寄托家园留学论坛 › 论坛 › 寄托语言类备考版 › TOEFL考试(IBT)讨论版 › TOEFL(IBT)作业区 › 【独立写作】Julia蜗牛的作业贴！

返回列表

查看: 3172|回复: 15

[作文] 【独立写作】Julia蜗牛的作业贴！ [复制链接]

Julia蜗牛
UID: 3368358

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 84
注册时间: 2012-8-30
精华: 0
帖子: 34

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2012-9-17 15:55:59 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 Julia蜗牛于 2012-9-20 13:47 编辑

谢过帮助修改的亲们~~~
加油努力练习作文

作业都放在一楼啦~~

0920独立_by Julia.doc (28 KB, 下载次数: 22)

0919独立_by Julia.doc (28.5 KB, 下载次数: 20)

0918独立_by Julia.doc (24 KB, 下载次数: 26)

0917独立_by Julia.doc (28 KB, 下载次数: 16)

0 0

使用道具举报

ZoeX
UID: 2822447

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 14
寄托币: 359
注册时间: 2010-6-2
精华: 0
帖子: 96

沙发

发表于 2012-9-18 11:57:09 |只看该作者

唔，不好的地方请见谅，一起加油吧^_^

9.17独立Julia蜗牛revised by ZoeX.doc (31 KB, 下载次数: 21)

双非DIY美硕申请总结

使用道具举报

alexcui
UID: 3365616

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 389
注册时间: 2012-8-23
精华: 0
帖子: 219

板凳

发表于 2012-9-19 14:37:39 |只看该作者

0918独立_by Julia-reviewed by alexcui.doc (30 KB, 下载次数: 10)
改完了，大家相互学习

使用道具举报

ZoeX
UID: 2822447

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 14
寄托币: 359
注册时间: 2010-6-2
精华: 0
帖子: 96

地板

发表于 2012-9-19 14:44:01 |只看该作者

9.18的作文^_^

9.18独立_by Julia revised by ZoeX.doc (33.5 KB, 下载次数: 10)

使用道具举报

Julia蜗牛
UID: 3368358

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 84
注册时间: 2012-8-30
精华: 0
帖子: 34

5楼

发表于 2012-9-19 21:23:28 |只看该作者

ZoeX 发表于 2012-9-19 14:44
9.18的作文^_^

谢谢亲~~~话说你是不是也看过无老师作文巨讲堂啊~~~句子超亲切~~~~你写的好顺啊~~~~小膜拜一下~~我果断放弃长句了...写的太不清不楚的

使用道具举报

Julia蜗牛
UID: 3368358

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 84
注册时间: 2012-8-30
精华: 0
帖子: 34

6楼

发表于 2012-9-19 21:24:08 |只看该作者

alexcui 发表于 2012-9-19 14:37
改完了，大家相互学习

3Q~~~各种不知道怎么写一些让人眼前一亮的句子~~~还纠结着呢

使用道具举报

alexcui
UID: 3365616

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 389
注册时间: 2012-8-23
精华: 0
帖子: 219

7楼

发表于 2012-9-20 08:44:03 |只看该作者

Julia蜗牛发表于 2012-9-19 21:24
3Q~~~各种不知道怎么写一些让人眼前一亮的句子~~~还纠结着呢

我也在犯愁

使用道具举报

ZoeX
UID: 2822447

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 14
寄托币: 359
注册时间: 2010-6-2
精华: 0
帖子: 96

8楼

发表于 2012-9-20 12:59:37 |只看该作者

Julia蜗牛发表于 2012-9-19 21:23
谢谢亲~~~话说你是不是也看过无老师作文巨讲堂啊~~~句子超亲切~~~~你写的好顺啊~~~~小膜拜一下~~我果断放 ...

