qfaith的作文帖，fighting~~~

qfaithUID: 2657846

5.6 独立 和综合

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

补上5.5 独立了，交晚了，抱歉，麻烦给批改下~~
批改的下午传上~

hyliu1-08UID: 3063421

5月6日 综合改

qianhuangUID: 2766587

5月6日 综合 修改

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

5.5独立改好了~ 13# qfaith

qfaithUID: 2657846

5.7 独立+综合

qianhuangUID: 2766587

5月7日 独立 修改

zjxdxokzzyUID: 3072531

For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?



There is an old saying that education should be started from children. But when compared with university education, which is more important,(前面用逗号隔开了，这里也用个逗号比较好）it(否则没主语了) is really a tough topic. For(From) my perspective, the answer of this problem depends on cases and in my country, the government should focus its budget more on universities.
In my cooutry, college is the right(我觉得用right不太合适) place where most of people get their advanced knowledge and work skills. The quality and knowledge level of people directly influence(这里+s 单数吧?) a country’s development. Since our country is right in the stage of speedy develop, the need of highly knowledgable and skilled people resouce(resource,而且用resources复数更好吧) is more eager（than the developed countries. 既然用了more，把than写上会比较好）. In order to satisfy the vancy（vacancy）, the government certainly should pay more attention to education in universities.
As we all know, most scientific research achievements which are critical for development of humans are born in university. University is not just（一般用only吧） a place to train talents but also a place to hold scientists and researchers. The level of a country’s university education represents its scientific level. However, it is a fact that our
country’s university education level cannot compete with some western countries now. This phenomenon gives rise to loss of intellegents, which will badly affect the country’s advancement in technology and economy. Investing more money to improve the facilities and give teachers better benefit are efficient methods to change the situation.

Let me take my home province for example. There is(are) no big and top universities in my province. Many students must choose to go far away to get good education. They study outside and work outside. As a consequence, less talents stay. What is worse is that fewer(不用比较级) high-tech companies would like to invest in my province because there is few researching institutes which in turn exacerbate the loss of intelligent people.
Those all serioucly affect the local development. The situation in our neighbor province is just in the opposite. They have some top-class universities and attract many bit companies there. Their GDP is much higher than ours every year.
All in all, for my country, it is a wise and necessary decision for the government to pay more budgets to university education.

这是我第一次改，有不足请见谅。。 感觉你的思路好好啊，能否交流下 QQ517885057

qfaithUID: 2657846

我有些点听的是不太准确  又听了一边 19# hyliu1-08

liwu1028UID: 2921130

5月6独立

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:

Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term？

Young people usually don’t know what they like to do and what they are good at to do after graduation. In my opinion, this is mainly because they have no experiences in society. So I totally agree with the view that young should try different job(jobs)
before they dicide
(decide)which they will do in a long term.

First of all, realty(reality) often has disparity with ideal. Information we get about a job or a career often comes from imagination or rummer. We can never get our own opinion about it except we do it by ourselves. Through experiencing different jobs, we can gain first hand situation and choose which is our favour. When I graduated from university, I thought being a saleswoman was really cool. So I gave up my major and become(became)
a sales person of women’s makeup. About a year later, I realized it was ancually boring and tired of selling products and(so) I returned to be a computer engineer. If not being it by myself, I would never know that the sales job is not proper for me.

What’s more, young people especially just graduated students have little knowledge abour
(about) the society. Trying to have various work experiences can rich their(人称有些混乱，上面用的第一人称这里变成了第三人称)

brain and broaden their herizon.(horizon) Working in different areas, we can meet all
kinds of people and encounter various things. We can learn many communicational skills and abilities to deal with different things. Those skill(s)and ability(abilities) will benefit us a lot through our lifetime.
Last but nor (not)least, the young tend to be fickle. Wandering in job market for a while can calm us down and make us concentrate on what we choose as a long career finally,Althoughit will take some time for us to find the proper job or career, after getting it, we will be more intentional on our work than those who are struggling in an unlike(不喜欢？没这个意思吧) job.

To sum up, the advantages of experiencing various job overweight the disvantages. It can help us find our favourite career and rich our social experiences. Those abilities developed during that time will also make us more exercellent in our final work. In a wordm young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term

总体很不错但稍微注意一下细节和拼写

niehanmjUID: 3005699

同学你的5.9综合呢~

qfaithUID: 2657846

5.9 综合 TOp11

lavinia7479UID: 3025869

Hi, where is your 獨立寫作?

niehanmjUID: 3005699

改好了