郝郝同学 daily writing

xiangtuoUID??3047550

With the booming of science and technology, various kinds of entertainment enrich our life. Among those entertainments are movies which appeal the public profoundly (Among 不是这么用的吧？而且 appeal可以和profoundly连用吗？有些疑问)Among those entertainments，movies impact public profoundly. There is an argument arisen that the only worth of movies is to teach us something about real life recent days. Most of people approve that the value of movies transcend the value of teaching us regarding real life because the movies of outer space can be seen frequently. A few people, nonetheless, deem that learning involving reality is the only point movies do for us because reality is the most meaningful things. Coincidence with most of people, my heart feel objection to a few people that learning involving reality is the only point movies do for us. The reasons are demonstrated as below.
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* z7 \! d6 \2 V; h& dFirst, considerable movies relating to unknown objects gratify our curiosity. With prosperity of science and technology, people’s curiosities of outer space increase gradually. Movie is an excellent way to satisfy those curiosities. Manifold imaginations and predicts, which we never imagined, are all presented through the screen in cinemas. And then a space is supplied to enjoy after we see such movies. Avatar is a perfect example of these movies. A strange planet far away from us, a strange race with light blue and especially strange species ablaze during night are all impressive for(我觉得to更恰当) people live on earth. All supposes conceived are objectified by this movies. Thereby, such eminent movies not only satisfied people’s curiosity but also motivate the exploring of outer space.（是要表达促进人类探索太空？我觉得最好不要再总结句出现新的观点吧，要和起始句呼应，而且not only but also 是强调后者的。） g. Z% n' D' g; L' b. o) w# O
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Second, movies’ diversity expends our horizon. With development of society, either adults or children are willing to expend their horizon.（和社会发展有联系吗？） They do not slip（可以这么用吗？） any opportunities to learn even when are in their leisure time. To cater to the audiences’ requirements, industry presents various themes（什么意思咧？）, including sorcery, prediction and outer space. Diversity is a remarkable method to familiar with different fields and to enlighten imagination. For instance, one of my friends was enlightened by movies 2012, conceived a painting involving disaster which won a prize from national competition. Movies out of real life enlarge our horizon and give us inspiration now and then.- x, n# H( f& [6 L
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Third, movies concerning on real life have no effects（有点绝对了，不至于吧） on releasing people’s burden. What is movie? It is a type of entertainment that is movie（是要写强调句吗？我觉得that is movie可以删掉） and it is a way that people departing from reality is movie. Considerable although advantages the development of society brings about such as high salaries and good living condition, they cannot compete with the disadvantages of high pressure leads to when mental health are taken into deliberation. Only when people feel relaxation can they ease themselves absolutely. The plots of reality movies just remind them pressure, competition and heavy work. Therefore, as a member of entertainment, movies concerning on real life have no capability to delight people.  O% s2 G, Q* t
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In conclusion, the worth of movies is not that simple. When we felt boring of real life from movies, isn’t necessary to think about how amazing inspiration prediction movies brought about?

xiangtuoUID??3047550

水平有限~如有错误之处见谅~
我觉得文章框架很好 逻辑不错，结尾还可以再强调 或延伸下，有些仓促的感觉，然后第三段我个人认为有些绝对，语气可以写得稍微软些~

郝郝同学UID??3024925

2011 5月9日 综合
Tpo7 综合

Both the reading and the lecture are talking about ecocertification on wood companies in Unite States, but the speaker disagrees with the perspective made in the reading that wood companies in Unite States have no necessity to receive the ecocertification. There are three reasons demonstrated as below.

The reading first claims the idea from the American customers’ view. Because customers have no confidence with the advertisements declaimed regarding catholic products. However, it has strongly opposed by the instructor with a new proof. He says that customers differentiate products by certification. For instance, they would choose the companies with the ecocertification permitted by international. That is why the opinion of the reading is challenged heavily.  

Furthermore, the professor also asserts that price, of course, is the most significant factors when customers purchase goods. Only when the prices, which of two things in the same category, have a numerous distinction, can price play the role. It differs the reading as well. He believes that customers must choose the cheaper one.

