【独立写作】ヤ.魔ポ☆.作业贴

ヤ.魔ポ☆.UID：3381952

为啥突然被顶上来了。。大家愿意参考的话可以看看这一篇哈，二战前写的最后一篇，ro老师的评价还可以~之前的作文的话，太往前的就不用看了。。还处于逻辑混乱中不要误导大家~      2013.07.11





这篇完全写偏题了好么。。。_(:з」∠)_















求Romanus大人批改的作文在三楼

秋雨荆州UID：2903781

加油！

奔跑蜗牛UID：2579189

名字很酷 加油

ヤ.魔ポ☆.UID：3381952

秋雨荆州 发表于 2012-11-6 16:28
加油！

谢谢鼓励！:victory:
题目:Which of the following three factors contribute to an enjoyable vacation most? A. Good food; B. Good location; C. Good friends with you. (Life)

Pleasant vacations always lead us to a brilliant world, for we can totally get rid of what frustrate us in our daily life. Speaking of vacations, we usually let our minds wander in the sweet memories of what scenery we have seen, how palatable food we have enjoyed and most importantly, who we have shared all those feelings with.

In the first place, usually what we remember most are what we have done when travelling. It will be a little weird to say that what really makes the trips fascinating is not where we plan to go or what we taste for the first time, but those people together with us, who have already been around us for long, while it seems that the key point of vacations apparently is get to know a different world. In fact, as I see it, no matter how enjoyable the landscapes and foods are, they can only provide you with a short and sensory impression, when comparatively, the love and happiness we share with our companions is long-lasting.

Moreover, sometimes it is easy for us to notice that, many scenic spots look much alike. Take two of my trips for example. I went to a public garden with my high school friends during my summer vacation last year, which is renowned for its springs. We queued for a long time only to find an ordinary river, which was far from satisfactory. Nevertheless, we still had a great time, talking about our high school life and new experience in universities. What I want to focus on is that, we often travel with old friends just to stay with those who we love for some time. In other words, vacations are just good opportunities for us to be together. Thus, the trips themselves do not matter that much.

In addition to that, sometimes attending trips is a good method for us to befriend with someone new. For instance, the summer trip I joined in attracted people from the whole city. During those days I made friends with two girls at my age. We went almost everywhere together and shared a lot. What is important, now we still keep in touch with each other, and I really feel happy to have new friends. That is to say, in my point of view, taking a vacation is a very good chance to know someone you have never seen and nearly impossible to know before.

To sum up, what truly makes vacations worth praising is not what we eat during the trips, not to mention the monotonous scenery we have viewed for a thousand times, but those who keep us company. Whether they are old friends or not, the happiness they bring to us will be the real treasure we want to keep.

ヤ.魔ポ☆.UID：3381952

奔跑蜗牛 发表于 2012-11-6 18:00
名字很酷 加油

谢谢谢谢！:)一定会加油的！

adrian小豆UID：3395053

我大概看了一个开头 明天有时间再细看一下 扛不住了 顺便说一下 你思维很跳跃嘛

avisophlingUID：3357640

11月6日 独立 已改

ヤ.魔ポ☆.UID：3381952

adrian小豆 发表于 2012-11-7 03:12
我大概看了一个开头 明天有时间再细看一下 扛不住了 顺便说一下 你思维很跳跃嘛

怎么大家都是晚睡党。。是的 我经常控制不住偏题来的 语文英语作文都这样==

ヤ.魔ポ☆.UID：3381952

avisophling 发表于 2012-11-7 09:02
11月6日 独立 已改

谢谢你的鼓励和建议！我就是想不出来怎么写了。。三个理由有点困难T-T我想多看看范文的思路什么的 我马上拜读你的~刚刚下体育课

wangzhangupUID：2929681

ヤ.魔ポ☆.UID：3381952

wangzhangup 发表于 2012-11-7 16:19

谢谢！我觉得这建议很有帮助。。我就是半天想不出来三个支持的观点了
我是12月2号考试~比你稍晚两天

wangzhangupUID：2929681

ヤ.魔ポ☆. 发表于 2012-11-7 16:39
谢谢！我觉得这建议很有帮助。。我就是半天想不出来三个支持的观点了
我是12月2号考试~比你稍晚两天

相互帮助，加油！

ヤ.魔ポ☆.UID：3381952

wangzhangup 发表于 2012-11-7 18:18
相互帮助，加油！

:handshake

荷糖月UID：3394974

试着改啦(*′艸`)

荷糖月UID：3394974

11.7日已改~这里是我的作文，欢迎指正~https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1475766-1-1.html