Daily Writing——【Carol】作文帖 求批改 求进步！

nankaichemUID：2704316

帮你再顶一下

nankaichemUID：2704316

呵呵

carol0607UID：3022610

17# nankaichem


谢谢你哦！

carol0607UID：3022610

7.18

杯具的我耗了2天练车、考试 结果还没考过……唉  各位我才回家 改作文我得慢慢来……

In a cooperation of team, the people who cannot accept criticize couldn’t be successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your idea.10,2,13$

476
“Talent is God given. Be humble; Fame is man given. Be thankful; Conceit is self given. Be careful.” A proverb said by John Wooden. It obviously that modesty helps one to go forward. People who are more humble will easy to get along with each others, also easy to be recognized by their colleagues or bosses. Especially in a cooperation of team, every single one of you have some thing are good at, similarly, every single one of you have some thing are lacking in. what your responsibility is to find out what that is, then, discover it and correct it. You should learn from others and accept criticize in order to enhance yourself, and then you will close to success. Therefore, I disagree that people could be successful without accept criticize from others.

In the first place, the people who cannot accept criticize always complacent. Those people will be hard to communicate with others, there will have some conflicts between them. As we all know, the good interpersonal skills are indispensable particularly in the teamwork. Thus, if people don’t accept criticize from other members of the team, it will had bad effect with them communication. Furthermore, the people who cannot accept criticize will had bad attitude in the work, because they cannot recognize their fault and once somebody point it out, they may have bias. Therefore, it will affect them work attitude, as a result, the efficiency of work will be reduced. In comparison, the people who humble will easy to get along with others. They learned from others and also they don’t mind to ask questions to colleagues. The people who accept advice will find right direction soon.

What’s more, the people who always insist of their own opinion cannot aware of their faults when they did something wrong, then it direct effects the benefits of company. On the other hand, if the project fails due to someone don’t accept other advices and correct it. Not only he or she but also all members of the team will undertake the responsibility for one’s mistake. The honor of the group will lose. The credit of the company will lose too. So there is no denying that the people be humble is benefits for the teamwork. To create a harmonious atmosphere is similarly important. And how to create a harmonious atmosphere is that willing accepts criticize. We can imagine that if everyone in the group is learned from each others and find out what they are lacking in. They may have great progress and makes more contributions to company.

To sum up, the people who accept criticize could get more successful job future in his or her life than other people who couldn’t. What is most important, everyone should make themselves have progress, without humble, they may conceited. Thus, I totally agree with the author’s statement.

应小呆UID：3109940

In a cooperation of team, the people who cannot accept criticize couldn’t be successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your idea.10,2,13$   |( |1 |/ |/ h- a$ g% \+ l
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476
Talent is God given. Be humble; Fame is man given. Be thankful; Conceit is self given. Be careful.” A proverb said by John Wooden. （学习了~）It obviously（obvious） that modesty helps one to go forward. People who are more humble will easy to get along with each others(other), also easy to be recognized by their colleagues or bosses. Especially in a cooperation of team, every single one of you have some thing are(去掉？) good at, similarly, every single one of you have some thing are lacking in. what your responsibility is to find out what that is, then, discover it and correct it. You should learn from others and accept criticize in order to enhance yourself, and then you will close（加一个yourself？因为close是及物动词） to success. Therefore, I disagree that people could be successful without accept criticize from others.2 k  j* p2 S6 X; s3 c
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In the first place, the people who cannot accept criticize is always complacent（自满的、得意的）. Those people will be hard to communicate with others（这句话的主语有问题）, there will have some conflicts between them. As we all know, the good interpersonal skills are indispensable particularly in the teamwork. Thus, if people don’t accept criticize from other members of the team, it will had bad effect with（on） them communication. Furthermore, the people who cannot accept criticize will had bad attitude in the work, because they cannot recognize their fault and once somebody point it out, they may have bias. Therefore, it will affect them(their) work attitude, as a result, the efficiency of work will be reduced. In comparison, the people who humble will be easy to get along with others. They learned from others and also they don’t mind to ask questions to colleagues. The people who accept advice will find right direction soon.
What’s more, the people who always insist of their own opinion cannot aware of their faults when they did something wrong(这一点之前已经讲过了吖), then it direct effects the benefits of company. On the other hand, if the project fails due to someone don’t accept others' advices and correct it. Not (not )only he or she but also all members of the team will undertake the responsibility for one’s mistake. The honor of the group will lose. The credit of the company will lose too. So there is no denying that the people be humble is benefits for the teamwork(不太明白这句话的意思). To create a harmonious atmosphere is similarly important. And how to create a harmonious atmosphere is that willing accepts criticize（没有等价关系）. We can imagine that if everyone in the group is learned（为什么要用被动呢？主动不好吗？） from each others and find out what they are lacking in. They may have great progress and makes more contributions to company.
To sum up, the people who accept criticize could get more successful job future in his or her life than other people who couldn’t. What is most important, everyone should make themselves have progress, without humble, they may conceited.（不懂这句话什么意思==） Thus, I totally agree with the author’s statement.

