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发表于 2011-5-3 22:26:36 |只看该作者
你的邮箱方便给我么?作文改好了,是word
但我权限不够。。。。
All is well.

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发表于 2011-5-5 11:17:03 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 yecochi 于 2011-5-8 07:16 编辑

0503獨立
謝謝
Agree or disagree: Movies and television should always show audience that good people are rewarded and bad people are punished.


In modern society, movies and television are important in people' lives. Opinion becomes diverse when it comes to whether those movies and TV program should always present that nice people are rewarded while bad guys are punished. Some people believe it should, but others don't think so. In my opinion, I favor the former viewpoint. My argument
for my point is listed as follows.


Admittedly, there are a few disadvantages of always showing bad guys are punished in TV and movies. One of the drawbacks is that it may create a delusion that we live in a just world. We can make things happen as our wish in the plot of shows; that is, bad people are punished. But it doesn't consistent to the reality. There are actually lots of unfairness in our lives.

However, there are still many advantages of presenting just in TV and movies. One of the primary advantages is that we can get refreshed when enjoying those shows. TV and movies function as a kind of entertainment tool. Being worn out by unfairness in daily lives, we can release our emotion during watching those TV and movies showing bad guys are eventually punished. That can provide us with some inspiration.


Another reason why I approve of the statement is that those shows and movies can teach people prevalent ideas. When people watch TV and movies, they also learn about the thoughts revealed in those shows. If young children or teenagers learn about bad guys are rewarded in those shows, they may be influenced in a negative way since they are not mature enough to distinguish whether it is appropriate behavior.


In sum, I reinforce my stance that TV and movies should always show bad people are punished whereas good people are rewarded. Although it may create a delusion to audience, the drawback cannot outweigh the benefits it brings to us: TV and movies can offer/ provide away to educate and entertain people. Only with those factors discussed above can we safely draw to the conclusion that it's better for those shows to present bad guys are punished and good individuals are awarded.
just do it

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发表于 2011-5-7 23:51:14 |只看该作者
5月2日独立
Government should spend money on the education of very young children than that of universities.
) K/ F% }. w( \9 n, w# t7 Y0 [7 K6 H# }$ z2 m7 s
Education plays an essential role in individuals' lives. However, opinions become diverse when it comes to [url=]government'[/url][u1] s investment in the education of very young children or that of college students. In my point of view, I incline the idea that government should spend more money on college education for following reasons.
9 A3 ^: r3 ~. r' V/ ^% ?- s7 k
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First, professional knowledge delivered in college requires lots of expenditure. For one thing, schools need to hire as many professors as possible to teach lectures [url=]in different[/url][u2] fields. For instance, the university [url=]I attend consists of science, engineering and management colleges and [/url][url=]numerous departments[/url][u3] .( 要想要numerous departments[u3] ,最好改一下这句的句式,现在的句式 Chinese English) [u4] It is professors good at various fields that support lectures in those colleges and departments. For another, students need the resource in the library to do their study and research.

6 KLibraries offer us academic books and journals covering vital knowledge, which can facilitate academic learning.4 F2 `2 W/ {9 [5 W, E" n5 y+ {0 A
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Second, advanced equipments in college cost large amount of money. Take myself for example. As a student majoring in chemistry, [url=]we[/url][u5] (是否需和前边I保持一致)have to conduct lots of experiments [url=]in science research[/url][u6] (我不知道这么说对不对?). To draw on a scientific conclusion, we have to provide different data as convince evidence from various instruments, such as Mass and NMR. One of those machines costs over 200 thousands NT dollars.
+ A& O5 n# Z- q; ^# _* y! a6 J
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Finally, although young children's education is also very important, money paid to teachers in primary education may be less than that in college education. Admittedly, the education in our early age is the basement of our later lives. We learn languages, math, music and physical courses in elementary schools. Without general knowledge and training we receive in primary schools, we cannot learn the advanced knowledge and find our own aspiration in future majors. However, qualified teachers teaching general knowledge is easier to be found than those teaching professional knowledge in college,and therefore [url=]exploiting[/url][u7] (这词在这块我觉得不合适) teachers in primary schools is much cheaper.
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In sum, I stress again that funding in college education is more significant than that in young children' education because the huge amount of resource and budgets needed in the former. Although young children's education cannot be ignored, we should still put more money in college education due to the factors discussed above.
大哥的作文符合T的要求,我觉得在字数方面、、、最好还是用简洁的明了且内容丰富的话语来作文,应为我觉得毕竟不是以英语为母语的国度,难免有言多必失的时候。最好做到,见好就收。还好大哥的内容充实,有理有据,举例较为恰当,望再接再厉。祝: 前程似锦!

[u1]S



[u2]In different



[u3]这块不好。



[u4]要想要numerous departments [u4],最好改一下这句的句式
现在的句式 Chinese English



[u5]是否需和前边I保持一致



[u6]我不知道这么说对不对?



[u7]这词在这块我觉得不合适
All is well.

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发表于 2011-5-8 08:41:47 |只看该作者
5月3日 独立 修改因为你的逻辑很清晰,我就没什么需要改的了。语法什么的我挺弱的,很难发现问题。
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

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发表于 2011-5-8 19:14:58 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 yecochi 于 2011-5-8 19:17 编辑

0507綜合 TPO9--the fuel-cell engine
謝謝幫改同學
The reading material and the lecture have opposite attitude toward/ debate
whether the fuel-cell engine can replace the internal-combustion one. The three different viewpoints between the two parties are presented as follows.

