TPO6综合写作求拍

iloveeeUID: 2448955

TPO6的综合写作，求狠拍

hknzhUID: 3116681

咱们互相看一下吧，这是偶的：
The focus of the reading material and the lecture is whether the communal online encyclopedia is outweigh the traditional papery encyclopedia. The reading material suggests that there are several disadvantages existed in communal version. While the speaker in her lecture clearly does not agree with what the reading material suggests.

To begin with, the speaker points out that the communal online encyclopedia is easier to be revised if some errors are discovered. On the contrary, many mistakes can be lasted in traditional papery version for a long time. This apparently challenges the points made in the reading material. According to the reading material, there are more errors existed in the communal version because the participators are lack of academic credentials. In addition, in accordance with the speaker, The contents of communal online encyclopedia can be settled as read-only format, which is not allowed to be revised without permission. What's more, a group of editors mainly focus on monitoring the security online can basically resist the hackers' attacks. Instead of leaving natural omissions provided for hackers to make use of, the communal version can effectively solve the security problems online.

Furthermore, the speaker also doubts the writer's viewpoint by asserting that the traditional papery encyclopedias are always lack of spaces, which mainly cause the problem of just including the limited topics compared with the communal version. The latter ones cover a variety of topics that reflects all kinds of people's opinions. On the contrary, the writer claims that the over-broad themes make confusion for people to distinguish what are the truly important contents.

hknzhUID: 3116681

总体很不错，但是第二个argument貌似少了其中一小点（read-only format那个），其他的就是再仔细一点就好啦，比如不要遗漏because of的of，strategy和contributor的拼写等等~~

iloveeeUID: 2448955

3# hknzh 哈哈，谢谢哈！嗯，我就是没有听清楚那个小点，所以没写上去。你的文章我觉得不错，就是有些词可能没用对，is outweigh应该改成outweigh，does not agree改成disagree的话可能感觉更简洁一些，settled as应该是set as吧。
还有就是，我觉得3点还是分成3个段写的话可能更清晰一些~

hknzhUID: 3116681

采纳了，分三段写三个观点~~3Q