yecochi的TOEFL daily writing

yecochiUID: 2693601

4/9 综合： TPO5
Thanks for correcting it!

The lecture and the readingpassage both discuss the theory about how the great houses were used. However, the professor casts doubt to theviewpoints made in the passage.


First, the professor points outthe function of Chaco houses couldn't beresidential. He says that although there are rooms accommodatinghundreds of families, the fire place inside the house could only sustaina few families’ daily cooking. This contradicts with the passagementioning the Chaco houses looks similar to apartment buildings at Taos.


Second, there is no convincingevidence supporting the house's role storing food supplies, according to thelecture. The passage mentions the great size of the house could provide roomfor maize storage. However, the professor claims that excavation around thehouses didn't cover traces of maize and its containers. Therefore, he arguesagainst that the house functioned as a place for food supplies storage.


Finally, the professor argues thatthe house couldn't be a ceremonialcenters. Besides a large number of pots, the excavation of the mound alsorevealed lots of building material, such as stone and construction tools, saysthe professor. He proposes that the mound could be utilized to stock the wastematerial from the house construction, and thus the pots might be regular trashleft by construction workers. This contradicts with the reading passageindicating that the pots could come from ceremonies when people enjoyed festivefood.


In sum, theprofessor, refuting the viewpoints in the passage, considers the proposedexplanations are questionable.

由於下載doc.檔無法使用，麻煩修改作文的同學把文章直接貼在帖子  感激不盡!

Yvaine198831UID: 2956487

The lecture and the readingpassage both discuss the theory about how the great houses were used. However, the professor casts doubt to（on） theviewpoints made in the passage.

First, the professor points outthe function of Chaco houses couldn't be residential. He says that although there are rooms accommodatinghundreds of families, the fire place inside the house could only sustaina few families’ daily cooking. This contradicts with the passagementioning the Chaco houses looks similar to apartment buildings at Taos.

Second, there is no convincingevidence supporting the house's role storing food supplies, according to thelecture. The passage mentions the great size of the house could provide roomfor maize storage. However, the professor claims that excavation around thehouses didn't cover traces of maize and its containers. Therefore, he arguesagainst that the house functioned as a place for food supplies storage.有个比较明显的区别是，地上有散落的玉米粒。

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Finally, the professor argues thatthe house couldn't be a ceremonialcenters. Besides a large number of pots, the excavation of the mound alsorevealed lots of building material, such as stone and construction tools, saysthe professor. He proposes that the mound could be utilized to stock the wastematerial from the house construction, and thus the pots might be regular trashleft by construction workers. This contradicts with the reading passage indicating that the pots could come from ceremonies when people enjoyed festivefood.
写的还是比较清楚的。但是还是要paraphrase的。而且如果听力材料里面没有出现的情况，一定不要写。

Yvaine198831UID: 2956487

你的这个复制下来看，特别的费劲，很多的词都连在一起了。下次可以写好之后复制在这个上面再发。小建议。 1# yecochi

yecochiUID: 2693601

謝謝你! 下次我會注意!

yecochiUID: 2693601

4/12 獨立
謝謝幫忙改的同學
Topic: Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good?

Progress, by definition, means making something better. However, improvement on one thing might cause damages on the other. By this thought, progress would not be beneficial. In my opinion, we can not neglect benefits progress creates in the scope of technology development and social custom, though it could also bring about negative influence.

Admittedly, technology development results in pollution nowadays. People exploit the resource on the earth to make products. But, the waste from producing process is harmful to the environment. Electricity power, for example, could be generated from nuclear power, the waste of which is dangerous. The metabolism of creatures may be damaged when they are exposed to the radiation from nuclear waste. Also, electricity could come from batteries. Yet, the waste from batteries factories may contaminate rivers and the ocean.

However, technology also enhances our quality of lives. There are various kinds of invention today, which the people in the past cannot imagine. For example, transportation system benefits people by saving their time on traveling and commuting. Household appliance make household stuff easily completed. Further, gadgets, such as MP3, can bring us music as entertainment. Moreover, we can save our physical strength by taking elevators upstairs. People in several hundreds of years ago might enjoy those inventions if they are born nowadays. Technology development indeed brings us lots of advantages.

