[未归类] 水果的夏天作文贴 [复制链接]

水果的夏天
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发表于 2012-6-5 23:56:11 |只看该作者

6.5

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We soon believe what we desire.

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shendaisy0702
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发表于 2012-6-6 11:11:39 |只看该作者

改好了喔。加油。我貌似发不了附件呢。

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shendaisy0702
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发表于 2012-6-6 11:13:14 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 shendaisy0702 于 2012-6-6 11:17 编辑

More and more technological devices developed nowadays appeal(ed) to people of its function and entertainment. However, we should wait until many have acquired it., the reason are as following.

Firstly, when the first production come into the market, a lot of people will crazily rush to buy it. These people will be the first (customers) to use the production before we know (new features and functions) about this product. So they will have whether good or bad experience about the products. We can (know) these products(用well 或者 better) according to their experience. If the product is not as good as we think, we will have other options (这里换个词来说，用options可能比instead要好一些。). However, while we buy these products right away, we may regret our action after we found these problems of it. So waiting is the best choice for us to make consideration(这里会不会用the decision更好一些呢？).

Secondly, the second one is better than the first one(感觉这句不是特别必要，可以直接把后面那句跟上吗？或者可以说 the latest devices will always be better than the previous one). Because products will be improved and perfected by updating it(them). The first one must be incomplete and faulty.(这两句可以并起来喔, later products will be improved and perfected by updating them while the previous one must be out of fashion or within bugs.) When people bought (the device,这里代词容易混淆，建议直接说device吧。) initially, some of (the customers) will complain about it to the company which would accumulate these advices and amend these defects. Hence, the latter the product produce, the better they are. Therefore people will buy better ones using same (amount of money).

Thirdly, the price will decrease after a long time. At the beginning, many people will be curious about it and buy it immediately so that the price will continue to increase until lower numbers(less amount) of people buy it. For selling more products, company have to (这里decide比较主观，但是公司一般都会是迫不得已的，所以用have to吧) decline the price of products to attract people. Thus we can buy the same thing without wasting money.

In sum, we will wait until many have acquired (device) that we can save money and get good thing.(better ones，在这里重复一下题目是不是更好呢？)

总体还是不错的，有些小地方还是要注意喔。三个点很清晰，继续加油喔~~夏天。
如果我有说错或者理解错的地方，多多包涵咯。:D 本来用word修改挺好的，可是我加不了附件，有些地方有错，抱歉咯。

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