请求大家帮忙修改一篇雅思小作文

phelpskwokUID: 3128786

From IELTS CAMBRIGE 5, Test 2, Writing task 1 (p52)

The charts below show the main reason for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.



The first chart indicates what students of various age groups mainly study for, career or interest. The second chart shows the proportion of them receiving support from employers.

According to the first chart, there is a gradual decline in the percentage of studying for career with years. Precisely, in age group under 26 the percentage stands high up at 80%, and then decreases gradually by about 10%-20% every decade. Only 41% in the 40-49yr group and it drops down to 18% in the over 49 group.

However, the chart also indicates a opposite trend in the proportion of study stemming from interest. To be more specific, the amount is 10% in the under 26yr group and it constantly increases to nearly the same with that of studying for career in the 4th decade. Then dramatically it soars to 70% in the over 49yr group.

The second graph shows that students receiving the maximum support in their age under 26 ( approximately 61%), but the amount rapidly drops to reach the lowest (about 32%) in the 3rd decade of life. The amount rises slightly in the 4th decade and in the later adulthood to about 38% and 42% respectively.

Overall the highest level of employer support tends to appreciate students who study mainly out of career purpose.

phelpskwokUID: 3128786

为什么没人反应一下呢？？