Daily Writing 多希望我能坚持

唾弃UID: 2999052

标题都被我写错了啊！我非常苦逼的在申请成功后还要考托福，我之前从来没考过啊啊啊！作文也一贯很烂尤其是限时写作啊啊啊！我豁出一张老脸来求拍砖啊！
先贴一篇我最近写的最好的……想让国宝姐姐给看看……

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

Some people think that sports and social activities are at the same importance level as the classes and libraries on campus of universities and colleges. I doubt this assertion.

Firstly, the main purpose for students to attend a university or a college is learning professional knowledge or expertise. And the current design of the universities is aiming to provide good conditions for learning and researching, not for sports or social activities. This original design has been fixed since the first university was established. At that time, university is a place for the people who from decent level of the society and they don't need to worried about their life expenses so that they could concentrate on learning and study. Nowadays, though joining the university has become a commonplace for the mass, the tradition of the university spirit should be reserved: that is learning is the most important thing in universities.

Secondly, the students can find other place outside the campus to entertain and get to know other persons. Actually, it's hard to find pure surroundings outside the campus. Almost all the other public spaces are prepared for social interaction and entertainment. It's also easy to find place for sports. Even if there is no particular place for students for social and sports, it will not be a problem for them to communicate and entertain. Social skills could be trained in their daily life in universities. It's not necessary to set up a funding to support these activities.

Thirdly, the financial support for universities should be used appropriately. Inviting more excellent professors and purchasing more valuable books are far more important than any other thing in university. The behavior of the university will affect the students' mind. If they use the funding mostly on other purposes, it will leave an impression to the students that learning is not the most important thing in university. It's also mischief for the development of the universities because the donors may be disappointed by the universities and won't donate for it anymore.

In addition, we should consider the problem in the panorama of the whole society. As many other institutions, university has its own responsibility to the society. It's a paradise of knowledge and the last pure land for thinking. It should therefore provide the expected service to the public. If it also thinks highly of sports and social activities, it’s a waste of resource because there are other particular institutions for such functions. The modern society is designed to be balance among its function modules.

In conclusion, I believe that the university should focus on its education function and pay less attention on others. It doesn't mean that I disagree with the comprehensive development of students. But I think the social skills and health body should be obtained in other place. It's not necessary for the university or college to provide such opportunity for students. The current society is utilitarian and full of vanity, and the campus should reserve some calm and purity for people. I reckon that the financial support should mainly pay for the classes and libraries to offer perfect surroundings for studying instead of entertaining or social activities.

唾弃UID: 2999052

2# 啊啊111 同学，要不你先给我看看作文好吗，要不然不要做广告好吗……

mpromanusUID: 2565872

1# 唾弃

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

Some people think that sports and social activities are at the same importance level as the classes and libraries on campus of universities and colleges. I doubt this assertion.

Firstly, the main purpose for students to attend a university or a college is learning professional knowledge or expertise. (Actually a lot of students in the US/UK do view the university as a way to get away from parents and get their own social lives..but that’s perhaps just a result of tertiary education getting much more widespread than it should be.) And the current design of the universities is aiming to provide good conditions for learning and researching, not for sports or social activities. This original
(So the design is both ‘current’ and ‘original’..I’m not sure what you mean by ‘original’ here but it doesn’t quite fit with ‘current’.)
design has been fixed since the first university was established. At that time, university was a place for the people who from decent level of the society
(This is quite a weird expression. Do you mean ‘people who are reasonably well-off’?) and they don't need to worry about their life expenses so that they could concentrate on learning and studies. Nowadays, though joining the university has become a commonplace for the mass, the tradition of the university spirit should be reserved: that is, learning is the most important thing in universities. (Right, but why must this be reflected through classes and libraries? Why not invest in good teaching practices and maybe small class sizes if you say learning is the most important thing in universities? There are so many things in ‘learning’, and you can’t just assume ‘classes and libraries’ == ‘learning’ without proper validation of your assumption. In other words, you are expected to prove A > B, but you only proved C > B. You need to establish A == C before the logic can work.)