Finally，the professor in the listening material, maintains that customers admit that ecocertification is a international symbol which proved the competition of wood companies. While the reading claims that ecocertification is power in foreign country rather than in Unite States. According to it, reading passage has been contradicted again.

Therefore, the speaker departs totally from opinions on the topics made in the reading.

EMP_CHENGUID??2762848

5月6日,Tpo7 综合

不好意思!!批晚了
周末怠懈了

网盘里：http://u.115.com/file/bh1lyciy

郝郝同学UID??3024925

2011 5 9 独立
Parents should help their children make decision or children make decision by themselves

With the booming of society, fierce competition is increasing. In order to comply with this circumstance, most parents prefer to help their children decide their future so that children have capability to strengthen themselves rapidly. A few people, however, all their children make decision by themselves because they could obtain the ability of independence. Contrary to most parents, I feel agreement with few parents that children decide their future in their own ways because independent ability is a necessity for their future.

First, making decisions by children is an excellent opportunity to enhance their capability of independence. A promising future for children depends on the requirement during the independent process. Taking college students as an example, they deal with all problems by themselves after they go to the college. Nonetheless, most of them lack of experience regarding managing comparatively considerable money and scheduling their life. Capability plays a significant role at this time. It is apparent that students who once got these experiences are the winner of these fields. Therefore, of particular importance is making decisions by children.

Second, in promoting connection between children and parents lies the advantages of allowing children decide their own future. Comparing with parents’ decisions, children’ decisions are more coincident with their interests. Children and their parents are able to negotiate the decision made by children if parents are willing to compromise. During this communication, a harmony atmosphere delights both parties. For example, a problem, which concerning whether painting skills or music skills to learn, argued by parents and children. Will children be appreciate only when parents make an agreement with children’ decision that learn music skills instead of painting skills. Hence, the more parents respect children’ willingness, the more harmonious their connections are.

Admittedly, it seems much difficult to make right decisions by children own because of lacking social experience. From this aspect, parents are the best directors. In growth period, nevertheless, for children’ understanding involving life, assistance from parents is minor agent. The key agent is their experience to society and requirements of experience. For instance, after rejecting the job schedule by my parents, I knew frustration of finding a gratify job which is departed from my prediction.

In conclusion, considerable though the disadvantages of allowing children to make decision by their own are, the con not compete with the advantages brings about when capability and connection with parents are taken into deliberation.

lavinia7479UID??3025869

以下給你作參考^^:

Both the reading and the lecture are talking about ecocertification on wood companies in Unite States, but the speaker disagrees with the perspective made in the reading that wood companies in Unite States have no (not) necessity to receive the ecocertification. There are three reasons demonstrated as below.

The reading first claims the idea from the American customers’ view. Because customers have no confidence with the advertisements declaimed (?) regarding catholic products. However, it has strongly opposed by the instructor with a new proof. He says that customers differentiate products by certification. For instance, they would choose the companies with the ecocertification permitted by international. That is why the opinion of the reading is challenged heavily.

Because是連接詞,是用來連接2個句子
Instructor我查yahoo字典和google dictionary,是指大學講師,所以建議改成professor或lecturer

Furthermore, the professor also asserts that price, of course, is the most significant factors when customers purchase goods. Only when the prices, which of two things in the same category, have a numerous distinction, can price play the role. It differs the reading as well. He believes that customers must choose the cheaper one.

of course, is the most significant factors when customers purchase goods. Only when the prices, which of two things in the same category, have a numerous distinction, can price play the role. 這句話我會想改成寫說 Although the price is one of the significant factor when customers purchase goods, only when the prices, which of two things in the same category, and have a numerous distinction, will influence customer’s decision.


Finally，the professor in the listening material, (我覺得這句話可以不用) maintains that customers admit that ecocertification is a international symbol which proved (provide) the competition of wood companies. While the reading claims that ecocertification is power in foreign country rather than in Unite States. (這句話reading沒講)According to it, reading passage has been contradicted again.

Therefore, the speaker departs totally from opinions on the topics made in the reading.

