【独立写作】wuxiang0220的作业贴

tom_cybamicUID: 2475644

0803作文- BY wuxiang .doc (30 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2012-8-5 13:47:05 上传

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0804作文- BY wuxiang .doc (27 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2012-8-5 13:47:01 上传

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已改，多交流

wp3026557UID: 3252971

已改

zhaoxiaoshuaiUID: 3020532

8.5 已改，请参考，欢迎质疑啊，因为我也不专业。。。

metabolism君UID: 3354271

8月6号的作文修改，抱歉有点晚了，因为今天我摔了一跤，而且刚刚才有网上。。。因为我没有上传权限，所以就只能贴在这里了，将就着看吧，欢迎拍砖~~
All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what field they study in. Do you agree with this statement?

Recently, a debate about if we should put history as a required course shows up in our sight. The reason of different interests and heavy load can support my opinion that we shouldn’t push every student to take history course.

My first reason,conpicuous (拼错了，conspicuous)and ubiquitous, involves different intersts (拼错了，interests)The purpose of this measure is to let the students learn more knowledge. But if we force them to study the subject, there would never be a positive consequence. As we all say “ Intersts is the best teacher.”（不知道这句俗语是不是这样翻的，但是要提醒楼主interets is，单复数错了，应该用单数）  In contemporary society, what we should do is giving（改为to give更好） the next generation more freedom to choose their like to do（to choose their like to do 应改为to choose what they like to do）  to become expertized（expertized这个词是楼主你自己造的吧，没这么用的啊。。。你可以用elites, outstanding等等。。） instead （改为instead of）pushing them to do what they donnot (为什么不写成do not)like which is no possible to cause a positive ending .(cause a positive ending这个表达是中式英语啊，直接说have a positive ending即可).Considering myself as an example（改为consider myself）, my school forced everyone (加一个to)study history. Though I didn’t like this course at all, I had to take it. During the process of studying history（改为in the process of）, I just felt like I’m a prisoner in a jail being pushed to do the boring practices and tests about history.At the day of finishing the history study, I just felt I am freedom again(I was free again, freedom是名词), not need to confront it. Even today, anyone ask me how do I think about history, I will answer I detest it! Yet this result for me is better than others, some of my classmates because of can’t withstand this course, they choose to drop out of the school .(这个句子错了，改为some of my classmates choose to drop out of the school because they can’t withstand this course) class without interested is akin to a suffering to the students. （这个句子也错了，改为it is suffering for students who are not interested in history to take history course） If he don’t want to take it but forced to take, not only no possible to make a good grade but also possible to make a worse effect.(not only …but also不是这么用的，您去查一下字典吧，这个句子我改不动了。。。)

Secondly, students have a lot of courses to take（加上so they have） no time for the extra class history(class history调个头). It is easy to observe that every student have too much load on his shoulder because of the pressure from future. (这句话有点啰嗦了，每个学生都有很重的负担因为他们有来自未来的压力？这个貌似因果关系不强)For the goal of a better work and better living standard, we have to study very hard in our majors. Some in the school study into midnight everday（拼错了） even all night. There tend to be no room for us to take an extra class history which need us pay a lot of attention to. With the trend of derceasing the classload of students（这句话请改成with students decreasing,您是要表达增多还是减少，decrease是减少的意思。。。）, this way of making history as compulsive class is adverse to the trend and not available for today’s age.（compulsive改成compulsory好些，您这个available用得很怪异啊，有点不懂）

Admittedly, some opponents may contend that the history is useful for everyone, as a result we should study it wherever our major（加个is）. Persuasive as it seems to be, but a further explanation can reveal how flimsy it is. （这句话的主语在哪里？？？！！！） It is do worthy（错了，do改为really）, but there is no need to be a complusive class. We have rights to choose study it in class or just as a relax way after class.

In a netshell（？）, we an（？） draw a conclusive conclusion, that we shouldn’t require all the students (加个to)take the history class since some of them do not have intresets（改为interest） in it and there have been so much studying load on them.


（总体意见：总体思路没有太大问题，问题出在语言上面，我想说，楼主您应该首先检查一下拼写错误，还有首字母大写的问题，以及标点符号之后需要空一个字符；其次，很多句式用错了，比如前面提到那个缺主语缺主句的；再者，楼主您是一遍查字典一遍写的嘛，用了很多很奇怪的词，其实我觉得用好简单词就已经很成功了；楼主您25号考吧，我26号，建议您可以去背一些范文，不要冒险用自己没用过不熟悉的单词句式，否则很可能出毛病的，加油）

metabolism君UID: 3354271

楼主，作文已改，颜色没设置好，请见谅~

ljmao2007UID: 3031354

实在不好意思，不知道是不是系统问题，我没有参加8.5号作文却被分组了，所以很迟的修改了作文，给您造成不便，实在不好意思！我也写了一下，望高手狠批指教,多多交流谢谢！

wuxiang0220UID: 3354608

metabolism君 发表于 2012-8-7 21:35
8月6号的作文修改，抱歉有点晚了，因为今天我摔了一跤，而且刚刚才有网上。。。因为我没有上传权限，所以就 ...

不好意思啊，我这次因为写的急，因为想在30分钟之内写完，所以好多单词拼写有问题，WORD不知道怎么回事又显示不出来拼写错误……不是翻字典写的……
谢谢批改了……

sodapengUID: 3242849

已改

wp3026557UID: 3252971

已改。多交流

dream0611UID: 3168697

已改

maoqiu007UID: 3023523

已改 期待楼主回复

dream0611UID: 3168697

已改，sorry，迟了很多

sodapengUID: 3242849

已改~

SYNCIAUID: 3130718

0810作文- wuxiang Revised by Syncia.doc (33 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2012-8-11 22:32:24 上传

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已改， 多交流哦

moophisUID: 2742296

0811
0811作文- wuxiang revised by moophis .doc (61.5 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2012-8-12 12:34:54 上传

下载次数: 2