issue34 关于教育目的的讨论，这是我感觉最好的一篇了，恳请大家给我泼点冷水！

happyman2000UID: 136936

Issue 34 instead of requiring students to take courses in a variety of disciplines—courses ranging from the arts and the humanities to the physical and biological sciences—colleges and universities should allow students to enroll only in those courses that will help prepare them for jobs in their chosen fields. Such concentration is necessary in today’s increasingly work-oriented society.
学校与其让学生们学习种类繁多的课程------艺术、人类学到物理、生物科学，还不如只让学生们学习针对以后工作而开设的有针对性的课程。这样的集中方式顺应了目前工作为主的社会。

The above argument completely neglects the internal value and essence of college education. If it were put into effect, not only the education itself but also the whole society would undergo a severe devastation. Even for the sake of practicality, also it is not necessarily a good suggestion and will seriously mislead students in their future.   

When it is concerned with the purpose and essence of education, at the beginning one must refer to the father of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson, whose influence upon the American and world education has reached far into even today. One of his most famous apothegms about education is that the truly valuable education should be aiming at the improvement of both one’s “moralities” and “faculties”. Varying greatly though people’s understanding over this idea is over times, seldom did they suspect its justification and insightfulness. Therefore, it is safe to base our analysis upon this thought in order to determine whether students should be allow to enroll only in those work-oriented courses.  

There is almost no escaping the fact that the purely vocation-oriented education is quite inconsistent with developing a lofty or decent moral in students. In traditional society, it was family and community that transmitted its basic values, conventions and moralities to children. As time goes by, however, this role and responsibility have been gradually shifted to schools and teachers, either for better or worse. If the whole education becomes completely vocation-oriented, the education of moralities is certain to become secondary for both schools and students, and the neglecting of moral education will become something sooner or later. That is to say, modern education system will fail to undertake the responsibilities that traditional family and community transmitted to it. To some extent, this is just what happens in many schools of many counties. As a result, when we continuously complain the decline in moralities, no one realizes that it intrinsically origins from the absence of roles to undertake the duty for moral education.        

Also a work-oriented education contradicts fundamentally with the aim of improving “faculties”. Vocational education differs from academic education in that it lays more emphasis on the teaching of methods, techniques and specific knowledge, while the latter values more the nurturing of a profound, well-rounded intelligence and character. In a word, vocational education simply stuffs students with all kinds of practical “content”, which has little to do with improving “faculties”. By this education, maybe we will “produce” a larger number of qualified engineers or specialists, but really great thinkers like Newton, Einstein or Karl Marx would never come up. Obviously, such a vocational education aims at temporary mean benefits, far more than the long-term and actually valuable ones of human beings.      

Furthermore, even when practical goals are involved, the work-oriented courses also are not necessary good choices for student. The rapid growth of modern science and technology makes professions ceaselessly changeable, new ones continuously emerging and old ones continuously disappearing. On this occasion, it is high likely that the “hot” courses for jobs today will become completely obsolete, unwelcome by market. Taking merely vocation-oriented courses, thus, means a higher risk for students. However, this kind of risk can be greatly avoided by non-work-oriented education, that is, academic education through which we can learn some “life skills”—skills including logic thinking, reasoning, synthesizing, and creative problem-solving. Undoubtedly, these personal faculties will never be out of date and can ensure a brilliant future for students who are excellent in these aspects.  

In conclusion, there is always something that is perpetual in the nature of education, and it never changes with the change of people’s focus, interest or preference. The pursuit of education for moralities and faculties is certainly just such an epitome. Perhaps that is what we can learn from Thomas Jefferson and the above discussion.   (634 words)

happyman2000UID: 136936

还没人回复，顶一下！

angeikimUID: 4857

不错，感觉语言表达，语气，都很适当。(i just got up:p so, only read the first 3 para, but i definitely can tell your improving writing skill, guy ^_^ )
不过，第一段，第一句，the argument 可以不可以考虑改为this speech...the statement 其他的？
第二句的it, 改成this measure 要好多了，因为感觉IT指代不清。

imongUID: 140258

Issue 34 instead of requiring students to take courses in a variety of disciplines—courses ranging from the arts and the humanities to the physical and biological sciences—colleges and universities should allow students to enroll only in those courses that will help prepare them for jobs in their chosen fields. Such concentration is necessary in today’s increasingly work-oriented society.
学校与其让学生们学习种类繁多的课程------艺术、人类学到物理、生物科学，还不如只让学生们学习针对以后工作而开设的有针对性的课程。这样的集中方式顺应了目前工作为主的社会。

The above argument completely neglects the internal value and essence of college education. If it were （Were it 虚拟语气加倒装）put into effect, not only the education itself but also the whole society would undergo （suffer） a severe devastation. Even for the sake of practicality, also it is not necessarily a good suggestion and will seriously mislead students in their future. (Neither is it a good suggestion for the sake of its practicality, and it may seriously mislead university students in their future.)

