<Daily writing作文小组>Mahone的作文贴

pumpkinbrainUID: 2856860

With the development of the society, people nowadays are getting more and more economically and emotionally independent. Since they can afford themselves on their own or with the help from relatives or friends, then in their opinions, the government's influence can be little. However, as to me it's a little bit haste to say whether one weighs advantages over the other(weigh advantage的用法通常是sb weigh advantage of sth，所以这句的主语应该有问题), or vice visa（versa）.

On one hand, we have to admit that the economy condition has been much higher than the past, which makes our daily life more comfortable and convenient. It's clear that there have appeared many tools or(and) technologies which have never been used before. And with such implements, people throughout the world are getting more connected with each other, especially between relatives. Whenever or wherever we want to have a talk or see someone else far away, we can just take out a multifunctional cellphone and have a close touch with others. Under such circumstances, there is no doubt that emotions between people are deeper. Then with one of them gotten into predicaments, the rest will immediately lend a hand. Take my family for example, once my father's company had suffered a financial crisis. Thanks to my uncle's help, we gradually stepped out of the dilemma. They just provide us with industrial resources and financial help, during which no authoritative organizations have offered any assistance. Therefore, we can just reckon that under certain environments, government's influence can be little.(这一段是讲由于科技进步所以人们感情加深，可以互相帮助，个人觉得前半段太冗长，显得有点偏题)

In addition, there are also some areas where government cannot offer any help. Since we people do have to develop or live on our own some day, then we are supposed to prepare well before challenges or difficulties. It's undeniable that we have to make a choice all by ourselves in some occasions, when nobody else including our parents or friends can provide any convenience, not to mention the government. There comes an example. When we are compelled to step into the society, undoubtedly, we will first have to choose a job. It's mainly one's own will or decision that matters and things outside can shape little. What's more, when lovers came across emotional problems, I think, government can also hardly give a hand. Hence, in many cases, it's just one's own business to solve or overcome difficulties.

However, on the other hand, when it comes to the development of the whole society or country, then government can just stand out and fulfill its responsibilities. We all know that one's individual capacity is so limited that there are oceans of problems which we can't solve like price adjustment, policy decision, the limitation of releasing carbon dioxide and such. But such problems are intimately related with one's life. With their turbulence or disorder, it's hard for everyone to have a normal life. Therefore, we should also value and pay attention to the importance of governments.

In conclusion, based on the reasons I discussed above, I present the view that people are more independent now owning to the current development. But in the same vein, there is no reason that we can belittle the consequence of a government.
第二段的观点和写法都有点绕，别的都挺好的，在楼主这里学到不少写法和用词，非常感谢~

chair020928UID: 2956418

楼主16日的文章写的和作业布置的不一样呀，不过我还是修改了，也谢谢你给我的修改！

wwwxwwwxUID: 2186411

楼主综合写的不错，框架写的很好，加油

callmecUID: 3150809

改好了

Joymoon0307UID: 3145258

9月20日 TOP17 综合修改：

The reading explores the issue of whether increasing population and related agriculture increase and pesticide use would lead to the decline of birds’ population, on which the author of the passage totally agrees , and the lecture also focuses on the same problem. （这句话可以划掉）However, she(the lecture) thinks that such statement may be unconvincing, which contradicts(contradicting) what the reading suggests. She also puts forward three specific details to support her viewpoint.

First, even though the reading suggests that owning to increasing expansion of human population and settlement, much more otherwise birds' natural habitats would be converted into venues for human activity, the professor argues in her lecture that it may not be that pessimistic. This is because there are only some(a few) types of birds that have been declined according to such activities. In fact, many other types of birds are indeed increasing which can now live in better and larger urban habitats. Apparently, the professor disproves its counterpart in the reading.

