[Daily Writing] [Jenniferso]作文贴

jennifersoUID: 3132548

第一次写托福作文，水平有限，多包涵。。。

It is obvious that we often face different opinions concerned one issue when we cooperate with other people in one team, Does this “different views” means roadblock to the aim or the stimulation to the final achievement, can people asserting different positions work together, does this working as a team bring about the positive effect or carry out the negative effect. The topic has been debated for several years. Speaking for myself, I believe that instead of destroying the achievement, reasonable arguments and modest divergent views will help team to get its aim to some extent.

There is no denying that different views may cause some negative influences during the process. People who content different opinion may spend a plenty of time and energy on argument, it would not only waste the cherish time of schedule for the team but also move team members’ focus. However, I still believe that people holding divergent opinion work in one team will get more beneficial effects for the team.

To begin with, different assertions stand for more inspirations. In a seminar that for a new products’ promotion, for instance, two department managers propose two different promotion strategy, one suggests that the company should allocate the money on TV shows to implant their new products, however, the other one argues that the propaganda would be more effective if the funds invest on the internet way. Interestingly, these two opinions turn into another inspiration finally, the company decide to arrange one department manager to attend this TV show and use the internet as a tool to report this participation at the same time, more important thing is that they publicize their new products in these two ways with low cost.

Furthermore, different views mean good suggestions in some cases. There is an old saying in China, “listen to both sides and you’ll be enlightened, listen to only one side and you will remain ignorant”, no matter in Political area or business field, the more different views you consider, the more correct decision you can make. For example, Chinese government plan to improve the tax policy and adjust the tax threshold several months ago, the government officers content that the tax threshold should be adjusted to 2000 Yuan, However, other individuals argue that this tax threshold should be increased to 3500 Yuan because of the evidence of inflation and raised salary level, they insist that the government policy should make allowance for the citizen who get the low income and reduce their tax burden. At last, after a heated debate on internet and public hearings, the government believes the reasonable line is higher than 3500 Yuan and makes the tax threshold to be 3500 Yuan, this revised decision render this policy to be more effective and bring more benefits to more citizens. If we regard the whole society as one team, the different views guide a right direction in this case obviously.

Based on statement above, I can conclude that although “different views” may lead to some drawbacks, the upsides of “different views” are obvious and advantageous and I am also convinced that people advocating different views can not only working together as a team, their disputes even can render the tasks more successful.

jennifersoUID: 3132548

顶上去多给点意见吧。。

jennifersoUID: 3132548

7.21 独立


Movies have become the necessity and best entertainment for our contemporary life. Different kinds of movies including cartoon animation, action movie, science-fiction movies, romantic movies and documentary bring people different feelings and experiences. Like other entertainments, movies enrich our life and render our life more colorful. Hence, I believe that we can not only get benefits from movies that talk about the real life, we can also achieve other advantages from other sorts of movies.

To begin with, cartoon movies are no business with real life in most cases, their story are usually about unreal animals or imaginary stories. However, cartoon movies may be the best memory of our childhood and a good educational tool for most individuals. For example, although I watched “Finding Nemo” 8 years ago, I still remember that orange cute deep-sea fish-Nemo and his adventure story about finding father. Nemo became very popular role at that time, young people who from 5 years old to 20years old talk about this small animal every occasion, at the same time, the Nemo toys were the best gifts for friends at that time. Furthermore, We learn the bravery, willpower, wisdom from Nemo’s story, in addition, We remember that the friendship is very essential for everyone when you face difficulties. In fact, when moral values are implanted into cartoon movies, children would accept them more effectively than words from adults’ mouth.

Secondly, Movies concerned unreal life such as science-fiction movies push forward the technological development to some extent, someone even assert that the science-fiction movies predict the future. “a trip to the moon” is the best example, the movies was released about 110 years ago in 1902 that talk about the interesting adventure trip to Moon, no one predicted that this story really realized 67 years later in 1969 by American. I believe no one would disagree that this previous movie encouraged scientists to explore this field.