Depart我查字典的意思是離開,違反,和去世等等

郝郝同学UID??3024925

36# lavinia7479

郝郝同学UID??3024925

2011 5月10 日 独立
For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

With the booming of society, a increasing number of people pay much more attention on education of young generation. There is a touchy problem regarding whether government should focus more budget on children education or on university students’ education. Most people approve that university students is the mainstream in society, pay more money on them is provident because they feedback society rapidly. A few people believe that government should invest more on children’ education because children in the future of society. Contrary to a few people, my heart feels agreement with most people that university education deserve more investment. The reasons are demonstrated as below.

First, budget of government and profit of college students create have mutual affects. Young adults, few years later, make contributions in every class which is the result of government nurture. It is assume that government pay money on other aspects rather than university education. Apparently, the specific capability of young adults who is the key of society is decrease the development. For example, a sophomore, one of my friends, study at a prosperous university, which update books of library rapid. Catering to take career examination, material found in library play a significant role so that he passed the examination and then made interests for his companies. Therefore, finical support from government and educated university students, to some extent, affects each other.

Second, strengthen the finical policy on university education lead to lee money consuming. Most of college students have their own purpose of their careers. Instead of exploring interests of them, certain direction makes both government and they concentrate on definite fields, which create thrift. For instance, children education should be various. Parents alter the direction of their learning successively. So does government. They put average money on several fields rather than a notable field. Thus, neither children become eminent in one of fields nor government attain the repay, which concur with transcend the budget.

Third, it seems that enhancing children education is more important roe country’ development. However, is it absolutely momentous for increasing children’ education, only when the fundament of society is strengthened by adults. Thereby, reinforcing university education is a essential part of developing society.

In conclusion, I maintain government should give financial assistance to university education. Notable although the benefits of promoting children’ education are, they con not compete with the benefits of strengthening education of university bring about, when fundamental components of society development are taken into deliberation.

qianhuangUID??2766587

5月10日 独立 修改

郝郝同学UID??3024925

2011 5 11 独立
Parents should help their children make decision or children make decision by themselves

With the booming of society, fierce competition is increasing. In order to comply with this circumstance, most parents prefer to help their children decide their future so that children have capability to strengthen themselves rapidly. A few people, however, all their children make decision by themselves because they could obtain the ability of independence. Contrary to most parents, I feel agreement with few parents that children decide their future in their own ways because independent ability is a necessity for their future.

First, making decisions by children is an excellent opportunity to enhance their capability of independence. A promising future for children depends on the requirement during the independent process. Taking college students as an example, they deal with all problems by themselves after they go to the college. Nonetheless, most of them lack of experience regarding managing comparatively considerable money and scheduling their life. Capability plays a significant role at this time. It is apparent that students who once got these experiences are the winner of these fields. Therefore, of particular importance is making decisions by children.

Second, in promoting connection between children and parents lies the advantages of allowing children decide their own future. Comparing with parents’ decisions, children’ decisions are more coincident with their interests. Children and their parents are able to negotiate the decision made by children if parents are willing to compromise. During this communication, a harmony atmosphere delights both parties. For example, a problem, which concerning whether painting skills or music skills to learn, argued by parents and children. Will children be appreciate only when parents make an agreement with children’ decision that learn music skills instead of painting skills. Hence, the more parents respect children’ willingness, the more harmonious their connections are.

Admittedly, it seems much difficult to make right decisions by children own because of lacking social experience. From this aspect, parents are the best directors. In growth period, nevertheless, for children’ understanding involving life, assistance from parents is minor agent. The key agent is their experience to society and requirements of experience. For instance, after rejecting the job schedule by my parents, I knew frustration of finding a gratify job which is departed from my prediction.

In conclusion, considerable though the disadvantages of allowing children to make decision by their own are, the con not compete with the advantages brings about when capability and connection with parents are taken into deliberation.