学车辛苦啦~

lyn7981UID：2758158

“Talent is God given. Be humble; Fame is man given. Be thankful; Conceit is self given. Be careful.” A proverb said by John Wooden. It obviously（is obvious) that modesty helps one to go forward. People who are more humble will easy to get along with each others(other), also easy to be recognized by their colleagues or bosses. Especially in a cooperation of team, every single one of you have some thing are good at, similarly, every single one of you have some thing are lacking in(every single one/each one must both have something good at and lacking/short of你看可以吗？). what your responsibility is to find out what that is, then, discover it and correct it. You should learn from others and accept criticize in order to enhance yourself, and then you will close to success. Therefore, I disagree that people could be successful without accept criticize from others.(这两句一气呵成，漂亮！读起来很爽）% \( t1 S1 z9 i

In the first place, the people（the one表泛指，可以吗？） who cannot accept criticize is always complacent. Those people will be hard to communicate with others, there will have some conflicts between them. As we all know, the good interpersonal skills are indispensable particularly in the teamwork. Thus, if people don’t accept criticize from other members of the team, it will had bad effect with them （their）communication. Furthermore, the people who cannot accept criticize will had bad（negative） attitude in the work, because they cannot recognize their fault and once somebody point it out, they may have bias. Therefore, it will affect them work attitude, as a result, the efficiency of work will be reduced. In comparison, the people who humble will easy to get along with others. They learned from others and also they don’t mind to ask questions to colleagues. The people who accept advice will find right direction soon." h0 x9 q* u* q, ?1 t( t; y
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What’s more, the people who always insist of their own opinion cannot aware of their faults when they did something wrong, then it direct effects the benefits of company. On the other hand, if the project fails due to someone don’t accept other advices and correct it. Not only he or she but also all members of the team will undertake the responsibility for one’s mistake. The honor of the group will lose（be tarnished）. The credit of the company will lose too（as well会不会更多用于文章里？个人意见哦）. So there is no denying that the people be humble is benefits（benefits也可以，还能用beneficial试试，你说呢？） for the teamwork. To create a harmonious atmosphere is similarly（用equally吧，similarly你上文用到过了哟~亲） important. And how to create a harmonious atmosphere is that willing accepts criticize（没看懂，是不是 to creat a harmonious atomosphere largely depends on the willingness of accepting criticize?）. We can imagine that if everyone in the group is learned（不用被动） from each others and find out what they are lacking in. They may have great progress and makes more contributions to company.' {% @+ F3 B ^+ G/ B" F7 b% b- Z
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To sum up, the people who accepts criticize could get more successful job future in his or her life than other people who couldn’t（doesn't). What is most important, everyone should make themselves have progress, without humble, they may conceited. Thus, I totally agree with the author’s statement.

写得好流利的说，感觉一气呵成的，读起来很痛快，好多值得我好好学习！
帮我也改改吧，感觉你好厉害的说https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1284659-2-1.html

carol0607UID：3022610

20# 应小呆

你的语法学的好好哦  我就是底子太差了

羡慕你G720  果然很有逻辑啊！

掩面——继续学习前进！

carol0607UID：3022610

占

carol0607UID：3022610

7.20 综合
TPO8
234
The professor provides sufficient evidences which contradict the conclusion of the passage. In her view, the long memoir wrote by Chevalier is real. Thus, he did not distort or invented many events in the memoir.

First, the professor argues that the Chevalier had seems not really been very rich. According to her, Chevalier borrowed money does not means he is poor. Because, every businessman know that you should loan enough money to go around while you are selling something. So before Chevalier’s money arrived, he has to borrow money from Swiss merchant.

Second, the professor opposes the point in the passage that the memoir cannot possibly capture these conversations accurately about Chevalier had met with Voltaire. The professor explaining that Chevalier wrote down exact details after the conversations end up. Therefore, the point in the passage that it is impossible to remember exact phrases from extended conversations held many years earlier is seriously attacked.

Third, the professor contradicts the passage by demonstrating the Chevalier’s escape from Venetian prison. She says that other prisoner in that prison has a lot of powerful friends than he did. However, those people were not able to bribe jailers in order to have freedom. What’s more, the old government documents indicated that the event of having escape from Venetian prison is true. Because the ceiling in the room has been repaired, it confirm that Chevalier prepare to escape.