Second, despite the reading's statement(reading states) that agriculture activities increase can also result in destruction of bird habitats due to wilderness devastation, the professor contends to the opposite. She supports her assertion by pointing out that even though the increase of agriculture activity is true; there are less and less wild lands which have been exploited for plough. In other words, now people have introduced a new type of crop which can produce more food with occupying less land. This also refutes what the reading states successfully.

Third, the professor of the lecture asserts that the fact that chemical pesticides are detrimental to the development of birds can be incorrect whereas the author of the reading claims otherwise. She substantiates that this claim is untenable with the fact that people nowadays are more aware of protecting ecosystems. They have employed new ways to keep agriculture activity normal, which includes developing new less poisonous chemical pesticides and growing pest resistant crops, which(that 一个句子中有两个which定从了) in turn can also lead to less use of chemical pesticides. This again goes opposite to what the reading indicates.

基本要点都全，用词变化也很多。


词汇积累：
悲观的：pessimistic；gloomy；dim；
破坏：destruction；devastation；

zongshi89811UID: 2960336

楼主的文章不错啊，造诣很高，但是有些文章的开头有点老套，段内内容有点罗嗦和重复，但这些都不算太大问题。估计发挥正常有27、8分，楼主考过后，记得来这里报分……嘿嘿:lol

Joymoon0307UID: 3145258

9月20日 Independent
20100306NA Some people believe that people should follow their ambitious dreams and goals even they are not realistic; others believe that people should focus on achieving realistic goals. What’s your opinion and why? Use specific reasons to support your answer.
Words：472
非限时训练


With the development of our society, people nowadays are increasingly involved in achieving success, which can bring them fame and money and thus appeal to them a lot. However, in terms of goals, they focus on different aspects of it, ambitious or realistic? Personally speaking, I'd prefer a realistic goal aimed at in the long run.

The main reason for my view is that it may be hard for people to achieve ambitious dreams. It's common knowledge that we have been receiving education for the past 20 years, during which schools or teachers always forced(force) us to work hard instead of chasing the rainbows. Therefore, there must be some bad effects when we focus on day dreaming or have a dream that is not so realistic. What can that be? From my perspective, I think ambitious dreams are often too difficult to approach. Once people are faced with it, it's easy(likely) that people will be frustrated and don’t know where to begin. What's more, since its standard can be too high, dream catchers are very likely to suffer high pressure and bad feelings when faced(facing或者they face) with difficulties. Then projects or programs may be suspended by them, ending up with no good results. Take my own experience as an example, when I first entered the university, my only goal was to study the best in my major. And with such high requirement, I just didn't know what to do. Once I failed in one exam, I would think that it has been far away from me and I began to bear an awful feeling. Just as the vicious spiral goes, I finally got a bad result in that semester.

On the other hand, ambitious goals do（我觉得改成may/will/would读起来更明白） have an intoxicating effect on people, which can easily make people get lost in day dreaming that deters them from going forward. It's known secret that fame and high score appeal to people a lot. Once when(When和Once留一个) people have aimed at high goals, unconsciously people are（they would be） enchanted by such feigned results. When people are preparing for the goal, once they think of such goals, it's undeniable that they may get lost and dream about life after such success（改成dream about the after success life怎么样？） etc. and etc.（again and again或者over and over?） Vicious circles appear again. And then they cease their preparation, which absolutely leads (would lead)a total failure. Once when(When和Once留一个)  I took the first TOEFL exam, I just aimed at getting a score of 100 or above since I have (had)taken GRE first(before怎么样？). However, under the circumstance(status) of high demand and incorrect self-assessment, I was often intoxicated by nonexistent result and suspended my preparation again and again. Finally, when the exam was around the corner, I realized how abysmal I was in mock examination. However, it's too late.

In conclusion, based on the reasons I discussed above, I'd definitely present the view that realistic goals do good to my development in terms of ambitious ones' bad effect.

albert199010UID: 2726886

9.21 independent 已经改好了

窝头拌咸菜UID: 3033645

23# albert199010
呃，你改好的作文在哪？