我的作文互改贴

kind03UID: 3004042

https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1285161&page=1&extra=#pid1775363428IBT之大家来写作 Daily Writing Camp-作文特训小组【2011.7.18开始使用】

写得很烂，欢迎拍砖

1月3日 110402NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? When you choose a university，是prefer毕业生就业好的，还是有famous professor的

31min  405 words  2012/1/3

It seems that in China, most students and their parents are much more concerned with the employment status of a university than the academic environment. The reason probably is that Chinese thinks attending universities is a means of getting more money in the work rather than a pursue of knowledge.

Though I think pursuing of knowledge is important, I will choose universities with a good employment status, too. I have two reasons to support my point.

First of all, if we do not have enough money to subsist ourselves, why do we need knowledge? China is not a rich country, and most Chinese are striving for their lives. So university graduates need a good job to support themselves and their family financially. Furthermore, jobs are hard to get in these days, what if I graduated from a school with many famous professors but failed to find a job?

Second, famous professor also do not means you can learn much. Most famous professors are very busy, and they do not have much time to teach students, especially undergraduate students. Yet they spend most of their time in researching. So if we are just undergraduate students, famous professors probably is not an advantage for university. We can't learn more from these professors than from other teachers. For example, there's a famous professor Dr. Wang in our psychology department. He published many articles in the core journals of the country. He did give us undergraduate students classes once a week when we were junior, but we couldn’t see that he spent much time preparing the lecture and he also wasted much time of his class just complaining about the higher educational system in China. Though these complaints did help us to learn the drawbacks of higher educational system, but it also deprived the opportunity of giving the real psychological knowledge.

Dr. Wang was my thesis advisor in my senior year. However, he seldom replied my emails and messages; he even seldom answered my telephone call, just because he was very busy. I had a lot of questions about my graduation thesis but he had no time to answer it. Therefore, I think this famous professor do no good on earth to our undergraduate students. I would rather have an infamous professor to be my thesis advisor.

Concluding, above the two reasons stated in the paragraph, I think famous professor is not important, and I prefer to choose a university with good employment status.

danteksjUID: 2977437

1# kind03 It seems that in China, most students and their parents are much more concerned with the employment status of a university than the academic environment. The reason probably is that Chinese thinks(主谓不一致) attending universities is a means of getting more money in the work rather than a pursue of （pursuing） knowledge.
- A) L$ g2 G9 Z* |/ m8 v
Though I think pursuing （the pursuit）of knowledge is important, I will choose universities with a good employment status, too. I have two reasons to support my point. 开头清楚 挺好的~

First of all, if we do not have enough money to subsist ourselves, why do we need knowledge? China is not a rich country, and most Chinese are striving for their lives. So university graduates need a good job to support themselves and their family financially. Furthermore, jobs are hard to get in these days, what if I graduated from a school with many famous professors but failed to find a job?  这段很有力

Second, （choosing universities with）famous professor（加s） also do not means（s去掉） you can learn much. Most famous professors are very busy, and they do not have much time to teach students, especially undergraduate students. Yet （这不是转折关系 yet去掉）they spend most of their time in（spend+on） researching. So if we are just undergraduate students, famous professors probably is not an advantage for university. We can't learn more from these professors than from other teachers. For example, there's a famous professor Dr. Wang in our psychology department. He published many articles in the core journals of the country. He did give us undergraduate students classes once a week when we were junior, but we couldn’t see that he spent much time preparing the lecture and he also wasted much time of his class just complaining about the higher educational system in China. Though these complaints did help us to learn the drawbacks of higher educational system, but it also deprived the opportunity of giving the real psychological knowledge.
! C0 M( ?2 ^4 Y6 ~# x9 G3 o
Dr. Wang was my thesis advisor in my senior year. However, he seldom replied my emails and messages; he even seldom answered my telephone call, just because he was very busy. I had a lot of questions about my graduation thesis but he had no time to answer it. Therefore, I think this famous professor do no good on earth to our undergraduate students. I would rather have an infamous（注意！！！这词意思是臭名昭著的，，） professor to be my thesis advisor.8 j* b, m$ V" V; I; {$ c4 G

Concluding, above the two reasons stated in the paragraph, I think famous professor is not important, and I prefer to choose a university with good employment status.

论证流畅清楚
我觉得可以加段说employment status的好 要不字数少 也有些单薄

kind03UID: 3004042

TPO14 综合写作

WORDS:160 TIME:20MIN Date: 2012/1/4

The professor cast doubts on the passages on three points.

First, the professor says that the salvage tree will provide much nutrition to the soil to help the new trees to grow rather than take up the space for new tress as the passage states. If cutting these salvage trees will affect the growing of new plants due to the lack of nutrition.

Third, the professor says that decaying wood is not only suitable for harmful insects like spruce bark beetle, but also suitable for many beneficial insect and birds. If the rooting wood is removed, the new plants will be harmed by more harmful insects.

Third, the professor acknowledged that salvage logging will bring economic benefits. But she argues that the economic benefits is limited, since these fired wood can only make some expansive things, and the job it offered is only temporal. And the job are usually filled with technical works from other places rather than native workers.

kind03UID: 3004042

TPO15 综合写作

WORDS: 211  TIME: 25 MIN  DATE: 2012/1/3

In the lecture, the professor totally did not agree with the opinion stated in the paragraph about how to control to number of cane toad in Australia.

First, the professor argues that the fence cannot prevent the advance of the toads since toad eggs can travel in the river and then pass through the fence. Only a small amount of egg can reproduce a large number of toads.

On the second point on the passage, the professor says that untrained volunteers could capture and destroy toads, but they cannot distinguish can toads from native frog, especially when they are very young. What's more, native frogs are poisonous and may harm volunteers.

About the third point on the passage, the professor also cast doubts the using of virus. She says that using disease-causing virus could control the number of toads in Australia, but it will also do harm to the cane toads in their native habitat --Central and South America, since infected toads can be easily taken to there by other people like pets collectors. The spread of the virus on cano toads in their native habitat will have disastrous effect on the local ecosystem.

Therefore, the proposal in the paragraph are completely jeopardized by the lecture made by the professor

kind03UID: 3004042

1月5日100508NA In order to be more financially responsible when we are adults, we should learn how to manage money at young ages., ?  G: ?) g/ h9 p1 z

TIME: 30 min  WORDS:284  2011-12-31  

尼玛，完全不知道financial responsible是什么意思……这是文化差异么……这文章必然偏题了呀

The problem of "Chinese mum" started to be known by American these years. Since Chinese mothers take care of everything of their children, when their children become adults, they cannot live independently, and of course, most of them fail to manage their own money. They do not know how to save money and how to make plan about how to spend money. After seeing these children, I think most will agree with the opinion in the statement.

I also have the problem decribeddescribed in the statement now. My mother does not give me money regulelyregularly and also do not teach me how to manage. If I wanted money, I would advance to my mother, and she would give me the amount more than I had asked.

And now, the problem comes, that I spend too much a lot of moenymoney every month. It seems that I need more money that other young men and women do. I usually spend over 1500 yuan per month, but most no more than 1200, especially girls, most of them no more than 1000.

Then my mother saw the problem and started to give me money reguallyregularly, for 1200 yuanYuan per month. After that policy, I find I become miserly, since for every month the money is not enough, and I start to think a lot over if spending money on my friends. For example, if my friends and I go out for a dinner, I feel unwilling to pay more than others, and even unwilling to pay any.

I think this is due to the lack of finicialfinancial education and practice in my young age. So I am not a financial responsible man.

Besides, I also want to talk about what is financial responsibility.