Moreover, progress in the social custom creates more opportunities. For example, the status of women in society has been largely improved than ever before. Women can receive education and devote themselves to workforce today, which were impossible in the past. They gain more chances to live better lives; meanwhile, their workplaces benefits from the advantages particularly belonging to women. Amiable beauties can somewhat reduce hostilities in the company and help it with warm customer services. Involvement of women also offers the workforce chances to be better.

In sum, though some negative effects come with progress, those disadvantages cannot outweigh its wide positive impact on people's lives. By the example of technology development, we see the advantages it provides, though it accompanies with a few drawbacks. In addition, the elevated status of women shows the benefits from the progress of social customs. Therefore, progress still brings about many benefits and is generally good.
由於下載doc.檔無法使用，麻煩修改作文的同學把文章直接貼在帖子  感激不盡!

tulipzongUID: 2803521

4.12
sorry，那天临时有事，我用审阅改的，只能发文档。。。

corrine97UID: 2868974

4.12独立改
不好意思~~现在才给你发作文~~其实我没有写这篇作文~~所以不知道要修改~~后来看了安排才知道有跟你一组
所以改得不好的地方包含一下咯~

yecochiUID: 2693601

0421 independent writting
Topic:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities.

Opinions become diverse when it comes to media's attention on the personal lives of famous people. Some people may enjoy those subjects on media, while others think media's disclosure of those subjects brings about negative influence. In my opinion, media's over-reporting those subjects bothers celebrities' private lives and lessens other news' importance, yet probably not for its own sake.

Admittedly, reporting personal lives of celebrities may be attributed to audience's expectation and celebrities' intention. General population is interested in gossip about famous people. Public figures and celebrities may therefore utilize media to popularize themselves. Consequently, media seem to be justified in not only presenting those kinds of information, but pursuing their profits by this way.

However, in spite of their own economic interests, media should realize the following drawbacks they cause by underlining those people's wealth and juicy stories. First, revealing the private lives of celebrities may make troubles for them. Paparazzi always look for something about those figures, whether it is merely ordinary news or not. This could disturb the private lives of celebrities and bring about lots of stress on them. In addition, the leaked wealth may put their family members in danger. Media often reveal how many financial rewards public figures earn in their concerts, which may cause that their children run the risk of being kidnapped.

Second, too much emphasis on juicy stories undermines the importance of other social and political news. A concrete example, a popular sport figure--Tiger Woods--and his sexual misconduct, reveals/ implies this problem clearly. His extra-marital affair becomes every media's focus and therefore other important business is utterly ignored. Such scandals and love affairs of public figures were inflated into epic proportions, in the end leading the obstruction of other significant news, such as governmental decisions.

In sum, due to the suffering of those figures and the displacement of other important news, media should restrict their focus on famous people's private lives. Despite this subject somewhat satisfying the needs of audience and celebrities, media should carefully consider the negative impact of paying too much attention on it.

JoyceJingYangUID: 3052237

0421 independentwritting[x1]
Topic:- _/ K# R# k, |' ]# d
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?% s( m5 B, k, p0 N
Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities.2 H+ R2 x4 a( n

