issue158

gambellUID: 122696

本来想些提纲的，结果不知怎么回事写成完整的了
郁闷至极
超时，逻辑乱，没词汇，天啊，我要睡觉了
158The arts (music, dance, visual arts, etc.) are vitally important to students' education and should therefore receive as much emphasis as mathematics, science, reading and other mainstream subjects."

A debate on the issue of reform on education never pause for a while since education has been one of the most important elements in social development and construction. By realizing the importance and benefit of learnig art to the students, some groups of people hold the view that arts should be emphasized as other mainstream subjects. However, if more factors were taken in consideration, it is not true.

Admittedly, art, the treasure of human culture, does have great value in educaton since it grows the ability of appreciation and imagination, cleans souls of students while broads their knowledge at the same time. All of the characters are very useful not only to individuals but also to the society. Making up a condition, by listening fair-sounding music and staring at great pictures, people's mind would be lead by the author's information conveyed through their works. Take the music for example, when appreciating them, though no view existed, series of scenes from imagination would come on the heels of each other with every note as a mental stream of mood and knowledge. Thus, through learning of art, education can be more complete in building high quality people to the public.

However, mainstream subjects still take the upmost status in education curriculum for their role as basement of all the technologies and social lives of the human civilization. A person without artistic learning programs may only cause a pity of lack of developed full experience which might increase his/her wisdom. (这句话老说不好)But much worse, one without education of mainstream subjects such as mathematics, sicence and readings would have no fundamental ability to survive in the world. Moreover, mainstream programs build men with more essential characters. Francis Bacon once said, "The mathematics make men subtle; natural philosophy deep; readings witty."(I paraphrase) It prooves the view above.

Another reason that the arts should be the attachment to the mainstream subjects is that the former one's learning needs the ability which is taught through the education of latter programs. How can a person learn arts well wihtout reading and analysis? But one case may be different when a person wants to make arts as his/her future career. In the condition, after learning the most basic mainstream, this one can devote whole of life to the field of arts.

By the comparison of artistic education and present mainstream subjects, people should still hold the one of more importance as their necessary programs to learn. Arts help to make men truebred, while mainstream ones taught them how th survive.

blake_wangUID: 9871

1, this essay incorporates the thinking of the author over art.
2, lack of examples and cases may be detrimental to the health of this essay.
3, a few sentences needs rewrite for clarity and fluency.

gambellUID: 122696

thanks a lot for your criticism
this issue holds a lot of problems
but i can not fully get your meaning of the first sentence , sorry

thank you again
I will check it and rewrite the poor one above

blake_wangUID: 9871

embody

gambellUID: 122696

明白了明白了，我才知道你的author是指我，我现在看到author就以为是题目，条件反射啊