<Daily writing作文小组>zgxl的作文贴

zgxlUID：2773910

新人。。。忐忑。。。求指教














9月10日 20090911NA Only movies that can teach us something about
real life is worth watching..agree or disagree.

I am a huge fan of detective movies, which are usually not able to teach me anything in real life, as I am only a student at school, not a police man. There are many fans of Sherlock Holmes too, who watch the movies just because they appreciate his talent in deductions and the interesting cases. To see the right beats the wrong with intelligence, that’s amazing. So not only movies that can teach us something about real life is worth watching, there are many other kind of movies such as fancy movies, detective movies, horror movies are worth watching too.

The fancy movies can show us how the imagination of human being can have been developed. The ideas about the universe and gods are all attractive to many people. We can do more brain work while we watch such kid of films. We can see how things transform into each others and how to kill varies kinds of ghosts in the hit show supernatural. It’s the most famous fancy series in the USA, which is shooting the seventh season now. People can learn about both natural science and old myths in it and having fun too.

The detective movies are made for the viewers who appreciate intelligence and talent people. We can not see our real life in the stories of Sherlock Holmes, but we’d like to find out how he is doing his work. His observations always bring us a new sight towards the cases and the methods he use to solve them always out of our imagination. The stories let us content with the clever work and brilliant deductions. People can practice their logics too by watching them too.

The horror movies usually have nothing to do with real life too. People don’t need the movies to teach them how to handle with ghosts or serious killers, but still want to watch them in order to get some kind of excitement. It’s just like someone who likes spicy food. The feeling of horror is just like the spicy taste which makes people exciting.

There are many movies about real life. They can teach us many things such us how to study, how to love and how to communicate with other people. But that’s not the only thing we want to get from the movie. People watch films in order to have fun. They like to try all kinds of subjects. All the subjects can bring them different feelings. So I quite not agree with the statement that only movies that can teach us about real life worth watching.

tequilawineUID：2702008

I am a huge fan of detective movies, which are usually not able to teach me anything in real life, as I am only a student at school, not a police man本来是说电影,这么一说便成是你自己的问题了. There are many fans of Sherlock Holmes too, who watch the movies just because they appreciate his talent in deductions and the interesting cases. To see the right beats有这么用的么? the wrong with intelligence, that’s amazing. So not only movies that can teach us something about real life is worth watching, there are many other kind of movies such as fancy movies, detective movies, horror movies are worth watching too. 你前面说没有教给你什么后面怎么有说可以,我觉得没有转折,变化太大了?

The fancy movies can show us how the imagination of human being can have been developed. The ideas about the universe and gods are all attractive to many people.这有点敏感的问题不要说We can do more brain work while we watch such kid of films. We can see how things transform into each others and how to kill varies kinds of ghosts in the hit show supernatural. It’s the most famous fancy series in the USA, which is shooting the seventh season now. People can learn about both natural science and old myths in it and having fun too.这个论点和论据都不足以支撑你的文章，

detective movies are made for the viewers who appreciate intelligence and talent people. We can not see our real life in the stories of Sherlock Holmes, but we’d like to find out how he is doing his work. His observations always bring us a new sight towards the cases and the methods he use to solve them always out of our imagination. The stories let us be content with the clever work and brilliant deductions. People can practice their logics too by watching them可以去掉too.

The horror movies usually have nothing to do with real life too. People don’t need the movies to teach them how to handle with ghosts or serious killers, but still want to watch them in order to get some kind of excitement. It’s just like someone who likes spicy food. The feeling of horror is just like the spicy taste which makes people exciting.这个不是有你来决定，可能别人想锻炼自己的意志呢，
]: V; s/ C  o
There are many movies about real life. They can teach us many things such us how to study, how to love and how to communicate with other people. But that’s not the only thing we want to get from the movie. People watch films in order to have fun. They like to try all kinds of subjects. All the subjects can bring them different feelings. So I quite not agree with表达有误 the statement that only movies that can teach us about real life worth watching.你这段说的太空了，没有例子。

文章的论证不太清晰，逻辑和思路要先立清楚再说，我感觉你好像一直在说科幻题材的影视的好处，偏题有点严重。

zgxlUID：2773910

2# tequilawine

多谢大侠修改
请教下逻辑问题：题目是只有现实受教的电影值得看，我的思路是想，做驳论，只要论证还有其他类型电影值得看，逻辑上就成了，所以一直论证科幻侦探恐怖这种即时不指导生活也有值得看的地方
不知道对不对

samuelandcarolUID：3161566

I am a huge fan of detective movies(film), which are usually not able(unable) to teach me anything in real life,(句号结尾 后起 A) as I am only a student at school, not a police man. There are many fans of Sherlock Holmes too(too有点没由来), who watch the movies just because they appreciate his talent in deductions and the interesting cases. To see the right beats the wrong with intelligence, that’s amazing. So not only movies that can teach us something about real life is worth watching, there are many other kind of movies such as fancy movies, detective movies（你这个前头都举例过了）, horror movies are worth watching too。（你这是电影类型和类型的比较么？ 首先你跑题了啊 而且就算你这个句话要写的有逻辑也要把not only 后改成 不仅侦探电影能教我，其它类型的片子也值得看 这才通顺嘛……）9 J9 R
. u7 H' s+ r& u& |) a( l7 ?, T  m2 G- P  k7 z
The fancy movies can show us how the imagination of human being can have been developed（直接：how to develop the imagination）. The ideas about the universe and gods are all attractive to（for） many people. We can do more brain work while we watch such kid（这个注意拼写哈） of films. We can see how things transform into（are turned into 你用的是主动，这里是东西被转换 用被动） each others and how to kill varies kinds of ghosts in the hit show supernatural（没明白你后三个单词组成的意思，这里不应该出现动词）. It’s （指代不清）the most famous fancy series in the USA, which is shooting the seventh season now. People can learn about both natural science and old myths in it and having fun（getting pleasure） too.
: f3 y* c8 y6 r- C3 h# A" V% ~
The detective movies are made for the viewers who appreciate intelligence and talent （这两个要用形容词）people. We can not（cannot） see our real life in the stories of Sherlock Holmes, but we’d like to find out how （does）he is（去掉） doing his work. His observations always bring us a new sight towards the cases and the methods he use（esed） to solve them always out of our imagination. The stories let us content with the clever work and brilliant deductions. People can practice their logics too by watching them too（两too都去了）.

The horror movies usually have nothing to do with real life too（被你弄晕了，你到底是要说明什么啊，一会有否定了，逻辑很混乱啊）. People don’t need the movies to teach them how to handle with ghosts or serious killers, but still want to watch them in order to get some kind of excitement. It’s just like someone who likes spicy food. The feeling of horror is just like the spicy taste which makes people exciting.

There are many movies about（base on） real life. They can teach us many things such us how to study, how to love and how to communicate with other people. But that’s not the only thing we want （can）to（去掉） get from the movie（s）. People watch films in order to have fun. They like to try all kinds of subjects（like to experience all kinds of life）. All the subjects can bring them different feelings. So I quite not agree with the statement that only movies that can teach us about real life worth watching.

zgxlUID：2773910

4# samuelandcarol

多谢大侠修改
请教下逻辑问题：题目是只有现实受教的电影值得看，我的思路是想，做驳论，只要论证还有其他类型电影值得看，逻辑上就成了，所以一直论证科幻侦探恐怖这种即时不指导生活也有值得看的地方
不知道对不对

另，里面那个您说没看懂的 the hit show supernatrual --supernatrual 是个电视剧名字，原来用斜体来着，贴过来没显示出来，热门电视剧hit show,好像听人家这么说来的。。。