& k  X, ^$ K) xOpinions become diverse when it comes to media's attention on the personal lives of famous people. Some people may enjoy those subjects on media, while others think media's disclosure of those subjects brings about negative influence. In my opinion, media's over-reporting those subjects bothers celebrities' private lives and lessens other news' importance, yet probably not for its own sake. 9 O! M  ?+ b# M) d4 b7 @/ Z
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Admittedly, reporting personal lives of celebrities may be attributed to audience's expectation and celebrities' intention. General population is interested in gossip about famous people. Public figures and celebrities may therefore utilize media to popularize themselves. Consequently, media seem to be justified [url=]in not only presenting those kinds of information, but pursuing their profits by this way.[/url]" [x2] E. X/ t$ G& R& V) \% b& J
) ~: @( m5 c5 e( N5 z
However, in spite of their own economic interests, media should realize the following drawbacks they cause by underlining those people's wealth and juicy stories. First, revealing the private lives of celebrities may make troubles for them. Paparazzi always look for something about those figures, whether it is merely ordinary news or not. This could disturb the private lives of celebrities and bring about lots of stress on them. In addition, [url=]the leaked wealth[/url][x3] may put their family members in danger. Media often reveal how many financial rewards public figures earn in their concerts, which may cause that their children run the risk of being kidnapped.5 j/ J; \# u; q0 L7 h( z
% x8 {' \! @" x/ r$ w0 }' I
Second, too much emphasis on juicy stories undermines the importance of other social and political news. A concrete example, a popular sport figure--Tiger Woods--and his sexual misconduct, reveals/ implies this problem clearly. His extra-marital affair becomes every [url=]media's [/url][x4] focus and therefore other important business is utterly ignored. Such scandals and love affairs of public figures were inflated into epic proportions, in the end leading the obstruction of other significant news, such as governmental decisions.
: ~- ]! Q' |% `% S3 t$ H5 Z" Z! \( Q0 T/ t' S5 }3 @
In sum, due to the suffering of those figures and the displacement of other important news, media should restrict their focus on famous people's private lives. [url=]Despite this subject somewhat satisfying the needs of audience and celebrities[/url]

[x5] , media should carefully consider the negative impact of paying too much attention on it.


写的挺好的，观点清晰，也很concrete, 遣词造句方面技巧，手法方面也很好，要是再注意一些小细节就更好了，一起加油哦~~~>o<

[x1]wrting



[x2]in that it not only presents those kinds of information, but also pursues their profits by this way.仔细查了灵格斯的牛津高阶，貌似没有justify后面接in的情况，所以就改成表原因的从句了哈~~



[x3]感觉有点歧义，虽然作为中国人的咱是看的懂你的意思，但不知外国人怎么想。改成the leaked news about wealth怎么样呢？



[x4]medium’s 呵呵，小细节



[x5]语法不对，despite+n/名词性结构，实在没想好怎么改，只好忍痛割爱，选低级的although this subject somewhat satisfies the needs of audience and celebrities






可能有些地方我改的不一定对，我也刚开始写托福作文，大家多多指点哈~

yecochiUID: 2693601

0427獨立

Topic: Teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform.


In modern society, employers would pay their employee according to their performance, so it seems reasonable to apply this rule to education. Some people incline to approve that teacher's salary should be adjusted to their students' performance, while others don't think so. In my point of view, although it is a good way to encourage teachers' hardworking by unfixed salary, it’s unreasonable for teachers’ salary to be determined by students’ performance due to the difficulties in evaluation.

Admittedly, fixed payment may result in teacher's being sluggish in their teaching. A job is the expression of one’s vocation and career. Yet we work not only for fulfillment but for money. When being involved in teaching longer and longer, teachers may gradually become fed up in their jobs. This time, if teachers receive the same salary no matter how their students perform well, they may lose their ambition to pay utterly careful attention in their instruction. On contrast, rewards base on their students’ performance may lend them with motivation in their jobs.

However, student's performance is so difficult to become a standard in assessment. First, students' grades may not increase in proportion to teachers' effort. Achievements of students vary with their inclination/tendency even though they receive the same quality of education. Students are born with different talents. Some cannot get good grades even though they work pretty hard, while some are reluctant to obey teachers' commands regardless of teachers’ urges. Therefore, students’ failure in learning may not bear a direct relation to teachers’ laziness.

Second, we cannot judge whether students are successful or not by standard measurement. The purpose of education is put students in the position in which they are suitable after graduation. Education should function to help students develop their aspiration. Teachers play a role to assist students to find out their future goal and help them overcome the difficulties on the road. It's hard to evaluate the efficiency of instruction since students have different inclinations and aspirations.

In sum, it is unfair for teachers to be paid according to students' accomplishment which may not be consistent to teachers' effort in teaching them and which may be too diverse to be evaluated in a same standard. Though unfixed rewards might provide a way to spur teachers' hardworking, we should consider this measure inappropriate since the factors discussed above.

kusehexingUID: 2607458

0427獨立修改
Topic: Teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform.