In the first place, the professor argues that hydrogen utilized by fuel-cell engine is not easily accessible, which questions the reading part. In the professor's opinion, hydrogen cannot replace petroleum to be fuel. Although the article claims hydrogen can come from various kinds of resource while petroleum is limited, the professor asserts that it takes high technology to purified and storage hydrogen in the form of liquid.

In the second place,the lecturer proposes
the pollution coming with purification of liquid hydrogen, which also casts doubts to the idea that fuel-cell engine produces less pollution. This perspective gives different explanations from the passage because purification of hydrogen consumes large amount of oil and gas. Though the article states that the by-product of fuel-cell engine is only water,the professor indicates that the producing process of its fuel also generates lots of carbon dioxide.

In the third place, the speaker, arguing against the writer's standpoint, highlights/ contends that the fuel-engine may not soon be more economical than the internal-combustion one.While the article states that fuel-cell engine is more efficient than the inner-combustion one[color=windowtext !msorm], the speaker points out the reaction in the former engine requires an extremely expensive catalyst—platinum—the substitute of which has not been found.

In sum, the professor refutes the points made in the reading passage based on the evidence/ facts discussed above.
just do it

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发表于 2011-5-9 12:49:21 |只看该作者
0503 獨立
Agree or disagree: Movies and television should always show audience that good people are rewarded and bad people are punished.


delusion that the real world are just.
function as kind of entertainment tool.
teach people prevalent ideas

In modern society, movies and television are important in people' lives. Opinion becomes diverse when it comes to whether those movies and TV program should always present that nice people are rewarded while bad guys are punished. Some people believe it should, but others don't think so. In my opinion, I favor the former viewpoint. My arguementargument for my point is listed as follows. (A good beginning, worth studying)

Admittedly, there are a few disadvantages of always showing bad guys are punished in TV and movies. One of the drawbacks is that it may create a delusion that we live in a just world. We can make things happen as our wish in the plot of shows; that is, bad people are punished. But it doesn't consistent to the reality. There are actually lots of unfairness in our lives.

However, there are still many advantages of
presenting just in TV and movies. One of the primary advantages is that we can get refreshed when enjoying those shows. TV and movies function as a kind of entertainment tool. Being worn out by unfairness in daily lives, we can release our emotion during watching those TV and movies that showing bad guys are eventually punished. That can provide us with some inspiration.


Another reason why I approve of the statement is that those shows and movies can teach people prevalent ideas. When people watch TV and movies, they als o learn about the thoughts which revealed in those shows. If young children or teenagers learn about bad guys are rewarded in those shows, they may be influenced in a negative way since they are not mature enough to distingush distinguish whether it is appropriate behavior.

In sum, I reinforece reinforce my stance that TV and movies should always show bad people are punished whereas good people are rewarded. Although it may create a delusion to audience, the drawback cannot outweigh the benefits it brings to us: TV and movies can provides offer/ provide a way to educate and entertain people. Only with those factors discussed above can we salely safely draw to the conclusion that it's better for those shows to present bad guys are punished and good individuals are awarded.

36.5 min
357 words

good: warm-hearted, kind, generous
bad: evil, inhuman, unkind, cruel
I am not seasoned at grammar, so let me say something about structure,
开头很好,简洁明了的说明了自己的将要论证的内容,和自己的观点。
观点的阐述也好,就是拼写要注意一下,不过能在 in 36.5 second 内能写出这样的文章也很不易了。遣词造句的能力也很在行。
第三段和第四段的论点也较充足。
望继续努力。
顺带问一下,sister文章中的“套句”是在那里找到的呢?
如果是电子版的,可否能send me 呢?
套句用的很好。
望继续努力。
All is well.

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发表于 2011-5-9 23:02:32 |只看该作者
0509 獨立

agree or disagree: People cansolve important problems by themselves or with the help from their familymembers so there's no need for the government to help them.



Receiving assistancemay be the shared experience of many people. However, opinions become diversewhen it comes to the necessary of government's help. Some people think thatindividuals can solve problem merely by themselves or with their family'sassistance, while others don't agree with that. In my point of view, I preferthe later statement. My argument for my point is listed as follows.


Admittedly, familymembers can provide us instant help when we encounter problems. Family is mostclose to us and most care about us. We can turn to them when meeting someproblems. For instance, my father has once lost his car. Although the policeofficer can help him find his car, it is we that can pick up him in commutingor lend another car to him.


However, there arestill many advantage of government's assistance. One of the primary benefits isthat government can collect many resources to solve a significant problem.Preventing and recovering from disasters is one of the examplesfor solving a problem by government. Taiwanese is threaten by typhoons andearth quakes. Government can build a alert system to inform people when thenatural disaster may come. If, unfortunately, the catastrophe happens,government can recruit the force and raise funding to help victims rebuildtheir homes.


Anotherreason why I favor the above statement is that government has the power toachieve something our family members can’t do. An example about the importanceof government's help is recovering from economic recession. In 2008 happens theglobal recession. Numerous companies ran into the risk of deficit and thereforemany people became unemployment. It is government takes measures to helpeconomy recover. Taiwan'sgovernment issues the bonds to people to stimulate the economy, which citizensare not capable to do.





In sum, although there are some advantages offamily’s help, these cannot outweigh the wide positive benefits that government’sassistance bring to us. Family can lend us instanthelp, while government can give us further important assistance which familycan’t. Onlywith the factors and examples discussed above can we safely draw the conclusionthat it is essential for the government to help its citizens.
just do it

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发表于 2011-5-10 12:13:11 |只看该作者
0509 独立

网盘:
http://u.115.com/file/e6cl1d7e
苦一下自己。总是好的。

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