ISSUE & ARGUMENT各一篇 ETS 评过分的

genie05UID: 30358

花了10美金得到的结果

今天去ETS的那个机器评分的地方试了一下
Issue是3,Argument是5
最后竟然是4分，hoho~~~~
下面是我的文章和评语
机器重点批的几个部分：
拼写，语法，结构以及语言（是否重复使用）
写的时候要注意按照标准，如果是机器打分规范的文章得分会很高

Over All Score: 4
Score: 3
Explanation of Score:
A 3 paper demonstrates some competence in its analysis of the issue and in conveying meaning but is obviously flawed.

A typical paper in this category exhibits ONE OR MORE of the following characteristics:

-- is vague or limited in presenting or developing a position on the issue
-- is weak in the use of relevant reasons or examples
-- is poorly focused and/or poorly organized
-- has problems in language and sentence structure that result in a lack of clarity
-- contains occasional major errors or frequent minor errors in grammar, usage, or mechanics that can interfere with meaning
This response was scored with LOW CONFIDENCE for the following reason(s):
Compared to other essays written on this topic, your essay contains more repetition of words.
This score may not reflect the final score that this response would be awarded in a GRE test administration.
Topic:
"It is important for higher education to challenge established traditions and values."

Present your perspective on the issue below, using relevant reasons and/or examples to support your views.
Your Answer:
What is the purpose of higher education? One important purpose for education is to challenge established traditions and values. I agree with this point. The challenge of established traditions and values will cultivate the students' good characters of creation, and could eliminate some falty values through various of values.

First,the main purpose of education is not only teach students the existing knowledge and the old traditional values ,but to teach them the creation,to break the old. This is one of the most important characters in one's life.Creative is needed in most of the fields in the society. Traditions, that we may see that some of them have been out of date these days, should be changed. In the college and university, students could air their opinion in an free atmosphere, only through this could students form a habit of critical thinking, and the character of creation will be formed during the discussion of their points of view. Therefore,it is very important for higher education to challenge established traditions.

Second,the traditions and the values which have been established seems falty in some cases,and college is a place where these falty values could be challenged.The traditional value system,which are formed over hundreds of years, some of them could not be suit to the society nowadays. These value system should be changed. The renewal of the value system could do good not only to the society nowadays,but the development of the society. As it was said above,the college is a place where students could present different opinions and different value systems. In the process of higher education, students could learn different and controversial values systems that maybe different from himself, even some new values that are in controversy with the value that are existed. Through choosing them,they could make a better view point ,both advantage and disvantage, and could formed there own value that are best fit for them.

However,it should be admitted that higher education should follow the traditions and the values that could benefit our society nowadays. Most of the traditions,with hundreds of years' deposition,however,could still help students to adopt the accurate knowledge, and the proper value syetem. Students should form some of the good traditional values,such as honesty , confidence, enthuiastic and humility. These good values should not be challenged and should not be changed. Only those value that are out-of-date to the nowadays society should be challenged.

To sum up, Challenging established traditions and values is an important aspect for higher education.Through this, students could be more creative, and could form a sound value system that fits for them and the society nowadays. However, the traditions and the value systems that are still be useful in forming a right knowledge and a value system should not be chanllenged and students still have to learn from them.


Score: 5
Explanation of Score:
A 5 paper presents a generally thoughtful, well-developed critique of the argument and conveys meaning clearly.

A typical paper in this category

-- clearly identifies important features of the argument and analyzes them in a generally perceptive way
-- develops ideas clearly, organizes them logically, and connects them with appropriate transitions
-- sensibly supports the main points of the critique
-- demonstrates control of language, including appropriate word choice and sentence variety
-- demonstrates facility with the conventions of standard written English but may have minor errors
Topic:
A recent survey of dental patients showed that people who use Smile-Bright toothpaste are most likely to have capped teeth---artificial but natural-looking protective coverings placed by dentists on individual teeth. Those people who had begun using Smile-Bright toothpaste early in life were more likely to have capped teeth than were people who had begun using Smile-Bright later in life. In addition, those who reported brushing their teeth more than twice a day with Smile-Bright toothpaste were more likely to have caps on their teeth than were those who reported brushing with Smile-Bright less frequently. Therefore, people wishing to avoid having their teeth capped should not use Smile-Bright toothpaste.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument.
Your Answer:
In this argument,the arguer concludes that people should not use the Smile-Bright toothpaste in orderto avoid having their teeth capped by the support of a survey and some facts. Unfortunately,this conclusion is unwarrant and misleading in some aspects.

In the first, there is no causal relationship between the people's likeness to have capped teeth and the people who use Smile-Bright toothpaste. Only co-relationship is concerned. The arguer unfairly assumes that those people who use the Smile-Bright toothpaste are most likely to have capped teeth without any evidence. In addition,the survey that the arguer cited in the argument seems in lack of credibility. For example, since this survey is conducted mainly to dental patients,it is highly possible that the most of the people who response the survey are inclined to have capped teeth. And how many people take the survey is also unknown to us. Therefore,we cannot see any evidence that people who use Smile-Bright toothpaste have the most probability to have capped teeth.

In the second,the arguer unfairly assumes from the facts that people who use Smile-Bright toothpaste frequently have more probability to have capped teeth. It is clearly that the quality of the teeth could be influenced in many aspects, such as the habit of eating. For example, those who usually eat sweet will be more likely to have capped teeth than those who do not. In addition, the correctness of having teeth brushed also influences the quality of teeth. Moreover,we could not know the facts of those who are not reported. It is possible that those who are reported contains only a small percent of residents and could not represent the whole peopl. So There is no evidence that the toothpaste have anything to do with the probability of having capped teeth.

Finally ,the arguer do not provide further convincing examples such as those who do not use the Smile-Bright toothpaste to support his conclusion. We could not know the facts of those who do not use Smile-Bright toothpaste. Maybe they will have a higher rate of having teeth capped. So the hasty generlization is made before further facts and examples are cited. To conclude,The arguer fails to convince us that the Smile-Bright toothpaste have anything to do with the capped teeth . To made the conclusion more convincing, the arguer must cite other examples such as the causal relationship between the use of Smile-Bright toothpaste and more convincing facts and surveys that could provide the point of view.

imongUID: 140258

算是重要资料了，谢谢genie，过一阵子肯定要收进精华的。我觉得ets机器判出来分的essay是我们分析判据很需要的。我反正没有去diagnose过，但愿后来人有这样做的能够拿出来分享吧。

argument没什么好说的，我们平均水平都是这样。issue的话，虽然我先看分再看文章，不过这篇文章的position的确weak，这一点恐怕问题最大，看到3分有点吃惊，不过返回来想想也就不奇怪了。

又想起来了我自己的作文，郁闷啊，搞不好也是3分的issue，argu能不能5分还两说呢。不说了，提起那个issue就伤心，写得乱七八糟的。

paisleyUID: 64183

imong别伤心！你以前的文章都很不错的，应该不止3分啊。别胡思乱想。

恩，最后得分按ETS的规则，就是AR和ISSUE的平均分哦，没什么奇怪的呀

genie05UID: 30358

IMONG那么牛，急什么啊。打击我们啦。