In modern society, employers would pay their employee according to their performance, so it seems reasonable to apply this rule to education. Some people incline to approve that teacher's salary should be adjusted to their students' performance(前面改成teachers' salaries或后面改成his), while others don't think so. In my point of view, although it is a good way to encourage teachers' hardworking by unfixed salary, it’s unreasonable for teachers’ salary(salaries) to be determined by students’ performance due to the difficulties in evaluation.

Admittedly, fixed payment may result in teacher's(teachers) being sluggish in their teaching. A job is the expression of one’s vocation and career. Yet we work not only for fulfillment but for money.When(去掉when) being involved in teaching longer and longer, teachers may gradually become fed up in(with) their jobs. This time(At this time), if teachers receive the same salary no matter how their students perform well, they may lose their ambition to pay utterly careful (去掉careful，有whole attention，但好像没见过careful attention) attention in their instruction. On contrast, rewards base（based） on their students’ performance may lend them with motivation(你再确定一下是否有lend sb with sth 的结构) in their jobs.

However, students' performance is so difficult to become a standard（standardize） in assessment. First, students' grades may not increase in proportion to teachers' effort. Achievements of students vary with their inclination/tendency even though they receive the same quality of education. Students are born with different talents. Some cannot get good grades even though they work pretty hard, while some are reluctant to obey teachers' commands regardless of teachers’ urges. Therefore, students’ failure in learning may not bear a direct relation to teachers’ laziness.

Second, we cannot judge whether students are successful or not by standard measurement. The purpose of education is to put students in the position in (去掉in) which they are suitable after graduation. Education should function to help students develop their aspirations. Teachers play a role to assist (in assisting) students to find out（set） their future goal and help(helping) them overcome the difficulties on the road to realize their goal. It's hard to evaluate the efficiency of instruction since students have different inclinations and aspirations.

In sum, it is unfair for teachers to be paid according to students' accomplishments which may not be consistent to (with) teachers' efforts in teaching them and which may be too diverse to be evaluated in a same standard. Though unfixed rewards might provide a way to spur teachers' hardworking, we should consider this measure inappropriate since the factors discussed above.

sherry901UID: 3021524

语法结构不是我擅长的，所以小错误我忽略了。整篇文章感觉很OK.无论从逻辑还是用词还是结构都很符合ETS的作文模式。唯一觉得需要改进的是example，整篇文章都是泛泛而谈的，最好加一点具体的例子，可以更贴近自己的生活，这样会更有真实感。

yecochiUID: 2693601

0502獨立，謝謝幫改同學

Government should spend money on the education of very young children than that of universities.

Education plays an essential role in individuals' lives. However, opinions become diverse when it comes to government' investment in the education of very young children or that of college students. In my point of view, I incline the idea that government should spend more money on college education for following reasons.

First, professional knowledge delivered in college requires lots of expenditure. For one thing,schools need to hire as many professors as possible to teach lectures indifferent fields. For instance, the university I attend consists of science, engineering and management colleges and numerous departments. It is professors good at various fields that support lectures in those colleges and departments. For another, students need the resource in the library to do their study and research.
Libraries offer us academic books and journals covering vital knowledge, which can facilitate academic learning.

Second, advanced equipments in college cost large amount of money. Take myself for example. As a student majoring in chemistry, we have to conduct lots of experiments in science research. To draw on a scientific conclusion, we have to provide different data as convince evidence from various instruments, such as Mass and NMR. One of those machines costs over 200 thousands NT dollars.

Finally, although young children's education is also very important, money paid to teachers in primary education may be less than that in college education. Admittedly, the education in our early age is the basement of our later lives. We learn languages, math, music and physical courses in elementary schools. Without general knowledge and training we receive in primary schools, we cannot learn the advanced knowledge and find our own aspiration in future majors. However, qualified teachers teaching general knowledge is easier to be found than those teaching professional knowledge in college,and therefore exploiting teachers in primary schools is much cheaper.

In sum, I stress again that funding in college education is more significant than that in young children' education because the huge amount of resource and budgets needed in the former. Although young children's education cannot be ignored, we should still put more money in college education due to the factors discussed above.

qianhuangUID: 2766587

5月2日 独立 修改