【daily writing作文特训小组】qianru的作文贴，求批改求指导

liuqianru2UID: 3112323

7.16

Is accepting criticism an essential part of being success? Some people contend that criticism always makes one depressed and lose confidence, others say that accepting criticism can make one be aware of his weaknesses and the correct way which leads to success.
From my perspective, despite some negative effects it may bring, I think one should accept criticism given all the benefits it provides for the successful completion of team’s tasks.
First of all, criticism can help correct errors and direct us to the right course of action. Everyone will make mistakes even the most skillful ones. However, one does not know his shortcomings unless pointed out by others. For example, after Michael Jordan was selected by the Chicago Bulls in the NBA draft, despite of his spectacular performance, the team suffered five seasons of successive losses. Not until his coach criticizes him does he develop the strategy of triangle offense and cooperate to lead the team to the peak of the world. What if he did not accept criticism? We won’t know a person named Michael Jordan who is so successful as a world champion!
Moreover, accepting criticism is crucial since one sometimes deals with problem from his own point of view. When processing a project, we do not only need technicians but also need managers whole can regard it as whole. For instance, one technician want to install a part in the machine but is rejected by the manager, will he accept this? If he can think about the criticism more thoroughly, he can always find the criticism reasonable maybe because this part will pollute the environment and this does not comply with the local environmental policy.
However, it does not mean that we have to accept all the criticisms even when we are unfairly criticized. It occurs that in some local governments in china, some leaders are so powerful and influential that no one can speak against them. If one is criticized by the leader for certain proposal that is indeed beneficial, what he should do is to insist his ideas and try to persuade the leader in a more polite way. Only in this way, can one succeed at last.
Criticism is an indispensable force toward success only if people can distinguish from fair ones and unfair ones and treat them differently.

应小呆UID: 3109940

也欢迎你来改我的作文~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1280678-7-1.html
7.167 V! O( ~! Q/ a) t$ L& K' D
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: In a cooperation of team, the people who cannot accept criticize couldn’t be successful./ G: K- P( h5 h" b' @
3 g* s  d! }0 O( P6 [) \& t
Is accepting criticism an essential part of being success? Some people contend that criticism always makes one depressed and lose confidence, others say that accepting criticism can make one be aware of his weaknesses and the correct way which leads to success.（这种对比的说法很好吖，学习了~） ( H- g5 O+ z$ v0 }
From my perspective, despite some negative effects it may bring, I think one should accept criticism given all the benefits it provides for the successful completion of team’s tasks.: ~/ A: I, ^; |5 e

First of all, criticism can help correct errors and direct us to the right course of action. Everyone will make mistakes even the most skillful ones. However, one does not know his shortcomings unless pointed out by others. For example, after Michael Jordan was selected by the Chicago Bulls in the NBA draft, despite of his spectacular performance, the team suffered five seasons of successive losses. Not until his coach criticizes him does（我觉得这句话应该用过去式） he develop the strategy of triangle offense and cooperate to lead the team to the peak of the world. What if he did not accept criticism? We won’t know a person named Michael Jordan who is so successful as a world champion!



Moreover, accepting criticism is crucial since one sometimes deals with problem from his own point of view. When processing a project, we do not only need technicians but also need managers whole can regard it as whole. For instance, one technician wants to install a part in the machine but is rejected by the manager, will he accept this? If he can think about the criticism more thoroughly, he can always find the criticism reasonable maybe because this part will pollute the environment and this does not comply with the local environmental policy（这个例子角度很好吖~）& i* F* d5 E5 v3 r- T
However, it does not mean that we have to accept all the criticisms even when we are unfairly criticized. It occurs that in some local governments in china, some leaders are so powerful and influential that no one can speak against them. If one is criticized by the leader for certain proposal that is indeed beneficial, what he should do is to insist his ideas and try to persuade the leader in a more polite way. Only in this way, can one succeed at last.



Criticism is an indispensable force toward success only if people can distinguish from fair ones and unfair ones and treat them differently.我觉得要是再重复一下主题就更好了，不然，像我这种习惯先看开头结尾的人会有种中间是不是跑题了的赶脚~

文章写得很好啊，长句结构也清晰明白，学习了~也欢迎你来改我的作文~\(≧▽≦)/~d+

lemonsweet3UID: 2848875

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: In a cooperation of team, the people who cannot accept criticize couldn’t be successful.


Is accepting criticism an essential part of being success? Some people contend that criticism always makes one depressed and lose confidence, others say that accepting criticism can make one be aware of his weaknesses and the correct way which leads to success. From my perspective, despite some negative effects it may bring, I think one should accept criticism given all the benefits it provides for the successful completion of team’s tasks.


