章有了新的体会。原来文章可以这样写，一一开刀，顺水推舟
范文来自自嘉文博译
Sample Essay

The increasing globalization of telecommunications and the rising interdependency of the economies of the various countries of the world cannot be denied. News and other information can be transmitted around the world in a matter of seconds. Banks in hundreds of different countries can almost instantaneously transfer money to almost any other bank in the world. 这里蛮有特点，开头上2个例子，但是短且与题目后文毫不重复As these global networks become even further developed, the world will become even "smaller" than it is today. While there is no doubt that most aspects of society can and probably will benefit from these interconnections, there is doubt as to whether all aspects of society will benefit greatly from international influences.

下面便是按照题目4个方面进行阐述了，各自一段。紧扣开头最后观点，从most benefit到most threaten.看前曾设想，如果我写中间必定也是4段：但是3段most fields benefit，1段写也不是all fields。还是例文里来的更给劲些~
Education probably has the greatest opportunity to benefit from these global networks. Students' access to the Internet and the World Wide Web brings an endless supply of information from all over the world. In-depth research on any subject can be done now while simply sitting at a computer rather than by tedious searches through stacks of books or rolls of microfilm in a library. Real-time international exchanges of ideas and information can and do occur by linking schools across the globe through teleconferencing via live video satellite transmissions. It is possible that a student in the United States can "sit in" on a class at a university in China. The possible benefits for education are endless and constantly expanding as global communications continue to improve and become less expensive.

The sciences also stand to gain tremendous benefits from global networks. Research and development departments of a company in one country can instantaneously transmit information to all other R&D departments in the company worldwide. Medical research and information can be shared worldwide, reducing the amount of time it takes to make rapid advances in medicine as efforts no longer have to be duplicated by each individual researcher. All kinds of scientific knowledge and information can be quickly shared, tested and refined through joint efforts by scientists linked by global networks. Again, as with education, the potential benefits of a global scientific network are constantly growing and unlimited in scale.喜欢这个最后1句，简单的就将以上两段完整的对比，很有整体感呢

With the field of politics, it becomes a little less certain on the subject of potential benefits. On the one hand, the people of most countries now have direct access to the people of other countries via email, instant messenger services and chatrooms and thus can find out about the political environments and conditions of almost every other country in the world. This could potentially lead to great advances in democracy as more people demand to have a voice in their governmental representation. On the other hand, governments may see this as a threat to their power and strive to eliminate access to these types of communications, which would clearly not be a benefit to the population as a whole.
段内加上2个观点，说服更有力些

As for the arts and culture in general, global networks may actually be more of a threat than a benefit. Although fans of the arts now have greater access to the arts and cultures of other countries than ever before, this could lead to a type of "globalization" or homogenization of the arts by creating an international standard that could potentially eliminate cultural artistic differences in the future. As one example, the French government mandated that only a limited amount of information could be broadcast in English in an effort to preserve French culture and language. It would seem to be a natural progression for the arts and culture to actually lose national identity as global networks become more widespread.
art扩展到culture，又不死守着题目的INCLUDING4类

且这4段长短相似，结构就很整齐了



Almost all aspects of society probably stand to benefit from the rapid growth of global networks. In general, the more that people are connected to each other, the greater the chances are that they will learn to understand each other. But in the rush to understand and communicate with each other, it is important that individuals do not lose those unique cultural characteristics that make them different than everyone else.
结尾是我一直最想学的，不完全重复观点又有所“升华”，定位于个性与共性，多引起人一点思考

整篇文章段落整齐，洋洋洒洒就697字，也难怪，比别的文章多了一段，字数自然也就上去了。
不过还是觉得可以改进的是中间4段在彼此连接时除了对benefit whether or not，是不是还该用些其他连接方式更好些呢，这个只是疑问，也没有想得很明白呢