求各位大侠帮忙看看这篇雅思大作文 求修改意见 我是一只苦逼烤鸭3

思佳小达人UID: 3185852

Long distance flight consumes natural resources and pollutes the air. Some people think it should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


It is an indisputable fact that long distance flight has brought significant changes to our lifes because of its influnce on both people’s way of travel and business efficiency. Yet, there remains agreement as whether it is high time that we banned this way of transport. While there are certainly valid arguments to this view, I personally believe the benefits of long distance far outweigh its drawbacks. The benefits are twofold.

First of all, undeniably, long distance flight has put the entire world under our feet. In earlier days, it took years for people from faraway places to meet each other. Now, however, most of us have benefited from this mode of transportation due to the fact that it immeasurably shortens the time for people to see their family members. Take myself for example, fortunately, with the help of aeroplanes, I spend only two hours on my way home to uninversity, as oppose to 22 hours if I chose the train as the traportation tool. Therefore, long distance travel has revolutionised people’s way of travel.

It is also evident from the fact that long distance flight boosts the peole’s efficiency of doing business. Hardly can business partners from remote locations reach an agreement rapidly without the assistance of flight. Also indispensibly, the business owners need to take flight to supervise their company branchs abroad. IBM, for example, has built up lots of branchs in China. The absence of instant face-to-face guidance from the headquarters may ruin some businesses when problems occur. Conversly, long distance flight can probably tackle all these issues. Thus, I would contend that long distance flight markedly enhance the business efficiency.

Admittedly, flight has brought environmental pollution to the society. Practicable and effective ways of curbing it are needed.

By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that we should not ban long distance because of its positive impact on both people’s way of travel and business efficiency.

bqianaUID: 193168

哦，5.5
审题有问题
你参加过雅思培训课吗？

思佳小达人UID: 3185852

上过的强化班+写作VIP。。。我想起来了是不是应该这样写
P1背景介绍，提出争议的问题。
P2让步段，承认Long distance flight consumes natural resources and pollutes the air，接下来举两个分论点。
P3论述如果ban了的话，会带来哪些后果。
P4结论它确实consumes natural resources and pollutes the air，但是他不能被禁止。
求大侠指点

bqianaUID: 193168

嗯这样好多了，你改写后再贴出来看

思佳小达人UID: 3185852

It is an indisputable fact that long distance flight has brought significant changes to our lives in recent years. Yet, there remains disagreement to the proliferation of it because of its negative impact on both resources and air. Some people claim that it is high time that we banned long distance flight.

Admittedly, long distance flight consistently consumes natural resources and considerably pollutes the air. First of all, undeniably, in order to accomplish faraway travel, aeroplanes deplete a large amount of fuel, which is non-renewable resources. In the process of consuming tons of fuel, the dearth of resources will be increasingly severe, thus having negative effect on the sustainable development of the humankind. Furthermore, it is also manifest that the emissions discharge from the flight pollutes the air. As a consequence, the poisonous gases markedly accumulate in the atmosphere above our head, giving rises to the healthy problems suffered by the humanity.

However, I would contend that we should not put an end to the widespread use of airplants. Two primary reasons associated with this view are as follows. The first may invovle the recognition that hardly can people from faraway places meet each other in a short time without the flights. In earlier years, it was unrealistic for family members from remote locations to be always together. Currently, however, most of us have benefited from planes due to that it immeasurably shortens travel time. Equally important, long distance flight enables business-owners to build up worldwide branchs without too much worry about the emergence of the commercial hazard. Undeniably, with the assistance of flight, the instant face-to-face guidance from headance is available when probems occur. Therefore, I am convinced that long distance planes should not be prohibited for the sake of individual and tradesmen.

By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that we should not ban long distance flight on the whole. To avoid the threat posed by aeroplanes, people should formulate practicable and effective ways to tackle the problems.