求各位好心的大大帮我修改我的作文

linzhi26281957UID: 2871802

这个是我第一次写的托福作文，算是处女作， 可能会写的很烂的吧。希望大家给我板砖！
所有批评我都虚心接受。
由于平时上课很久，不能参加主题活动的每日作文，只能这么样的来发帖求修改作文。希望有好心人能帮我。

没有找到上传附件的选项，只好把文章贴到这里了。
作文题：
Do you agree or not with following statement: most people solve their important problems with the help from their families; the help from government is not necessary.


正文：
    Imagine this: One day, there is a crucial problem we must solve it right now. It is easy to find two ways, with the help from our families or government, to solve your problem. Which way do you choose? As my view, the preference of solving the problem considered as efficiency is choosing our families to give us a hand.
    As we known, families are the people who can not instead of and are the most relative people with us rather than others, even the strangers. In order to solving the problem in time, our families will try their best to accomplish the question no matter what the way they use. However, opposing in our families, government has so many work, involve traffic, accommodation and so on, to do that less attention will pay to our problem.
The other thing is it is convenient to communicate our families, ascribing to that we can keep the process with each other as soon as possible. Otherwise, the relationships of the families are also the potential and strong power can help us to accomplish the problem perfectly.
    The other choice, asking for help from government, has some disadvantages. It is inconvenient that we should make an appointment and inefficient if we hope to ask help for government. Namely, the government has no obligation to solve everyone’s problem because some problems we can solve by ourselves can not resort to our government.
    To conclusion, the advantages solving significant problems with the help from our families give us abundant reasons it is better than from the government. The government is also a powerful helper, of course, however, its duty is solve the problem about our city and our life rather than our individual important problems. That is to say, I stand by seeking the assistances from families.

wuqian0801UID: 2637709

一看。字數少了點吧..

linzhi26281957UID: 2871802

字数不少，够了300的