Secondly, the students can find other places outside the campus to entertain themselves and get to know other persons (Good rephrase.). Actually, it's hard to find pure surroundings? (What do you mean by ‘pure surroundings’?) outside the campus. Almost all the other public spaces are prepared for social interaction and entertainment. It's also easy to find place for sports. Even if there is no particular place for students for social and sports (You mean, ‘on campus’?), it will not be a problem for them to communicate and entertain. Social skills could be trained in their daily life in universities. It's not necessary to set up a funding to support these activities.


Thirdly, the financial support for universities should be used appropriately. Inviting more excellent professors and purchasing more valuable books are far more important than any other thing in university. The behavior of the university will affect the students' mind. If they use the funding mostly on other purposes, it will leave an impression to the students that learning is not the most important thing in university. It's also mischief for the development of the universities because the donors may be disappointed by the universities and won't donate for it anymore. (Again, as said, does ‘learning’ only mean good professors and more valuable books? You’re basically building much of your argument on this assumption without validating it.)

In addition, we should consider the problem in the panorama of the whole society. As many other institutions, the university has its own responsibility to the society. It's a paradise of knowledge and the last pure land for thinking (Oh you really think so..alright..) It should therefore provide the expected service to the public. If it also thinks highly of sports and social activities, it’s a waste of resources because there are other particular institutions for such functions. The modern society is designed to be balanced among its function modules. (Well, I can surely argue that knowledge comes from many aspects, both academic and non-academic..thus your thinking about ‘knowledge’ is narrow if you consider university should not invest in anything else other than academic training. Even today, dedicated sports institutions still provide basic general education to its students, so why shouldn’t universities provide some support to sports? We are not asking universities to provide sports education here – just support of sport activities, so that students may enjoy a fuller life during their tertiary education and more well-rounded knowledge. This is just to show you an example of how easy it may be to refute your argument because, again, you have this assumption of ‘learning/knowledge == classes, libraries, thinking, and nothing else’, which is not established properly.)

In conclusion, I believe that the university should focus on its educational function and pay less attention on others. It doesn't mean that I disagree with the comprehensive development of students. But I think the social skills and healthy body should be obtained in other places. It's not necessary for the university or college to provide such opportunity for students. The current society is utilitarian and full of vanity, and the campus should reserve some calm and purity for people (So are you saying supporting sports and social activities will make the campus ‘impure’? That’s a rather interesting, if not naïve, thought..). I reckon that the financial support should mainly pay for the classes and libraries to offer perfect surroundings for studying instead of entertaining or social activities.

总结：

语言没什么大问题，就是点题不清。。你说来说去基本就是建立在‘大学的主要目的是学习所以学习就要弄好class和library’这一点上。。但是，如我在评语里说的，‘学习’这个东西太宽泛了，你凭什么认为学习就等于class和library不能是别的？所以你最后证明的是‘大学应该把funding集中在学习上’而不是‘大学应该把funding集中在class和library上’。。我能猜到你的意思是‘学习的主要体现就是class和library’，但是这句话你必须明确地写出来才算。。不要想当然，不要认为你觉得很理所当然的东西是人人都能领会的上级精神，多问自己我为什么是这样想的。

唾弃UID: 2999052

4# mpromanus 谢谢国宝姐姐！真的很感动帮我做了这么详细的批改！尤其是指出了我逻辑上的问题，我好像一贯有这样的毛病，以后一定要注意了。其实我真不是像文章里这么想的，只是觉得如果站在另外的立场上要阐述两方面的重要性，所以就选择了一边倒的立场……果然这样写出来连我自己都说服不了啊。

唾弃UID: 2999052

TPO3 Integrated Writing

A painting of Rembrandt has been considered to be a counterfeit according to the reading material while the speaker illustrates that it might be indeed drawn by Rembrandt.

It is true that the woman in the painting is dressed weirdly with the luxurious fur collar and a servant-like coat. But in the cast the speaker provide with new evidence that the fur collar was added on the painting hundreds of years after the creating of the original portrait. Removed the later layer of the painting, there is no such inconsistent accessory but a realistic image of a woman servant appears. The experts thought the fur collar is added in order to promote the status of the figure in the painting for a consideration of profit.