april0515UID：2997208

25# carol0607 TPO8
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The professor provides sufficient evidences which contradict the conclusion of the passage. In her view, the long memoir wrote by Chevalier is real. Thus, he did not distort or invented(invent) many events in the memoir(觉得这句话表达的意思有点偏哦，这句话我可以理解为他没有曲解很多，但是是有曲解滴，你说累亲）.- D# s: }( Y. ^& V( D
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First, the professor argues that the Chevalier had seems not really been (to be)very rich. According to her, Chevalier borrowed money does not means he is poor. Because, every businessman know that you should loan enough money to go around while you are selling something. So before Chevalier’s money arrived, he has to borrow money from Swiss merchant.
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Second, the professor opposes the point in the passage that the memoir cannot possibly capture these conversations accurately (about Chevalier had met with Voltaire)可以表述成between Chevalier and Voltaire. The professor explaining(explains) that Chevalier wrote down exact details after the conversations ended up. Therefore, the point in the passage that it is impossible to remember exact phrases from extended conversations held many years earlier is seriously attacked.(attack这个词用滴好！)
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Third, the professor contradicts the passage by demonstrating the Chevalier’s escape from Venetian prison. She says that other prisoner in that prison has a lot of powerful friends than he did. However, those people were not able to bribe jailers in order to have freedom. What’s more, the old government documents indicated that the event of having escape from Venetian prison is true. Because the ceiling in the room has been repaired, it confirm that Chevalier prepare to escape.
觉得这篇文章写得很好啦，主要要点都有抓住，注意一下措辞神马滴就OKAY啦~
欢迎来改我的作文~https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1285640&extra=&page=2

carol0607UID：3022610

荒废了一些时日   补起！

8.06
08.05.31
It's better to use own knowledge and experience to solve questions, or ask other for advice

445
There are many difficulties and problems in our live which will be hard to overcome it or solve it. Some of these can solve by own knowledge and experience and others may not. We should ask other for help or advice, because they may have mature experiences than we have. Also we can learn a lot from it. Therefore, in light of this statement, ask other for advice is a better choice.

First and foremost, people can find a better way to solve problem if they ask for advice from older people who have much more knowledge and experiences. My best friend, Shelley, who had go aboard for a trip. She is very lucky that she met a older who is a successful businessmen and they get alone well with each other. Shelly talked about some problems in her company and she doesn't know how to solve it. Fortunately, the older tell her lots of experiences that he has. Shelly learned many skills about interpersonal skills and negotiation abilities. Finally she makes a great progress in her company and makes more contributions. There is no denying that ask other for advice can obtain more methods to solve our problems.

What's more, people can learn something new if they ask for help from others. Don't be afraid to ask questions, don't be afraid to ask help. Even Obama do it everyday. Asking for advice is not a sign of weakness it a sign of strength because it shows you have courage to admit when you do not know something and then that allows you to know something new. So find an adult that you trust——a parent, a grandparent or teacher, a counselor or a coach. And ask them to help you stay on track and meet your goals. When I graduate from my college, I don't know how to adjust myself in society and I was afraid to communicate with others. So I ask my mother for advice, she tell me a lots of things about behavioral science and tell me how to get alone well with others. Then I gradually suit for it. Therefore, ask other for advice can solve questions that we cannot to use own knowledge and experience to solve it.

In sum up, asking for advice is a good virtue. Although to use own knowledge and experience also can solve some questions, it will spend more time and energy to do it. Compare to ask other for advice, not only people can obtains new experience but also get a better choice. Thus, I agree with ask other for advice is better than to use own knowledge and experience to solve questions.

carol0607UID：3022610

8.9  独立

09.03.21
Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fail?
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No one born being good at all things, people become success through failures. Remain happy and optimistic is indispensable character when you fail. People won't necessarily succeed at everything the first time they try, so keep good mood and never give up when you meet obstacle, then you will succeed. In light of this statement, I think it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when people fail than being success.

First and foremost, people can obtain precious experience if they remains happy and optimistic when they fail and gain sense of satisfaction from overcome the difficulties. The most successful people in the world are the ones who have had most failure. J.K Rowling, who wrote Harry Porter, her first harry potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. She was not choose give up and hold negative mood, however she is optimistic and insist her dream. That is reason why she succeeds. Michael Jordan, he was cut from his high school basketball team. He missed thousands of games and hundreds of shots, but he once said: I was failed over and over and over again in my life, and that's why I succeed. It is obvious that he remains happy and do not let himself down so that he can get his goals. J.K Rowling and Michael Jordan got lots of special experience from it and they realized that keep confident and remain optimistic is base to achieve success.


What's more, remain happy and optimistic is important because it can help you to set up confidence to fight failure and learn something new. Jazmin Perez, from Texas, she did not speak english when she first started school. Neither of her parents had gone to college but she worked hard, earned good grade and most important is that she remains happy everyday also share optimism with other, so she did not influenced by language and finally got scholarship from Brown University, is now in graduate school, studying public health, on her way to Dr. Jazmin Perez. I also thinking about Andoni, from California, who is fought brain cancer since he was three. He is had to endure all sorts of treatments and surgeries, and one of which affect his memory. So it took him much longer——hundreds of extra hours to do his schoolwork. But he never fell behind. He is headed to college this fall. These people succeed because they understood that you do not let your failures define you, you should let your failures teach you. You should let them show you what to do differently the next time. So if you got into trouble, remain optimism because that does not mean you are troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to act right. If you got bad grade, please remain optimism because that does not mean you are stupid, it just means you need spent more time studying.

To sum up, those people are not any different from any of us. They face challenges in their live just like we do. In some cases they have got it a lot worse off than many of us. But they refuse to give up, they remain happy and optimistic to obtain the precious experience and knowledge which is important than success. Thus, in my opinion, I agree with that remain happy and optimistic is more important than being success.