IELTS作文第四弹，大家帮办忙，给看看。高手进啊！！！

李毅-大帝UID: 3349167

Ambition is being emphasized in today’s society.
How important do you think it is for those who want to succeed in their life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

When many people who are successful in their professions talking about the characteristics that help them to achieve their great goal, for example, self-confidence, diligence, to name but a few, they usually regard ambition as the most significant element of their success. Whether ambition is a positive personality that benefits both the individual and the society?
       
It should be admitted that ambition, to some extent, forms one’s most initial motivation of self-achievement. The other characteristics, say, braveness and resistance, are totally established on the basis of ambition. When a young man or woman takes his or her first step into the career without any professional experience, the ambition may play an extremely vital role to inspire him or her. With such an inspiration, young people will concentrate on their work and try their best to obtain excellent results. What’s more, to the society, individuals’ ambition makes a social environment, in which the creativity and hard-working are required and encouraged to make greater progress of the society. For instance, without the ambition of human-beings to fly in the sky, plane wouldn’t be invited and today’s long-distance trip would be a difficult process.

However, extreme ambition may also results in high pressure for individuals and lead to over-competition for this society. In the “cut- throat” competitive society, individuals who have great ambition, have already paid much effort, but haven’t succeeded, may have to bare very high psychological stress, and they are more likely to commit suicide or other extremely negative behaviors. To the society, keen social competition and high social pressure that are caused by individuals’ ambition may increase the rate of crime and reduce the index of happiness.

According to the discussion above, in most cases, both the people and the society can benefit from ambition, but extreme ambition will exert negative impact on us.


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李毅-大帝UID: 3349167

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李毅-大帝UID: 3349167

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rebeca0404UID: 3252897

非牛人弱弱地发表下意见...词汇还是不错的。不过楼主好像没表达好文章题目的意思，首先它针对的是‘those who want to succeed in their life’，而楼主第一段末尾转换成‘individual and the society’，觉得还不够恰当。另外，虽然对积极和消极的说法比较折中，但从整篇文章结构而言，貌似是比较侧重positive的，尽可能分两段举例谈positive的部分，更清晰地阐述自己的观点..还有就是长句运用比较多（逗号也多~），可能加强连词或稍微删减一下比较好~总体恩，6.0吧