木有看过耶……汗……哪天找来学习一下，话说我现在觉得最好提高的就是语言了=。=
9.19的

9.19独立_by Julia revised by ZoeX.doc (29 KB, 下载次数: 10)

使用道具举报

Julia蜗牛
UID: 3368358

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 84
注册时间: 2012-8-30
精华: 0
帖子: 34

9楼

发表于 2012-9-20 13:55:55 |只看该作者

ZoeX 发表于 2012-9-20 12:59
木有看过耶……汗……哪天找来学习一下，话说我现在觉得最好提高的就是语言了=。=
9.19的

话说我写的时候光想patient了...然后自动忽略take action...
现在回去看真的是偏了...往做了什么事上靠靠应该....
真心觉得越大的词越难写...高中语文就喜欢出一个词什么习惯啊常识啊然后就写去吧~~~~T_T

使用道具举报

ZoeX
UID: 2822447

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 14
寄托币: 359
注册时间: 2010-6-2
精华: 0
帖子: 96

10楼

发表于 2012-9-20 14:38:26 |只看该作者

Julia蜗牛发表于 2012-9-20 13:55
话说我写的时候光想patient了...然后自动忽略take action...
现在回去看真的是偏了...往做了什么事上靠靠 ...

阿勒？楼主还是高中生么？那太厉害……回想我高中那个惨不忍睹的英语水平啊趴……

使用道具举报

Julia蜗牛
UID: 3368358

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 84
注册时间: 2012-8-30
精华: 0
帖子: 34

11楼

发表于 2012-9-20 16:02:24 |只看该作者

ZoeX 发表于 2012-9-20 14:38
阿勒？楼主还是高中生么？那太厉害……回想我高中那个惨不忍睹的英语水平啊趴……

大四还在苦逼二战T的人我会告诉你么...捂脸狂奔~~~~~

使用道具举报

ZoeX
UID: 2822447

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 14
寄托币: 359
注册时间: 2010-6-2
精华: 0
帖子: 96

12楼

发表于 2012-9-20 16:28:08 |只看该作者

Julia蜗牛发表于 2012-9-20 16:02
大四还在苦逼二战T的人我会告诉你么...捂脸狂奔~~~~~

逮住握爪……同为大四二战的苦逼孩儿=。=

使用道具举报

baxiacandy
UID: 3203456

高级会员

Rank: 5 Rank: 5

声望: 15
寄托币: 1013
注册时间: 2011-11-12
精华: 0
帖子: 244

13楼

发表于 2012-9-20 17:59:30 |只看该作者

不好意思发晚了

0919独立_by Julia revised by baxiacandy.doc

25.5 KB, 下载次数: 9

使用道具举报

avisophling
UID: 3357640

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 15
寄托币: 221
注册时间: 2012-8-3
精华: 0
帖子: 78

14楼

发表于 2012-9-21 08:23:20 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 avisophling 于 2012-9-21 08:25 编辑

9月20日独立已改
Do you agree ordisagree: The most important investment of a company is to improve the skillsof its employees.

To run a companysuccessfully, the leader is sure to be wise enough to balance kinds of resourceto upgrade the company. Among those variousresource, skills of employee takes an importantposition. However, I disagree with the statement that the most importantinvestment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees.

Admittedly,capable employees mean a lot. Staff with specific skills and surprising talentcan improve the efficiency and productivity of a company. Employees with creativitycan make elaborate design; employees withexcellent eloquence can increase the sale; andemployees with splendid leadership can manage the company in good order. However,whether the employees are capable or not isn’tthe only criterion to judge a company. Other factors like the facility and advertisementalso account for a successful company which is worth of investing.(好像可能造成歧义，认为是说公司值得投资)

Facilities whichalso need to be investment（invested） are the prerequisitefor products in high quality. Only if the leader invested（一般现在时就行吧……难道这是虚拟语气？） enough to the manufactoryequipment can yield and quality be increased. Take the Texas Instruments Inc. asan example, due to the advanced equipment they owned（own）,they can manufacture device in a quantity so large that they can make an incredible profit from it. Therefore intelligentinvestors would spend considerable amount of money toimprove(on improving) the quality of thefacilities. If not, no matter however employees they have, they can’t producegood products.

In addition, moneyis also needed to be spent on advertisement to improve the reputation of thecompany and product. A company of high status in the society is more likely tobe recognized. Employees in so-called big companylike Pepsi and P&G often feel happier than in unknown company （加复数）even in alower salary. So by making advertisement on TV and broadcast the company cannot only promote their products but also arouse thesense of pride of their staff.

To sum up, a leaderof a company should take as much（many） conditions in to consideration whendeciding how to make an investment. It’s indeed important to improve theability of employees, but other factors like facility and advertisement alsoworth being invested for the profound influence theymay bring. So it’s too arbitrary toregard the skills of employees as the most investment.

总结：观点鲜明，遣词造句很好，是“most”类作文的通常写法，写得真好~值得学习！

使用道具举报