曾小贤_UID??2980487

2011 5月10 日 独立 For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?7 P. f3 ?4 w' F+ |/ @7 @8 H  @ ' A$ Q" L" I) s1 |9 g! @ With the booming of society, a(an) increasing number of people pay much more attention on education of young generation. There is a touchy problem regarding （in regard of）whether government(governments) should focus more budget on children education or on university students’ education. Most people approve that university students is the mainstream in society, pay more money on them is provident because they feedback society rapidly. A few people believe that government(governments后面都要改) should invest more on children’ education because children in the future of society. Contrary to a few people, my heart feels agreement with most people that university education deserve(deserves) more investment. The reasons are demonstrated as below.8 n: h; a; N" ]- o First, budget of government and profit of college students create have mutual affects. Young adults, few years later, make contributions in every class which(不要which吧) is the result of government nurture. It is assume（assumed） that government pay money on other aspects rather than university education.(这句话起个什么作用？) Apparently, the specific capability of young adults who（不用who吧） is the key of society is decrease the development. For example, a sophomore, one of my friends, study at a prosperous university, （不要逗号吧）which update books of library rapid. Catering to take career examination, material found in library play（plays或者是materials） a significant role so that he passed the examination and then made interests for his companies（几个company？）. Therefore, finical support from government and educated university students, to some extent, affects each other（我认为是mutual benefit吧）.. C. R. c" }' v( ~( z5 `/ R  S Second, strengthen the finical policy on university education lead to lee money consuming（啊？）. Most of college students have their own purpose of their careers. Instead of exploring interests of them, certain direction makes both government and they concentrate on definite fields, which create thrift. (没看懂这一句，求解释)For instance, children education should be various. Parents alter the direction of their learning successively. So does government. They put average money on several fields rather than a notable field. Thus, neither children become eminent in one of fields nor government attain the repay（neither nor是这样用的？）, which concur with transcend the budget. Third, it seems that enhancing children education is more important roe （啊？）country’ development. However, is it absolutely momentous for increasing children’ education, only when the fundament （啊？）of society is strengthened by adults. Thereby, reinforcing university education is a （an）essential part of developing society.: L5 E. B( u2 j1 ? In conclusion, I maintain government should give financial assistance to university education. Notable although the benefits of promoting children’ education are, they con not（啊？） compete with the benefits of strengthening education of university bring about, when fundamental components of society development are taken into deliberation. 看了你对我essay的评价有点无奈。。。我就不主观评价你的了。多练吧。共勉。谢谢批改我的essay。

郝郝同学UID??3024925

41# 曾小贤_
你的水平 是不是 需要多练类？？ 要看的懂 和 会用插入语和 复杂句型哦

tidus_xuanUID??172013

5.11 独立 改好了 谢谢批改我的作业

郝郝同学UID??3024925

2011 5 17 独立
It’s easier to be successful nowadays than past

With the booming of society which abounds with numerous opportunities and challenges, a growing number of people achieved their goals. Some people wondered weather it is easier to be successful nowadays than past? Currently, people held thoroughly different perspective. Most of people approve that success is definitely easier to acquire today because of numerous opportunities and high quality of education. A few people, however, deprecate that opinion because plenty of people, although lived in the past, without that pierce competition, realized their dreams. From my prospective, it is more pertinent to achieve our targets nowadays than past. The reasons are demonstrated as below.

First, considerable opportunities is rendered by modern society which is not offered that many in the past. As we all known, opportunities is premise of success. Without opportunities, talent, for all struggling people, is not able to be elaborated; without opportunities, incipient dreams, supplying them impetus, fade in their brains gradually. Take my grandfather as an example. He is a genius in painting. He, nevertheless, could not found a job related to painting during the past. He had to be a doctor which he did not excel in. Coincidentally, opportunities, not sufficiently offered in the past, are ready for strivers in recent years. Thus, comparing with past, the proportion of success of those people is risen immediately.

Second, comparing with people before, people in our time possess more knowledge, which induces people are more likely to success. As we all known, knowledge is power. Expending horizon, familiarizing cosmopolitan cultures and developing potency are all advantages knowledge brings about and accelerate the rapid of achieving goals. Modern education just gratified people’ requirement. Distinguish with past, prorageting of advanced knowledge increased both people’s level of education and level of skill-ability. For example, Kai Fu, Li, who is a noticeable manager of Microsoft, gained his doctor degree when he was young. He said, his successful career depended on the knowledge he required.
Admittedly, it seems more diffcult to obtain success in our time because pierce competition. In the past, without such fierce competition, people lived leisure life. Since competition emerged into modern society, nonetheless, life was rescheduled. Numerous though the disadvantages fierce competition brings about, they cannot compete with the advantages competition causes when development of society and accomplishment of individual are taken into consideration. For example, a old biological professor of mime told me what he deserved from competition. At the first several years of his work, he lived a boring life which was repeating  same work as yesterday. Fortunately, as time went by, competition was emerging between collages. Impetus competition aroused gave the energy to his work. And he got prises now and then on biology. Hence, nowadays, being fraught with competition, is easier to attain success than past.