Thirdly, I believe some movies talk about the imagery future story set the alarm to people in the world. We may have found that the phenomenon such as heavy snow , flood, earthquake, tsunami in “the day after tomorrow” and “2012” have happened on the present earth, although the end of the world may not arrived as the movies told us, but these disasters in these movies require us have to protect our environment and treat our mother earth well.

Based on statement above, I can conclude that good films give us good influence in different degree at different areas, the movies that about real life such as documentary let us know the real affairs or real local cultural, nevertheless, the movies that talk unreal story will bring us to the magic and advanced world or render us resolve some problems in the bud. Therefore, I believe both kinds of movies are worth watching.

theflyfishUID: 2101420

改好了。很不错。

theflyfishUID: 2101420

我的作文直接贴到我的贴子里吧。谢谢了

wendy316UID: 2566643

改完了，请查收，顺便谢谢你的修改。

jennifersoUID: 3132548

我看你们的作文，也觉得对这个题目的理解产生疑惑。。。求正解。。

wendy316UID: 2566643

我对这个作文的理解也有点疑惑，也到处查询了，无果。 7# jenniferso

冰雪蜂鸟UID: 2754485

7.21 独立

Movies have become the necessity and best(the best)entertainment for our contemporary life. Different kinds of movies includingcartoon animation, action movie, science-fiction movies, romantic movies anddocumentary bring people different feelings and experiences. Like otherentertainments, movies enrich our life and render our life more colorful(render+n. 不能用render sth. adj.).Hence, I believe that we can not only getbenefits from movies that talk about the real life,we can also achieve other advantages from other sorts of movies. not only but also，你这样使用正式考试中算语法错误。


To begin with, cartoon movies are (have) nobusiness with real life in most cases, their story are usually about unreal animalsor imaginary stories. However, cartoon movies may be the best memory of ourchildhood and a good educational tool for most individuals. For example,although I watched “Finding Nemo” 8(TOEFL作文尽量不用数字，写eight)years ago, I still remember that orange cute deep-sea fish-Nemo and hisadventure story about finding father. Nemo became very popular role at thattime, young people who from 5 years old to 20years old talk about this smallanimal every occasion, at the same time, the Nemo toys were the best gifts forfriends at that time. Furthermore, We learn the bravery, willpower, wisdom fromNemo’s story, in addition (in addition不能起到连词and 的作用), Weremember that the friendship is very essential for everyone when you facedifficulties. In fact, when moral values are implanted into cartoon movies,children would accept them more effectively than words from adults’ mouth.
事实上，你的这句话是支持题目的。从learn, difficulties we face. 这些都可以看得出来，既然选择了自己的论点，就要支持自己，避免说到相反方向去！Furthermore, We learn the bravery, willpower, wisdom fromNemo’s story, in addition (in addition不能起到连词and 的作用), Weremember that the friendship is very essential for everyone when you facedifficulties.

Secondly, Movies concerned unreal life suchas science-fiction movies push forward the technological development to someextent, someone even assert that the science-fiction movies predict the future.“a trip to the moon” is the best example, the movies was released about 110years ago in 1902 that talk about the interesting adventure trip to Moon, noone predicted that this story really realized 67 years later in 1969 byAmerican. I believe no one would disagree that this previous movie encouragedscientists to explore this field.
这一段的例子和角度我都很喜欢，非常好！


Thirdly, I believe some movies talk (talking做现在分词) aboutthe imagery future story set the alarm to people in the world. We may havefound that the phenomenon such as heavy snow , flood, earthquake, tsunami in“the day after tomorrow” and “2012” have happened on the present earth,although the end of the world may not arrived as the movies told us, but thesedisasters in these movies require us have to protect our environment and treatour mother earth well. 同样的问题，讲到了一些确实是real life 的问题。


Based on statement above, I can concludethat good films give us good influence in different degree at different areas,the movies that about real life such as documentary let us know the realaffairs or real local cultural, nevertheless, the movies that talk unreal storywill bring us to the magic and advanced world or render us resolve someproblems in the bud. (注意你这句话到这才有一个句号，好几个简单句被你用逗号连接了。注意符号使用) Therefore, I believe both kinds of movies are worth watching.

