issue236 再次磨刀上阵

glidingshUID: 110700

236
Encouraging young people to believe that they can accomplish great things if they try hard enough is both misleading and potentially harmful.

position:
不同意作者
1努力才能成就大事业
2鼓励在成就大事业的过程中是很重要的，不然很容易放弃
3这个事业必须是符合人类发展方向的

The speaker thinks that it is both misleading and potentially harmful to encourage young people to try hard enough so that they can invariably result in accomplish great things. I disagree with the speaker because it is important for young people to try hard enough.

Only through trying hard enough people may accomplish great things. When we are still a pupil, we do our best to study the courses and receive the satisfied grade. Growing up, people must try hard in their work so as to achieve success in their field. The artists, such as Da Vinci and Mozart, all accomplish great things in their fields through their hard work. The astronomer Copernicus gave great effort on his research and draw the conclusion that the sun is the center of the university, which is an innovation for the realm of astronomy and great effect on the today's science. When we talk about Bill Gates, the manager of the Microsoft company, if he not drop out from Harvard or try hard enough on the computer he won’t so great success like today, perhaps just a skilled programmer.

Encouraging is very important for young people. Accomplishing great thing is a long and hardly trip and it is easy for people without unalterable faith to give up. Encourage can give us power to put away the difficulty and give us more energy to work harder. If we meet the trouble in the process, courage can give us force and we can do better in the latter work. When Swift, the great writer in England, wrote the Gulliver's Travels he was very poor and want to give up to write any words, but with the friends help and encourage he finish it. Today, we read Gulliver's Travels and thank Swift to give us so interesting stories.

But if the great work is the things that none can reach or disobey the development of the society, encouraging young people to do that great work is misleading, even harmful. Any action going against the progress of the whole society must be punished. For example, Adolf Hitler want to control the whole Europe, which is a wrong action of course, and the result is that Hitler was failed and do harm to the whole Europe, even the world.

To the conclusion, we must encourage young people to believe that they can accomplish great things, which is good for the society, if they hard enough. If the great things disobey the progress of the society, the result must be mislead and harmful to the human beings.


写的深度不够， 好象有点展不开。汗……写了一个多小时了
请大家给点复习建议（8月21号就要考试了）


\225
Unlike great thinkers and great artists, the most effective political leaders must often yield to public opinion and abandon principle for the sack of compromise.

position:
partly agree
1 yield to public opinion 是有必要的，为了社会的安定
2 abandon principle for the sack of compromise 是不可以的，这样会使人民失去方向
（都说理由吧，好象没有什么好讲的，就那么几句话，举例子吗？）

imongUID: 140258

The speaker thinks that it is both misleading and potentially harmful to encourage young people to try hard enough so that they can invariably result in accomplish great things. I disagree with the speaker because it is important for young people to try hard enough.(这个转述的表达怎么有点怪,而且公认的尽量不要重复)

Only through trying hard enough people may(only… can people…only打头是倒装) accomplish great things. When we are still a pupil（when we were pupil）, we do our best to study the courses and receive the satisfied(?) grade. Growing up(主谓不搭配，主语是people就应该用grown, 好像是when grown up最好), people must try（？） hard in their work so as to achieve success（直接用achievement） in their field. The artists, such as Da Vinci and Mozart, all accomplish great things in their fields through their hard work. The astronomer Copernicus gave great effort on his research and draw the conclusion that the sun is the center of the university (universe), which is an innovation for the realm of astronomy and great effect on the today's science. When we talk about Bill Gates, the manager of the Microsoft company, if he not drop out from Harvard or try hard enough on the computer he won’t so great success like today, perhaps just a skilled programmer.例子举得多但是不精

Encouraging is very important for young people. Accomplishing great thing is a long and hardly trip and it is easy for people without unalterable（？） faith to give up. Encourage can give us power to put away the difficulty and give us more energy to work harder. If we meet the trouble in the process, courage can give us force and we can do better in the latter work. When Swift, the great writer in England, wrote the Gulliver's Travels he was very poor and want to give up to write any words, but with the friends help and encourage he finish it. Today, we read Gulliver's Travels and thank Swift to give us so interesting stories. 句子们都各自为战，没有连起来，这里的例子用了最没有说服力的方法表达出来了。（感觉向家长训孩子，先说一通大道理，然后再举他/她同学的例子）

But if the great work is the things that none can reach or disobey the development of the society（？SVO不对）, encouraging young people to do that great work is misleading, even harmful. Any action going against the progress of the whole society must be punished. For example, Adolf Hitler want to control the whole Europe, which is a wrong action of course, and the result is that Hitler was failed and do harm to the whole Europe, even the world.很明显这一段是没展开。

To the conclusion, we must encourage young people to believe that they can accomplish great things, which is good for the society, if they hard enough. If the great things disobey the progress of the society, the result must be mislead and harmful to the human beings.

词汇不太熟练啊，通篇都是accomplish。有些句子成分不搭配的问题一定要改，要不然就算意思很精辟人家也看不懂的。

glidingshUID: 110700

太谢谢了
看来我还是要好好看看单词的
范文总是学不来, 郁闷啊!
有没有什么好的建议?