8.28号考试 在职 基础差 求指导

suqi_0073UID: 2976599

一年多以前考了两次托福 一次63 第二次78
28号三战了 怎么也得上80才能申请学校了啊

可是现在的状态实在有点绝望 尤其是gre aw2.0 死的心都有了
所以打算从今天开始每天写一篇 希望各位好心人多给些指导吧

报了王京竹的8.13~8.16号的点题班，病急乱投医吧~到时候上完就把资料都发上来攒人品把~哈哈

切入正题~ 第一篇 上班偷着写的 写完正好300字:L
Agree or disagree, in order to succeed, you should be more like others than be different from everyone else.
  Everyone wants to be successful.The desire to success is inherent no matter who we are or where we come from. But how to succeed? Different people present divergent viwes.As far as I am concened, it is more easy to succeed by following others than doing different from everyone else.
  Firstly, you can get the experience of success by being more like others.It just like the road,as a famous chinese writer LuXun said " For actually the earth had no roads to begin with, but when many men pass one way, a road is made."Others have breaken a road straight to success for you,there is no reason not to follow. The only thing you should do is to walk or to run along this road,and then you will be success.
  On the other hand, doing thing more like others may stop you from making the same mistake as others have made.We can suppose a situation like that,there is an apple in a box and also two buttons on it, peole who set the red button will get the apple,otherwise he or she will get a beat.After watching the reaction of the two buttons, all people will set the red one without thinking.Then what will you do? To be the different one and get the beat? The answer is unquestionable no.The success is just like the apple, fllowing the most people you could get it instead of the beat.
  Maybe many people argue that to creat something new and orliginal could give rise to success since fresh things are easier to catch the attention of people.However not every different idea are outstanding,and not everyone can catch up with an excellent originality.So in my opinion, being more like others could be a more security way to succeed than being different from everyone else.

ellbinUID: 2632561

好像每句话看着都差不多，没什么变化，把短句合并一下，用用长句从句。句与句之间的连接词不是很明显

081100706UID: 3113066

我感觉不够具体，如果语言运用不够熟练的话，就尽量多举些例子，字数也可以上去，也更具有说服力。