Another point of the reading material is the confusing application of light and shadow. The unreasonable phenomenon is also caused by the added layer. Without the fur collar, in the original layer of the painting, the woman’s face is not supposed to be in partial shadow. In fact the light and shadow in the original portrait are in a perfect harmony as people expect.

As for the back of the portrait, the speaker says that the glued pieces of wood are not the original back but was attached to the panel to enlarge the painting with the intension to make it more grand and valuable. Moreover, the panel has been discovered to be derived from the same tree with the panel of another work of Rembrandt which is a self portrait in hat.

In conclusion, this painting is truly created by Rembrandt but has been decorated with unsuitable segment and enlarged with glued pieces of wood.

唾弃UID: 2999052

In twenty years, there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.

With the advent and popularity of car since 19th Century, many merits has been brought while more and more problems are emerging. As far as I concerned, in the next couple decades, the purchase of cars will decrease and the owners of car will less depend on driving gradually. I am going to illustrate my opinon in tree means.

First of all, traffic jam which is caused by the exposure of numbers of private cars has become the most annoying problem in metropolises. The poor traffic condition makes it not convenient anymore by travelling by car in large cities. At the same time, the public transportation are being constructed more convenient than before to fullfill the needs of people to travel. It can be inferred that more and more people will choose to take public transpotations instead of driving in next several years.

In addition, environmental pollution is another seriousely international problem and a main pollution source is the waste fume emitted by the cars. To solve this problem, many laws and regulations about controlling the emission of cars have been enacted all over the world. For example, in Beijing, only the cars with certain number are allowed to be on the road in corresponding days. In the aspect of people’s mind, the conscious of protecting the environment has been increased these years and people are convincing themselves to decrease the use of cars voluntarily. I reckon that this trend will continue in the following decades.

Besides, the resources limit the production of cars and raise the price of gasoline so that the cost of owning and using a car will hike which may lead to the descending of the purchase of cars. The prosperity of car market need not only the customers but also the producers. The raw materials of car such as iron and copper limited and the price of them are increasing, such situation is hampering the expansion of aotumobile industry. Another limiting reason is the petroleum resource. The price of gasoline are always climbing up so that it is becoming harder for users to afford the ordinary expenses of driving. Though there has been produced cars with electricity motivation, it's more affordable for people to choose public transportaion obviously.

Though I'm positive with the decreasing use of cars in twenty years, I don't think the situation will change rapidly. Cars has been invented for more than 100 years, it should take an even longer period to disappear from the stage of history. Or human can invent another transportation to entirely replace cars in the future.

The excessive growth of cars has caused many problems which are urgent for the governments and people to resolve. Moreover, the expense of driving is increasing. As a result, the automobile industry is going to wither and the using of car will decsend gradually in the next ten or twenty years.

唾弃UID: 2999052

Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents are children.

My grandparents often tell us about their experience when they were children and I learn from their words that it was a terrible era in which people were starving, lack of education, even their personal safety were in danger. Of course they also told me some beautiful memories. But on the whole, I believe our life today is far more safe and enjoyable than the life of 50 years ago.

During the war time, everybody was exposed to the bullets, fires and air attack; even their lives were in danger, not to mention the other rights of people. Nowadays, most of the world is in a peaceful time and it may last for a long period. People have no need to worry about there safety at most occasions. Moreover, when people get ill, the far more better medical condition can heal their sick and even save their lives. So people’s life span is longer than it was 50 years before.

Except for the trivial in their life, people have many other rights such as education, traveling and participating in political affairs. They have the right to choose their own lifestyles. They can go shopping, go to the theater and museum or travel abroad in their spare time. Such things can only be optional for people when their basic living requirements are satisfied.

There is no doubt that the quality of people's life has been improved. Many people were starving 50 years ago. But now, ample and various food is provided in the market and it is easier for people to purchase and afford. Furthermore, it is convenient for people to travel to every single corner of the world within 24 hours by air. Those things are hard to imagine for my grandparents when they were young.

At the same time, we have to admit that some areas in the world are still in tough time and even in a war at present. We also should aware that the modern society has many defects such as the huge mental pressure and the severe financial inflation. However, as I have just written, out life quality has been improved, and we are able to do many exciting things which are impossible 50 years ago in the peaceful circumstance today.