In a nutshell, I strongly support the viewpoint that it is easier to be success nowadays than past. All pivots regarding success, like opportunities, education, even competition, are offered by the modern society.

phoenix2011UID??3077553

With the booming of society（我不知道booming可不可以修饰society，感觉一般都是说科技，工业，市场等比较具体的东西，你如果可以确定就用吧。） which abounds with numerous opportunities and challenges, a growing number of people achieved their goals. Some people wondered weather it is easier to be successful nowadays than the past? Currently, people held (hold) thoroughly different perspective. Most of people approve that success is definitely easier to acquire today because of numerous opportunities and high quality of education. A few people, however, deprecate that opinion because plenty of people, although lived in the past, without that pierce是想说竞争激烈么？我在google上搜了下，没这么用的 competition, realized我知道你想说使梦想实现，可是这个是意识到的意思哦 their dreams. From my prospective, it is more pertinent that we (to不要） achieve our targets easier nowadays than past. The reasons are demonstrated as below.

First, considerable opportunities is rendered by modern society which (is)was not offered that many in the past. As we all (known)know这个应该是主动的你也可以说as well known这里就是被动的, opportunities (is)are premise of success. Without opportunities, talent, for all struggling people, is not able to be elaborated; without opportunities, incipient dreams, supplying them impetus, fade in their 这两处指代不明brains gradually. Take my grandfather as an example. He is a genius in painting. He, nevertheless, could not found a job related to painting during the past. He had to be a doctor which he did not excel in. Coincidentally, opportunities, not sufficiently offered in the past, are ready for strivers in recent years. Thus, comparing with past, the proportion用在这里不好，这里在我看来是指success的比例而不是success的人的比例 of success of those people is risen immediately.
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Second, comparing with people before, people in our time possess more knowledge, which induces people are more likely to success. As we all known, knowledge is power. Expending horizon, familiarizing cosmopolitan cultures and developing potency are all advantages knowledge brings about and accelerate the （rapid） process of achieving goals. Modern education just gratified people’ requirement. Distinguish with past, prorageting of advanced knowledge increased both people’s level of education and level of skill-ability. For example, Kai Fu, Li人名不能这么写, who is a noticeable manager of Microsoft, gained his （doctor）doctoral degree when he was young. He said, his successful career depended on the knowledge he required.
Admittedly, it seems more diffcult to obtain success in our time because pierce competition. In the past, without such fierce competition, people lived leisure life. Since competition emerged into modern society, nonetheless, life was rescheduled. Numerous though the disadvantages fierce competition brings about, they cannot compete with the advantages competition causes when development of society and accomplishment of individual are taken into consideration. For example, a old biological professor of mime told me what he deserved from competition. At the first several years of his work, he lived a boring life which was repeating  the same work as yesterday. Fortunately, as time went by, competition was emerging between collages. Impetus competition aroused gave （the） energy to his work. And he got prises now and then on biology. Hence, nowadays, being fraught with competition, is easier to attain success than past.- |) _: s7 z9 J3 r9 C3 Q; M/ A
( [4 {9 r# `8 z* o+ R
In a nutshell, I strongly support the viewpoint that it is easier to be success nowadays than past. All pivots regarding success, like opportunities, education, even competition, are offered by the modern society.写得很好啊，词汇好厉害，害我每次都要放到google里面去查，要是有这个用法就是对的，没这个用法就是错的。
不过我觉得楼主应该摆正观念，就是能用简单句就不要用复杂句，而且文章中放入了太多的插入语，其实一个句子最多两个从句就够了，从句太多影响阅读，不然ets也不会拿很多从句的阅读来考我们GRE了。至于托福这种简单语言考试，目的是看你是否能适应美国生活，其实你只要把一个问题阐述清楚就行了，我搜版上人自己贴出来的满分作文，给我感觉就是没有必要用复杂句子罕见词汇，关键是条例清楚血肉丰富就行了。
个人愚见，仅供参考。