语言没有大问题，需要注意一些细小的语法。
文章结构把握的也不错，加油！

jennifersoUID: 3132548

7.27
Everyone may agree that education plays an increasingly role in development of a country. Indeed, education determines economical and technological development of the country to some extend. Therefore, most citizens would content that for wining the cruel competition over other countries, the government have to allocate money on our education. However, considering limited government budget, we must decide that which area should be invested more money, the elementary education for young children or the higher education for college students. Speaking for my self, I tend to vote for elementary education.

To begin with, in China, everyone knows the saying that children are followers of nation, in other words, government should pay most attention on these national seeds, including building the excellent education system to let them grow up in health and academic environment. For instance, Chinese government popularizes nine-year compulsory education and allocates hundreds billion on this project each year. This project decrease the financial pressure for most families especially needy families, the children who get benefits from this project learn basic knowledge such as mathematics, language and literature in first nine years for free, this knowledge becomes helpful no matter these students choose working or pursuit higher education after their graduation form middle school. Obviously, the widespread of elementary education is beneficial for the improvement of educational level of whole society

Secondly, comparing with the higher education, we can discern that the cost of elementary education for one student is much lower than that of higher school, for example, the university should invest large number of money on laboratory, computers, software, or large library, in other words, educational cost for every college student is much high, if cultivating one schoolchild needs one thousand Yuan for one semester, the cost for one college students need four thousand Yuan for same time at least. Hence, it is clear that if we allocate the fixed limited money on elementary education for children, there will be three times more students could get benefits from this money.

There is no denying that universities need money too. After all, the students who grasp professional knowledge such as accounting, computer skills, management are cultivated from universities. These professional people improve development of our country in different fields. Furthermore, many advanced scientific technologies are invented in universities. Nevertheless, considering the limitation of budget, the number of beneficiary, the importance of elementary education, we have to put the young children’s education on the first place.

Based on statement above, I conclude that both of these two kinds of education are essential, but if the government’s fund for education is really limited, we must allocate more money on elementary education.

wilsonchen2011UID: 3137568

10# jenniferso
让你久等了。我已经尽力帮你改。建议都写在里面。加油！写作并不难的！

jennifersoUID: 3132548

这改的的确有点大刀阔斧啊。。。
最后一段的让步是这样的，承认大学教育也很需要钱，但是鉴于资金有限，还是选更多在children身上，这里用的是MORE...如题目视。。
这样理解如何？

wilsonchen2011UID: 3137568

12# jenniferso
我知道你的意思，可是这样子说确实说服力不太强。
对了，你是不是不太喜欢我这样改？要不我以后只给建议算了。

jennifersoUID: 3132548

13# wilsonchen2011

还行。希望以后的作文不至于烂到要你改这么多。。

jennifersoUID: 3132548

8.17综合，第一次写。

The lecture discusses that people nowadays do not read less literature than they used to , which differs from them main idea in the reading that people especially young people read less literature such as novels, plays and poems.

According to the lecture, the professor points that book is not only form of the literature, the decrease of book reading can not stand for the decline of literature appreciation, the literature forms also includes science writing, history and political announcement which still with high literature quality and stimulate the readers’ imagination. The reading, however, holds a different view that less book reading equals to less literature.

The professor makes the point that literature not only in the written form. The ways to indicate the literature have been changed. Music and movies are also with high cultural standards. Which refutes the point that made by the writer who said that watching music and movies is not waste of time.

Finally, the professor state that the true reason that the lead publishers support less money in literature is because plenty of present modern literature are hard for readers to understand. This fault is produced by the authors. In contrast, the reading material demonstrates that these less investment is because of limited audience.

To conclusion, the professor states her three points on the problem that whether the present literates become less and with low quality. The reading views in an opposing angle.