唾弃UID: 2999052

TPO 6 integrated writing

Communal online encyclopedias indeed have some disadvantages which don’t mean they are less reliable and less useful than traditional printed encyclopedia. Three points has been given by the speaker according to the reading material.

First, errors exist not only in online encyclopedias, but also in traditional printed encyclopedias. It's easier to find out and correct the mistakes in online encyclopedias than in printed ones. The errors in the printed encyclopedia may remain for decades before being corrected in the next printed version.

Second, the online encyclopedia has invented several solutions to protect the content from hackers and deliberate damage. One solution is maintaining a format of the encyclopedia and the vicious modification can be corrected all the time. Another solution is employing proof reader to prevent the unreliable change and eliminate the changes are proper or not.

As for the question of what information worth knowing, the online encyclopedias provide more accurate interest of a larger group of people. The printed encyclopedias always are compiled by several professional persons and the compiling group is too small to reflect the variety opinions of people in the world. But on the internet, the diversity of the large amount of people can take part in the editing of the encyclopedias so that they can reflect the general interest accurately. And that is the strongest advantage of the online encyclopedia.

On the whole, the disadvantages of the online encyclopedia don't over weight the advantages.

唾弃UID: 2999052

其实我最近真的有每天写，今天写到TPO16了，不过离考试也就只有三天了。。。

唾弃UID: 2999052

The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide.

As the international transportation has been more and more convenient and affordable, nowhere in history has travel been more popular as a way of recreation. When it comes to the way of travel, some think it is better to travel in a group with a tour guide while the others believe it is no better than traveling by themselves at their free will. As far as I am concerned, I prefer to travel on my own rather than register in a group of travel company who take care of all the things during the trip.

In the first place, traveling with several friends or family independently enable you to visit places at your will to explore more fun and avoid the crowd. The travel route designed by the companies always inflexible and ordinary without any surprise. But I think surprise that out of your expect is an essential component in a satisfactory trip. Moreover, in the busy season of traveling, the popular destinations are always crowded with excessive amount of visitors. If you wish to spend your time in peace and quiet, you will be annoyed by the mass. Traveling on your own, you can enjoy the fresh scenary and relax in calm and comfortable surroundings.

Second, the group members who are going to accompany you all the way of your trip usually come from the same place where you live. Traveling with them, you just feel as you still stay in your accustomed community; the meaning of traveling thus totally disappears. But if you travel independently, you are able to contact with the local people before you leave and when you reach the destination, you can live with the local people. It must be a rememberable experience. Furthermore, with the local people, you may have the opportunity to taste the original cuisine and visit the marvelous sites that only known by the local residents. The communication with the local people can bring you various understanding of the world and precious friendship.

In addition, planning your time as you wish is another advantage to travel on your own. If you have travelled in a group, you may be familiar with the hurry of moving from a site to another as soon as possible. You don't have enough time to look around in details your interested site. In the meanwhile, you are often driven by the tour guide to shopping places where your consumption will increase the profit of the company. Moreover, some of shopping places overcharge the visitors and you may feel being deceived. However, on your own or with several confidants, you can just stay long in your favarite site or even visit it for several times as you will. You won’t waste your time in the unwilling sites. That is what a perfect trip should be.

In conclusion, traveling in group is not a personal and interesting way of travel. If you ever travel by your own and achieve the happiness of communicating with local people and the leisureness of planning your own trip, you will find much more fun in it than travel in a group.

唾弃UID: 2999052

啊，要多少才能翻页

唾弃UID: 2999052

再试试

mpromanusUID: 2565872

11# 唾弃

The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide.