First of all, criticism can help correct errors and direct us to the right course of action. Everyone will make mistakes even the most skillful ones. However, one does not know his shortcomings unless pointed out by others. For example, after Michael Jordan was selected by the Chicago Bulls in the NBA draft, despite of his spectacular performance, the team suffered five seasons of successive losses. Not until his coach criticizes him does he develop the strategy of triangle offense and cooperate to lead the team to the peak of the world. What if he did not accept criticism? We won’t know a person named Michael Jordan who is so successful as a world champion!(这个例子特别好！很切题。是我改的这几篇作文里看过的举的最好的例子了！楼主也是篮球迷吧哈哈)



Moreover, accepting criticism is crucial since one sometimes deals with problem from his own point of view. When processing a project, we do not only need technicians but also need managers whole can regard it as whole. For instance, one technician want to install a part in the machine but is rejected by the manager, will he accept this? If he can think about the criticism more thoroughly, he can always find the criticism reasonable maybe because this part will pollute the environment and this does not comply with the local environmental policy.


However, it does not mean that we have to accept all the criticisms even when we are unfairly criticized. It occurs that in some local governments in china, some leaders are so powerful and influential that no one can speak against them. If one is criticized by the leader for certain proposal that is indeed beneficial, what he should do is to insist his ideas and try to persuade the leader in a more polite way. Only in this way, can one succeed at last.（让步段很好，能显示出作者的思维缜密）


Criticism is an indispensable force toward success only if people can distinguish from fair ones and unfair ones and treat them differently.


不是我不认真改..是我实在挑不出什么不好的地方了..楼主的作文感觉结构明了 思维逻辑清晰 而且有的例子特别画龙点睛 学习了：）
最有一个小建议：第二个分论点里举例子部分的语言读着有点别扭但又挑不出错  提高语言描绘能力是大部分中国考生急需提高的我觉得（包括我） 应该努力让句子读着更加流畅 优美：） 我觉得你的论述道理部分的句子写的都特别好 简练又到位

lemonsweet3UID: 2848875

欢迎你改我的作文 互相学习~~


https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1280367-3-1.html

liuqianru2UID: 3112323

The professor argues against three ways mentioned in the reading passage to protect Torreya.
Firstly , the professor argues that it is unlikely to be successful to these trees to survive in the original microclimate. Since global warming and draining of wet lands have influenced climate of North Florida, it is impossible that the microclimate remain unaffected. However, the reading passage contends that Torreya used to be in abundance in these areas, so it will be successful to reestablish them in the same location.
Regarding the second method, moving Torreya to a totally different location, the professor gives an analogy to object it. He says that people once moved one kind of black tree in order to save it, however, these trees spread so quickly that even kill many local plants which are already endangered. The reading passage doesn’t consider the possible outcome of breaking balance of ecosystem, it only says that cooler climate in North is more suited to Torreya’s survival.
Finally, the professor points out that it is unrealistic for large and genetically diverse tree population to grow in research centers. Research centers are only capable of preserving small trees , however, trees of this size always cannot resist viruses effectively. This claim is in direct contract with the reading passage that moving trees to research centers is not only easier for scientists to protect them but also conduct research on them.

Luna6408UID: 3140002

The professor argues against three ways mentioned in the reading passage [that in order] to protect Torreya.[protect Torreya是修饰那个three ways的吧？]

Firstly , the professor argues that it is unlikely to be successful to these trees to survive in the original microclimate[这个文中讲的是microclimate因为变了已经不是originalmicroclimate，所以Torreya才不适宜reestablish,而不是不能在原来的climate存活下来]. Since global warming and draining of wet lands have influenced climate of North Florida, it is impossible that the microclimate remain unaffected. However, the reading passage contends that Torreya used to be in abundance in these areas, so it will be successful to reestablish them in the same location.

Regarding the second method, moving Torreya to a totally different location, the professor gives an analogy to object it. He [She] says that people once moved one kind of black tree [to a new environment] in order to save it, however, these trees spread so quickly that even kill [killed] many local plants which are [had] already endangered. The reading passage doesn’t consider the possible outcome of breaking balance of ecosystem, it only says that cooler climate in North is more suited to Torreya’s survival.

Finally, the professor points out that it is unrealistic for large and genetically diverse tree population to grow in research centers. Research centers are only capable of preserving small trees, however, trees of this size always cannot resist viruses effectively. This claim is in direct contract with the reading passage that moving trees to research centers is not only easier for scientists to protect them but also conduct research on them.[我感觉前面几段可以把reading passage里面的观点放在最后，但是最后一点你没有结尾，那是不是能再把lecturer的观点总结下就更好]
[写得总的不错，我觉得，如果我改得不对，记得告诉我啊]