小咩的作文帖。。大虾们，各种求拍

wilsonchen2011UID: 3137568

7月25日 wilsonchen2011批改的独立by Paris.doc (22.5 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2011-7-27 13:03:04 上传

下载次数: 4

羊小咩89UID: 2848665

TPO14  （网速有问题传不了附件，哎，修改的童鞋能附件的话还是附件给我吧，thks）
The reading and lecture present contradictory viewpoints on the issue of salvage logging, as the professor states that the negative attributes of the logging is apparent, whereas the author in the reading contends a completely different of view.

Primarily, the professor put forward the evidence that cleaning up the dead trees while the salvage logging proceeds would not provide the right condition for timber growth. It can be noted that the artificial procedure of removing the tree remains is less likely to create a natural environment ecologically, for it lacks the necessary nutrients the eco-system normally requires. Adversely, this is inconsistent with what the reading passage holds when it says salvage logging has been helpful in the fresh growth of new timbers.

In addition, while contradictory with the reading passage's opinion, the professor illustrates that the harmful consequences which salvage logging would bring about greatly outweigh those caused by insects. It can be observed that the spruce bark beetle, which has been live in the forests for years has never result in a major damage.

The last point the professor demonstrates against the reading passage is that the financial benefits of salvage logging is virtually small, for when dealing with the severe damage in the forests after the disasters, it would require huge machineries such as helicopter to help which will increase the budget. Furthermore, the additional jobs created during the logging are more likely to be occupied by the experienced outsiders other than local residents.

wilsonchen2011UID: 3137568

18# 羊小咩89
7/26, 2011  羊小咩89综合作文

写得有进步！存在的主要问题有：
1. 每一段内都仍要以Prof观点为主，一般采取从句说文章观点、主句说Prof观点；
2. 推荐加上结尾段，有总结总比没总结好，保险起见最好用五段式；
3. 漏掉不少重要的听力信息，希望以后要打醒十二分精神；
4. 还是有很多语法不注意的地方，主谓一致、时态是错最多的点，平衡结构也要注意。

羊小咩89UID: 2848665

8.2 小咩作文回归，前些时候有点考前焦虑于是把之前作文再整理了一下特别感谢wilsonchen2011和冰雪蜂鸟的帮助尤其是wilsonchen童鞋，跟他互改的过程让我学到了很多写作的方法~~还有共同进步的成就感~
快考试了，趁着还有一个星期，多练练吧~希望新人旧人一不要吝惜comments，一同杀T

8.2 综合+独立

likejin2012UID: 2847537

20# 羊小咩89
The lecturer raises several arguments to counter the reading passage’s strong criticism of the “Let it burn” policy, he points out that the policy is fundamentally good as the author in the reading ignores the creative aspectS after the fire.

Primarily, the professor illustrates the viewpoint that the vegetation inside the park is actually diversified, as a result of colonization of new plants into the scorched areas. Basically, certain plants flourish after fire, due to the specific environment created. He elaborates on this by saying that smaller trees which require open and unshade conditions appear on the spot that used to be shady with large trees before fire. Additionally, seeds need high level of exposure to germinate also come out. However, the reading believes that the forest’s growth has been given a destructive
strike during Yellowstone fire.

Moreover, similar to the case of vegetation population increase, the numbers of animals have also recovered. It can be noted that the newly grow plants have provided certain animals with ideal habitats, in which the population of rabbits and hares improve(increase) greatly. This results in rising numbers of their predators and thus forming a stronger food chain, which is incongruous with the reading passage’s opinion.

Finally, contradictory to what the reading states, the professor presents the assertion that the local economy is less likely to be affected by the Yellowstone fire, since the impact appears only when large scale damage like this occurs every year这句读着感觉有点不通顺, which is inconsistent with the fact. Only very unusual combination of factors can result in catastrophe like the 1988 forest fire, however, events alike never happens ever since. What is more, streams of tourists still come to Yellowstone park after the fire, which indicates the decline of tourist attraction as the author holds is unreasonable.
（297words）


Your essay is brief but correct and it is the best I have read these days. words marked in purple are excellent ones I need to learn. so I am wondering how do you improve your writing to such a high level. what books have you read? Can you give me some advice?

米陌UID: 2663269

by 米陌

8月2日 20090807NA Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than help determine children's future.
Should children be given the chance to make own choice about their future, or should parents with more experienced to manipulate their offspring's decision-making? The controversial issue between parents and their children has never been out of the limelight. Given the fact that parents are generally more rational and better-informed than youngsters, however, I share the notion that children should be allowed to make their own choices.

First and foremost, nobody but the person himself/herself knows what his/her strengths and weaknesses are, thus no one knows more clearly but（than？觉得毕竟有比较级~但是感觉也可以是not-but的变种） children themselves what is to follow in the future. Basically, many choices are made according to one's preference and abilities. Take career-choosing for example. If you go to a career consultant for advice, the first thing you have to do is to fill out a form in order to know（show、illustrate是不是更好，这里的know也可以理解成是你自己认知自己是怎么样的人，如果这么理解，就有点奇怪了~） what kind of person you are. It can be easily noted that people who tend to be extroverted and easy-going are more suitable for jobs （jobs和retailing or marketing好像不是举例的关系，建议将such as 改成 related to 或把retailing or marketing改为sales representatives）such as retailing or marketing. On the other hand, those who are introverted and less talkative appear to be more successful in researching area.