As the international transportation has become more and more convenient and affordable, nowhere in history has travel been more popular as a way of recreation. When it comes to the way of travel, some think it is better to travel in a group with a tour guide while the others (If you use ‘the’, then it means it’s either some or ‘the’ others, nothing else. Usually, divides of opinions are not this clear. There will always be more than two perspectives on things..) believe it is no better than traveling by themselves at their free will. As far as I am concerned, I prefer to travel on my own rather than register in a group of a travel company who takes care of all the things during the trip. (You make it sound like the travel company is a lot better than travelling on your own..since it takes care of everything in your trip..=.=)

In the first place, traveling with several friends or family members independently (If you’re travelling ‘independently’, then you are probably on your own..so is it with friends and family members, or independently? If you want to express that your travel is independent from any travel agency, say it’s independent of travel agencies, not just ‘independent’.) enables you to visit places at your will, to explore with more fun and avoid the crowd. The travel routes designed by the companies are always inflexible and ordinary without any surprise (Well, obviously you are not aware of tailored tours..many good travel companies can arrange itineraries for you according to your personal preferences, so you get the best of both independent choices and fuss-free administration.) . But I think a surprise that out of your expectation (If you have a ‘surprise’, then it is already out of your expectation. You can’t expect a surprise, not literally in the sense of the word ‘surprise’, at least..) is an essential component in a satisfactory trip. Moreover, in the busy season of traveling, the popular destinations are always crowded with excessive number of visitors. If you wish to spend your time in peace and quiet, you will be annoyed by the mass. Traveling on your own, you can enjoy the fresh scenery and relax in calm and comfortable surroundings. (But you can also avoid the peak seasons with a travel company, can’t you..just don’t book a tour in the busy months, and that’s all there is to it..so I don’t see why you must travel on your own if you just want to avoid the crowds. The crowds will be there if you go in the peak season, whether you choose to travel on your own or not..)

Second, the group members who are going to accompany you all the way during your trip usually come from the same place as where you live. Traveling with them, you just feel as you still stay in your accustomed community; the meaning of traveling thus totally disappears. (Good point.) But if you travel independently, you are able to go in touch with the local people before you leave (If you are talking about ‘local’ people before you leave, then you’re talking about ‘local’ people of where you live, actually..so I guess you mean ‘local people of your destination’..), and when you reach the destination, you can live with the local people. It must be a memorable experience. Furthermore, with the local people, you may have the opportunity to taste the original cuisine and visit the marvelous sites that only known by the local residents. The communication with the local people can bring you various understanding of the world and precious friendship.

In addition, planning your time as you wish is another advantage to travel on your own. If you have travelled in a group, you may be familiar with the hurry of moving from a site to another as soon as possible. You don't have enough time to look around for details at your interested the site of your interest. In the meanwhile, you are often driven by the tour guide to shopping places where your purchase (‘Consumption’ means things you actually consume, like food..) will increase the profit of the company. Moreover, some of shopping places overcharge the visitors and you may feel being deceived. However, if you are on your own or with several confidants, you can just stay long in your favorite site or even visit it for several times as you will. You won’t waste your time in the unwilling sites you’re unwilling to visit (You have a tendency to use adjectives that describe people on objects instead..Plus, this part repeats what you said in the 2nd paragraph: ‘…enables you to visit places at your will..’). That is what a perfect trip should be.

In conclusion, traveling in a group is not a personal and interesting way of travel. If you ever travel by your own and achieve the happiness of communicating with local people and the leisureness of planning your own trip, you will find much more fun in it than travel in a group. (The point you need to make, ultimately, is that travelling in a group led by a tour guide is not the best way to travel. It is not as fun as travelling independently, yes, it’s well-argued.. but you need to conclude on what the question asks.)

总结：

你用形容词的时候经常会把用来形容人的词直接用来形容物。。interested, unwilling..

另外就是中间的论述大体都不错，但是题目毕竟最后是问你Best way神马神马，你在开头说I prefer，好吧，因为你prefer所以这个应该比那个好否则你就不会prefer了，看在你中间的比较论述写得还不错，可以不强求，但是你到了结尾也完全没有跟题目打招呼的意思，这就有点过分了。。你起码要在某一个地方让考官看出来你写的题目是The best way to travel is to...而不是Do you prefer to travel...或者Is travel A more fun than travel B吧。。所以请注意一下。。

唾弃UID: 2999052

14# mpromanus 吼！谢谢国宝姐姐啦~~我发现我定冠词还有从句的连接词常常用不好，当然还有你说的用错形容词的问题，唉唉。不管怎么说，明天就考了！加油加油！再次感谢姐姐！顺便借人品一用……