When it is (去掉it is 改改主语，这样会舒服些) concerned with the purpose and essence of education, at the beginning one must refer to the father of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson, whose influence upon the American and world education has reached far （加逗号，even into today）into even today. One of his most famous apothegms about education is that the truly valuable education should be aiming at the improvement of both one’s “moralities” and “faculties”. Varying greatly though people’s understanding over this idea is over times (怪怪的？), seldom did they suspect its justification (rightfulness) and insightfulness. Therefore, it is safe to base our analysis upon this thought in order to determine whether students should be allow to enroll only in those work-oriented courses.

There is almost no escaping（？） the fact that the purely vocation-oriented （好词）education is quite inconsistent with developing a lofty or decent （考虑一下形容词是否合适） moral in students. In traditional society, it was family and community that transmitted its (their) basic values, conventions and moralities to children. As time goes by, however, this role and responsibility have been gradually shifted to schools and teachers, either for better or worse. If the whole education becomes completely vocation-oriented, the education of moralities is certain to become secondary for both schools and students, and the neglecting of moral education will become something sooner or later. That is to say, modern education system will fail to undertake the responsibilities that traditional family and community transmitted to it (passed on to them). To some extent, this is just what happens in many schools of many counties. As a result, when we continuously complain the decline in moralities (moral standards), no one realizes that it intrinsically origins (originates) from the absence of roles to undertake the duty for moral education.

Also a work-oriented education contradicts fundamentally with the aim of improving “faculties”. Vocational education differs from academic education in that it lays more emphasis on the teaching of methods, techniques and specific knowledge, while the latter values more the nurturing of a profound, well-rounded intelligence and character. In a word, vocational education simply stuffs students with all kinds of practical “content”, which has little to do with improving “faculties”. By this education, maybe we will “produce” a larger number of qualified engineers or specialists, but really (删掉really) great thinkers like Newton, Einstein or Karl Marx would never come up. Obviously, such a vocational education aims at temporary mean benefits, far more than the long-term and actually valuable ones of human beings. (论点不要偏掉，或者就算是偏论点也要有说服力)

Furthermore, even when practical goals are involved, the work-oriented courses also are not necessary good choices for student. The rapid growth of modern science and technology makes professions ceaselessly changeable, new ones continuously emerging and old ones continuously disappearing. On this occasion, it is high likely （highly possible）that the “hot” (直接说popular) courses for jobs today will become completely obsolete, unwelcome by market(把obsolete放后边用个递进). Taking merely vocation-oriented courses, thus, means a higher risk for students. However, this kind of risk can be greatly avoided by non-work-oriented education, that is, academic education through which we can learn some “life skills”—skills including logic thinking, reasoning, synthesizing, and creative problem-solving. Undoubtedly, these personal faculties will never be out of date and can ensure a brilliant future for students who are excellent in these aspects.
（work-oriented和vocation-oriented是不是一回事啊，现在的情况这样变换词汇好像不太合适）

In conclusion, there is always something that is perpetual in the nature of education, and it never changes with the change of people’s focus, interest or preference. The pursuit of education for moralities and faculties is certainly just such an epitome. Perhaps that is what we can learn from Thomas Jefferson and the above discussion. (634 words)
词汇很丰富，很好，但是justification不要用错了。下面一定要注意加强句子结构的组织，好词放到好位置，珍珠要给串起来嘛。
说理感觉有点别扭。
不管了，这篇issue要是拿去应该有5分了吧
我觉得如果我们下手的时候不是太“好高骛远”的话都可以保证4分的

happyman2000UID: 136936

thanks to imong !
you are so efficient!

imongUID: 140258

我觉得现在不局限于今天写好明天写坏
练习的目的是获得稳定的应付考试能力，而且要至少能持续一两天的稳定

paisleyUID: 64183

happyman我觉得你的语言已经很不错了，其实不一定要这么勤奋，每天都写。对你来说隔几天写一篇也完全可以，每天写写提纲就行了

imongUID: 140258

前提是他是在时间限制内搞定
是吗？
我可就惨了，且没到那么强呢

happyman2000UID: 136936

我的速度太慢，没有一篇在一个小时内搞定! 我想多练练可以提高写作速度。

feier521UID: 109747

呵呵，我也是很慢。怎么办啊？？
这几天试着在一个小时内完成，写的东西乱七八糟，思路混乱。都没脸往上贴了。

happyman2000UID: 136936

我觉得提高速度，一靠速度，这必须练；二靠准备，必须对所有的题目非常熟悉。说白了，多花时间。现在的GRE，作文已经成了最重要的部分了，舍不得花时间也的花呀！

brilliant77UID: 11224

我觉得必须要天天写！前几天上新东方，几天没写，再写时就没感觉了，真的！当然牛人除外！

happyman2000UID: 136936

咱们都不是大牛，所以要多写！