Moreover, children have to learn to make their own decisions in order to grow. Just imagine that parents control virtually everything in a child's life including decision-making, what will their descendant turn out to be when he/she grows up? It is apparent that children who grow in such atmosphere are unlikely to be independent and confident about the choice they made.

Finally, even though children themselves have deeper understanding of their advantages and disadvantages, nevertheless, parents do have insights into things that children cannot compete. In short, due to the fact that young people are often lack of experience, they may encounter various kind （kinds） of problems when making choices. It is the parents' responsibility to given（give） their offspring guidance over these issues instead of making decisions for them.

To conclude, it is indisputable that giving the opportunity to children themselves to make their own choice can undoubtedly develop their abilities to live independently, and also let the youngster know more about themselves.(350 words)

总体写的不错~学习了~如果能将第二个分论点适当扩充就更好了~

羊小咩89UID: 2848665

22# fyxloveu

F君童鞋话说我们独立是一组的吧。。还有米陌
???
你再仔细看看，我帮你改的是独立喔

愤怒公爵UID: 2929648

The lecturer raises several arguments to counter the reading passage’s strong criticism of the “Let it burn” policy, he points out that the policy is fundamentally good as the author in the reading ignores the creative aspect after the fire.

Primarily, the professor illustrates the viewpoint that the vegetation inside the park is actually diversified, as a result of colonization(好词！) of new plants into the scorched areas. Basically, certain plants flourish after fire, due to the specific environment created. He elaborates on this by saying that smaller trees which require open and unshade conditions appear on the spot that used to be shady with large trees before fire. Additionally, seeds need high level of exposure to germinate also come out. However, the reading believes that the forest’s growth has been given a destructive  strike during Yellowstone fire.

Moreover, similar to（因果关系，楼主听错了，用DUE TO） the case of vegetation population increase, the numbers of animals has also recovered. It can be noted that the newly grow（grown） plants have provides(provided) certain animals with ideal habitats, in which the population of rabbits and hares improve greatly. This results in rising numbers of their predators and thus forming a stronger food chain, which is incongruous with the reading passage’s opinion.

Finally, contradictory to what the reading states, the professor presents the assertion that the local economy is less likely to be affected by the Yellowstone fire, since the impact appears only when large scale damage like this occurs every year, which is inconsistent with the fact. Only very unusual combination of factors can result in catastrophe like the 1988 forest fire, however, events alike never happens ever since. What is more, streams of tourists still come to Yellowstone park after the fire, which indicates the decline of tourist attraction as the author holds is unreasonable.
（297words）

不错，点抓到位了。这个综合质量比较高。

羊小咩89UID: 2848665

8.3独立

写得比较晚不好意思
觉得独立还是没有综合写得顺手啊，感觉每次分论点和举例都需要较长的时间才能想到==
筒子们，在这方面有没什么好的经验呢
PS。大家改完了，麻烦附件给我，thks a lot^_^

羊小咩89UID: 2848665

【作文贴重新运作】
8月暑假考了一次，其实是个惨案，L27，W27，。。。结果还是木有100+， T.T
进过一段伤心季，和开学的忙碌季，终于还是下定决心再战，由于是申2012fall，时间是相当紧张
但是很多好学校都需要100，虽然对于design，大部分都是80+的requirement，实在是不甘心啊
考位还没抢到，大四了还要忙苦逼的毕业设计，WTF！
但是这都不能动摇自己飞跃的决心，这次的目标是110+！

-------我是new strat的分界线---------------------
虽说writing之前考得不差，但是毕竟一个月都没碰了，希望大家多多指教~
而且上次考试之前，觉得无论是综合还是独立，其实都还有上升空间，因为实在是写得不多，看我之前的帖子就知道
尤其是独立，只是考前按着机经写了几篇，很多方面都没有cover到
这次的复习重点是阅读和口语。。writing只求稳中有升就OK
Fighting！

羊小咩89UID: 2848665

【9.19综合】

真是多日没动笔，各种手生 T.T
大家各种拍吧
麻烦改好之后尽量附件给我，thks a lot ^_^

wwwxwwwxUID: 2186411

改好了，加油

alexfanfanUID: 3133140

jan27你没写咯？

羊小咩89UID: 2848665

2月21日 综合
居然传不了附件 ==


TPO12
On the whole, the lecture and the reading passage present contradictory viewpoints on whether the teenage girl in the portrait was Jane Austen. As the lecturer states that although it seems the painting is loosely connected to the Austen’s family, but this does not necessary lead to the result that the subject of the portrait is the novelist herself.

First and foremost, the professor holds the notion that the portrait was authorized by the Austen’s family seventy years after Jane’s death, which suggests that her family members had not seen the novelist in person. This is incongruous with the reading’s argument that the family endorsement works as a supporting fact for the authenticity of the painting.

Moreover, another concept that the lecturer uses to challenge the article is that the teenage girl in the painting is very likely to be a female relative of Jane Austen. This is back up by the fact that the resemblance between the subject in the drawing and the image in Cassandra's sketch.
Besides, the extended Austen's family is large, one of Austen's distance niece is most likely candidate in the painting.

Finally, differ from the belief in the reading passage, the lecturer highlights that the only link between the portrait and the painter Ozias Humphrey is the style. Besides, the stamp on the back of the painting
indicates the canvas used by the painting was sold in London only when Jane Austen was 27 years old, which means the subject in the portrait cannot be the teen Jane Austen.

In summery, judging form all the evidence above, the lecture, in fact, directly retorts what the article suggests.
(273words)